Beauty & The Mask
by StarshipLight
Summary: After TFA. Rey is captured again by Kylo Ren. Will he be able to convert her to the dark side or will she be able to escape back to The Resistance? Does she even want to go back? Slow burn Dark Love Story. Reylo, Reys POV (Mature rating chapter 25 and up; Thankyou!)
1. Chapter 1

** **Hi everyone! This is my first fan fiction story. Ever since I saw the movie I have been obsessed with the thought of these two together. I hope you like it. I post fast updates. There will be some mature content in further chapters. Thank you! -SSL ****

Beauty & The Mask

Chapter 1: The Awakening

The sky is still dark when I finally get myself to open my eyes again. I quickly remember I'm not back on Jakku. I sit up and rub my eyes, telling myself that at least I'm still breathing. It's only been a few days since the Starkiller was destroyed. Luke hasn't even asked me about what happened with... that man... And I can't bring myself to even want to talk about it. I'm still so confused why someone would kill their own father. If I had a father, If I had a parent, or anyone... I would never let them go. But then again, they let me go.

I shake my head and my legs over the side of the bed and look for my boots, I can hear the crackle of a fire nearby so I leave the hut and walk in that direction. The island is beautiful in its own way. Somewhat bare but so beautiful. The ocean stretching farther than the sands back home. I love looking at it and feeling the light breeze on my face. But there was something different about tonight, I felt it. I still had a hard time explaining to myself how I was different now. I didn't want to be though, my life back home was fine. I was fine. Before Finn ever showed up or before any of this. But I knew that now maybe I wouldn't have to feel so alone.

I finally locate the sound and see Luke standing with his back towards me, his cloak resting on a nearby tree branch. "Couldn't sleep", he said, but I couldn't tell if it was a question or answer.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. I just can't seem to stay asleep. Iv never been a good sleeper." I whisper. He turned his head to the side and I swore I saw a smile.

"Nothing startles me Rey. I was a Jedi. I hear the wind before it blows," he looks up,"I feel the light though there is no sun." I think he's referring to the Light, not physical light. "Take a seat."

I walked around the other side of the fire and take a seat on a log. I didn't even question how this massive log got here. Seems to big for a person to move by themselves. "Why do you say you were a Jedi? Everyone seems to think you still are. I think you are. I actually believed this..." I gesture my arms to the world around me "... This was all a myth. But I found you. Here, on this island." He walks around the fire, never breaking eye contact and sits down next to me.

"What did you feel when you left Jakku?" He asks. Simply, ignoring my question all together. I break away from his gaze and look up at the stars wondering about home. Was it even home anymore. I knew I could never go back. Looking back at Luke I was overwhelmed with feelings and I could feel my eyes watering.

"I felt I had to help BB-8 get to the resistance, and then I needed to get back home. My family could show up looking for me at any moment. What if I wasn't there? They would leave again and I would never see them. But now I feel like they were never coming back. Until a few days ago, I always thought they would come back for me." Tears roll down my face.

Luke takes my hand and puts it in his and let's out a sigh. Closing his eyes he says, "I can see a young girl. Staring at the stars night after night, loosing sleep because she didn't want to miss the chance her family was coming back to look for her. Wondering what she did wrong, I see her asking herself who she was..." He sighs again, almost sad sounding. "Don't hold on anymore. Only then you can fully open your heart to the Light". He opens his eyes and stares at me. Like he is looking into my soul. Like the masked man. "You found your destiny, your home. Whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances were. It lead you to me for a reason. You are right were you are suppose to be. Go get some sleep. Tomorrow I'll start by showing you to relax your mind." He gets up and starts to walk away but turns back to me, "You are truly a special Light, only once you realize that can you really be at peace with your past." And then he's gone.

I start my walk back to my stone hut. He's right, the last few days iv spent trying to just understand everything and tell myself it's all true, it's the reason he hasn't tried to train me. He wanted me to be ready, fully ready to commit to my new life as a Jedi. I walk back to my hut. It wasn't big but it was cozy. Much cozier than home. With a cot to lay on and a window looking over the ocean. A stone shelf on the wall held a few shells I found down at the beach one day. From the one wall a small tube like rock sticks out and it always has fresh flowing water that falls into a small sink and out through the bottom of the floor. Must be a Jedi trick because I still don't know how it works. I'm content with my life here. Luke is right. It's time to move forward. I'm not a scavenger anymore, I have a purpose. Whatever that might be. I close my eyes and finally fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Voice

'Rey.'

My eyes spring open and I sit strait up to look around the room to see if there was anyone there. What was that? I tried to shake the feeling but something seemed off. I turned my head and noticed it was light outside. The sun shining brightly through the window. My body ached, like I slept a thousand years. Then I remembered the conversation with Luke last night. Was that a dream? Quickly I put on my boots and swing my staff over my shoulder, will I even need this. I feel naked without it. My only form of protection was this staff back home. Splashing some cool water over my face and trying to find some composure. I head out the door in search for Luke. I found him standing on a ledge overlooking the ocean. I will never tire of the view from up here.

"Luke?" I asked, still afraid to startle him though I know he heard me coming. How long has he been there waiting for me. "I'm ready for whatever you have planned for me. I am ready to accept my destiny." He turned around to face me but his eyes looked right past me. What is he looking at?

"Your staff will do you no good here. Today is all about your mind. You are stronger than you know Rey. An energy flows around you like the wind you feel around you now." It wasn't until then I realized their was a slight cooling breeze on my skin. How could I not notice, Jakku never had a breeze like this. The air was always so thick and hot that it even made breathing a chore. Here, everything was so serene and peaceful. I didn't know a place like this ever existed except in my dreams. I close my eyes and feel the air, the breeze, the sun, on my skin warming me. "Keep your eyes closed and sit. Star breathing in slowly, listen and feel your surroundings. The force is something you must feel around you. It flows through all living things. I want you to meditate."

Doing as I'm told I sit down and cross my legs. After a minutes of deep breathing I can feel more now than I have ever felt in my lifetime. I feel the leaves blow in the tree to my left, and on my right I can hear some sort of animal scurrying across the ground. Something small but fast. I sneak an eye open and look to see if I can point out the sound. But there isn't anything there.

"Close your eyes young padawan. You must feel the life around you. Meditation is key to strengthening your abilities." I close my eye before he finishes his sentence, trying to feel the life around me. I must be there for hours because I can feel the sun moving across the sky. I feel the water moving in the ocean. So calm and tranquil, I focus on that.

'Rey', suddenly echoes in my mind.

Like my own thought but someone else's, a voice not my own. I jumped up and stumble back tripping over a small branch falling hard onto my back almost knocking the wind out of me. My eyes so wide the light is burning them. Forcing myself to sit up despite my aching tailbone, I'm met by worried eyes watching me from a few feet away. Should I tell him about the voice.

"What's wrong young one?" Luke looked worried. He was sitting In front of were I was sitting, I didn't even know he was that close. "There is no danger here. You are safe on this island. It took many years for someone to find me, for you to find me."

Standing up, I fixed my pants and wipe the dirt from my hands along the side of my shirt. OUCH, a small cut starts pumping blood down the side of my palm, pooling in the middle. So much blood for a small knick. I look behind me to see a small rock sticking from the ground that just missed my back. Luke slowly walks over to me still trying to access the situation. "When you meditate you are opening your mind to the world. To all your senses. Allowing the light flow through you." He walks over and puts my small hand into his. "This will heal before you know it." He starts wrapping a small cloth around my hand and looks at me and winks. I'm so confused, what does all this still mean. What am I doing here, can I even learn how to be a Jedi. I suddenly miss home, being alone was simple. "Someday you will understand that your purpose in the galaxy is far bigger than you ever imagined. I loved fixing this when I was young" he looks up like he is reading my face to see if he should tell me this story. My small hand still in his he leads me to the edge of the cliff and looks over the water. "When My uncle bought R2 D2 almost felt I instantly had to help him. He had a message from Leia, and I wanted to make sure it got his message to Obiwan. Like how you felt about BB8." How does he know all this, no wonder he hasn't asked about the Starkiller base, he probably already knew.

He continued, "When I realized who I was, what I was. I was scared, excited, ready for the new life waiting for me. You need to be ready Rey. Are you ready to see the galaxy waiting for you to bring peace between the First order and the Resistance?" So that's it, he knows my destiny, he knows what I am. I need to trust this man, he seems to be the only person I can count on. Suddenly I miss Finn, the only person to ever come back for me. Me, a scavenger... Just a scavenger. No one to him but he still felt he needed to protect me and care for me. Why? Does he know who I am.

"I'm scared I'm not going to be what you need me to be. What the Galaxy expects me to be." I'm starting to cry, why am I crying. Stop crying Rey.

"Let's stop for today. Maybe try meditating on your own by the water. It always brings me great peace. Slow your breathing, open your senses, and let the force flow through you." He says, almost worried. He's probably thinking how it was a mistake to try and train me already. I look to face him. But just like that he was gone. I look down from the edge and take a step back. It was high, so high, it stood taller than any vessel left in the sun, picked apart by other scavengers like me back home on Jakku. Skeletons of the wars before my time for sure. Let's try meditating I think to myself. And start my long walk down the stone steps to the beach I found my shells. It was so serene, so peaceful. I came down here the second day slightly hoping Chewie was still here, I knew he wasn't but I still wanted to check. Any excuse to see the water. I was so mesmerized how beautiful the water was here. So blue and so open. The air crisp and clean.

The most at peace I have ever felt was sitting by this water. I don't know how to swim, there was never a need to learn or water to learn in. I focus on my breathing and close my eyes picturing the water surrounding me, cooling my hot skin. Slowly my mind focuses on the sounds of birds, waves, the way the air moved around me. Than I heard it again.

'Rey, you can't hide from me'.

I don't open my eyes but try harder to focus on the voice, it sounds so familiar but like a distant memory. Maybe it's Luke, testing my focus skills. But could he do that, get into my mind without being there. Did he know that trick to. But the voice is much different from Lukes. I try harder, scrunching my face tight.

'I know where you are scavenger'.

It's him, that voice, it's him. The man in the mask. Suddenly everything went dark.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Journeys End

It's so hard to open my eyes but I know I'm awake. I can feel the sun on my skin. I hear the birds in the distance. Suddenly the weight on my eyes lets go and I spring them open. Almost on instinct I get into my attack mode, crouching down with one foot I front of the other and my hand to my staff. Wait my staff. Where is it? Oh yeah, it's up on the cliff where I left it after meditating with Luke. Or at least trying to meditate. What happened? It wont do any good to sit here and find out so I turn back around and start running up the stone steps back to Luke. I must tell him about the voice now.

"LUKE! LUKE!" I yelled when I almost reached the top. But no one answered. "LUKE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!... Luke?" But no answer. That's when I feel it before I see it. Luke laying lifeless on the ground. I could feel him though, reaching out to me. Not physically but in my mind I could feel him. I start running faster up the steps. Passing a few seldom trees. When I get to the top I see him. He was over by the ledge where I fear to look down to the ground again because I know I'm to clumsy and would just fall to my death. I ran as fast as I could over to him and got onto my knees, not caring that my foot slid over and hung hundreds of feet above harsh waves crashing over rocks. "Oh Luke, what happened? Oh Luke." Tears flowing from my eyes crashing down onto his chest. He hasn't even begun to teach me things. Anything, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I do a once over his body. He isn't physically hurt, at least that I can tell. How can a Jedi who spent all those years in exile just collapse for no reason. This can't be happening, this can't be.

"Rey, Rey." He suddenly coughs so hard blood comes out. "There is great darkness out there. Horrible things. But you, child, are the Light. Bring... Bring... Peace." Then as much as I felt him there, in my mind, trying to hold on. I felt nothing. He was gone. I felt cold overwhelm my body, that's when my arms get weak and I just collapse my head on his chest and let out a long sob. What has happened? The resistance counted on me to bring him back. To become this new Jedi and be his apprentice and learn the ways of the force. I let everyone down. I still don't understand how this happened. I pull my head up from my arms and look down at Luke's face.

A fire red pain starts in my head, so painful it feels as though my mind has been set on fire. A jolt to my head like a high pitched scream, temporarily putting spots in my vision. I stand up so fast I loose balance and fall forward. Thankfully I didn't fall backwards down the cliff. I lift my face up from the ground and rub my eyes on the back of my arm wrap. I can only see black shapes until my eyes focus and I see a pair of dark boots inches from me.

"You thought you could hide from me. How predictable." The voice was deep, dark, and sent chills up my spine. I stood up to come face to chest with thick black fabric before putting my arm above my eyes to shield it from the sun. Slowly looking up to the mask of Kylo Ren. He was just a feet inches away. Suddenly I felt like I was hit by a moving starship and flew back until my head hit a tree. Nearly knocking me unconscious. Then the worst pain around my neck and being lifted off the ground until I was on my toes. I grab to remove the invisible hands. Of course it's the force. I can't breath and I keep my eyes closed, I don't want to die looking into the mask of a murderer. "Open your eyes scavenger!" He sounded like he was still near Luke's dead body. But I could hear him walking closer. His feet were so heavy.

"No" I manage to whisper. The hold around my neck loosens and my feet are flat on the ground now. "Luke... Luke." I manage to squeeze out of my throat.

"Open. Your. Eyes." He hissed through his mask.

'Or I'll make you.'

His voice exploded in my head like rays of heat. Of course he wore that stupid mask, it's so damn intimidating. I slowly but reluctantly open my eyes. He was arms length away. With his arm stretched out just inches from my neck. He still had a small grasp that made it hard to breath. I stare into his fingers not daring to look into his mask. "I could kill you right now. Though I'm sure Luke Skywalkers death will redeem me of the embarrassment you caused me. But I don't think Supreme Leader Snoke would be happy I killed you, just yet. You pathetic excuse of a Jedi."

I can't even fight back. My head started to get fuzzy. I could feel tickle startin to form on the back of my head. I must of cut it open because I can't focus on his gloves anymore. Everything is so blurry. He dropped his arm and the hold around my neck let go and I sag to the ground gasping for hair. My eyes are half shut. I move my left hand to my side looking for the staff that isn't there, I instinctively move my right to rub the tickle forming on the back of my neck. It was so wet and felt like to much blood. I look at my hand and up to the Mask before everything went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Meadow

I am running through a field filled with the most beautiful yellow and purple flowers. Iv never seen something so delicate and exquisite. The meadow must be two times the size of the Falcon. I don't remember how I got here, and for the moment I don't care. The tall grass just reaches my hips and tickles my palms as I am just skipping around. I feel at peace and filled with such happiness. I notice the waterfalls, seeming that I was so focused on the flowers I didn't catch them at first. They are amazing, something I never in my dreams even thought I would see, that something like this existed outside my life on Jakku. I glare at the sun glistening off the flowing water. The waterfall almost perfectly surrounds the meadow, enclosing it. Just a narrow waterway leads out. Where am I? Do I even care? I close my eyes and tip my head back and just slowly spin around. Serendipity. I want to stay in this place forever, wherever it may be. It smells like honey and all these new smells. The sun isn't hot, it's gentle on my skin, warming me and making me smile. Hugging myself I lay down in the middle of the meadow.

Listening to the water flowing down the waterfalls, I feel no sense of the force in me but allow myself to open all my senses and relax my body. No voices in my head, just the world around me. Is this what death feels like? Just complete happiness. Resting my hands on my stomach I feel the most delicate silk made in the galaxy. I can only guess. Iv only touched silk once and Plutt almost cut my hand off for it. Saying I tainted the merchandise, he was selling it to a high king somewhere. I open my eyes and look down and I'm wearing a long silk nightgown. It was breathtaking. White with small gold flowers that ombré from the bottom up till they almost disappear completely under my breasts and blowing gently against the ground around me. It's a perfect fit. My feet are bare and I bend my knee and dig my toes in the grass. Enjoying the sensation of having no boots on. If this is death, I'll take it. The sky is so blue with beautiful white clouds scattered around in giant fluffy balls. I sit up and hug myself again. I never want to leave here.

A sudden bolt of lightening comes from one the the white fluffy clouds in the sky. It almost hit me. I jump up and star running, where am I going to run. I'm almost completely surrounded by water. The sky turned grey in the matter of seconds, the clouds clash and quake till there is no sun left. A chill in the air, and another lightening bolt. I squeeze my arms around myself, I'm afraid. I force to turn around to run towards the only opening I see and there he is, standing at the end of the meadow. In all black with his mask of death, just staring at me. The rain starts, just as a sprinkle, just little droplets on my shoulders and eyelashes. It picks up fast till its raining so hard it's cascades the whole meadow. I can't even see in front of myself, I try to turn to run the other way but my feet are stuck in the mud. I can't move. Kyle Ren is here, in my afterlife. In my meadow. Without warning a lightening bolt strikes down right in front of me, surely close enough I could reach out at touch it. It temporarily sends a shock through my body blinding all my senses. It's so bright, I can't see anymore.

My eyes spring open and I'm not in the meadow anymore. Instead I'm laying on the floor of a small square grey room with no windows. No furnishings. Just a solid door on one wall, allowing them to come and take me to my execution no doubt. He captured me. It was a dream. It was all a dream! The tears come flowing out. That was all just a stupid dream. Of coarse Kylo Ren had not killed me yet but took me from the island. He wants to finish torturing me and trying to get into my mind. Why was he in my dream? Why have I never felt that type of reality in my dreams before? Sitting up and bending my knees so I could rest my head on them, I wrap my arms around my legs and pull myself in as tight as I could. The sound of my own crying echoing off the walls. I was sobbing deep hard sobs, my eyes hurts. My chest hurts like it's empty and my heart was ripped out leaving a huge gaping hole.

"LUKE!" I cried out. Over and over I cried out his name. Hoping he survived and could hear me. Though I know in a thousand lifetimes that wasn't true. I don't know what went wrong, how did he find us? I nearly had a week to get to know the man who knew more about me than anyone. From one look he could tell my whole life story, said I told it by the way I walked. The second man I thought of as a father figure, killed my no other than Kylo Ren. One his own father and his the his uncle. His very own blood, how could a human do that. He isn't human I tell myself. He's a monster! A cold killer! I hated him with every ounce of my being. I should have killed him when I had the chance. But I saw a scared boy laying in the snow and felt pity for him. Pity that he was going to die in a pool of his own blood out in that forest. I look down at my own clothes cover in blood and dirt and Ouchh my head. Oh god my head, I feel for the wound and I quickly find it. Its encased in a thick layer of encrusted blood, at least it's not bleeding anymore but I know it was a wound that should of gotten medically checked. I feel disgusted with myself.

The door of the cell sprang open and closed with a thud. I manage to pick my head up and peak who it is. Though I already know, I can feel his anger radiating off him .

"Did you bring me here just to kill me in front of an audience?" I cringe at the idea of even speaking to him. He just cocks his head slightly to the side but doesn't speak. Staring at me behind the black visor of his helmet. Probably burning a hole in my soul with his pulsating anger. I feel my body start to tense up and the fire start to return to my mind. Grabbing the sides of my head and pushing my palms as hard as I can into my temples, I try and push back but I can't. He's blocking me this time. He's stronger, but he shouldn't be standing let alone alive after the way I left him. And it stops and I allow myself to let out a long breath, I didn't even realize I was hold it in. "Do you want anything? Because as you can see I have nothing to offer. You already took everything I have." I gesture my hands cell walls. He still doesn't answer so I lower my head back down onto my knees. "I'm just waiting to die", I mumble into my legs. So this is it, the end.

"I have not come to kill you. Just yet." He moved closer to me even though I feel there even enough room in the room for two people to be any closer. He walks around me. Observing me like I'm some sort of meat that he is about to buy. It makes me very uncomfortable, sending chills down my spine.

 _Coward._

He came to a sudden halt in front of me and forcefully pushed me back to the wall. He grabbed my shoulders and slid me up the wall feeling so hard I thought my arms where going to come off. "I am no coward. You filthy scavenger. You will not speak to me that way!" He demanded through his mask. The voice is so deep it makes my body numb.

"You... You... Stay out of my head!" I manage to say I between sobs. He pushes me even harder against the wall, his body is practically holding my in place. He is very tall, taller than I remember. He's warm, it's almost welcoming concidering I didn't realize how cold I was till this moment. My body is to weak to fight back and to weak to try and get into his head again.

"I would. If you would stop talking to me to me in my head!" He was trying so hard to control his anger. Even more now than ever I can feel it just piercing through my skin and feel it in my bones, just oozing out of him and his anger grew by the second. "You have no right to be inside my head." But your in mine. His body tenses for a second and then he lets me go. I just slide down the wall back to my position of holding my legs close. Suddenly missing the warmth.

"And it's come in handy over the past few days" he continues. His back up against the farthest wall. I hate the way his voice sounds in that mask. "Once I realized you could hear me and I felt that you knew I was there. I was able to tap into your mind and see where you were. It wasn't long till I got there. I should have guessed the old man would be at a Jedi temple. But I needed you alive and I couldn't have you going to warn that sulky old man about me invading your head. I waited till you were far away from him. But then you pushed back. Trying to get into my head from where you were and it opened you to a very vulnerable state and I was able to knock you unconscious from my head. Your so weak, like a child." He paused and took a step closer. He squatted down in front of me.

 _Stop! Stop!_

I can't see him but I feel him searching my memories as he talks. I don't even try to block him out this time. I'm going to be dead soon anyways. I squeeze my eyes harder and squeeze my legs closer to me lowering my head as low as I could into my stomach.

He stood right back up and stared at me from above. He continued "It worked out better than I expected. I actually couldn't believe he was there. I knew you were on your way up the stairs. It's a strange thing, being able to feel your presence more so than anyone I have ever met." I didn't asked for any of this. " I kept him alive long enough to have you coming back to him. Just so you could look into his dying eyes. From behind you I stopped his heart. Dark side has power you can't fathom. You should of seen the look on his face when he saw me. I didn't even allow him to speak before I wiped him out cold. His power is no match to kind. Well, was no match."

The sobbing continued, I was crying so hard I swear my eyes were going to pop out. Why is he telling me this. I already know Luke was dead, I didn't need to know how it happened.

 _Why me? Why spare me?_

I look up at him through my eyelashes. He turns around and opens the door with a wave of his hand. He looks over his shoulder for just a second at me, staring into my soul again no doubt.

'Because the Emperor wants me to kill you in front him'

His voice sternly says in my mind. Sending a wave of fear though my body. Then he's gone in the blink of an eye. The door shuts and I'm all alone again. I cry for Luke, for Han, for Finn. I cry because I'm even more lonely now than I was ever on Jakku.

 _Maybe death would be welcoming. Then I wouldn't have to be alone anymore._

No response.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Sides

I didn't dream that night. I'm not even sure I had actually slept at all until I opened my eyes and there was a small glass of water next to me. Strange, I'm sure other prisoners don't get water. I wonder who even brought this to me. It's a welcoming taste though, I savor every last drop allowing my mind to soak it in. I'm so weak, defiantly to weak to try and escape. Kylo Ren would just kill me if I did, right in the hallway.

 _You would probably make my head explode if I try and escape._

'Intriguing thought but I have better ways than to explode body parts. I want to look into your eyes'

 _That is the most disturbing thing i'v ever heard. Nothing like having your executioner being able to hear your thoughts. Monster._

I stand up and start walking in circles to try and pass time. I have no idea what time it is or how long iv been here come to think of it. Maybe I can ask the man himself, I have a direct line. I chuckle alittle, am I actually going to try and talk to him. He signed my death certificate. He's going to kill me.

 _How long have I been here?_

'I'm trying to work'

 _Please._

'2 days. I'm actually surprised you have survived this long.'

I feel his anger course through the me.

 _Your mad I'm alive_

'I'm mad Snoke has not allowed me to kill you yet, your repulsive'

I shiver. He's just mad I beat him up. Most men see me as a weak scavenger girl but I have killed a few men who tried to take my rations. They were not men because men would not try to take from a young girl. My staff became my protector, I took pride in knowing how to wield it just right to take someone out in two hits. Who knew a lightsaber would some day become my protector. I notice the cut down on my hand still wrapped in the material from Luke. And the tears start again, i decide that unwrapping my hand so I can hold the cloth closer to me might make me feel better. So I can feel close to Luke again. But something catches my eyes, under the cloth the cut seems to have grown, infected no doubt. Oozing a yellow liquid, the cloth must of been keeping this all in. It's really gross, causing me to start to spin. I need to mediate.

I know it's the only thing I have left to do now. I should of thought of this sooner but I'm still so new at this. I find sit dead center of the room and fold my legs and try and meditate, like a lotus flower. Something else I have never seen in person, only a brief hologram image one day when Plutt was doing some trading. It was captivating, beautiful.

My hand started to throb, horrible throb that started to tingle up my arm as the hours passed. I was trying to draw strength from my inner self to take my mind off the pain but I was still weak. I have not eaten in 3 days. I'm use to hunger but with nothing else to do I can't stop thinking about it. I just need sleep.

"Rey?" And then a slight push on my shoulder. "Rey?" I actually fell asleep and someone is waking me up. I slowly pry my eyes open to see no other than Kylo Ren and I shut them again. To weak and cold.

"Is it time to die?" I scowl.

"No, but I think your hand is infected" I felt a sudden warmth around my wrist. It engulfed my tiny hand and I welcomed the warmth. I open my eyes back up to see Kylo holding my wrist with his gloved hands and inspecting my wound.

"Let go of me" i try and pull my arm back but I'm so weak that I doubt it making a dent in his grip around my wrist.

 _Monster_

"You need this cleaned" he says through his mask. "Get up"

"Why won't you let me just die here from infection?" I say with as much effort as I could.

"I envy that you want to die, but now is not time time. Like I said, I have plans for you." He said. he lets my arm fall back on the ground and got up in the blink of an eye and stands by the door. I stumble to my feet as I felt his eyes just burning into my skin.

 _Enjoying the view?_

'Not in the slightest'

He turns and opens the door a wave of his hand. "I doubt you will have the strength the run, so im not restraining you, but just know if you do try anything..." He turns towards me. "I'll make your head explode". For some reason I felt he was smiling as he said that and it made my stomach knot. We made our way down the hall towards what appeared to me more and more halls. Im falling far behind him, he defiantly doesnt care that I have trouble keeping his pace. It took a lot more effort to walk than I thought, fearing I'll collapse at any minute.

 _How does anyone know where they are going in this place? Wherever we are._

No answer. He probably doesnt want me to find my way around. Surprisingly we avoid every stormtropper until we come to the stop in front of a medical wing.

"JC-2010 will be watching you. Hes one of my best officers so dont try anything" he says coldly behind his mask. Suddenly a silver Stormtropper comes from behind another door down the hallway and starts walking in our direction.

"Sir, we are all clear" the Stormtropper announces.

"Make sure she gets the best care. Supreme Leader is expecting her soon. In one piece", he glances down at me and does a once over my body then looks back at the Stormtropper. "And clean." He turned around and stopped for a second before leaving without even looking back i could feel him sensing my feelings of being scared.

'Space. I had to make sure there was nowhere you could run'

And he stormed off.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Undone

The medical bay is actually like a dream. A last meal before death I think of it as. There were only medical droids and JC-2010, he seemed friendly enough. He didnt talk which is why I found him friendly. He stood at his post in the corner of the room. One less person to talk down to me. I frown, I never thought i would feel so little in the universe. Now a prisoner of the First Order being sent to her death in a matter of hours or days. How ever long they felt it was necessary to keep me here. But when i walked into the fresher i wasnt expecting a floor length mirror to cover a whole wall allowing me to get the first glimpse of myself since... since.. i cant even remeber anymore. My face is noticeably thinner, my petite frame even more petite. Almost like a walking skeleton with skin, its unsettling. The rest of the bathroom was genuinely normal. Besides the shower was behind two large glass doors. The shower itself was almost the size of my cell, this is to big to be a normal medical bay fresher but I dont care. I quickly pull off my blood stained clothes and refuse to look at myself again in the mirror. I dont know who that girl is anymore.

The shower was like a warm blanket on a cold night. I allow the water to just flow down my body and soak into my skin. I take my time washing my hair and scrubbing my scalp. Avoiding the cut on the back of my head which seemed to be closed up but i dont need to reopen it. I showered for as long as I wanted for the first time in my life. I allowed myself to relax for a few minutes. Slouching my shoulders and rolling my head to stretch my muscles. Just letting the water slide down my skin.

A knock on the door startled me, almost causing me to loose footing a slip. A droid entered carring a pile of new clothes. It was hard to see in the steamed up bathroom.

"Miss, these are for you. fresh undergarments and a change of clothes. Your others are to be incinerated immediately." She sets them next to the sink and retreats with my old clothes. I take this as a cue to get out. Slowly i dry off my body. Examining my hand, it looks worse but thats the least of my worries. I thought this was the med bay, i thought thats what we were coming here to have checked. I dont know why thought, Ill be dead soon anyways. After i dress in what seems to be a perfect black fitted leggings and black shirt with wraps for the arms. The underwear was the best touch. soft against my freshly soft skin. Iv never worn anything so nice. I shake my head. I finish getting dressed. I was also provided with a new pair of boots, perfect fit no doubt.

 _Nice enough to be buried in. How are you going to kill me? Will it be fast? Please, i cant take this anymore._

Silence. I dont know why I am trying so hard to make a connection, I dont know why I asked those questions. They popped in my head before i even thought about them.

'Do you really want to know?'

The voice makes me feel unsettled. Tears swell in my eyes.

 _I dont know why I asked that. No, I dont want to know. Just make it quick. Thats all i ask, you've stretched out my suffering long enough dont you think?"_

I cringe. Sudden feeling of guilt washes over me. His guilt? No, my own for allowing myself to think he could care enough to give me a dignified fast death. As soon as i feel it, its gone.

'Are you suffering now? Is the med bay not better than your cell? I can have JC-2010 to walk you back?'

 _Nooo! Im sorry. This is better than my cell. At least i can see the death slowly eating me away clearly in the mirror._ I squeeze my eyes. Tears falling onto my new shirt. Im going to die soon.

'Eat Rey'

And then I dont feel him anymore, roaming my mind. The only thing im suppose to have to keep me sane. Its not even safe. I peak out of the fresher and see a small bowl and a plate with a red meat cut into small cubes sitting on a table near a window overlooking the stars. It smells mouthwatering. Quickly i dash to the chair and sit down and just gaze at what looks to be the best meal in the universe right now. I eat so fast i didnt even taste the food but my stomach wasn't screaming at me anymore and i felt some color come back to my cheeks. i sighed and got up to look out the window. Loosing myself in the passing stars and planets. Its actually beautiful up here. The lights twinkle in all colors, like a song.

"Beautiful isnt it?" The voice came from behind me, startling me I jumped and turned around to see Kylo glaring at me behind his mask. Head slightly cocked to one side. I didnt even hear him come in. Taking in a deep breath I tense. He dismisses the Stormtropper and the droids and turns back towards me.

 _Are you going to kill me now?_ My eyes start to water.

"No Im not", he answer back. But out loud and it catches me off guard. I felt his whole body relax. He withdraws his hands from behind his back, allowing his cloak to shift and I see the hilt of his lightsaber and catch myself glaring at it. He reaches up and removes his helmet. For the first time since he kidnapped me from Ach'To, I see his face. His features are just as stunning as I remember. His dark hair laying perfectly around his face, his masculine but beautiful features. His full lips and dark eyes, truly if this man wasnt a murderer I could look at him all day. But my eyes are drawn to the large scar the stretches from the forehead across his right cheek. The scar I gave him. I catch myself gasp and turn and face back out the window. Until now I only thought of him as that mask. Trying to forget the face behind it. The murderer he is.

"Do you want me to put it back on?" he questions me. I shake my head but dont turn around. I hear the loud thud of him setting his helmet on the table and then his footsteps draw near. "I thought it be more comfortable like this. Easier to see." He sounds almost genuine. "You look... better. Please, let me see your hand." He's close, i feel his body heat on my back. Slowly i turn and hes nearly inches away. Taking off his right glove he reaches down and grabs my hand and examins it carefully. I close my eyes, out of habit now, afraid hes going do something painful. He is suppose to end my life at some point in the near future.

'I'm not going to hurt you'

I open my eyes back up and he looks almost sorry as he is looking at my hand. Does he know I fell when he startled my mediation. He basically caused it, but i doubt he knows that. Maybe he does, he was in my head. He removes his other glove and sets it on the window ledge behind me.

'Trust me'

 _Okay._

His skin burns against mine only in the way of comfort. Its soothing and his hands are soft against my freshly clean skin. His fingers are long and his hand is wide.

 _No wonder you have a better grip on your lightsaber than me. My hand is so little._

My hand look so small in the plam of his hand, im anticipating anything to happen. Im not scared, Im nervous.

"That may be one of the reasons." He lets out small chuckle. "This isn't as bad as it looks. Though you did a sloppy job of keeping it clean. I guess thats my fault though"

I dont say anything, Im just staring at him with my eyes as wide as i think they can go. Did the King of Rens just chuckle?

 _Why are you helping me now?_

"Rey. I know that you think of me as some monster. And I am. But honestly, you looked horrible and I couldnt allow you to just in that filth anymore. Supreme Leader would not be pleased at how our guest is being treated."

Im so stunned I cant move. Hes like two different people. One behind the mask and the one without it. Both i find intimidating. I dare not say anything because I dont want to go back to that cell. I rather walk strait to my death. I try and retract my hand, Im starting to get scared that Im being tricked and hes going to kill me right here and now. He glasps my tiny hand in between his two large hands and pulls it back a little.

"Don't move" He says quietly.

He closes his eyes and a small tingle emerges in my hand. It doesnt hurt, it actually feels like a refreshing cool wave emerse my palm. The feeling travels up my wrist to my elbow. Its so calming, I close my eyes, relax my body, and just enjoy the sensation. I can feel the force being drawn in around him. And as fast as the sensation was there is was gone and he was stepping back and dropping my hand. I snapped my eyes open and look right at my hand and nothing but confusion filled me.

"Its gone. What did you do? Its gone!" I almost catch a hint of joy in my own voice but I know its just shock. Why didnt he do this to my head when he nearly let me bleed to death bringing me here.

Hes already putting his gloves back on while I carefully examine my hand. He looks at me and hes actually smiling. He turns towards me about to put his helmet back on but pauses.

"Not all things on the dark side are bad." And just like that his helmet is back on and it hisses shut. "JC-2010 will take you to your new headquarters on the outer deck of the ship" his mechanical voice says. "Don't try anything funny, I know what your doing at all times."

'All times'

And just like that hes gone and JC-2010 enters. "This way Ma'am."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Stars

We stop outside a door on the farthest point on the ship, it took awhile to get here. I can only imagine what lies behind this door. A smaller cell? I let out a long sigh and JC-2010 opens the door with a series of combinations. Nothing that wouldnt take long to remember. And the large door separates and opens to a large white room, dimly lit, almost elegantly. I walk inside and my mouth fell open. With a table and two chairs, a door that im sure is the fresher, a large white bed that looked like a fluffy cloud, a wall size bookshelf full of all different shapes, colors, and sizes of books. I can only imagine what dark tales they tell, but there was nothing about this room that seamed dark. It was beautiful. The most breathtaking thing was the wall of windows next to the bed that overlooked the stars. From here you cant see any other part of the ship, I can only guess its a Resurgent-Class Star Destroyer. What other thing would the King of Rens travel on. I have never the stars look so bright.

"Ren prefers you stay in here at all times" JC-2010 says, startling me. "I will be right outside if you need anything, press this button", He point to a black button on the wall near the door. He tuned and left, the door sliding shut close behind him. My attention falls back to the large wall length windows. I walk strait to them and press my forehead against the cool glass and close my eyes.

 _Why am I here? Why are you tormenting me?_

I wait for a response but I know he wont answer. I feel foolish being here. Dressed in all black, in an all white room. I make my way to sit in the chair to take my boots off. Im so tired and confused. Maybe some sleep will get me well enough to find a way out of here. Then it dawns on me, thats how Kylo Ren healed so fast after our fight in the forest. He had healing ability. I didnt even know that was a thing. There is so much I wanted to learn before I died and now I will never have the chance. Why didnt his scar go away then? I refuse to sit here and think about him. I make my way to the bed and climb under the covers. Its heaven, it is so soft I sink right in and just let the warmth swell me. Iv never had a bed before. Even if its from the enemy, comfort like this was never really an option for me. I slept in the sand for most my life. Beds this soft were just rumors back on Jakku.

 _Thank you._

'Your welcome, now sleep'

And I let sleep overtake me almost like it was pushed through my body.

 **** Authors notes: I just want to thank everyone who has read my story so far, and its just getting started. I just did a short chapter just to give a shot out to everyone. I will write this story hopefully a chapter or so everyday. depends on how much time i have between my little ones :) Send some reviews and let me know what you guys think so far! ****


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Panic

I have no idea what time it is when I finally wake up. I feel like I have been sleeping for days. I also feel like I could sleep for a few more days. My hair is all over the place, tickling my face and neck, I let out a childlike giggle. Im so comfortable and warm, I never want to get out of this bed. But reality set in and I feel like im being watched. I shoot strait up clutching my chest and my heart starts races then stops. There he is, sitting at the table leaned back with his ankle hooked up on his knee and his elbow on the table, his hand supporting the side of his head. There he is, in this white room, helmet off, all black clothes, and just watching me.

"I was wondering when you would finally wake up." He says without taking his eyes off me. My heart feels like its going to jump out my chest, he could of killed me in my sleep. "You looked very comfortable. I didnt want to wake you."

"Why are you here?" I glare.

"Hows your hand? Does it bother you at all?" He sits up from the table and makes his way over to the edge of the bed and sits down. Instinctively I move to the farthest side of the bed. Clutching the blanket to my chest, like some form of shield. "Stop acting like im going to hurt you all the time Rey. Like I said, I have plans for you." He motions me to give him my hand.

"How can I trust a man who keeps telling me he is going to tell me when his Master gives him the thumbs up. Going to drive a saber through her heart!? You plan on killing me. You killed your own father in front of me, you killed Luke in front of me! You put me in that cell for 3 days reminding me your going to kill me and then all the sudden you have a change of monster heart and what, show me pity? You should of left me in that cell to die. Instead im living in fear every second your around that your going to just kill me and your sick mind is torturing me by allowing me these things" Motioning my hand to the room, the tears start and i squeeze the blanket closer.

 _Im_ _terrified_

He sat there motionless and just looked at me. There is the man with the mask and then there is this man, without his mask.

"COME HERE!" He growled. I felt his anger rush through me.

 _Masked Kylo is back_

He didnt like that comment very much, i dont even know how he did it but he pulled me to him and grabbed my wrist. Force Rey, duhh. I forget about it once in awhile. I havent even accessed mine yet. All i know is i can heighten my senses mediating. I dont think i can even lift a pebble yet. I havent had the chance to try.

 _Ouuch, Bastard._

"Dont you ever listen. No wonder you were abandoned you on Jakku." He snapped. My eyes start watering and he doesnt bother looking at me and examines my hand. "The infection is gone too, like it never happened. Your lucky I caught it when I did. I felt your worry when you saw it. I came to look, I figured you were overreacting but when I saw you in there I thought you could use... some necessities. Master would be angry if you were being mistreated." He dropped my hand and retreated to grab his helmet. "This is were you will stay the remainder of the time you are here. If you try to escape I will find you. Your weak, you dont know how much control I have over you. I can hear your heartbeat from light years away. It be foolish to think you can outrun me." With a loud hiss he puts his mask on and stormed off. Leaving me just crying on the bed.

 _YOU NEVER ANSWERED ME. WHY AM I HERE? YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO PERSONALLY KILL ME!_ I scream in my head and ball up my fists. I have no idea what is going on here. _JUST DO IT OR LET ME GO!_

'If you dont change your tone with me I will personally come in there and make you. Scavenger.'

I scream into my pillow as loud as I can and just sob. After awhile I pull myself together and decide to mediate in front of the window. Watching all the passing stars and planets. I sit down in my favorite lotus position and find my center balance. If im weak then I will build up enough strength to leave this place before they kill me. I have no choice. Its just a matter of time. I try and find Kylo with my mind, feel where on the ship he could be. If he could sense me I must be able to sense him.

 _I wonder if everyone force-user can do this._

'No. Now stop trying to find me. I am very well trained. You cant access that part of my mind. I am a ghost to you. Which makes me twice as dangerous.'

I scowl.

 _Why can you hear me? Why can I talk to you?_

'Red book, top shelf. Now leave me alone. Its worse when you are directly thinking about me or trying to talk to me'

My trance is broken and I immediately go and look for this mysterious red book. It wasnt hard to find. Only red book on the top shelf. I had to actually use a chair to reach it. Pulling the book out I stand there shaking while my fingers run over the gold detailed lettering. FORCE BOND. Quickly I scramble to the bed and open the book to the first page and take a deep breath.

 **-Force Bond:** Common to occur between Jedi Masters and their apprentices, a Force bond is a link through which two Force-sensitives could influence each other. It allowed the communication of feelings, thoughts and images across distances and granted greater coordination in battle. Through such connections the Force easily flowed, sometimes allowing one's will to bolster the strengths of the other, or possibly to draw upon their strengths. Force bonding refers to the innate Force ability to form connections in the Force. The degree to which that was possible varied depending on the Force-sensitivity of the people involved, meaning that the stronger they were in the Force, the stronger the connection would be. While most life had a marginal ability to form connections, some were said to have a special predisposition to it.-

Without wanting to, i flipped to the next page. My tears falling on the pages of the old book. I dont know if I can read anymore without throwing up.

-"A bond between two living beings is not something easily broken. It not a choice… it is like breaking a feeling. Like turning away from the Force. To break a bond, your feelings would have to change, or one of you would have to die—but even then, the bond wouldn't go away, it would simply… it would simply be empty, a wound." Master Zez-Kai El-

I drop the book into my lap and put my hands on the sides of my head. Force bond? To Kylo Ren? No. No. No. I feel the anger rage inside me, all the anger from the moment I saw Luke laying on the ground, to every moment Kylo Ren allowed me to live on the same ship as me and keep this secret from me. I refuse to sit here any longer. I throw the book across the room.

'Calm down Rey."

 _Why didnt you tell me?_

'Calm down'

 _Your going to regret this. You should of killed me when you had the chance. I will train with you. NEVER._

'You know im going to get there before you have a chance to leave that room'

 _Watch me._

Without thinking I dashed over and pressed the black button on the wall calling JC-2010 into the room. The door opened right away and the shiny Stormtrooper stepped in. "What can I help...", before he finished his sentence I stuck out my arm and with a power I didnt know I had I flung him out the door against the wall of the hallway. I ran, as fast as I could, I ran. I made it to small corridor before I felt the darkness seep under my skin. I had nowhere to hide, who was i kidding. If Kylo Ren could hear my heartbeat from across the universe, he would obviously find me if i was hiding in a storage closet. There is no point. I turned around to meet my fate. I could feel his anger, disappointment, and rage. He was standing at the end of the hallway, lightsaber ignited ready to charge.

"GO AHEAD, DO IT!" I sank to my knees. Willingly giving myself to death. I have no way to defend myself against him, hes right. Hes much stronger than me.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO RUN!" His words were spread out so i can tell he had been running. His shoulders heaving up and down like the rolling waves of an ocean. He turned his lightsaber off and stalked towards me. Like a predator to its pray. "You disrespected a direct order." He was closing the gap between us quickly. Raising his hand he throws me into the wall. Holding me there. His other hand in a tight closed fist.

 _Are you keeping me alive because if you kill me it weakens you? I never asked for this!_

"Yes, When I found out about the force bond I went strait to the Supreme Leader. He told me that you can be of great value and maybe killing you wasnt the best idea."

'I saved your pathetic life'

"When did you tell him?" I say between sobs.

"Before I found you with the old man. After that I was givin strict orders to bring you here. Alive. Finish you off in front of the Supreme Leader since he sees you as my biggest weakness. The Scavenger that got away." He is talking through his teeth. I feel his hatred towards, filling the air i breath, choking me. "But the more I realized how strong the bond was. The more valuable you became."

He pushes me even harder against the wall. Slowly crushing my ribs. I let out a scream and tremble under the pressure. "So im a prisoner until you no longer feel this... bond?" I manage to say. Trying my hardest to focus on my breathing.

 _Hes going to kill me. Right here._ My head throbs.

He lets me go and steps back and I sag to the floor gasping for air.

"I have been given permission to bring on an apprentice. And..." He pauses and looks down each end of the hall and looks back at me. Im suprised no one has seen us. I dont even know where on the ship we are. He raises he arms and takes his helmet off and drops it on the floor next to me. Its so heavy. Im still staring at the ground on all fours trying to find more air to fill my lungs. " And I want to train you. I showed you last night, not all the dark is bad. There are amazing things I can teach you. You dont realize how strong you can be. With our bond, we would be. Unstoppable." Hes angry. He doesnt like that I dont see the advantages like he does.

I cant believe this. _Die or Join Kylo Ren? Those are my options._

'Exactly'

"Those traiter, theives, murders you call friends? They cant help you the same way I can. Your power is so raw. Untrained yes, but raw. Did you see what you did, when you TRIED to leave" he takes knee next to me whispers in my ear. "You could be unstopable. Have whatever you want. I know you want to know what it feels like to have control, and I can show you."

I raise my head and meet his gaze, hes close...to close. Hes staring into my soul. But this time with his eyes. Not hidden behind some mask.

"Think about it. If you say no I will be forced to kill you" And then everything went black.

 **** Girlwith100names: I appriciate the review! My very first review! thank you! There will be plenty of both, dont worry. I love the more dominant Kylo too. But who doesnt love a flicker of sensative once in awhile. Im just getting started, i have a long story to tell. :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Choices

Im running through the meadow again. Its even more beautiful this time. There are more flowers in bloom and not a single cloud in the sky. The sun is a welcome feeling and I let the rays warm my skin and I start spinning circles again, my arms stretched out as far as the can go. Laughing and smiling. Forgetting everything else and focusing on this moment. If this isnt the afterlife, this is the best dream there is. Im wearing the same silk dress that hugs my hips but flows just right legs. I just want to stay hear forever but I know I will wake up eventually.

 _Ill enjoy this while I can_

I hug myself again just because in this moment, I love myself. I love being here and smelling the flowers that sway in the wind. The way the tall grass tickles my hands when I skim the tops. I feel alive. But all is short lived when I notice a shadow in the distance. Tall, fists clenched, masked, and angry. Very angry.

 _Kylo?_

I shoot up strait in bed, sweating and heaving. Cold shivers sprinkle up my spine. But i can feel im alone atleast. My head is pounding and I have no idea what time it is but im back in the white room. Did he carry me back? Probably had a Stormtrooper drag me by my hair. Maybe a shower will help, thankful for the fresher in this room, im able to wash the grim away. Why is Kylo in my dreams? Why cant he just leave me alone? The it hits be like a stun gun. Join him or die.

Those are not very promising options. He is a murderer, a monster, leader of the Knights of Ren. Hes only using me for power. Me, a scavenger. He says it himself, that all I am. I just finish with my shower and putting on a new set of perfectly fitting black clothes when the door opens.

"Breakfast ma'am", the droid sets down the hot plate of food and retreats. I get a quick glance at the guard outside the door, this one wears all silver too. But his frame is different. I close my eyes and concentrate.

 _Where is JC-2010?_

'Disposed. He didnt do his job properly'

I was shocked by the quickness of his answer. He usually ignores me, or maybe he cant hear me.

 _You didnt kill him did you? Please tell me you didnt kill him? He wouldnt of been able to stop me. Its not his fault._

'He was not to open the door for you, under no condition.'

I dont respond. This is rediuclas, being locked in this white room in black clothes. It should the other way around! The door opens and in steps Kylo. He is very broad, dark mass, towering over me.

 _He could snap my neck without the force if he wanted to._

'I could'

"Ugh, stay out!" I glare at him. "What makes you think I could be of help to you? Plus you are a murderer! 5You say the force calls us together. You haunt my dreams. You tell me that we are bonded. But I dont feel that. I cant read all your thoughts. I cant access your mind. I only feel certain emotions from you. Mostly hate and anger. You are such an angry sad boy! I rather die. So no i wont..." Before i could get another word out im thrown across the room, sliding on the floor and just coming to a stop in front of the windows.

"You act like I hand picked you for this. I dont want this bond either. Specially with a scavenger like you! Your a silly dumb girl." Hes towering over me and I lay on the floor. I go to get up and maybe get some distance from him but he freezes me on the floor. "You. Your a nobody and will always be a nobody. I offer to train you, give you guidance no one else can offer you, no one better than me. And your saying no? You rather die by my hand than allow it to show you the way to the force? You dont realize what your giving up." Suddenly he removes his mask and throws it on the bed with a soft thud and lowers himself to be close to my face. "I feel your fear. Your always so afraid. Specially of me and you should be. I can get into your mind and see everything. You wont be able to block me from it till i show you how."

He stands up and steps back a little bit and unfreezes me allowing me to stand up. He continues, "You really want to give up everything i have to offer to die an unheroic death. No one will even remember your name."

"You will, you will be left with a hole, deep down you will always feel like something should be there." I say. Trying to remember everything I read the day before.

He walked over and leaned real close, "If anger and pain fuel me, what do you think emptiness will do? It will make me even stronger. An endless supply of power." He backs away to retrieve his helmet from the bed.

"Ill do it." I whisper.

 _What do I have to loose. Your right, no one even knows i exist._

'I do'

He puts his helmet back on, raises his hood and leaves.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Order

What did I just do? I sink to my knees. I just agreed to train with the enemy. The man who killed people I grew to care about, by his own hand. I should of just allowed him to kill me too. This is insane, one minute hes telling me im his biggest weakness and now he makes it sounds like im his biggest asset. Luke would be so dissapointed in me, so would all my friends. I miss everyone so much. Finn, the only person who has ever come back for me and I dont even know how hes doing. I cry, pulling myself in and just cry. Does the resistance even know Lukes dead. By the hands of none other than his nephew. I cant even try to run because there is nowhere I could go. Kylo is much stronger than I remember, it was easy to fight him coming into my mind before. I accessed his because he was shocked and let his guard down. But now I see that isnt going to work anymore.

He can hear what im thinking anyways but sometimes I can feel him push harder to find the answer hes looking for. Im sure he doesnt like what he sees. I bet many people dont dare defy him but we have this stupid force bond and i cant seem to hide anything from him. Hunger overwhelms me and I force myself to eat the food the droid brought. A bowl of some sort of grain and a small red fruit. I have never seen something so mouthwatering. Examining the fruit for a minute before I take a small bite, i'm anxious of the taste and my taste buds pucker up and my face cringes. Its so sweet but delicious. I take my time with everything, just taking it slowly. I have never had the chance to enjoy food, it was a luxury back home.

I allow myself to open my mind, I feel him in the back trying to figure out why I am eating so slow. Its unsettling, the feeling of someone else watching your life through your eyes. Even more unsettling is that its Kylo Ren. King of Darkness. So i show him.

 _I sometimes went so long without food my body would shut down. I would come in and out of conciousness. Till I could finally dragged myself to Plutt, begging him for just a quater ration to have enough energy to go out and scavange. Only a few times I have allowed myself to beg for something, but only because it was a dire need to survive. And I had to survive, my family was going to come back for me someday._

Sitting in front of this empty bowl and just staring into the bottom I just wonder,

 _What is going to become of me?_

Will I let him kill me during training and just act like its an accident or like he said, Im weak. Or I could use everything he shows me against him and maybe escape.

'Be ready in 10'

Of course, I open up alittle and he ignored it. Though he was basically prying it from my mind anyways. This is infuriating. Why does he have so much control over me! I go into the bathroom and fix my hair into my favorite three buns. I hate looking at myself in the mirror, my face still unnaturally thin looking. A reminder of the past week in this place. Going from a closet size cell to this room. I still actually dont understand the point of this room. Was it just to toy with me? I didnt know rooms like this were allowed for the First Order. Pretty sure these cold blooded monsters sleep on mats on the floor. Or the should. I wonder if there are any other rooms like this on the ship and who they belong to. Isnt black the customary First order color? I sit in the chair just waiting for Kylo to come get me. I wonder what he thinks he can teach me, after all he thinks im a child. Though im not. I survived very well on my own for 15 years without the force. It was just that though, surviving. Never living. I never got the chance to live.

The door slides open with a very low swish, and he steps in and the door closes behind him. His head quickly scans the room till he spot me at the table. He looks strait at me and then stalks over to the bed and picks up the red book, I didnt notice it was still on the bed. I cant read him though. The mask always intimidates me, I rather see his face. I stand up back up to the farthest wall. He shakes his head and then slowly starts levitating the book in his hand, just inchs above his gloves. With the slow twist of his hand the book makes it was back to the spot on the shelf. A perfect fit in the opening it left behind. My eyes are wide and my heart racing. He turns around and straitens himself making himself look even taller.

"You will refer to me as Master. Nothing else. I am not your equal. You are only alive because Im allowing you to be. You will do as I say." His voice is harsh, even through the mask, it gives me goosebumps. "You will not disobey a direct order or you will be punished. And I promise you, you WILL beg for me to stop. When we are not training you will be confined to this room. If you try and escape again you will be punished. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are served to you here, you will be getting a well balanced diet. I also dont want you trying to pry into my mind. It makes me very angry, and also goes against a direct order. Its bad enough I can hear your thoughts. You will watch your mouth, I do not like being questioned. Many have died at my hands for alot less than that. You will not talk to anyone on this ship but me unless I tell you otherwise."

He is standing just a few feet away. Glaring down at me through his protector of a mask. "Do. You. Understand." He hissed. His stance was strong, hands behind his back, and feet slightly parted. Just staring at me.

"Yes... Master" I lower my head and just look into my hands that are clasped together in front of me. Palms sweaty.

"Good. Follow me."

Once again avoiding any Stormtroppers, we make our way down a serious of long hallways. His long legs move much faster than me and I am almost spriting to keep up with him. Till we reach a corridor with walls as black as night. Dimly lit with small red lights running along the floor almost forming an arrow pointing in the direction of a very large door. It was surrounded by thin bright red lamps that outlined the frame of the door. It stood taller than Kylo. I glance at him wondering what this place could possibly be. It sends a shiver up my spine. Just when I think he is about to open the mysterious door he turns and looks down to me.

"Supreme Leader is expecting us. You will not speak unless spoken to. He doesnt take kindly to insubordinate behavior. Mind you thoughts, he can read you without even looking at you. You will refur to him as Supreme Leader, and when you get to the top of the steps, you must kneal. He does not have patience like I do."

 _You have patience? I doubt that._ I almost let out a laugh. But manage to swallow it in my throat.

He didnt think that was funny, he turned abruptly to face the door and with the wave of his hand the door slides open. We step inside and I catch myself in awe. The room was grand, an isle just wide enough for us to stand side by side on leads from the door to what seems to be a small platform on top of a few stairs. In front of what seemed to be a... a throne? The throne reaches from the top of the platform to almost the ceiling. My eyes are focused on the huge monument and everywhere else all at once. Trying to take in everything.

 _You have to be kidding me._

Around us are rows and rows of seats that are lower to the ground than the platform. I already feel nauseas. I cant tell if Kylo is enjoying this or terrified, his emotions are all over the place. The room is dark enough that I cant tell exactly how large it might be. Its overwhelming. I cant make my feet move, I actually am frigtened by whatever im about to see. I have never seen what Snoke looks like and the images I have put into my mind might not do justice now. Kylo places his hand on the small of my back and pushes me forward up the isle till we reach the stairs. He shoots me a quick glance and motions for me to walk up to the platform. Once im up even a few steps my knees start to shake but Kylo quickly catches on and pushes me forward. Standing to my left I can feel his body tighten up, his breathing became ridged, and his shoulders squared.

'Kneal'

Taking a quick look around me, i reluctanly kneal next to Kylo and look down at the floor. Just waiting.

"Kylo Ren, You have done well. I am pleased to see the girl still alive while I had other things that needed my attention." Snoke announced. His voice echos through the room like thunder. I dont dare look up, frightened of what I might see.

'Stay down'

"Yes my Supreme Leader. I have done as you asked and brought the scavenger to you. She has agreed to allow me to train her and understands if she refuses to come to the dark side, I will kill her myself." His voice strong and proud. "But I think she will be of great value in the rebuilding of the First Order my lord."

"Stand up girl, let me see you" Snoke hisses. I slowly pry my knees from the ground. Trembling I raise my head and am looking in the eyes of the most evil being alive. His alien form towers over me, his features are sunken in, hollowing out almost half his face. He is very disfigured, his skin as grey as death. His grey eyes never leave mine. And for a moment im glad he is only a hologram because in his real form he would leave me weaping. Fear over takes me and sweat starts forming a thin coat on my body. Making this already tight outfit, feel even tighter.

"It is where you are from. What you are made of. The dark side—and the light. The finest sculptor cannot fashion a masterpiece from poor materials. He must have something pure, something strong, something unbreakable, with which to work." Snoke says. But I know hes talking to Kylo. "This bond you speak of. Do you feel it girl?"

"Im not sure. I feel something though. Something that wasnt there a few weeks ago Supreme Leader", I can hear the tremble in my voice. I look down at my hands and fiddle with my fingers. I thought when saw this man it was going to be for my execution, not to become an apprentice to Kylo Ren.

"I see." He leans back in this chair and turns his attention back to Kylo who was still standing motionless to my left. "You have my permission to train this girl, but if she seems to be more of a problem than an asset you will bring her to me in person and I will dispose of her. Do you understand?" He snips.

"Yes my lord." He nods and goes to turn around.

"I hope for you sake, Girl, that you become valuable. Id hate to dispose of such a pretty face in an unpleasent way. Do you understand what you are accepting?"

"Yes Sir" I whisper. Then hes gone and all thats left is the sound of my own heart about to pump out of my chest. Without a sound Kylo turns and stars walking back down the isle. I quickly follow trying not to trip over my own feet, my whole body feels like jello. I try and compose myself as much as I can. I dont want to cry here in this hallway of death. When the doors shut behind us I feel Kylos whole body relax. I refuse to die at the hand of that.. that... thing.

 _Please dont make me go back in there._ Im pleaing with him through my thoughts.

'Dont give me a reason'

Before long im back in my room, Kylo just lingers long enough to tell me we begin training tomorrow and just like that, Im alone again. I grab a chair and reach for the red book and decide I need to read more about this force bond. There has to be other ways to break it, or at least prevent it from getting stronger. I need to get out of here!

 ****Notes: Thank you for reading my long chapter, please leave reviews and let me know what you think so far. Im so happy with the way its coming along. I have so much planned for these two. Dont worry, there will be REYLO :) -SSL**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Emotions

I spent all night reading about Force Bonds, from front to back I read this stupid red book. And im more angry now than ever. I know now one of two things are going to happen to me. Number One, a force bond is between two people, usually an apprentice and their master. But it can also occur between soul-mates which is very rare but possible. In that case the only way to seal the bond is through becoming one.

 _Thats never going to happen._

Number Two, even in death their is no breaking a force bond and the longer we are around eachother the stronger it will get. Allowing our communication to strengthen while even farther apart. I hide myself under my covers hoping to maybe fall asleep, soon I find myself drifting off.

"There she is, the girl who got away", a voice said from across the room. I shoot up with no sense of time or how long I have been sleeping. Im surprised buy a tall red hair man standing inside the doorway. Nothing special about his features, hes normal looking it seems. Except hes dressed in a perfect fitted First Order General outfit. I recognize it from a First Order poster hanging in Unkar Plutts shop. The red haired mans eyes wont stop glaring at me from across the room. "I have heard alot about you. You caused quite the problem after you managed to... squeak by." He winced at his last words.

Im quickly to my feet and stand with my back against the window allowing it to cool my skin. Its refreshing to the touch.

 _Who let this man in my room?_

"I am General Hux, commander of this ship. I see you are comfortable here. Ren put you in one of the best rooms. Beautiful view huh?", hes talking as he makes his way towards me but just to stand and look out the window. He turns his head slightly to look at me, hes about arms length away but even thats to close.

"Kylo told me not to speak to anyone on this ship but him, I dont think he would be happy to know you are in here." I snap.

"I do not listen to REN! I listen to the Supreme Leader and he gave me no order to stay away from Rens... Pet. It took me awhile to find you actually. I thought you would still be rotting in the cell or better yet, dead. I recieved word that Ren escorted you to his personal med bay room and allowed you to clean up. I was shocked, he has never let anyone even enter that room before." He turned and looked back out the window giving me a chance to move farther away from him.

Why cant he hear me. _Kylo, what is General Hux doing in my room?_

"When I was finally able to track where you were on the ship, I waited till Ren left for a trip before approaching you. He isnt on the ship you know. He left you here, unguarded. Stupid mistake. You have caused me so many problems... Rey." he continued saying as he gazed out the window. Im about to make a run for it but from behind me I hear footsteps. Praying its Ren, even though I dont enjoy being around him, I knew he would at least protect me. I am his new apprentice after all. But instead im forced onto my knees with a sharp lightening pain to my back. "Stun gun, painful isnt it? Im surprised your still conscious actually. I know your powers are weak. I know all about you. Rey from Jakku, abandoned by your family at a young age, a scavenger with new ability to access the force, but with no knowledge of how to use it. Ren killed your new Master. Im surprised he completed the task actually. You were a nothing until you helped FN-2187 escape with the droid... which landed you here. Twice."

His words roll through my head but im so dizzy, tears rolling down my face, its taking all my strength to stay awake. Slowly the black starts surrounding my vision. General Hux comes to stand right in front of me. I lift my arm trying so hard to push the force out and push him away but Im to dizzy.

 _Help_

With a swift quick to my bottom jaw, everything blackens.

The first time I come around I can hear muffled voices coming from around me. I cant move my arms or legs. It feels like a chair I was locked in on the Starkiller. I cant open my eyes but i can move my head slowly from side to side. I let out a low moan which seems to catch someones attention.

"Shes awake sir."

"Knock her out"

And a sudden throb to the back of my head and the darkness surrounds me again.

The second time I come out of it I can hear alot more. The shuffling of people moving around me. I hear soft beeping in the distance and what sounds like the generals voice. "She is untrained but dangerous. Do not let her wake up. We havent reached our destination yet." I groan at the pain growing around my head.

 _Help me._

"Sir, she is awake again"

"Knock her out again"

And a sudden jolt to the other side of my head and the blackness swallows me.

The third time im woken by being let out of the restraints and grabbed forcefully from the chair. Another set of restraints are then clapsed on my hands in front of me. I try and fight back but I cant even open my eyes without seeing white spots everywhere.

"Arrgg, let me go" I demand.

"Not this time", General Hux voice says in my ear. Its hot, i can feel him breathing on my neck. "I have a surprise for you." He says and moves away. The hands squeeze my arms and drag me roughly forward. Still blinded by the annoying white dots in my eyes, I steady my breathing and focus on my surrounding. I can still feel where I am even if I cant see. Mediating has taught me that much. Its loud, there are people everywhere. Bustling around shoudler to shoulder crowded. I hear people arguing about prices in all different languages, prostitutes offering their services. People inside what seems to be a bar, they are fighting over a drink of some sort. The air is thick and polluted. Smells fowl here the air burning my lungs and I cant stop coughing and that makes the burning worse.

"What is this place?" I regret it as soon as I say it because breathing is setting my lungs on fire and talking made it worse.

"Courscant, where I believe you will spend the last few days of your miserable life you scavenger. I arranged for you to be handed over to the King of the underworld. You want to know what happens here?" He says and I feel him lean close to my ear again, the hotness of his breath makes me gag. "No one ever sees the sun again, its a myth to the underworld dwellers. The king is going to specially enjoy you." And Hux runs his fingers along my cheek, I pull away but the hands around my arms tighten. Slowly my vision is coming back, allowing me to make out the two white stormtroppers holding me still and see the other two in front of me. My eyes meet General Huxs gaze and hes grinning from ear to ear. "You will be long gone before Kylo Ren ever finds you. Once down here, its impossible to escape, unless your obviously of high power. Like me." He squares his shoulders and straitens his jacket. "This way, not far from here."

We make our way down the street packed full of people and my vision is almost perfect again. The sights I see are not a welcome one. Men grabbing women right off the street and throwing them into carts. Gagging them and restraining them, right in the street and no one is helping. I cant help but watch this poor woman fight for her life only a few feet in front of me.

"Help her! Someone help her" I scream but no one hears me, no one is going to listen to me. She has no chance and the thought makes me throw up but I quickly force it back down. Next thing I need is showing the General anymore weakness. We walk past her and everyone around is just bustling along their day acting like its not even happening. My thoughts trial to Kylo, why hasnt he come to get me. I thought with a force bond he was suppose to sense me from a galaxy away. Yet he hasnt even come looking for me. Was this his plan all along, allow me to be vulnerable and let General Hux kill me or sell me to some underground king. Sadness washes over me, this is it. Im walking to my execution, once again. The general turns down a dark long empty ally that leads to a large metal door at the end, covered in all different shades of red.

"Is that blood? Please tell me thats not blood!" Once in the middle of ally the stormtroppers let go and spread around me. One kicks the back of my knees sending me to the ground. Weapons drawn and pointing right at my head.

"ahhhhh," pain runs through my spine where they shocked me in my room. General Hux turns his attention to the large door and knocks 3 times. Each knock sending chills deeper through my body.

 _Im going to die here. Right here in this blood covered ally._

Unwelcome tears start flowing down my face. I wish Luke was here or Finn, someone who would save me from this doom. Im sitting on my knees, head bowed, hands bound in the very bottom of the bottom of the world. I think back to Kylos words, no one will even notice im gone. The door opens and my eyes shoots strait to a large maybe 9 feet tall creature that walks out gawking at me. Hes a fat wide thing with skin white as snow and wrinkly like the ripples in the sands back on Jakku. His face resembles that close to Unkar Plutt, hands the size of BB-8's round belly. He is a scary thing, wearing just a red cloth to cover the goods. He lets out a loud belly laugh. His eyes as red as fire, staring into my pale green eyes. I feel every ounce of blood run from my body and all I can do is scream silent screams because my lungs are still on fire.

"I brought you a present King Ja'fren. A girl that has been causing me some trouble on board my vessel. She needs to vanish and I know you are the man to do it. Dont worry,we didnt hurt her to much. She can still be of great satisfaction to you. I no doubt guess she is as pure as they come. I am sure she is of your liking?" Hux is just rambling on. King Ja'fren steps farther out the door and closes the gap between us in 3 heavy large steps. Each one making me bounce alittle off the ground. Hes just looking at me like im the most valuable gem.

"General, you have outdone yourself. She will be a perfect addition to my collection." The large figure leans down and is so close to me that I smell his breath just falling down around me like a warm shower of poisonous gas. "You are going to make me a happy giant my little emerald, if you last long enough to please me."

'Dont move'

His voice sends a warm tingle through my body. I feel him now, like a flood gate let open. I feel anger and rage the most but also I feel concern. I lower my eyes and look down to my bound hands.

Without warning a soft thud lands behind me. I feel him looking me over, accessing my injuries. I must look aweful because his whole body tenses at the sight.

"General. I believe you took what belongs to me" Kylo demands. For once im glad hes wearing his mask, his voice is very dangerous sounding.

Without even the slightest of hesitation he ignites his lightsaber and the 4 troppers around me drop to the ground. King Ja'fren tries to retreat to his chamber but the door slams shut in front of him. I can see Kylo form under my eyelashes. He swings his lightsaber around in his hand like hes testing the weight of it.

"You think you could really out run me King Ja'fren? Dont you know me better than that?" Kylo asks.

"I didnt...didnt... know this emerald belonged to you Master Ren. Gen.. Gen.. General... Hux only warrrrned me he... he... was bringing me something special and when I saw her I... I...I... knew she was something r..r..rare. I swear I had no.. no. no.. idea she belonged to you." The King is tripping over his words. Such a coward when seconds ago he was telling me hes going to make me his sex slave. Kylo reaches up his arm and within seconds the King is foaming at the mouth and falls so hard he makes the ground quake.

It was till now I realized the General was standing in the corner, cowering from Kylo. Its like watching a hawk circle his prey.

"General Hux, you are foolish to think you could really hide her from me. Have I not shown you mercy in your past mistakes? This time you have gone to far. Im going to enjoy this." And with the thrust of his lightsaber he sinks it right into the generals heart. Im watching with tears flowing down my face as the general draws his last breath and sags to the ground, blood pouring from the corner of his mouth. Withdrawing his lightsaber Kylo quickly turns his attention to me. Im crying and i know my head is bleeding all over the place.

 _Im was so scared. But you came for me._ I know he can see it in my eyes.

"Im sorry for this." Its all he says before the blackness falls over my eyes, but this time I welcomed it.

 ****Notes: I never liked Hux. Sorry.****


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Changes

"Ouch." I wake up slowly, taking my time because my head still hurts. This is becoming a constant thing. Im awake and then something knocks me out. Repeat. Ill make sure the first thing that I demand Kylo to teach me is defense skills. My head is spinning. But im not in the white room, im in an all black room with the shades closed. This room is like a ying yang of the white room I was in. Im glad that no one is in here because my stomach is not agreeing with me. I sprint the toilet to throw up a few times.

It wasnt until after I washed my face that I noticed my clothes had been changed and there was no blood anywhere on me. Im wearing a new black tunic that shows my bare arms that look much to thin and new black pants that fit just right. Its unsettling, who was touching me when I was asleep? Who saw me naked. My cheeks get all hot, embarrassed that I was so vulnerable but didnt wake up. Im just grateful im alive and not in the hands of King Ja'fren. A small knock on the door startles me and Kylo is slowly pushing it open. Where was he?

"Are you okay? I am really sorry about all that. None of that was suppose to happen. Hux was mad at me for convincing the Supreme Leader to allow you to live. Hux really didnt like me. But its taken care of. Honestly, im glad hes gone.I now run more things the way I want. He was lways trying to one up me to Snoke." Hes leaning against the door way. He sounds so genuine. No mask, no cloak, just a short sleeve black shirt and black pants that just hang off his hips in a way that I catch myself looking for a moment to long.

 _How is this monster so handsome._ No, stop thinking about him.

"Uhh, yeah, im fine now. Just dizzy." I say as kindly as i can back. Hes smiling at me, i know he heard me and im embarrassed.

I look at the mirror and notice the bruising along my jaw just bringing flashes of yesterday back.

 _Kidnapped. Almost Sold. Kylo. King. Hux._

Sudden anger hit me, i feel so angry. I clenched my fists so hard my knuckles turned white and storm past him into the open room. "Why didnt you respond to me? I was calling out for you! Some strange man comes into the room you give me and just overpowers me and kidnaps me from my kidnapper! You left me here alone! I thought I was at least safe, I agreed to let you show me stuff. Isnt that suppose to me Im better kept alive? While your out killing who knows who, ripping more families apart!" I have never been this angry. I feel the force gathering up around me, pouring in. Im just gawking at him, mouth open, waiting for him to answer me and I can tell he is pissed.

"I blocked you! I didnt need you asking me all these questions while im out trying to commands my knights!", He lets out a long sigh and steps closer to me."I had every intention of keeping you safe. You are quite valuable to upcoming events. I have no idea how Hux found you. I made sure to keep you even being here as quiet as I could till I got orders from Supreme Leader on what to do with you. He somehow bribed MH-1992 to let him in. Lied saying I gave him special orders. Dont worry MH-1992 is delt with"

"You always murder everyone who makes you angry?"

"Your the only exception. Everyone else, yes. I dont like conflict." He continues, "I blocked you before I left because I knew you were safe. Well I thought you were. I had the door disabled so there was no way you were getting out before I got back and I had given MH-1992 direct orders to not let anyone in that room unless it was me. I was... away... and I just felt wrong. Like you were in danger and I tried to open the connection but by then you must of been unconscious. When I got back you were gone. I tracked down Hux immediately. If anyone was going to do something it would be him. And I was right. His shuttle had left only a few minutes before and my ship is much faster. When i caught up to you, you were in the street. I didnt want you to know i was there and warn Hux in the crowded street so I waited till you were in the open and I could make an entrance without causing a scene" Hes really close to me now. "I saw you there, so helpless to them and I felt... guilty... I shouldnt have left you here." He lets out a small chuckle, " You wouldnt believe the hight i dropped down from. I landed so smooth. After slaughtering those pigs and one look at you and I knew the best way to get you back here comfortably was to just do it silently. So I put you to sleep and I saw everything that happened though your eyes and it was quite unsettling. And no, I didnt undress you. I had a female officer do it. Im not as much of a monster as you seem to make me out to be"

I can almost feel his body heat and it makes my heart pump faster. I close my eyes and find my focus and just breath my anger out.

 _Getting mad will only get me put back in that cell. If it wasnt for him I would be laying naked on some floor somewhere dieing_.

"I cant believe Hux did that to you. The King had it coming. Long story for a different time but lets say he lost a bet and im good on my word. But Rey, you have the force. Use it!" He says as he grabs my hands. "You have to control it." He drops them to quickly to enjoy the warmth and goes and sits on the edge of the bed. Motioning me to come sit next to him. I go sit in the middle of the bed and allow him to teach me something. Iv always been a good listener.

He sighs, "Learn to call it on command and not wait for your body to just do it for you. Find the emotion that fuels you. Hate and anger are the easiest if you have plenty of it. Its the easiest for me at least. I have lots of hate and anger. Compassion is the hardest. With compassion you will find some valuable tools. Some emotions fuel different tasks. Anger can produce lightening much faster and more powerful than say... Joy. You cant do shit with joy. Iv tried."

"Maybe you havent had enough joy in your life."

"I wont argue there." He turns his body so his back is propped up against the pillows and puts his hands behind his head. "So tomorrow we will start with defense. You need to learn basic body movement to never allow something like that to happen again. At some point I wont be here to protect you. I can guarantee by then you will be so powerful I could use protection." Hes laughing.

 _Kylo without the mask._

He smiles and continues, "This doesnt change anything. Im still your master. But for now you can stay in here. With me. If you would like. Just until you feel comfortable to be on your own again."

"I should of guess this is your room. All black everything."

"Its my favorite color. Its very... alluring. " and hes looks me over.

"Thank you for the offer. Ill accept. Do we um sleep in the same bed. I dont know how this all works. I am your apprentice after all"

"But your also my responsibility. And yes unless you want to sleep on the floor but this is my bed"

I roll my eyes.

 _Well I guess a few nights here wont hurt._

"Hows your head? They got you good. But your fine now. They healed fine. Im pretty sure they actually cracked your skull. And your jaw will heal quick. Im just really tired and it takes alot of energy to heal"

I rub my hands in my hair feeling where there should be two huge bumps. " You need to show me that. Thats amazing! I didnt even know that was a thing."

"Like I say, not all dark things are bad. I have so much to show you." Hes smiling so big right now. Like a child, maybe its the sleep exhaustion thats making him so child like but he is right, im still so tired and could use some more sleep. "So tomorrow? Defense?"

I nod agreeing with him. I go and curl up on the farthest side of the bed as I can and get comfortable, this bed may be more comfortable that the last one. Kylos back is to me and I think hes still awake so I sit up and peak over.

"Your still a monster" I say, but hes already asleep.

 ****This was alittle sweet side of Kylo because he cant be bad all the time. Before all the training starts tomorrow. I just can picture Adam Driver in this scene. He is quite appealing to the eye!****


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Lessons

"Watch your ribs! You always leave yourself open to quick rib attacks. You would be dead in a matter of seconds." Moments ago he sent a swift kick to my ribs knocking the wind out of me. Now he is just circling around me as I sit on my knees catching my breath. There is sweat just dripping down our faces. His hair clinging to his forehead. Hes wearing only a long sleeve black shirt and his normal black pants and boots. Never removing his gloves. Its actually quite distracting because with his cloak and mask he would look much different. We have been in the training room for hours. Its located somewhere near the belly of the ship. A very large round room with a soft dark floor made of some material that seems to absorb my falls. If it wasnt for that im sure I would have a few broken bones by now. The dark red walls made from the same material as the floor. Kylo told me this morning while eating breakfast that this room is the Knights favorite training room. He made sure to warn me that it allows him to attack me better without actually hurting me. But I was sure his idea of hurting me was much different then what I think him hurting me would be. And now that we are here he is not holding back.

His electroblade training sword is humming in my ear. "Death by decapitation", he says from behind me holding his blade almost touching my neck. These weapons are made especially for training purposes, they may look like lightsabers but they are not deadly. They hurt like a son of a bitch when you get hit by one. Sending shock waves through that part of the body momentarily paralyzing it. Its less painful than whatever Huxs men used on me, but I still dont like it. "Do you not value your life. Fight like you have something to fight for! Get angry!" I use this moment to swing my leg out around in a perfect circle on the floor catching under Kylos feet sending him to the ground. I somersault backwards and I end up right next to him, hes laying down almost shocked. Thats the first time I have been able to bring him to the floor. I draw my electroblade and hold it up close to his face, hovering over his neck, nearly inches away from his jugular.

"Your dead." I quickly stand up allowing him to get back into his defense position. "I dont need anger to fuel me like you do." I say through my teeth, and I have to admit, this man does have a very good form. I try copying the way he positions his feet but the way he handles the electroblade is no match for me. I just cant seem to get the hang of this thing, it doesnt feel right in my hands. Almost... unbalanced. Hes ready to attack, I see him twitch his left foot and thats his clear indicator that hes going to shift position and charge. Using what he told me about the force, and using it to sense your opponents movement before they do it, I know he is about to sprint and charge my left side and without warning he closes the gap between us, but not fast enough because im able to duck away from his attack and hit him with the hilt of the blade right into his rib.

"Ouch!" He huffs and grabs at his side. "You are fast, I will give you that padawan."

"Thank you master." The last word rolls off my tounge, I hate it.

"Ill make you a deal. Every hit you get on me, I will answer one question you have. Only one per hit so choose wisely. Thats if you can even get another hit on me." His eyes are light, almost playful.

"Hmm, Deal." I charge at him with no warning and our blades comes crashing together, sending sparks above our heads. We engage in vigorously slashing our blades again and again, I refuse to allow a hit through. Trying to make sure im protecting my ribs as much as I can. I channel the force again and push him back a step, then two steps, then three steps till hes back up against the wall. He throws out his hand and send me flying to the other side of the room, I slide across the floor till my back is now against the wall. He charges but I roll out from under him and swing my blade just right and get him perfectly along the back. Sending him to the floor, he hunches over and lets out a loud moan. "Question One, why can you block me out and I cant block you?"

Hes still hunched over on the floor waiting for feeling to come tingle back into his spine. He picks himself off the ground and turns towards me. "That was a surprise. Very well done padawan." He positions himself again on the offence position ready to attack. "Because I am much stronger than you. With the proper training we can strengthen this bond and soon I wont be able to block you out. I dont like that very much, but it will come useful when we are in battle. You, fighting for the First Order." He lunges for me, I quickly meet his blade above my head.

"I. Will. Never. Fight. For. You." I say in between our blades striking against eachother. White sparks lightly falling from each contact point. Im not letting him get another hit in, my body is already soar and raw.

"We'll see", he says and he sends me to the ground with one kick to my thigh and comes down on my other leg with the electroblade.

"Arrrrrggg," I cringe at the pain and lay sprawled out on the ground. Kylo is standing over me just glaring down. He looks angry now.

 _Monster_

"That I am, but your leaving yourself open to it. Protect every part of your body, or you will be leaving battle with less than four limbs. If you even leave at all." He turns and walks to the other side of the room. Retracts the blade and clips it to his pants. "I will allow you to try and get a hit on me, without my blade. Because that is only a tool. A lightsaber can be the most powerful tool there is in the Galaxy but you might not always have access to it. Watch me."

 _This is going to be to easy._

Hes just standing motionless on the other side of the circle and staring at me, grinning... waiting. As soon as I go to charge he lowers himself to the ground and puts both hands flat on the sides of him, closes his eyes and lowers his head. I feel the force around me shift. The ground ripples towards me, the waves reach my feet and send a bone chilling shock through my whole body causing me to scream out and sends me strait to my knees. The pain doesnt subside, instead it increases sending me even closer to the floor till im on my back crying out.

"Stop! Stop! Please Stop!" And it stops. When I open my eyes, hes standing over me. "What... was.. that" I say between gasps. My body still not allowing me to move. I wish I knew about that back on Curuscant.

"There are powers that you can access, that you cant even imagine. Imagine if you mastered them all. You cant even begin to understand the control you can have. All you have to do is WANT it bad enough, I can show you things a jedi can only dream of. They are all so weak, they dont see the good these types of abilities bring. The order it can bring." Hes angry, I feel it. "You have so much potential, and yet you are still bent around the fact that im a monster. Yes, im a monster but do you really think you can go back to your friends now and then face me at some point and take me down? Who would train you? Your very unstable."

Im still laying on the ground trying to bring feeling back to my body. "What makes you think that I wont allow you to train me and then turn against you and kill you? I will know all your secrets."

'Because your not dumb'

My brows crease, _You dont know a thing about me!_ I didnt not just call myself dumb, did I?

"Your right. But I know enough that you know I will kill you before I let you kill me." Hes still very angry. I get up from the floor, my limbs dont feel like jelly anymore. He ignites his electroblade and I get strait into my stance and start slashing my blade as furiously as I can against his, trying to read every movement and I manage to stay about a millisecond ahead of him not letting him get to my ribs or back. Its like training with yourself, someone being able to read your body language and feel your movement before you make them. It does make for interesting fighting. I cant seem to break through until I notice his leg is out to far and with the slightest movement of my hand I push him back just far enough to land a hard slash of the blade to his calf. He goes strait down.

"Im getting better at that one." I say examining my hand.

"Fuck." He sprays through his teeth.

"Question Two", I stand and straiten my shoulders. Proud of myself for landing a second hit. "Why did you kill your father? Why did you kill Luke? Why do you have this vendetta against your entire blood line? Against your own mother? The leader of the Resistance! Why would you turn to this, make me into YOU?!" Im starting to yell. I dont understand this person. He can be so kind. He saved my life, it might be for his own personal gain. But I rather die at the hands of the King of Knights than of the King of the Underworld.

His eyes burn into mine and he shoots me back against the farthest wall. His hand stretched out and invisible hands start choking me but my body is frozen. "Thats more than one question. You better watch your tone with me scavenger. I am your Master, you need to remember that." He lets me go and I slouch to the ground. He starts walking towards me, I feel his anger. I dont fear him anymore as much as everyone does. I am of value after all, he isnt going to kill me yet. "I killed my father because he was weak and foolish. What purpose in this galaxy did he serve. He stole from people, he was a traitor, a smuggler. Ripping off anyone who stood in his way of money. He signed a death warrant a long time ago. Im just glad he lived long enough to let me be the one who did it."

My thoughts trail back to when Han Solo offered me a job.

 _"You're offering me a job?" "I'm considering it"_ The memory made me smile alittle. _First time anyone ever offered me a real job._

"He would of gotten you killed eventually. Dont dwell on it. You did not know him like I did."

"Your right, I didnt have a father to get to know. But he seems like he would of been a good one to have. I wouldnt have killed him!" Im sitting on the ground with my back against the wall.

"If you want to ask me anymore questions you are going to have to hit me again"

I get up and charge at him with everything I have, striking him over and over with as much power and strength that I conger up. Im trying to summon the force around me but my attention is to drawn on trying to get another hit but he leaves me no space. Not even leaving me enough room to push him back with my hand. He lands a hit to my shoulder that send my electroblade flying across the room. I stomp off grabbing my shoulder. Cursing under my breath in languages im sure he doesnt understand.

"That was harsh", I manage to say. And for a moment I know his attention is elsewhere. I wish I could easily read his thoughts. He doesnt look happy.

"I want to try something else", he says a few minutes later as im rolling my shoulder trying to bring feeling back faster. "Sit down."

So I do as im told and sit in my favorite lotus position in the center of the room. He slowly takes off his gloves and sets them on the ground next to him. He sits across from me mimicking me and he brings his attention to my hands.

"Give them to me. We are going to try opening up the bond more." So I do what he says and I set my hands in his in the middle of our knees. My hands are so little compared to his. He closes his hands around mine. His eyes close and he starts slowly breathing. I follow his actions and slow my breathing. "Clear your mind."

"Kind of hard when your always in there", I say rolling my eyes even though they are closed. He lets out a long breath trying to focus. I feel it, it starts as a tingle but it grows by the second swallowing my body. Its a mix of so many emotions at once. Fear, anger, lust, anguish, need, rage, completeness, and power. Its overwhelming, making my heart flutter. And then I see it. Images that flash in front of me. There are hundreds of bodies laying on the ground. Ripped to pieces. Men, women, children all dead. All I see is red. I hear a heartbeat racing out of control just pounding in my ears. There are screams, blood wrenching screams. And in the distance I see 6 black statues looking men. All tall and broad with different masks, different types of cloaks, and all have a different type of weapons all staring right at me.

I spring my eyes open and hes just looking at me, "Did you do that!? Did you feel that!? What happened!? What was that!"

"You wanted to know what I feel. You want us to open the connection like this. Your gonna regret it, but you wont stop trying to pry into my thoughts. You keep asking why you cant just get into my mind. Well there are things you dont need to see. I only allow you to see what I want you to. I cant keep all of you out. I always feel what you feel. At least for now I can somewhat block you from certain things on my end. I am not as weak as I was when I first interrogated you. I was caught off guard then." He gets up, puts his gloves on and grabs his cloak and mask from the floor near the door. "We are done for today. LH-2013 will take you back to my room. There is dinner waiting for you. Ill be back later I have something I need to take care of. If you try anything stupid I will be forced to kill LH-2013. You dont want that do you? Im not leaving the ship so if you need anything..." He points to his head, "Just ask. Ill leave it open for the time being". He puts his mask on and leaves. A Silver Stormtropper appears and proceeds to lead me back to the room. Im so hungry and I dont care that I have so many unanswered questions. I guess they can wait till later. Unnaturally, there in the back of my mind, I can hear and feel the faintest of heartbeats that wasnt there before.

'The bond has strengthened' As if hes reassuring me. Its his heartbeat.

 ****Now that their bond has strengthened there will be such growth in these two. I wonder what they will accomplish... ;) -SSL ****


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13: Stand Your Ground

His heartbeat is so strong. Its like a pretty hum in my head. I kinda dont mind it, even if its Kylo Rens. Its actually makes me feel safer, somewhat stronger, like I can feel his energy. I can feel so much more. Like my senses heightened. I eat dinner and take a shower as fast as I can. I dont need him coming in on me while im showering. When I return from the shower there are fresh clothes on the bed for me. Must of been a droid, at least I hope so. I pace around the room for a little looking for things to do, there isnt anything but some books on the shelf. I notice he has the same red book on his bookshelf. I dont even want to look at it right now. Im still trying to get over hearing his heartbeat thing. Why am I bonded to this man, Knight of Ren. I need to ask him how this even happened. So I wait patiently for him to return.

Crawling to the center of the bed, I close my eyes to meditate and just focus on his heartbeat. I try to feel where on the ship he might be, pouring all my focus in. I dont bother him just yet, I just listening for awhile.

 _Top Deck_

'What?'

 _Your on the top deck of the destroyer. I can feel you. I can hear your heart beating._

'Good. You picked it up faster than I thought'

 _Why can I now feel you and not before?_

'I didnt want you to'

 _And now you do?_

'Not necessarily.'

 _Why are we bonded? Me and you have nothing in common._

'Because the Universe seems to think we do'

Someone interrupts him and I can hear them talking. I listen closely.

' "Sir, with General Hux sudden leave of absence, you are now the soul Captain of the Destroyer" "Set the coordinates to D'Qar" '

 _Your going to attack them? The resistance? You better not! Your own mother! You bastard!_

And then nothing. The connection was cut. But I can still hear his heart beating, that doesnt exactly make me feel better. I want to kill him right now! I know hes coming, the longer we spend together the easier it is to feel his presence.

 _Whats going to happen if im still your prisoner after a month? A year? Forever? Your going to keep me here as a pet so you can train your dark ways too._ I open the blinds to just look at the stars _. Maybe I can escape to one of the planets near by. How hard can it be to convince some stormtroppers to let me by. I can fly any plane I can get my hands on. I need to warn the resistance._ I hope the connection is still closed.

The door slides open and Kylo comes storming in, hands clenched. He doesnt remove his mask which doesnt allow me to see his face to read him better. "Do you forget whos side your on now?! What would happen if you went back to them?! I would be forced to kill you at first sight. There is nothing there for you Rey! There is nothing that they can give you that I cant! This is why I didnt want to open this more. Snoke warned me that allowing you access more of your end of the bond. That it was going to be a problem. But I chose to defy his orders in hope you would show me some respect since I now twice saved your life. Snoke prefers you dead. You are a unwelcome distraction but he is giving you a chance. Something that doest come often." He stomps over to stand nearly a foot away. Igniting his lightsaber but I hold my ground even though im shaking.

"Do it you horrible man," taunting him. "I am not going to sit here and allow you to go murder my friends! I will find a way to leave! I will not be a prisoner no more! Your the enemy! You will never be my master! He died. Because you murdered him too! So kill me or let me leave."

"My prisoner? I thought you were being treated better than any guest has been on the destroyer. People dont see the outside of their cell. I let you sleep in my bed. Something else I have never let someone do. You are alot of firsts for me. Just so you know, you wont escape Rey. I will find you were ever you go. Thats one advantage to this bond I dont mind. I will put you back in that cell if I have to. Just to keep you here. For once in your life someone finds you valuable, important to them, and you want to run? I need you here."

"You only want me here because you think you can convert me to the dark side. Become your secret weapon in the war against the resistance! But I will NEVER use my powers against them. The first chance I get I will let them take me hostage and try to explain that you kidnapped me and held me here against my will" I shout.

"Why are you keeping me here! I want to go home!"

"To that desolate planet. Rey, how come you cant see your true potential? You are so much more than that. You have a destiny to fulfill."

"Luke told me my destiny, and it has nothing to do with YOU!" Oh Luke, I miss him. He was so kind to me in those few days.

"You believe that old man! Hes a liar! Anything to keep you on the resistance side."

"Oh now I see where you get it from Ben."

He grabs my throat and lifts me off the ground, squeezing so hard I think hes going to snap my neck.

"Dont you EVER use that name again. Hes dead! Because I killed him to." He throws me on the ground and leaves. No doubt to go slash some more walls with his child like temper.

 **** Just a short chapter this time. Leave reviews and let me know what you guys think so far :) ****


	15. Chapter 15

****Im so sorry everyone, I had to go out of town yesterday, here is a chapter i had a lot of fun writing. let me know what you think -SSL****

Chapter 15: Souls

I force myself to go to bed. There is no use fighting sleep any longer. He isn't coming back tonight. I still can't talk to him but his steady heartbeat is echoing through my core. I awake to a droid bringing me in breakfast. I am so hungry I shoot right out of bed taking notice to Kylos absence. I wonder if our connection is still blocked.

 _Are we training today?_

He doesn't answer back right away.

'Not today'

That just means I will be in this room all day alone. The only interaction Ill probably get is when Kylo allows me to to talk to him. I'm bored instantly. I decide to eat breakfast and go get the Force Bonds book from the top of the shelf and try and understand this more. Flipping through I find a page where the corner is folded down, bookmarking it. I scan the page over with my eyes and they fall to a picture of two people. One noticeably much taller and one small and petite. They hold hands but in their other hands they each hold a lightsaber. The larger figure holds one that is red, and when I squint my eyes and get closer to the page I swear it looks like Kylos. The other one, a double sided white lightsaber, I can't take my eyes off it. But underneath the picture is a paragraph scribed in fine print,

\- A soulmate force bond is formed when an Ultra rare White and Red Ash Solar Star collapses. They are said to be no longer among the stars of the sky. The dying star will split into two different lights. The lights then make their way to opposite ends of the Galaxy and find two children while they are still in womb. Conceived by one parent of force. When the time comes, the two will be reunited, opening the bond through an act of force. Time strengthens the bond. The dark and the light. In death they both die, one by the hand of the enemy, one by a broken heart. But alive, together they will bring balance to the... -

I quickly put the book back where I got it and just freeze sitting in the middle of the bed again. Just then the door slides open and Kylo walks in. Removes his helmet, sets it down on the table with a loud thud, and comes and sits down on the edge of the bed. He never makes eye contact but just sits there in complete silence with his head lowered. Eyes closed.

I'm want to break the silence but don't know what to say. He doesn't move except for the slight rising of his back when he breaths in. He turns his head and looks right at me. His eyes just memorizing my face. I don't even want to argue because I truly don't want to be alone again.

"If you go back, to them. Your... friends. I will find you, I don't even need to think about it. I know exactly where you are. It's like my own personal tracking device. If you go to them. I will find you and I will kill them all." He shifts so his back is against the foot board. His eyes, never leaving my face. "I don't mean to say this and scare you. But it's the truth. I will do what I have to do and I am who I am. You will make it even easier by running to them. So think about it. You don't have to fight on the front lines with me. I have spent many years training my knights to perfect a battle win and they get the job done..."

I interrupt him, "Your going to kill them all?!" I snap. I don't look at him, water swells my eyes. I look out the window at all the stars and planets just knowing I will never be able to be free. I wait a minute to just let what he said register in my mind.

"You care so much about people you know nothing about. With or without you, I will find all their bases and completely eliminate the resistance. They are standing in my way. Don't make it easier for me and you will have nothing to feel guilty about."

 _I can never escape you._ I never thought that if I go to them, I will be leading the enemy right to them. Just like with Luke. I frown and feel the tears start falling from my cheeks.

He looks around the room and his eyes catch the red book and then he looks back at me.

"Do you want to go on a trip?"

"With you?"

"Yes. I told you that you are my responsibility."

He caught me off guard, this is not how I imagined this conversation going. I want to bring up the book now. But the thought of seeing something other than the walls of the destroyer has me intrigued.

"Why?"

"I don't need to be at D'qar. My knights have it under control. Our troops are also expertly trained. I would be of better use expanding your training."

Everything he said just twisted my stomach in 3 different ways. But I have so many questions, maybe now I can get answers. So I agree to go and he smiles. Is he excited about something? He slides off the bed and walks over to a wall that seems to have nothing on it. I thought it was a strange wall, I couldn't figure out the purpose but I knew there was one. I could feel it, something radiating from the walls every time I walked past it. He waves his hand over a section and a drawer pops open, just a drawer in a wall. Completely undetected when closed.

 _I wonder what else is on that wall_

'Don't even think about it' he looks at me still grinning his childish grin.

 _Unmasked Kylo Ren_

He pulls out a thick black cloth looking item, neatly folded. He waves his hand and the drawer disappears. He motions for me to come stand in front of him and he waves the cloth out. Except it's not just a cloth, it's a cloak. He swings it out and holds it for me to step into it. I do and turn to face him. He hooks it in front of me and I instantly enjoy how thick and warm it is. With a large hood draped around the shoulders. It has thick sleeves that come to a point at the top of my hands. It's almost identical to what Kylo wears but this one is a perfect fit and unique in its own ways.

"I had this made for you. Waiting for the moment you submit without argue to my training." He's grinning from ear to ear, enjoying this.

"It's amazing." I step away from him and do a small spin to just watch the fabric swish around my feet. It's really marvelous. "Can I ask you something? Or do I have to beat you up for it."

"Luckily for you I'm in a... Generous mood... And I'll allow you one question. That doesn't mean I'll answer it." He leans against the wall and crosses his arms just observing how the cloak looks on me. I must look like a child because I keep rubbing my hands along the fabric. It's softer than it looks and holds all my heat in. I can feel myself warming up.

"Do you really think we are soulmates?" His posture changes the moment I say it. He straitens up. "I just read the book that's all. I must of read that before but I noticed how you marked the page and I just..." I'm embarrassed because I touched his stuff, but he left the book there and I know he put one in the other room, he made me read it the first night in there. I bite my tongue. Anxious for him to answer.

"I'm drawn to you in ways that a master should not be drawn to his apprentice. When I realized this I was able to convince Snoke to let me train you. He would of never suspected us to be more than that. This... me and you... are not suppose to exist as this. It's impossible. Somewhere deep down you feel it though. I know you do Rey. I feel it to. I told you on Starkiller that I felt it. Even then you were calling to me."

I'm lying to myself if I didn't say I found this monster attractive but Im sure it's not a soulmate bond. Even with his faded scar, he still resembles a human with a sort of soft side. How can this man be a monster. Sometimes when he isn't wearing his mask, I can forget the horrible things he's done. I need to change the subject.

"When do we leave" I'm so ready to leave this room and this ship and get far away from that book.

"Right now." He walks and stands right in front of me to pull my hood up over my head and holds the sides of it for a second. "You really don't know how alluring you look. Maybe my most dangerous knight yet." His eyes meet mine, he lets go to step away and he once again hides himself behind the mask. Hood up, he looks at me and cocks his head to one side motioning me to start moving. I follow him without a sound. He keeps a slow pace so I can keep up with him, which I am thankful for. Along the way I notice how everyone stiffens and silences when they see Kylo coming.

 _Everyone is so scared of you._

'They should be. But maybe it's you who they are afraid of'

When we reach the hanger I'm stunned. I remember the first time I laid eyes on it his ship it circled around and landed next to Mazs falling castle. At the time all I could think about was how to distance myself from it. The day I first encountered Kylo Ren. I almost don't want to get on but I just want to leave the destroyer.

He walks up to the ship, motioning me to go first so he can stay and talk to the troopers. I watch from the top of the ramp, they exchange a few words and he dismisses them. Turning his attention to me he walks up, closing the ramp behind him with the wave of his hand. Pausing for a split second in front of me before he walks over to the pilot seat and sits down to start turning on all the engines. Motioning me to sit in the seat next to him.

"Are we going alone? You know how to pilot this thing?"

"Yes, this is mine. One of a kind, I designed it myself. Don't you trust my flying?" He turns to face me but with his mask I cant read his expression.

"I don't know, I have never seen you in action."

"I know you are an excellent pilot yourself. You managed to leave Jakku on that piece of garbage. But you have nothing to worry about, I have no doubt you will find no flaws in my flying abilities." He turns back to flip a few more switches and we slowly lift off the hanger floor and soon all I can see are stars. His craft is a smooth ride, nothing like anything I have ever flown. Besides the few small vessels I flew on Jakku and then the Millennium Falcon, I guess I don't have much to compare it to. But if he designed this, I can only guess it's the best of the best.

We sit in silence for awhile. Maybe their is still tension from bringing up the soulmate force bond thing. I can't get the image of the two people holding hands and holding the lightsabers? The small petite one with her white double staffed lightsaber is burned in my mind. At home I always gravitated toward a staff. The way it moved in the air and how much control I had over it. It felt balanced and easy to handle. When I wielded it I felt powerful and knew I could stand my ground when need be. I can picture myself with that lightsaber the small petite figure was holding. The saber almost calling to me. The thought haunting me. I still don't believe this soulmate bond thing. It is said to be almost unheard of, impossible Kylo said. I stare out the window and feel my eyes closing so I wrap my new cloak tight around me and welcome sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

****So many unanswered questions, a few answers :) ****

Chapter 16: Balance

"Wake up, we are here", I hear Kylo as I wake up to him landing his vessel in a large grass field surround by trees. I have no idea were we are. He shuts off all the controls and turns to face towards me. He removes his mask and let's out a large sigh.

"I want to show you something Rey. Something that means a lot to me. It's a few hour walk from here so I need to get some stuff together and we will leave." He gets up and proceeds to move about the cabin and load some supplies into a small bag.

"When are you going to tell me were we are" I get up and walk over to him. "Do I get my lightsaber at least. How do we know what's out there."

He stops and looks down at me. "There is nothing out there. Let's go." He shuffles past me and opens the ramp with the wave of his hand and I follow without a sound. I should be yelling at him right now about something, he is the enemy still. And his knights are out there killing people. But something about his demeanor is different and it's interesting. Part of me wants to believe that Kylo Ren still has light in him. Maybe I can convince him to come back to the resistance and turn himself in to his mother. But now there is probably no resistance left and I'm out here on some planet with the enemy who I agreed to be the apprentice for. So much going on and I just feel so torn, I know he isn't so bad, but I can't forget everything he has done.

I follow behind him through thick brush and woods, stepping over large fallen logs and almost slipping and breaking my neck twice.

 _I hate the woods_ I scowl.

'We are almost there, be patient' he looks back at me and then continues forward.

After about awhile I can see a clearing up ahead, and water. Kylo picks up his pace almost breaking out in a run but stopping a few feet away from the opening to wait for me to catch up. We walk to the most amazing sight my eyes have ever seen. Across from a small field there is a lake laying under a large mountain, covered in various shades of green trees. On the bottom of the mountain overlooking the lake is a house. A beautiful orange and tan lakefront house with two silver dome roofs. It's beautiful, with a hint off red on a slanted roof that glistens in the sun. I wonder who lives there, they must be important to own such a secluded castle on a lake front. Hidden from the rest of the world.

"Who are we visiting?" I ask, I don't know to be excited or scared.

"Don't be afraid. I want to show you something."

"This isn't it? I'm just happy I was able to see such a beautiful place. No doubt trying to distract me from the mass murder your friends are committing. Your own mother is there.5"

"Would you stop for once! I am not trying to distract you from anything. Because I know you can't stop thinking about it and won't stop. But that's not going to change that you can't stop it from actually happening. I don't care about that woman. She gave me life but she also gave me away! Stop moping around. Your not the only one alone in this world. How about for once in your life you..." He cuts himself off and turns to unhook a boat from a nearby dock.

"You think she doesn't love you?"

"Rey so help me if I don't kill you right here. Do not bring that woman up. I do not know her. Not anymore not after what she's done. Get in the boat and let me show you what we came here for."

"But..."

He throws up his hand and instantly I'm dragged towards him and his hand is around my throat. "Get in the boat. And stop." He lets go and starts to untied the boat from the dock. I step down into the small row boat. It looks so old and untouched. A nearby duck squawks and startles me. Kylo laughs and undoes the last small knot. I cross my arms and look down at my knees. He jumps in and sits down right in front of me, and starts rowing towards the house. The sun feels so good so I unlatch the cloak and let the it warm my arms. My body tingles with warmth, something I haven't felt since Kylo kidnapped my from Ach'to. Instantly I miss Jakku and I miss Luke and I remember I'm in a rowboat with the man who killed Luke. His own uncle Kylos body language changes as he feel my emotions run wield.

 _Empty. Sad. Lonely. Confused. Scared._

"You feel so much of the dark side. Maybe there is dark in you yet." He smirks, stopping for a second to grab some water from his small bag and removes the outer layer of his cloak. Without the mask and cloak he looks so normal, besides the scar on his face. I look back to the water next to the boat, dipping my hands in as he returns to his rowing. When we reach the bottom of the house there are grand stairs leading up from the dock. At the top I find a patio, with columns and flowers, just overlooking the water. From here I can see the top wings of Kylo Rens command shuttle. The water shimmering in the sunlight.

"It's stunning. Who lives here?"

"No one yet. It was in the family along time ago. I acquired it awhile back, but I rarely get the chance to come here. It's really is magnificent. A beautiful place, so... Peaceful. I dont usually enjoy the company of people when I go away, but I thought you would like it here." He walks around to one of the beams. Running his gloved hand down it, examining it.

"You said this place is important to you?"

"It belonged to my grandmother, my grandfather spent much time here with her."

"Darth Vader?" I say in horror. _Dearth Vader in a place like this?_ I'm still gasping. I want to leave but I can't stop but think _, How can the most powerful man of time, ever come to a place like this?_ For love?

"He married her here, right in this spot. A secret ceremony, no one to ever know. It was forbidden." He turns back towards me. "I found this out when I aquired some hidden archives in a republic base we overtook." I flinched and closed my eyes. I don't want to hear this. "I found out about all these secrets my grandfather had. And how he had all these plans for the empire that I plan to finish for him!" He is slowly getting louder and walking towards me. "I brought you here to show you, that all the dark you see can come from the most beautiful things. You Rey, are no doubt beautiful." Did he just call me beautiful? Why is he so close?

"I am not dark and never will be. I feel angry and sad. But YOU make me feel those things. I was finally happy with Luke, ready to fulfill my destiny. He told me I found my home when I was on Ach'to and that I was right where I was suppose to be and I believe him! He was a Jedi, the best Jedi. I heard legends about him growing up and your father told me they were all true! Your a coward, you think you will never be as strong as Darth Vader so you kill your whole family to prove... What? Your a murderer. You will never be a Skywalker."

"You were there to lead me to him so I can kill him and bring balance! You are the balance Rey! Me and you. Fighting side by side. The Resistance lies! Based on false facts and foolishness. I need to show you something. Please. It will change things." He stares into my eyes like he found something he has been searching his whole lifetime for.

"Nothing will change what you are. Part of me wants to believe there is light in you."

"And I believe there is dark in you." He grabs my hand and pulls me inside, past a long glass table with a bowl of pears in the middle. If he wasn't pulling me so fast I would eat one, they look mouthwatering. I have only heard of what they taste like from an old lady passing through Jakku. I never imagined I would actually see one in my lifetime. He pulls me around the house to another set of stairs that lead down to another small boat. This one longer but slimmer.

 _Another boat?_

He doesn't speak but walks right into the boat and pushes me down onto the seat. With a push of force off the dock he start rowing down the lake towards a small off river towards the mountains, the sun once again hitting my skin and warming me. I close my eyes and tip my had back, just to let to sun touch as much skin as possible. I feel his eyes watching me but I don't care.

 _I will either be dead or back on the destroyer in a few days. So I'm going to enjoy this while I can._

He remains silent. I take a second to look back at the house one last time, it really is nothing like I have ever seen before the sun still reflecting off the rook, this side of the house has so many windows over looking the water, rooms with the view of a thousand lifetimes.

 _I wonder what it would be like to wake up here everyday without a care in the Galaxy?_

'Me too'

The river is slowly narrowing to a path at the bottom of a trench in the mountains. In the distance I can hear running water, and lots of it. Once through the trench I see it, but my mind doesn't register it at first. It's a meadow.

 _My meadow._


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Dreams

The boat slows to a stop on top of a shallow section at the edge of the meadow. This feels as thought its my dream. Something so beautiful can only exist in dreams. The water that falls from the waterfalls just glistens in the sun. I get out of the boat slowly and silently walk forward spreading my fingers to just touching the tips of the tall grass. Allowing it to tickle my palms like my dream. The flowers in the field must be in full bloom, I close my eyes and listen to the running water and faint birds in the background. I listen to Kylos heartbeat, slightly faster than normal which causes me to turn and look at him.

"I dreamed I was here. Twice I dreamed of this meadow." I almost whisper. I look around me, my eyes soaking up everything I see, the beautiful yellow and purple flowers in full bloom. _Its exactly as I dreamed it was, but better._

"You were called to it. Its your destiny to be here with me." He is standing on the edge of the meadow near the boat. His expression calm but anxious. I cant explain how my mind brought me here.

"My dream. You were in my dream" I take a few steps back, I remember the lightening, and how it almost hit me twice. The flash of light and then waking up on the destroyer. Im just staring at him, blinking away the water that swells in my eyes. "Why would I see this place?"

"I watched you for a few minutes, trying to understand why were you dreaming of this place. You looked so healthy, I have never seen you with that much color in your cheeks. There you were happy and had no worry, in my grandmothers meadow. Never have I seen someone so at peace. I could feel you, even then. I was overwhelmed with emotion, a pull towards the light. Pulling me to you. In that moment I realized who you truly were and if Supreme Leader found out he would kill us both. Knowing that together we are more powerful than him." He starts walking towards me. "You. A scavenger. My soulmate. You were either going to be my biggest downfall or my greatest asset. I thought you would pick up on it when you first read the book, but you didnt know exactly what you were looking for. The connection on your end was weak. So I opened it." He is now standing arms length away from me. Our eyes stay locked on each others. The world around us seems to slow in time as I wrap my head around what Kylo is saying. "The storm was merely to scare you. I was worried Supreme Leader saw what was happening, he would have me kill you in a second. I think at that point I wouldnt of been able to do that. And he would of killed us both because even in our dreams we arnt safe. But here, you are the safest you will ever be. You will always be safe with me."

He moves closer till our bodies are almost touching. He wraps his large hands around my arms and just holds me there. Maybe hes afraid I am going to run. I dont want to. He staring at my lips, just waiting for me to almost scream and run. Slowly he lowers his head, meeting my gaze for a split second. Then his lips are on mine and my whole body dissolves and I kiss him back. Not caring that he is a monster, a murderer, a creature in a mask. I feel complete. At this moment I give in to him. Parting my lips to let him deepen his kiss. I grab his elbows for support and let out a small involuntary moan. He takes control, slowly touching the roof of my mouth with his tongue. He his arms let go and one find the small of my back and he pulls me so our bodies are flush with eachother. His other hand is holding the side of my face, his thumb under my chin and his fingers around the nape of my neck. We stay like this for awhile. Enjoying each other touch I could feel the energy around us getting stronger, swirling around us like a dessert storm. I only break for a minute to catch my breath. I never want this to end, I have craved the touch of someone for so long. I have never let myself be this vulnerable to someone. He stops and pulls away inches of my face, our eyes meet and he is smiling. His child like smile that makes my heart stop.

'Unmasked Kylo'

"You really believe that old wise tale? That we are called to each other." I cant believe what is happening. Im soulmate force bonded with the leader of the Knights of Ren.

"I do. Do you have any idea what we can accomplish together? I will never let anything happen to you and I plan to train you to ensure nothing does." He is being so calm. I have never seen this Kylo. Maybe this is Ben talking, but I wont say anything to ruin the moment.

"I believe you..." And his lips are on mine once more, but this kiss is much deeper. I feel the passion, the electricity that evolves between us. It addicting. I kiss him back and bring my hands to around his neck, allowing me to pull him even closer. He pulls away to soon and lets go but grabs my hand and we start walking through the meadow back to the boat. "Now what?"

He lets out a small laugh, "Arnt you hungry. We can come back tomorrow, but for now we can talk back at the house."

The boat ride was short, we didnt talk. We just looked at each other.

 _I have to let everything soak in._ My eyes fall to the passing water on the side of the boat. _And I still hate you._

He continued to watch me. 'I know'

We get to the house and when we get back up to the balcony I stop for a minute to look back over the water, What is to become of me. "Whats going to happen to us if Snoke finds out who I am? What I am to you. Will he kill me himself?" I look back to Kylo who is leaning against a pillar still watching me like hes waiting for me to run.

"Yes. If the resistance finds out they will no doubt try and kill us both. But that wont happen. We can keep it a secret. Like my grandfather and grandmother. This was a happy place for them." He turns and looks over the water.

"Im starving." I tell him after a few minutes to change the subject. I doubt Finn would kill me, he would know it wasnt my fault. Its not my fault.

"Of course, come, lets eat." He takes my hand and leads me into the dinning room overlooking the balcony. I sit down on the one end and he goes into the kitchen. I notice the pears are still there so i quickly get up and grab on and sit back down. Examining it in my hands like a forbidden fruit. I raise it to my mouth and take a bite. Its the most welcoming taste I have ever had. Its juicy and sweet. I close my eyes and chew slow, enjoying every ounce of flavor. Kylo comes back and chuckles when he sees me.

"Those are my favorite too." I smile back with a mouthful. In his hands he has two bowl and sits down with them. Using the force he slowly glides my bowl to in front of me.

"I need to get better at that." And in an instant he pulls the pear from my hand and its in his, he looks at it and takes a large bite. Consuming half of what I had left he then glides the pear back and sets it down next to my bowl. The soup smells delicious though I have no idea what it is. I take one bite and it warms my whole body. "What is this?"

"Tomato and Garlic soup from a market shop close here on Naboo," he answers. He must really like it because he is already done by the time I get halfway through mine. Im full and tired. I can feel myself falling asleep slowly. "Are you tired?" he asks.

"Its been a very overwhelming day." I yawn and I sink deeper in my chair.

"Let me take you upstairs. We are going to be here for a few days so I had some stuff put in a room for you." He gets up from the table and walks over to me and pulls my chair out. Startling me. He slips his arm under my knees and puts his other around my back and proceeds to carry me upstairs. I was going to fight it but I welcomed the gesture. I laid my head on his chest and he pulled me tighter to him. Once to the top of the stairs he walks to a large double door. Made from some type of wood, with delicate carvings throughout. Kylo manages to open the door and once we are inside, I almost want to get down to look around better. There is a large bed with large wood posts that are holding up sheer white material that drapes over the bed. There is a balcony overlooking the lake and the trench leading to the meadow. A door leading to a fresher and on one wall is a vanity, a beautiful wood and gold vanity with various thing laid about. Another wall has a large wooded wardrobe with two large wood and gold doors. I can explore tomorrow. Kylo sets me on the bed and lightly trails his fingers down my cheek and his thumb brushes my lip. "Can I stay?"

"Please." All I crave right now is his closeness and warmth, I also dont really want to be alone. He climbs in behind me and pulls me to him. My body molding perfectly to his, his arm draped over my stomach and his other under my pillow. I can feel his breath in my hair and most of all I can feel his heart beating against me, for once its not just a sound. Reminding me that maybe he is human after all. My heart feels like it found something it has been searching for, beating in unison till I drift off to sleep. Kylo pulling me closer.


	18. Chapter 18

** girlwith100names: I have been leaning towards a softer Kylo to establish their relationship, but I do miss his sadistic side lately. I was going to do this chapter a few chapters later, but I think it's much needed to bring at least some of his bad boy self back 😊

And to the guests, thank you 😉 I'll try to load at least a chapter every day or every other. **

Chapter 18: Water

I wake up to the sun shinning brightly thought the open archway to the patio. I don't feel Kylo is in the house. He feels really far away so I run down the stairs and look out the balcony towards the field. His ship is gone. He left me here and I can feel the connection is closed. I take the chance to start rummaging through the house for a transmitter of some sort, I must contact the resistance if they arnt dead already. In the last room of the downstairs I find an old hologram transmitter on a shelf, in a small black box. It needs a few twist and turns but the light still turns on. Quickly I punch in the information of the base, sending a distress signal to contact me as soon as they get it. I hold on to it tight and run back to the room, locking the door behind me and hiding in the bathroom.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP the light flickers and for the first time in about a month I see a normal face. They are still alive? I'm both relieved and worried. "Please quick, this is Rey from Jakku, I need to speak to the general right now!" The resistance fighters face turned as white as snow as he realized who I was.

"Right away ma'am," and the hologram shut down to power save mode. I sit on the bathroom floor shaking waiting to speak to the General. What am I going to tell her? The hologram flickers back on and I see the face of someone who has never left my mind.

"Finn? Oh my, FINN! Your alive. And walking? It's so good to see you! I don't have a lot of time to talk. Please listen to me. The Knights of Ren are planning an attack. Don't ask how I know, get everyone off D'qar and fast!" I ramble. Finns face still frozen at the sight of me.

"Rey, your alive? I can't believe your alive. What happened to you? Where are you? I'll come get you. Wherever you are. I'm not letting you back out of my sight."

"Luke's dead. Kylo captured me." I start sobbing. Wiping my running nose on the back of my hand.

"I know, the General felt the shift in the force. She went to retrieve his body and you weren't there. She has gone into hiding on another resistance base. No one could figure out where you were. I knew it had to be that son of a bitch. What has he done to you? How are you transmitting this? Where are you?"

"Somewhere on Naboo." I leave out the part of this being Darth Vaders house.

"What happened on Ach'To? I'm coming to get you Rey." He is squeezing the bridge of his nose. "I'm going to kill him."

"You can't Finn. He's will kill you before you even get close. He's more powerful now." I cringe as the idea of Kylo killing Finn. I can't let that happen. I have already lost so much. I feel a sudden shift in the force and know Kylo is coming back but the connection is still closed. "Listen to me Finn, I don't have a lot of time. Get everyone out of there. Please."

"I'm coming to get you." I cut the transmission off before he can say another word. What have I done? The general is safe for now, but Finn needs to hurry out of there. I run down the stairs just in time to see Kylo landing in the field, he still won't be back for awhile but I can't chance him finding out what I have done, but I have made it very clear I still fight for the Resistance so how could he expect anything different. I find the time to quickly shower and put on some fresh clothes that were left in the bathroom for me. Hiding the transmitter under some blankets in the wardrobe. Then the feelings come flooding back in as he opened the connection back up, causing me to get dizzy for a split second. He is so overwhelming.

 _Where have you been?_ Trying to keep my mind off Finn. I wait on the balcony till I see Kylo enter the field and get into the boat. Watching him as he makes his way to the house.

'Had to get supplies. I was letting you rest.' He moves so fast along the water, almost effortlessly. He reaches the dock and I hear him slowly walk up the stairs, he comes to a stop at the top step and stares at me, head cocked to the side. He wearing a black t shirt and those black pants I love. He obviously does not want to be recognized by the people in the close city.

"What's wrong Rey?" He walks over to me and grabs the sides of my arms. "What have you done?" His worry fills me, he is just staring into my eyes. "Rey... What did you do?"

"Nothing." But his hands squeeze my arms tighter.

"I know you've done something, it's all over your face., I don't need to be bonded to you to know." Images off Finn and the resistance pop into my head. Right then he turns his head like he hears a noise behind him. Turning back to me he narrows his eyes. "What did you do? Don't make me ask you again." His hands squeeze my arms so hard I'm starting to loose feeling in my hands.

"You keep thinking because we have this connection I'm going to fight for you. Well your wrong. I will never be a part of the destruction you are causing. I warned the resistance your knights are coming. They have a right to prepare themselves!"

He lets my arms go and steps back, and turns towards the lake. "You... did... what?"

"I thought that they were already dead, I didn't think anyone would actually respond to my transmission." Quickly he turns around and with a raise of just a finger he throws me over the railing into the lake. I sink deeper and deeper down. I don't know how to swim, I kick and fling my arms around viciously trying to swim towards the surface but it's slowly getting darker.

I manage to turn my body facing down and force push myself up to the surface for a split second, allowing me to gasp before I'm back under the water again. I quickly push myself up again and catch a quick glimpse of Kylo. He's standing on the edge of the dock near the boat. I go under again and push myself back up to see him lowering himself so his hand can reach the water. Then the waves start, I sink again but push myself up to catch a mouthful of water from an oncoming wave. The lake turned into a unsettled sea, waves crashing everywhere. A push of wave send me flying backwards, farther and farther with each passing one. It's getting harder to push myself up with the current forming and I can't catch a breath I keep swallowing water.

My back hits ground, and I'm laying on the edge of the far field from the house. I see Kylo rise and the water stills on an instant. His anger coursing through my veins as I throw up a stomach full of water. Wobbly, I stand up and turn towards the woods and start running. As fast as my legs would take me I run. I feel distance growing between us. He isn't chasing me. Yet. I try and run towards the ship but I can't find my way so I just keep running where my feet take me.

'You don't know what you have done scavenger.'

 _I'm not going to let you kill all those innocent people. Let me go!_

'Im going to get you and make you regret ever going against me'

I keep running as fast as I can. Slipping a few times in the mud. I have no idea where I am. The time seems to stand at a still, I have no sense of wear I am. The sky begins to darken and I decide to stop and rest for a minute. I must have gained distance on him, at least enough to catch a breath. The connection is open but silent. He must obviously know where I am, there is no chance of hiding. I get back up and keep running.

In the distance I hear what sounds like a ship. Oh no, he found me. As the sound grows louder it sounds to high pitch to be Kylos ship. I run as fast as I can till I stumble upon a clearing and stand at the edge. A pair of xwings fly overhead and I run out too the middle of he clearing and swing my arms around trying to catch someones attention. They fly around of overhead and one lowers and swoops around and circles around the field. The other keeps flying. I stand there, praying that the pilot recognizes me. Chances are very slim though, they might kill me on sight, I am wearing clothes from the first order.

The swing lowers to the ground and the pilots gets out, back to me and lowers down the ladder. Suddenly they start into a jog towards me. Frozen, I don't know if to run or be happy the resistance found me.

"Rey!" The pilot calls out, they reach up and remove their helmet.

"Finn?" I run towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. "I can't believe it, you found me. I don't know if I should be happy or angry you are here!" He pulls back holding me at arms length.

"Why wouldn't you be happy? I'm here to take you home. What has he done to you? What happened. I need to know everything. We were able to hack into the transmission and get a approximate location of you. I can't believe you are here, in this field." He embraces me in another tight hug.

"Your flying?"

"Poe showed me a few things in the last few week or so. I catch on fast. That's isn't the point Rey. Where have you been?" He just stands there, looking me over from head to toe. "Are you hurt? We need to leave."

"I can't come with you, you are in danger even being here Finn. He's going to come and kill you. I can't explain it to you, but he will be coming." I feel him closing in.

'Ahh the traitor'

"I'm not scared of him Rey. Come on, get in. I'll protect you. I promise." He grabs my hand and starts dragging me towards the xwing. But I pull my hand back.

"You need to leave. NOW. You should of never came." I plead with him with worried eyes. "Please Finn, trust me. It isn't safe around me." I embrace him in a tight hug.

"I am not leaving without you. Your crazy. Get in." He goes to grab my hand again but the hair on the back of my neck stands up and I turn around.

"Where do you think your going scavenger!" I hear his voice but he is not where to be seen, which is more frightening than if he was standing in the field with us. I turn towards Finn whose eyes are wide and his mouth open. He grabs my hand and starts pulling me towards the xwing once more. "She isn't going anger with you FN-2187." And then I see him, slowly walking into the farthest point in the field. From the shadows he emerges, lightsaber in hand. Ready to attack. He looks at our hands and swings his saber around in his hand like he's ready to launch.

"Let me go Kylo." I plead. Knowing damn well he won't actually let me leave. At least not without a fight. Finn positions himself in front of me, ready to fight. He pulls a unique lightsaber from a large pocket in his suit. It doesn't surprise me he has one. You cant bring a gun to a lightsaber fight.

'I'll kill him if you don't come with me.' My hand shoots to Finns shoulder and I stand in front of him looks at him.

"This is not a fight you can win Finn, please. Run. And don't come looking for me." Tears swell in my eyes. This man has done nothing but come for me, twice. And here I am pushing my only friend away for the enemy.

"Traitor! I was wondering when you would come back for a rematch." Kylo yelled.

Finn brushes past me and charges for Kylo. I tried to stop him but all I can do is watch, I have no weapon. Kylo lunges for Finn, their lightsabers meet above their heads and all I see is red and orange. Swinging from side to side. In run towards them but with a push of the force Kylo throws me back. Finn is fighting for his life, I quickly get to my feet and start running back towards them. But Kylo throws me back again. He is so skilled that Finn stands no chance. Their lightsabers twirling in the air with the hues of a setting sun. Finn goes for a quick right jab but Kylo is to fast and with the downward motion of his arm Finns arm is severed from the elbow down. He falls to his knees screaming out in agony. Kylo raises his saber in a last effort to end Finns life but with every ounce of energy I have I raise my arm and I freeze him. Surprising myself. I heave in and out, teeth clenched, brows creased trying to focus on holding in there.

 _You let him live I will come back with you._

I don't know how much longer I can hold them. My body is giving out, my energy depleting. I can't take my eyes off Finn, he is crying out in pain. Only thing saving his life is the fact a lightsaber wound cauterizes on contact.

'I kill him you come back with me'

 _You would have to kill me first._

'Fine'

I release him and he instantly powers off his lightsaber. I collapse to my knees with no energy left my vision start to darken at the edges. Kylo leans over to Finn and I strain to hear what he says.

"Next time I see you, you won't be so lucky." He stand up and walks over to me. He leans down and whispers in my ear, "This is all your fault." I look up to meet his gaze, tears falling.

 _I know_ He puts his arm around my back to lift me just enough to put his other arm under my knees. I turn my head to see Finn crying and just staring at me. I hear the faint sound of the other xwing circling around. I mouth "I'm sorry" before Kylo turns into the woods and I give in to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Whiskey

I wake up back in the gold wooden bed. My legs are soar and bruised. My arms have multiple cuts and bruises. My clothes ripped and dirty. It's dark out, the stars shine so bright from here. I look over the balcony to the path leading up to the meadow. I wish I was in the meadow right now, away from what awaits me for what I have done. The first thing I want to do is shower. I'm not surprised by the set of new clothes on the counter. I shower fast, the water stinging all my fresh cuts. I need to check for the transmitter. I rush to the wardrobe, The transmitter is gone. I drop my head back. Kylo is going to for sure kill me. And Finn, he is never going to forgive me. I close the wardrobe and head for downstairs. Creeping down the stairs I sense Kylo is out outside. I walk as quietly as possible till I am standing in the middle of the patio. The night breeze is crisp, sending chills down my back.

 _How much trouble am I in?_

'Alot' he's leaning against a pillar, levitating a glass above his hand, it's spinning counterclockwise. Hes refusing to look at me. Hes wearing everything but his mask. I take another step forward but he puts his other hand out and freezes me in place. He drops the glass slowly into his hand and finishes the amber color liquid and sets the glass down on top of the railing. His eyes shoot to mine. His face ridged. He starts circling me, "Do you have any idea what your little stunt cost me. Supreme Leader is not pleased with you." He continues to circle me, looking at the floor. "I don't know what he is going to do. He might have me kill you. Which I actually want to do right now. You somehow managed to find my grandmothers secret transmitter, i dont know how you found it but you did. When my Knights arrived, more than half the base had fled. The General of coarse was no were to be found!" He's getting angry, his fist clenched. He stops right in front of mean , straitens himself to tower as much as he can over me. He unfreezes me.

I let out a long sigh and take a few steps back. Crossing my arms letting him know that I don't care. He turns around and summons the glass to his hand. Walking past me back into the house. I just stand there, overlooking the water. He almost killed me in there, he probably was trying to.

"You almost killed me." I say. I don't know if he can hear me. After a few moments he's back with a refilled glass. His chest brushed my arm as he came and stood next to me, looking down at me.

"I was expecting you to drown." His eyes as cold as ice. "But it doesn't surprise me that you managed to survive. You are getting more powerful by the day. More wise, but your still a stupid girl." He steps back and takes a few sips of the amber color liquid and turning his attention back to the lake.

 _One by the hand of the enemy._ I quote, frowning. _Your my enemy_.

"You paint this horrible image of me, that im holding you prisoner. Have I not shown you some respect the past few weeks. But this is your fault, your precious FN-2187..."

"FINN!" I cut him off.

"I should of killed him along time ago. The traitor. You brought them here when I told you what would happen if you went to them. I know where you are at all times. If you like it or not." He turns his head to give me a quick glance, my body frozen from fright. "Regardless of who you are, you will be my biggest weakness. Look at you, a helpless scavenger who cant even control her powers yet. Why the universe picked YOU to be bound to me, I dont know!" He whips his glass, shattering it and the rest of its contents against a pillar. "Look where we are Rey! This place called to you just as much as it called to me! Why do you continue to protect them? You are suppose to be here with me! I dont know what to do with you. If you wont join me... im going to have to kill you. This time I wont let you live. I cant have my orders being leaked to the resistance again!"His shoulders heaving up and down with each breath, anger overwhelming me. He turns and heads back inside. He stops at the doorway, "We need to leave at dawn to go back to the destroyer. Supreme Leader is expecting us." And hes gone.

What have I done. I lower my head and just shut my eyes. The breeze nipping along my many cuts. I ruined any chance of escape.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Deja' Vu

We arrived late last night without a word between us the whole trip. I know I messed up big time. Now Im standing in front of the wall of windows in the white room again. It feels as though I never left. Last time I was here I was waiting for Kylo to walk me to my execution. Now im sure he is walking me strait to my execution again. I pull my cloak closer around me, its a welcoming warmth. Wrapping my arms around myself. Kylo closed the connection. No doubt to stop me from nagging him with questions about Snokes plans for me. Tears flow down my cheeks. The door slides open and I hear his footsteps approach me, I dont need to feel him to know its him.

"Its time." His mechanical voice echos. I use my sleeve to wipe the tears from my face. I keep my head down as I turn to pass him and walk towards the door. But Kylo puts his arm in front of stomach causing me to run into it. I dont look up. "Dont talk unless spoken to." He lowers his arm and walks 2 steps in front of me the whole way to the black corridor. When we get in front of the doors I start breaking out into a cold sweat. The force radiating from behind the door is like nothing I have ever felt before. Its oozing darkness. Its different this time. Kylo only stares at me through his mask. Is he as scared as I am? I cant reach him through our bond. I hate that he can block me out so easily.

The door slides open. At the end of the isle on top the pedestal there is a blacked cloaked figure facing the opposite way, hiding his face. I dont move, just stand in the doorway frozen in fear. Kylos hand touches the small of my back and proceeds to guide me forward till we reach the top of the steps. He takes a knee and I follow suit. The cloaked figure turns around but I dont look up, I know what im going to see. I close my eyes as tight as I can. I feel kylo stand, touching my shoulder signaling to stay down. I wouldnt stand even if he told me to. This is Dej' Vu, except this time it isnt a giant hologram, its real.

"Supreme Leader. I had the situation under control. Your presence here was unneeded. " Kylo states. Is he defending me? Im sure he isnt.

"Kylo Ren, I will tell you when my presence is necessary or not. I have come to personally have a chat with your new apprentice on the rules and consequences of the First Order. To ensure her punishment is seen fit." I keep my eyes closed tightly. Shaking. "Stand girl."

I quickly rise to my feet. I open my eyes but refuse to look up. From under my eyelashes I watch as his alien grey skelton looking hand reach for my face. I close my eyes again, his finger grazes my cheek for a split second. His hands cold and coarse. I force myself to not turn my head away in disgust. Afraid to add more punishment to my crimes.

"Such a waste. Tisk Tisk Tisk." He says, each time he slaps his tongue on his teeth my insides quiver. He just stands in front of me. "I have been trying to decide what I see acceptable for the fact you committed treason against the First Order. I see Kylo Ren is not teaching you very well if he did not warn you about the punishment you face if you were to do so. So Rey of Jakku, fight for your life." From inside his cloak he emerges with Lukes Lightsaber, holding it out for me to grab.

"Supreme Leader, I hardly think she is ready for a rematch." Snokes head snaps to Kylo.

"My dear boy, she wont be fighting you. She will be fighting the Knights you have expertly trained. Lets see how well she has been listening" My eyes spring open and I look between Kylo and Snoke. Kylo has barley trained me at all. Actually he has tried showing off more than anything. Snoke is grinning from ear to ear, a nasty grin. Highlighting all his suken in features. Something you only see in nightmares. "If you survive, you may continue training with Kylo Ren. But if you fail... well you will be dead so... dont fail me. You are still of value to me."

From behind the throne above us emerge 6 black statue looking men. All tall and broad with different masks, different types of cloaks, and all have a different type of weapons all staring right at me. The men from the memory Kylo shared with me in the training room. I look at Kylo who lowers his head in submission to the Supreme Leader. Snoke takes a few steps back and tosses me the lightsaber. I almost dont catch it.

"Begin" He states. And the knights start making their way towards me. At a lost of what to do I turn and run towards the door but am swept off my feet by a bola. Sending me flying off the isle down onto the ground, I fall inbetween some chairs. I raise my hand force pushing a large section of chairs away from me. Making way for whatever is about to come. I ignite my saber and cut the bola off from around my ankles. Quickly I get to my feet in time to dodge a swing from an oncoming ax. I send the knight flying a few feet but just in time to dodge a swing from a oncoming sword from another knight. I am highly outnumbered. I roll back and raise my hand, pushing one more knight away. From my side a knight lunges at me with a large mace. I find my center balance and duck just in time to swing my lightsaber up and sever the spiked ball from its handle. The knight stops and steps away. I climb back onto the isle and jump down to the other side, running towards a knight now. In his left hand he hold a scythe. He swings it down, missing just enough that I slide between his legs but come face to face with another night. In his hand he hold a long sword, being able to sense his movement before he makes it I dodge him under a nearby long table and his sword crashes down on it above me.

Suddenly I feel Kylo open the connection. Hes angry and worried. But his eagerness is what stands out the most. 'Get angry Rey. Allow the anger and hate consume you!' and then he shut the connection back off.

I do as he says. I hate that im here, in this situation, fighting for my life just to continue living life as his pet soulmate. The force around me shifts and I push my hand up and all the tables and chairs around me go flying upwards. Sending chairs and tables come crashing back down along with two knights. They lay shocked on the floor. The other 3 knights still in play start charging for me, jumping over the barrier of chairs and tables to the clearing I newly formed around me. The circle me, one takes a step forward but before he can take another step I freeze him, sticking up my other hand I summon the metal spike ball from the floor and it flies past me right into the leg of the frozen knight. 2 down.

I gain a new sense of confidence and lower myself to the ground, centering my balance again. Thinking about everything I hate in my life. I feel different when im angry. I feel powerful. The remaining knights take turns trying to hit me, but my speed is no match for them. I slide in and out of attacks. My lightsaber is useless when im trying to out move them. I see two standing in the perfect position that I find myself in the middle as they both swing at the saber, their blades to my surprise clink against my saber. I cant believe what im seeing. Their blades seem to be resistant of the lightsaber. Vigorously I am stuck fighting in between two knights. Turning around in circles to meet each of their blades. My eye catches the left foot of the one knight and I squat and spin tripping him, just in time to reach my saber to crash up and repel the taller bulkier ones sword. I push him across the floor. The knight behind me rises and my eyes lock onto his sword and I will it to my hand, with every might of me I just think of it in my hand and its there. The knight freezes in shock. I turn and between sheer strength I throw it and it sinks into the one knights shoulder. He stumbles back and falls. 4 down 2 to go.

The other two charge from my left and right. Lowering myself to the floor and closing my eyes I shift the force around me and when the knights are inches from impact, I push out. The two knights go flying backwards.

'Enough!" Supreme Leader yells. I stand there, my fist clenched so hard Im drawing blood my other disengaded the lightsaber, holding it tight. I look directly at Kylo, hes standing on the platform, hands behind his back. I feel his eyes burning into me. My body starts to shake from the adrenaline, I have never done anything like that before. It was unexpected and felt felt so wrong, but right. I look around me. All knights now standing behind me. Despite injuries they stand tall, Knights of Ren are to not show pain, they thrive on pain. "Kylo Ren, escort this girl back to her room. Iv seen enough."

Kylo jumps down to the lower part of the floor where im standing. "Lets go before you do something we both are going to regret." He motions for me to walk away, he lingers behind for a moment to acknowledge the good work of his Knights. He walks behind me, putting his hand on the small of my back, pushing me into a faster pace than I want to walk. My hands clasps together in front on me, my head down, as we climb onto the isle and proceed to walk back to the room.

As soon as we are out of the black hallway, he grabs my hand and pulls me into a running pace till we are standing in the room. He removes his mask with such a quick motion my eyes dont even keep up, he throws it on the floor. He opens the connection and his feelings come flooding in. My eyes close. It never gets easier to feel what he feels. But its like a drug I cant get enough of. I crave being connected to him.

His eyes searching mine. Hes arms length away.

"I dont know what happened. I just got angry and all that came out of nowhere. I cant believe im alive." My eyes drop to my hands. The adrenaline wearing off. Making me dizzy. Suddenly Kylos hands are on my neck, his thumbs holding my jaw. He slowly picks my head up. His eyes staring into me. He sets his forehead against mine. Closing his eyes.

"Its the things we love the most that destroy us." He whispers and sighs. Grabbing the lightsaber from my hand and his helmet from the floor. And he turns and leaves the room. Im standing alone in the white room. I turn around looking around at this prison, I sink to my knees. I survived to live another day.

 ****This was really fun for me to write, I hope everyone envisioned it they way I did. Rey is starting to become more powerful. Is she turning dark? I wonder what powers she will soon learn.. :) ****


	21. Chapter 21

****I am so happy to see people enjoy this story! I still have so much to tell. Short chaptrs are just as important as long ones****

Chapter 21: Human

The next few hours I ponder around the room trying to keep myself busy waiting for some word if Kylo is coming back tonight. Deciding the only thing I could do was retreat back to rereading the Force Bonds book. I quickly flip to the page of the two black figures. Running my fingers over the picture, I feel like its calling to me. The feeling makes my stomach knot. The smaller figures lightsaber is alluring. I close my eyes and picture how it would feel to wield such a weapon. I remember a story I heard when I was little from some villagers, that duel lightsabers where strictly said to be sith created. Could I ever truly fight for the Supreme Leader and with Kylo? I thought I was suppose to be the Light, I cant give in now. I need to find a way to leave this place. I refuse to give up. I shut the book and put it back. I know Kylos coming, I feel him. I wait in front of the windows and watch the stars.

He enters the room and walks over to me. His body inches from mine and he tilts his mask to look down at me. "Supreme Leader was impressed, as was I. I knew you had it in you. I just didnt think it was going to take all my Knights to bring it out or I would of done that in the beginning. I keep telling you about what power you have. Its undeniably strong." He looks back out the window. "Anger suits you. You act like your ready to accept death, but your fight like you have something to live for."

I throw my hands up. "Oh yeah, being lead to your execution by the man who claims we are soulmates. Your a monster." I yell and stomp off to the other side of the room. I start walking back and forth between the walls. "I dont even know how I survived honestly."

"Because you were confident and not scared."

"How come you opened the connection to help me?"

"If I would have opened the connection and kept it open, you would of been distracted and Supreme Leader would have noticed. I am not allowed to interfere in his orders. If he find out who you are to me he will force me to kill you myself. Right now, you are still disposable to him. But you earned yourself another chance, something Supreme Leader does not give out lightly."

"Im never joining the Dark Side." I state.

"You cant go back to resistance. Now I will warn you again what will happened if you alert them. I wont be so kind to spare them, ANY of them that come for you. And Supreme Leader wont allow you another chance."

"Why? Why wont you just let me go. Ill never be happy here being your pet soulmate. Ill never be happy with you!" Im lying to myself. Being with him, safe and protected, feels right. Even if I am scared of him, I am drawn to him.

"Are you denying that your called to this?" He removes his helmet and sets it on the bed and walks over to me. "Are you denying what you feel?"

He slowly walks over to me, like hes stalking his prey. His eyes dark and needing.

"I feel used. But when your not around I miss you. I cant see the end of this. All this time is passing by and I cant seem to tell you why but it hurts me every time I see you. Because I realize how much I need you. And that scares me. I dont want to join the dark side. I dont want you to kill me."

He wastes no time and grabs my face and kisses me. His leather gloves soft and warm against my cool skin. Its not like in the meadow, this is different. Its like he needs it just as much as I do. His one hand moves down my neck and over my shoulder till it sprawls out on my back, pulling me towards him. There has never been a moment in my life where I craved this as much as I do now. His body molding to mine. His kiss is deep, his tongue searching my mouth, his lips soft and full. He lets out a slight moan and his fingers press harder into the curve of my back, his other hand pulling my face closer. My hands on his chest, i slowly reach up to his face and my fingers trail up the back of his neck into his thick black hair. He pulls back and gasps. His eyes remained closed as he soaks in the feeling. He shifts his head to kiss me from the other side. And for a few moment I forget who he is, just relishing in his embrace. He pulls away just to lean his forehead against mine.

"Ill never fight for you." I whisper.

"Well see." He pulls back and walks to retrieve his helmet.

"You say your going to kill me but you want me to live? I dont want you to be the one who does it." I tell him. My heart racing still. I close my eyes, missing his touch already.

 _I bleed when I fall down. I crash and I break down. Your words in my head echo in my heart. You build me up and when you leave my mind, I fall apart. Cause I'm only human._ His face freezes for a second when he listens to my words. Then he hides behind his mask again. He walks back over to me and he runs his gloved fingers along my jaw, my eyes close instinctively. I cant deny that I enjoy his touch.

"I am human too. Just an indestructible one."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Pods

I don't understand this guy, one second I'm just a weakness, but when he lets his guard down he makes me feel like I'm the only one in the whole galaxy. I don't understand why Kylo keeps turning the connection off when he leaves the room. I wonder what bases he is planning on blowing up. But this gives me an opening to search for the inner panel of the controls for the door. Along the wall I find it and pop it open. First thing I do is count the wires and scan the colors, I could pop the door open but I can't imagine how far I would get before Kylo senses Iv tried escaping. Also, what would I escape on. I drop the wires and rest my back against the wall, sitting on the floor I scream out loud.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" There is no way off this damn thing. I remember the hanger layout from old ships I have scavenged. There has to be an escape pod on this ship somewhere and I know Kylo is preoccupied. I can probably escape to a close planet if I can figure out a way to keep the connection closed when if he tries reopening it. I can make a transmitter from ship parts and communicate the resistance once I land.

"Ehh, I'll wing it." I roll back over to my knees in front of the panel and click a few wires together and the door pops open. This will teach him not keep shutting me out. The silver stormtropper outside the door jumps in surprised. With a wave of my hand I send him flying. I scurry to my feet and pull the hood of my cloak up so I can hide my face from anyone who shall see me. I know Kylo isn't to close, I would feel his energy radiating off him, calling to me. I shake my head at the thought of what he is going to do when he finds out I have gotten loose. But if I can take on his 6 Knights I can take on a few stormtroopers. I make my way down some halls, trying to remember the way to the med bay. There has to be some pods somewhere on this floor. I can vaguely remember any way around this place. Sweat developers on my forehead, waiting for the moment Kylo will open the connecting and yell at me. But for now it's silent. Besides his steady heartbeat.

I keep running until I hear voices ahead. I freeze and duck down. Not like it's going to stop someone from seeing me, but it just makes me feel better in case I need to attack. I feel I have more control when I'm lowered to the ground. The noise comes from a hallway off the corridor I'm in. The voices stop and walk in the opposite direction.

From behind me I hear a voice, "Hey, you aren't allowed down here!" I turn around quickly to a group of 4 stormtroopers.

I stand up and I look them over from under my hood. I hold up two fingers, pressed firmly together and with as much determination as I could I spoke, "You did not see anything down here. You will turn around and speak of this to no one." The four stormtroopers straiten up and turn around and walk away.

"That was close" I whisper to myself. I keep walking till I come across a fork in the road. Two hallways, identical in appearance. I don't know what way to go. So I turn right and follow the hall till two stormtroppers turn down the corridor and im face to face with two more white soldiers of Ren. I roll my eyes and force push them both out of the way, knocking them out cold on impact. I keep running and to my surprise I soon find myself standing in the room with 2 small doors and a desk with various controls stands alone in the middle of the room.

"No way." I'm standing in front of two escape pods. It almost seems to easy and I'm mad at myself for not trying this the first few nights. I run to the table in the middle of the room, controls look fairly simple. I am able to open up one of the doors and I run, almost stumbling, into the pod and close the door behind me once I enter. The pod is small. Only enough room for one. I flick a few switches and the pod roars to life. Shaking with anxiety, I can't wait to get off this place. Away from Kylo. I need to be away from him and his Knights, even if I only put a gap between us. He will at least have to try and catch up to me. I take a few deep breaths and switch the launch switch and the pod shoots from the ship into dead space. Towards a nearby planet. I look back towards the destroyer. They didn't shoot me down, yet.

The pod speeds faster and faster to the green planet below.

What have I done, escaped one doom to be lost on another? I dont know what type of danger awaits me down there. I drop my head back, this is impossible. Kylo is going to obviously come for me and I can only imagine the consequences. He has to know what im doing already, and he hasnt come for me. He warned me what would happen. Hes probably planning my demise right now. The planet getting larger and larger as the pod hits atmosphere. I dont even know if I can breath the air here. Suddenly, I regret my decision.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Cavern

The pod speeds faster and faster towards the planet, I quickly start flipping on the proper landing gear and try and slow the pod. Except the pod wont slow down. Quickly fear takes over me, the pod is malfunctioning. I pull the seat straps around me as tight as they will go and brace for ejection, I dont know if I will die as soon as the hatch opens because I have no idea what awaits out there. I close my eyes and press the ignite button. Everything goes black.

The bright light blinds me before my eyes open, but I know im alive. I reach my hands up to undo the straps by memory because I cant see still. I open my eyes slowly as the bright light is still shinning in my eyes. I roll out of the chair and face first onto the hard surface. Picking my head up and propping myself on my elbows, I open my eyes all the way and find myself staring at dirt. I look strait ahead and there are large green bushes and trees that tower over me creating a canopy, except the broken branches from my fall. Letting a beam of light in directly landing on me. I roll out of the sun onto my back. My whole body hurts. I focus for a few minutes on my breathing and slowly work my muscles into working again.

Suddenly Kylo opens up the connection, his emotions run through me like a sip of cold water on a hot day. Anger, frustration, and irritation. I close my eyes trying to force him out, I push back trying to stop him from scolding me like a child. Using all my energy I push him out, I let out a gasp. I did it, I forced him out not allowing him to access my mind anymore atleast. He still knows where I am. Exhaustion taking over me.

When I come to again the sun is still shinning through the canopy of trees. I roll to my stomach and push myself up. Looking around me, its the same in every direction. I need to get to higher ground and locate the pod to send a distress signal to the resistance. I only know the information for the base on D'qar. I hope someone is still there, but I doubt it. Why didnt I think of this before? I just start walking strait but the canopy doesn't allow much light in anywhere and the forest grows darker and darker the farther I walk. I turn back around and stand at the ejected seat.

"Good Job Rey, What now?" I question myself outloud. Maybe allowing Kylo to come get me would be better than dieing in these woods.

"No" I frown, I can do this on my own. I need to put distance in between us. The air around me cools down and the sun stars darkening. A storm? I remind myself I know nothing of this planet. Including weather conditions and predators. And I have no lightsaber. I feel Kylo pushing against the wall I put up, I push back. I wont allow him to torment me right now. He is still the enemy!

From behind me some branches crack as something moves closer and closer to me. I can see anything in the dark forest around me. I hold my hand up ready to force push whatever I see. But nothing appears. From my left some more branchs crack and I hold my other hand up in that direction.

"Put your arms down child. I am not here to hurt you. Only help." A deep voice calls out from beyond where I can see. I dont drop my arms, but hold my stance. From the darkness emerges an old man with a beard as white as snow that hangs to his hands. His hair long and white, his clothes old and torn and his skin sagging and wrinkly. His eyes so blue they are almost white. "I saw you crash and came to see the carnage. I wasnt expecting to find someone alive. Let alone standing, you must have a powerful guardian angel. Are you with the First Order?"

The mans seems genuin so I drop my arms and straiten up. "I belong to no such thing!" I go to wipe my hands on my cloak but look up and make eye contact with him. Its the cloak and black clothes. I defiently look first order. "Its not safe for you to be around me mister."

"Oh child, do not worry about me. Come, a storm is brewing. I am not far from here. You look like you have been through alot. I can clean your wound." He points to my head, I hadent even notices the blood trailing down my face from a cut above my eyebrow. He motions with his hand for me to follow him. "Stay close, it gets dark. Oh, and stay quiet. There are things out here you dont wanna be awakening." I walk behind the man, my front to his back, at one point i put my hand on his shoulder because I couldnt see anything. I pull my hood up around my face shielding me from the cool breeze. In the distance there is a small orange glow. Its faint and hard to see, I almost sprint towards it but stay close behind this man. He knows what hes doing.

Kylo is still pushing against my wall, but I focus on pushing back. I cant let him through. The closer the light gets I can see more detail, its flickering off the walls inside a small cavern. From behind me a loud screech echos through the woods. Sending chills down my spine.

"Hurry, come." The man quickens his pace till we are inside of the cavern, the glow from a small firepit in the center of the cave. "They are afraid of light. Spent so long in the dark."

"Why didnt they attack when we were out there." I ask, i sit next to the fire warming myself up.

"Because they have good sight but horrible hearing." He walks over to grab a rag and a bucket off a small table. He sits down next to me and dips the cloth in the water and proceeds to clean my forehead.

"Is it just you here mister?" I ask. This old man reminds me of myself back on Jakku, all alone.

"Yes. It wasnt always like this though. I was once a young man with a charming wife. She was my everything. So beautiful." He lowers his hand for a moment, probably thinking of her face. And it saddens me that I asked him anything. "We were just going to land here to take a break from our endeavor but our ship malfunctioned during our decent and we ended up not far from here. Me and her lived in this cave for many days. She became pregnant but unexpectedly her and child died during childbirth. Hes turns his attention to two dirt mounds on the far side of the cave. One much much smaller than the other. He looks back at me and continues cleaning my wound. Such a tender old man. "I have been here, waiting to join her and my daughter in the afterlife. But I guess my body isnt ready to go."

"You loved her?" My question came out so quick. I have never talked to someone about love like this before.

"I didnt deserve her, she was to good for me. But we were soulmates." His words make me flinch and he notices. He lowers his arm again and gets up to go back to the table and grabs a handful of leaves and comes back to sit next to me. "Eat." And he turns watching the fire dance. "No matter where I go, Ill feel empty. So I prefer to stay. Luckily I did, or you would of been food for the forest creatures by nightfall." His words hang in my mind. Empty. Until now I didnt realize how empty I felt being so closed off to Kylo. I can still hear his heart beating and I slightly smile. But I cant give in now. The storm outside is loud, wind howling and rain pouring down through the canopy of trees. The old man adds a few more logs to the fire.

"Tomorrow we will go find your ship so you can communicate to whomever you need to. There has to be someone looking for you that is waiting to hear your alive." He says. Little does he know how much danger me being here puts him in.


	24. Chapter 24

**oh yes Bb-8, that will be very soon! I promise 😊 **

Chapter 24: Noise

My eyes shoot open, I fell asleep allowing the wall to open and Kylo sprung into my head before I could block him out

'Your alive! Dammit Rey. Your lucky I caught on before they shot your Pod down! I am coming to get you. Do you have any idea what planet you are on?'

 _You don't own me!_ The old man startles while watching the flame, alert of my sudden anger. My hands dig into the dirt of the cavern floor and I close my eyes and lower my head, trying to force Kylo back out but he's fighting back hard.

'Do you really want to die out there? Maybe I should leave you out there and let the creatures get you. Who are you with?' I fight back, holding my ground and push even harder at him. Fear washes over me. I don't want to die out here. 'I'm coming to get you, if you like it or not. That's not up for discussion!' He then blocks me out. I release my grip on the ground and hesitantly look at the old man. I must look crazy.

"Can you point me in the way of where you saw my ship crash? You don't need to come with me. It would be better if I was far away from you when help comes." I plead with him. Trying to spare his life. "Please."

"So you are with the first order?" He look confused.

"No no, it's much more complicated than that. I have been their prisoner for some time and I escaped. They will come for me and he will spare no one who stands in his way." I stand up and walk towards the edge of the cave, looking into the dark woods. Some light shines through cracks in the leaves. Enough that I could find my way if pointed in the right direction.

"Hmmm, he? Is their a reason he hasn't killed you yet?" The old man stands and walks over to me.

"He finds me valuable I guess", I glance at the man face to see if I should tell him this, his features dimly lit from the fire. "He keeps saying he will kill me if I become a weakness to him, I guess you could say we are called to each other. But I have defied him twice now and I still don't think he's going to kill me. But you sir, would just be standing in his way. I can't have your life on my hands. Thank you for saving me. Please, can you just point me in the way." I need to put space between me and the old man.

"If you walk along that faint path you will find it, not to far but about half a days walk. You better hurry though, it will soon storm again and the creatures come out then", he points towards a almost undetectable path in between the trees. "But child, why do you keep running from something that calls to you?"

"Because he's dark and I am not. I don't agree with anything he is doing and... and... I can't stop feeling what I feel. And it scares me." I take a step outside the cave and turn back giving him one more look.

"Be safe, stay low and quiet. And child, may the force be with you." And he turns and walks back in the cavern. Quickly I make my way down the path, I break out into a sprint and try to make my way to the pod as quick as possible. The destroyer isn't far from the planet so Kylo will be here soon no doubt. I feel the force around me shifting and the connection opens back up, this time I don't try and stop him. Will there ever be a time I can't close him out?

'Where is your new friend to protect you?' He can tell I'm on the run, adrenaline pumping through me. Glad I left that kind old man behind. Kylo would have slaughtered him on the spot. I refuse to answer him. I know hes on the ground, somewhere on the planet, I can feel him. From behind me a high pitch screech sends me to my knees, covering my ears. The sound was so close I could almost feel it. I get up as fast as I can and run as fast as I can. Not daring to look behind me. For once I pray Kylo is close. I press my eyes closed tightly for a second and force myself to turn around, flinging myself onto my back and sending out a push from my hand at whatever is behind me.

I turn around to be face to face with a creature with black fur, long arms that allow it to swing in between the trees, he has a large snout and large bulging eyes as red as blood. He is much larger than I am. His one hand could fit around my waist and snatch me if he wanted. But what my attention went to was his multiple rows of sharp razor teeth. My push sent him flying far enough I couldnt see him anymore but could hear faint whimpers. I get up off the ground and start backing up. My hand still up in case he comes back. Within two steps I hit something hard. I spin around.

"KYLO!" I wrap my arms around him, pulling my head into his chest. And I start sobbing. I am so relieved he is here. He wraps his arms around me, his cold helmet touches my cheek as he bends down embracing me. "I... am... sorry. I will never... try that... again." I say in between sobs. He ignites his saber.

"We need to get out of here. Now." He takes my hand and starts running. Within minutes I see the carnage of my pod under rays of sunlight. Its totally destroyed. I wouldnt of been able to make a transmitter out of it and what if I hadnt hit the ejection button, I would be nothing but a puddle. This whole trip was pointless. I pull kylos arm back to pause for a second. Kylo stopped and looked at the pod and then back at me. "What were you going to do once you got here. If I didnt come you would be dead for sure in just a few hours. We need to keep moving, my ship isnt far. But a storm is coming and I want to get off this god forsaken place."

"I was going to contact the resistance and have them come get me. Now that I think of it, it was quite foolish." I look at him, not being able to gauge his reaction. I feel his disapproval.

"MM, yes it was. But maybe this time we can keep this between us since I dont see you doing this again. You could have been killed." He says.

"A broken heart would be unlimited power. Isnt that what you ultimately want?"

"Not anymore." He squeezes my hand tighter and starts leading me back to his ship.

 _I dont want to go back to the destroyer._ I plead with him.

'We arnt going back there yet. I need to take you somewhere under the radar for while. Supreme Leader is still aboard the Destroyer, he is appointing a new general. Thats why I was so distracted I didnt notice you escaping at first. I need to keep a closer eye on you.' He quickens his pace. Another screech from behind us sends us running as fast as we can to his ship, dodging in and out of trees. Sometimes the only light is the red glow from his saber. I see his ship in the distance, but I cant run any faster. Suddenly something catches my leg sending me face first to the ground. I roll over on my back and its the creature from before. I try to force push him off but his one long claw on one of his grimy fingers is dig deep into my calf, causing searing pain. Kylo comes from the side and with one swift motion the beast head goes flying off, his body falling at my feet and his head rolling away and landing eyes open looking at me.

I cry out, its claw is still stuck deep in my calf. Kylo kneels and pulls the large hand away from my foot and slowly pulls the claw out, blood quickly pools around the wound and my foot starts going numb. He turns his mask in my direction, I hate that thing. Not being able to see his face. He picks me up under my legs and back and carries me to the ship, still clutching his lightsaber in one hand. Over looking his shoulder once to see if anymore are following. The ramp lowers and once on the ship with the door closed I let out a long breath that I feel like I have been holding in since I landed. Blood dripping from my fresh wound.

"I cant heal this till we are off this stupid planet. Just stay still, your loosing alot of blood." He sets me down on the ground slowly and rushes to turn on the ignition and leave this place. And so am I. Suddenly I am really sleepy, Kylo looks back at me. "Dont fall asleep. Hold..." But my eyes close and I drift.


	25. Chapter 25

**This is my favorite chapter ever, the way I imagined it is really amazing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. (Dont worry, dark Kylo comes back... I love them both) I wonder if anyone will catch on to the song that inspired this 😊"

Warning, M+ rating***

Chapter 25: Stay

I open my eyes to a familiar bright room. I'm back on Naboo, in the gold wooden bed. Im actually happy to be here. My eyes scan the room and fall upon the balcony, I can see Kylo leaning against the railing. He's staring at the glass spinning with amber liquid. He looks flustered. I sit up and the fluffy white blanket pools in my lap, the shuffling gets Kylos attention. He sets the glass down in his hand and walks into the room placing it on the vanity table. The way he moves about is different, he's almost cautious. Not making eye contact with me. He sits in a chair that is facing the bed. Was that always there?

He puts his ankle over his knee and leans back in the chair. His thumb and forefinger rubbing his chin. "Do you have any idea what I went through when you landed on that planet and you managed to block me out. I knew you weren't dead but I also knew what danger you were in."

"Since when do you care what happens to me?" I am puzzled. He wants me dead, this should of been a blessing in disguise.

"This may come as a shock," he chuckles to himself and closes his eyes. When he reopens them they are softer looking. Like he looks worried. "Iv always care about what happened to you."

I let out a small involuntary nervous chuckle. "I doubt that."

"Do you know how healing works?" He asks, he still looks like a stone statue in the chair. He's wearing his black shirt and the pants I love. Black does suit him.

"No." I say softly.

"Compassion. You can't heal without having compassion for that person. It's a light gift." His eyes searching mine for my response. My mind flickers of all the times he healed me. The med bay, after General Hux, I pull the blanket off my leg... And now. I just look at him.

"Where you ever going to kill me?" I can't stop looking at his eyes. I don't see them enough.

"I wouldn't of been able to. You have to understand, Supreme Leader can't know about us. This is forbidden in any Jedi/Sith code. You need to be afraid of me." He looks at my leg and smiles and then looks at me." He sighs, "You bring good to my lonely life honestly. It's hard for me to look into your eyes when I say I would be nothing without your love. I feel the rush and it's amazing."

His words make my heart flutter, is he confessing his love for me? Do I love this man back?

His eyes darken alittle, with desire. "Maybe I've been always destined to end up in this place, yeah I don't mean to come off selfish, but I want it all. Love will always be a lesson, let's get out of its way. Cause I know, all I know, is I want to be with you in every way. Im drawn to you."

He gets up from the chair and walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed. His fingers trail up my exposed calf.

He continues because I'm to stunned to talk. His touch warming my skin. "I'm a prisoner to my addiction. I'm addicted to a life that's so empty and so cold. I'm a prisoner to my decisions, never allowed to make my own. For once I want to be in control of something."

I finally find the will to talk. "I think I've been on Jakku for too long. Cause I can feel my soul burning, feel it burning slow whenever your around. But I would be nothing without your touch. I feel the rush and it's amazing, hmm." I close my eyes and soak in the feeling of his fingers on my calf. "I don't know. I get so wrapped up in a world where nothing's as it seems. And real life is stranger than my dreams, hmm." His hand wraps around my calf and he pulls me to him. My eyes spring open. His face inches from mine.

"Don't ever leave me. I'm not asking you to fight for the First Order. But you still need a teacher. Stop defying me." His eyes serious.

"Okay." I whisper. For the first time my life, my stomach has butterflies and my insides warm. Warmth pooling between my legs. I feel his desire for me grow and his free hand holds the side of my face. "Stop looking at me with those eyes. I made a mistake, I'll never do it again. I'm only human, but I will never be like you."

"And I accept that." His lips find mine and his kiss is deep, his finger wrap around the nape off my neck and he pulls me even closer. He turns his body and slowly lowers me to the bed, his lips never leaving mine, moving his hand from my calf to my hip. I have never been touched like this before, my insides quiver. His warmth is so welcoming, he lays on me, holding most his weight on his elbows. He pulls away for a second. "I want to warn you what going to happen if this," his eyes look down to our touching bodies, "... happens. We can never block each other out. We will always be together. One."

"Seal the bond?" I tilt my head to the side as I ask.

"Mm, yes." He's worried I'm going to say no. But the truth is I need this as much as he does, now that I know he's never going to kill me I trust this man. He has saved my life countless times. He can teach me everything I want to know and more.

"Maybe I've been always destined to end up in this place too." His lips are on mine instantly. His hand moves to my hip and slips into my shirt and his skin is so warm and soft. Who knew the hands of a killer were so soft. He slides up to my breasts. His heart quickening. He lets out a gasp and lowers his hand to the top of my pants and slides in them. He pulls backs back and looks down into my eyes, "Iv never done this before."

"Me either" I smile, he lowers his head slowly and starts to kiss me again, my hands on the back of his neck and in his hair. Just enjoying touching his skin. He pulls away and pulls his shirt over his head. His body chiseled from stone. Perfection a it's finest. I feel guilty for looking to long. I catch his eyes and he lifts a eyebrow and I cover my face. Embarrassed. He takes the opportunity to pull my shirt up and place soft kisses along my stomach. He stops and places his forehead on my stomach.

He's thinking about something but I don't try and pry. "Promise me you won't run."

"I won't. I promise." He life's off my stomach and moves up and moves my arms from over my eyes.

"Your beautiful, don't cover your face. I want to see you. I feel as though I have waited a thousand years for you." He's sad. I smile at him and touch his cheek and he leans into my touch closing his eyes. He looks so handsome right now. For the next few minutes he slowly trails kisses down my collar bone, in between my breasts and down my stomach to the top of my pants. I close my eyes and enjoy his touch. He has been desperate for such close touch for so long I let him do what he wants. He slips my pants and underwear off with a quick motion. I was going to cover my face but I stop and place my hands on my sides, gripping the sheets. He stands up and strips down to his briefs. He comes back over to the bed and pulls me to a sitting position and takes my shirt off. He climbs on top of me and the warmth of his skin flows around me. He's addicting, his smell intoxicating. He kisses my neck and shoulders.

'Are you sure?'

"Mhm." I manage to say I between his soft kisses on my thigh. He's hovering and balancing on elbow. He shifts off his underwear and slowly enters me, sealing the bond and breaking down the walls.

And I feel him inside me, his breath in my ear, his heart stomping in my head. I arch my back in response to the pain of him ripping through my virginity. His hand slides under and sprawls on my back, pulling me closer to him. He slowly moves in and out. It consumes me, everything about him fills me up. I do love this man and I'm afraid of him. I'm also afraid to loose him. The force around us twirls and weaves in and out. Joining in unison.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Pears

The sun is shinning through the windows and balcony. I'm laying on my stomach still naked. The blanket just covering my lower back and down. I smile, I really did that last night? Ahh, my body is soar. I can't deny anymore how much I need him in my life. I roll over and pull the blanket up and wrap it around me, slipping out of bed. I walk over to the balcony and enjoy the sun touching my skin. I look down to the water bellow, splashing catches my attention. Kylo is swimming in the lake, his movement angelic. He stops, looks up at me, and raises a eyebrow.

'Come down here'

 _I can't swim_ , I frown down at him. From here I can feel the coolness of the water against his skin. All my senses heightened it seems like. I lean my head to the side and pull the blanket around me tighter, I'm still completely naked. I can't take my eyes off him.

'Do you want to learn?'

 _Last time I was in there I almost drowned. No thanks._ Last time I was in the lake he tried killing me. He smiles and disappears under the water. My eyes search for where he is going to pop up, but he doesn't. I wait for a few minutes, at one point leaning over the railing to get a closer look. It's crazy how I can feel him so much deeper now. His heart doesn't just echo is my head, I feel it beating with mine. Two hearts, one soul. He still doesn't come up.

From behind me the door opens and I jump. He's standing in the doorway with a towel draped around his hips, water glistening off his skin and damp hair. He leans against the door frame. My eyes scan his physic, he is a marvel to look at. "You look just like you did in your dream. So much color in your cheeks." He says and then smiles. I pull the blanket tighter, embarrassed I'm still naked. He walks over to me, I'm still standing on the balcony. It's only big enough for two to stand on, his fingers trail along my jaw. I close my eyes, part my lips, and lean into his touch. "What I would do to take away this fear of being loved." He says, I can't tell if he's talking to me or himself. I open my eyes, his eyes just looking at me. Warm. His hand slides down my neck, over my shoulder and stops at the top of the blanket, that's pulled around my arms tight just about my breasts leaving my collarbone, shoulders, and neck exposed. "You are so beautiful, I am undeserving of you." He reminds me of a sad little boy. "Get dressed, you need to eat. Pick anything from the wardrobe. It's just me here." He plants a soft kiss on my cheek and leaves the room. Intoxicating me. How can this monster be so gentle.

In the wardrobe is a variety of outfits of all colors and styles. Some very elegant and some very romantic. I settle on a navy blue mid thigh length silk dress, with thin straps. I take a fast shower and get dressed. The fabric brushing against my skin, it's so soft and silky. I leave my hair down to not feel so exposed. I tiptoe down the stairs, being as light as a feather. Kylo is out on the balcony in only the pants I love. Before joining him I grab a pear off the long glass table and take a bite. When he sees me his eyes look about my body, soaking up how I must look. I still feel so exposed. Behind him I see his ship in the distance, just the tips stick out above the tree line. He carried me a long way.

His smile is so childish, but he's relaxed. I walk over next to him, his hand traces down the curve of my side and over my hip, before he squeezes lightly and let's go. His eyes dart to mine. "Do you feel different?" He looks worried now.

"I feel like my senses are stronger. I can't explain it, but I feel your heart beating with mine." His face softens. "Do you... feel... different." I don't know if he talking about letting him take my virginity or our bond.

"My side of the bond has always been stronger because I'm stronger but now," he looks over the water, "now I feel everything. This changes things."

"How?" I ask. Obviously it changes things.

"You are my number one responsibility. If something happens to you..." He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. "You need to be more careful for now on. We are going to start training again right away."

"Are you afraid Snoke is going to know what we have done?" I'm worried about him the most.

"He doesn't know about this place so we are safe here. Only here can we be this. When we are back on the destroyer you will refer to me as Master and nothing else. You MUST obey me at all times, no more escape attempts. The new general makes General Huxs look like a saint." This makes my stomach knot, thinking about General Hux and the King. I turn my head away in shame that I allowed that to happen. But he is right, when I'm scared I can't protect myself.

His fingers touch my jaw and force me to look at him, "There is nothing to be ashamed about."

"Can you really look me in the face and tell me everything is going to be okay?" I ask. My eyes pleading with him. I still feel so vulnerable around the First Order, and if I refuse to fight with Kylo, how is he going to stop Snoke from killing me when he finds out who we are, what we have done.

"I got it under control. But you must follow my orders. The Supreme Leader expects you to be by my side fully when we arrive back. Having you next to me at all times will be very... distracting." His fingers trail down my arm giving me goosebumps. "You must stay covered up there." He says with a crooked smile.

"That's not hard, it's zero degrees in that place." He lets out a chuckle at my response.

"How about we begin with something small." He wants to start right now? He takes the pear from my hand and holds it in his palm, hand flat. It begins to rise off his hand and spin. I love watching him do that. With his other hand he takes my hand and holds it out flat in his, his fingers grazing the skin on my wrists. He lets takes a deep breath and his eyes look into mine with desire. Heat pooling between my thighs. "Just think... light as air. That the pear is nothing in your hand. You have to will the force to do what you want it to." Its so hard to concentrate when we are so close, skin touching skin.

'Trust me'

 _I do_. He shifts his body so he's leaning against the railing, he takes his hand away from mine but motions for me to keep it there. He takes his free hand, the other one still spinning the pear, and he finds the small of my back and pulls me closer to him. Desire bubbles to the surface of my insides. He's leaning back slightly to allow a gap between our chests. My hand still in place, as if balancing a imaginary tray of food.

'Call it to you'

I look at his hand with the pear, he moves his hand in between us, the gap big enough just to fit his hand. I focus on the pear, moving my hand closer to his. I call to it, in my head, to come to my hand. And to my surprise it slowly moves into my hand, startling me and it falls into my palm. I look right up at Kylo. "Your a good teacher."

"It's easy to teach someone who is willing to learn." He smiles. He takes the pear from my hand and sets it next to him on the railing. "Right now all I can think about is getting that dress off you." He shuffles his feet and swoops me up into his arms, I squeal like a little kid. He starts walking towards the stairs, I want him as close to me as I can get while we are here. In this moment I realize I would do anything for this man, and he would for me.

 **** Thank you for reading and being so patient with me! Soon things get crazy. ****


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: A sky full of stars

I'm sitting on the bed, my head on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. I'm facing a sleeping Kylo. The blanket starts just above his hips covering to about his knees. His hair tousled. With one hand on his stomach and the other behind his head. He looks younger. Maybe I do love this man. His eyebrows furrow and he opens his eyes and looks at me, "What?" he asks puzzled. I don't know how he knew I was looking at him.

"Your really handsome, you know that?" I say softly. We are both still naked, just part of the blanket wrapped around my abdomen between my legs and stomach. Just enough to be comfortable. The dimly lit by a sky full of stars, the chilly night air coming through the window. I never really take much attention to his scar. It's apart of him, and I just enjoy seeing his face so it doesn't bother me.

"I think you hit your head really bad when you crashed," he laughs. I had totally forgot I hit my head, I reach up and rub the skin where it should be. Kylo must of healed that too when he healed my calf. I smile back, it's obviously not my head. He removes his right hand from behind his head and lightly touches his fingers down my exposed spine. He always looks so sad when he touches me, like he's sorry. He lets out a heavy sigh. "We have to go back in the morning." His eyes meet mine, "I wish we didn't, it's different here. For once in my life I don't feel a weight on my shoulders..." He pauses. "I'm glad the universe picked you."

"Are you? Wouldn't you be happier if you weren't bound to someone forever?" I shiver at the thought of life without him now.

"I'm just happy you arnt bound to someone else." His eyes serious. He sits up, I'm still sitting with my head on my knees. He leans over and plants soft kisses along my shoulder, I close my eyes. I'm exhausted. "Sleep" he whispers. He pulls me down so my head is on his chest and I drift off.

* * *

We are docked back in the Destroyer, standing before the ramp. He hasn't lowered it yet, he's facing me, his all black attire. His helmet perched between his arm and side. He's standing arms length away, his head tilted. I pull my hood of my cloak up and look up at him.

"Remember," he reaches up touching my cheek, I lean into his touch. "I am your Master here, you are my apprentice. Do as I say, no questions asked." His thumb grazing my lip. I open my eyes, his eyes serious.

"I got it." I say. And with a swift movement he puts his mask on and Masked Kylo is back. I'm actually starting to like this look on him. He turns and with a wave of his finger the ramp door opens and white stormtroopers come into view. All perfectly attentive in single rows along the end of the ramp. Kylo walks down and I follow, my hands folded across my chest, head bowed slightly so my face is hidden, but I'm still able to see Kylo. He comes to a sudden stop once we turn down a hallway off the hanger. I stop behind him, but to the side so I can see the side of his mask. He angles his head to look down at me.

'Supreme Leader requests a meeting with us and the new general. He's awaiting us in the throne room' his words send chills through my body. And then he starts walking, I follow his pace. Until we hit the black corridor, I slow down and stop half way down the hallway. Kylo stops and turns toward me.

 _Does he know about us?_ I plead. Scared maybe somehow he found out.

'No, and do not speak unless spoken too.'

 _I thought you were in charge now, why is there a new general?_

'I have other things to attend to'

He walks over to me, spreads his hand along my back. It feels different this time. Like he's reassuring me instead of pushing me to walk forwards. He flexes his fingers and my spine tingles. Every touch is more intimate now. Sending pulses through my body. Right before he opens the door he gives me one more glance. I hate not being able to read his face, it's a more given than his thoughts. I sigh and the doors open.

On top the pedestal is a tall broad man with slicked back blonde hair, he turns and his face is as stern as any face I have ever seen. He even looks mean. I can tell his hair is graying, much older than General Hux was.

We reach the top of the stairs and the man is much larger than me. Even more muscle mass than Kylo but he stands the same height as him. He's bulging out of his uniform.

"This is the apprentice of the King of Knights? What possible harm can come from such a child?" He lets out a loud laugh. His words anger Kylo. I don't think he has seen Kylos real face or he would think he was a child himself.

"Don't let her size fool you General Green, she took out my 6 Knights right here." Kylo says back. I'm sure as calmly as he could. Kylo glances my direction and I lower my head a little.

"I'm sure." The general snaps back and looks at me from head to toe. The hologram above us flickers on. A eerie feeling washes over me, I hate this place more than anything.

"General, how are the preparations of the army coming alone? I trust you will have everything finished by the deadline." Snoke snorts. Waving his creepy hand in the air as he talks.

"Yes Supreme Leader, I have everything under control. You order will be complete by the months end. You have my word." General says proudly, flaring his chest out. It disgusts me. I pout and look away.

"Your word means nothing to me General." He lashes back.

Snoke directs his attention to me. My body freezes in fear. I slowly look up at him. Making the deepest eye contact I have made with him.

'Watch it' he's looking right at me, and then looks up at Snoke. Everything in this room seems very unpredictable. Snoke could order Kylo to kill me out of pure enjoyment.

"That will be all, General go see over preparations. We must prepare for our next attack." Snoke motions for General Green to leave. He turns on his heals to leave but not before he gives me a nasty look of pure hate. Once the 3 of us are alone Kylo speaks up.

"Supreme Leader, I plan on advancing My apprentices training. She has been improving tremendously." Kylo notions. Supreme leader leans back and rubs his chin. He raises his hand and points to me.

"Do you fight for the First Order? Do you swear yourself to Kylo Ren as his apprentice? Are you willing to kill for me? Kill some of the very people you know? Not a task everyone can accomplish. As you see my apprentice has no problem killing those he knows, not even his own father was safe from his hand." Everything he said was disturbing. I can't think of the right answer. Kylo said I wouldn't have to fight with him. "Be mindful of that child. You wont be given anymore chances."

'Say yes. Trust me' his head turns towards me.

"Yes Supreme Leader. I swear myself to the First Order." I say, almost throwing up after each syllable. I know deep down that what I say isn't the truth. I will never fight for them.

"Good... good. Proceed with your training, she will soon be put to the ultimate test. Prepare her." And the hologram flickers off.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: Duel

We stop in front of the white rooms door and he motions me to go in before him so he can talk to the silver trooper outside the door. The door closes behind me. Once I'm inside the room alone I go strait towards the window. I love the view from here, it's the only thing good about this ship. Pulling the cloak tight around me. It's so cold here though. I lean my head to the side and close my eyes.

The door opens and Kylo comes in and removes his helmet just staring at me, it propped between his arm and side. He walks over slowly, his eyes dark. "Stay in here unless I come and get you. I have to go to a meeting, dinner will be here soon."

"What is he going to make me do Kylo? What is this huge test. You told me..." I snap at him but he cuts me off.

"I KNOW WHAT I TOLD YOU! Don't you trust me?" He glares.

"I don't want to kill anyone Kylo." I plead.

"You won't have to. I have everything all figured out. The Supreme Leader with be very busy for awhile. The new clone army will be ready soon. The General will also have his hands full." He holding his helmet in front of him, hands clasped on the sides ready to put it on. I don't want to sit in here all alone.

 _Clone army!?1_

"Don't even start with me, do you know the Jedis are the ones who started the army?They just happened to follow my grandfather to the Dark Side. Do some research. Would you rather we keep ripping children from the arms of their mothers, and having them watch as we slaughter their whole families. Killing their mother, father, and any sibling that was of no use to us. If anything I thought that would be a relief to you." He growls. His words eat at my heart as I think of Finn, what he went through. It sends a hollowing pain through my chest. I resist the urge to cry. I haven't thought of Finn in awhile, what he must be thinking of me. I push the thoughts in the back of my mind. The only thing I know is I don't want to be alone right now.

"Can I come with you?" The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. I wouldn't mind seeing him in action and seeing something other than these four walls and the throne room. He pauses from his action of putting his helmet on. He looks up and his eyebrow raised.

"This could be interesting," he weighs the thought in his head. "Come on." His mask hisses shut and he turns and we proceed to leave the room, I follow him past the hanger, on a bridge high above everyone else. We arrive in front of a door similar to the bedroom door. He looks down at me and I feel his amusement. He waves his hand and the door slides open. Sitting around a large circular table sit his six Knights. They stiffen when they see me.

 _A warning would of been nice, I'll just go back to the room._

'Sit' he enters the room and points to a open chair in between two of his Knights. They all wear their masks and are all staring right at me. I sit and bow my head, thankful for the thick hood of my cloak. I rather be in the throne room under Snokes thumb right now.

"Arsland, where are we on the location of the resistance base?" I feel all their eyes burning into me. I don't dare to look up.

"Sir, we have located a small structure on the planet of Dagobah. I would suggest sending down some troops to check it out." Arsland answers. The Knights are just as intimidated of Kylo as everyone else. Would make sense, none of them have the force.

"I expect a report back in 3 days." Kylo orders. I finally force myself to look up, looking at each Knight more closely. One knight won't stop staring at me, I can tell by the way his masks sits on his face, his eyes are the most visible of any of the Knights. His hands in fists on the table in front of him. I recognize him as the knight I impaled with the sword. It makes me uneasy and I lower my head again. Kylo takes notice of my body language.

'He won't do anything.' Kylo reassures me, doesn't make me feel better though. 'He wouldn't dare.'

 _Are you sure?_

"Cornelius, is there something you need to say?" Kylo turns his attention to the Knight who won't stop glaring at me. Im thankful for the 2 Knights in between us. The Knight's eyes shoot strait to Kylo and his hands relax.

"Sir. With all due respect, she let half the resistance escape. How can we trust her?" Cornelius answers. He gives me one last dark look and turns his attention back to Kylo.

"I see there is some tension in the room... Id like to introduce my apprentice Rey." Kylo starts walking around the table, hands behind his back. The Knights shift in their seats. "I'm sure you wont forget what she capable of. You had your chance for revenge. She knows her place among us now, don't question my authority Cornelius. I have given you many chances." Kylo stops behind the knight directly in front of me. Tilts his head a little and continues, "Bane, what have you found out about General Organa?" Completely changing the subject. I'm thankful.

"No change sir. She disappeared with the others." The knight next to me answers. His voice deep and mechanical like all the others. But his seemed to have such a eerie dark sound to it.

 _I wish I could see their faces_.

'No. They are to never revel themselves to you.'

"She must be close to the new base, we will find her. Once she is gone the rest of our plans will fall into place smoothly. They will have no leader." His words sting my heart, I want to stand up and yell at him, but I resist and instead grab the edge of the seat, sneezing till my knuckles are as white as snow.

'Stop' I relax instantly. There is nothing I can do.

"Our clone army will be ready soon, you have till months end to bring me the coordinates of the new base. Supreme Leader will not allow another failure." Kylo says, and continues to walk around the table.

I'm just glad he can't see my face right now. From the other side of me the knight shuffles a little and clears his throat.

"Sir, we have a recording of a transmission intercepted in between two resistance pilots. We believe one to be their new leader." He clears his throat again. "FN-2187." Kylo is directly behind me and I hear him ignite his saber, I slouch in my seat and pull the cloak around me tighter.

"WHAT?" Kylo yells. The knight next to me stiffens. His emotions overwhelm me, making my body numb. "What else did the transmission say Sylis." The knight is terrified next to me. I recognize him as the one who I whipped the spiked ball at. Kylo is almost across the table in front of me again, I can feel the force radiating off of him like heat on metal during a hot day.

"The resistance pilot, the one that helped FN-2187 escape a few moths ago. They were talking about some sort of rescue mission. We couldn't tell where they were. FN-2187 stopped communicating back to the other pilot. We thought he crashed, but the resistance pilot came on and said something about him loosing an arm. It all got very staticky. And we lost connection." The knight looks directly at me. Does he know?

"EVERYONE OUT!" I place my arms on the arms of the chair bracing myself to stand up and leave but Kylo freezes me.

'Ohh noooo, not you!' Once all the Knights leave the room and the doors close he removes his helmet and slams it on the table. I jump and look at him, his eyes are so dark and serious. He disengages his lightsaber. Probably to stop himself for beheading me.

"He's the General now! Did you know when we were out in that field? DID YOU KNOW?!" He yells. His hands pressed down flat on the table across from me. Leaning in. He unfreezes me and I flinch back into my seat.

"NO! I didn't know! I had no idea. I'm just as shocked as you." He slams his fists down on the table. Leaving indents.

"What happened when you contacted them? Tell me everything. NOW!" He slams his fists down again.

"I asked for your mother! Finn got on. I told him you kidnapped me. He said your mother went into hiding and that he was coming for me, I urged him not to but he sorta tracked the transmission and just by luck they found me. I told him not to come!" Kylo pushes my chair up against the wall and I'm pinned, he walks around the table and crouches down in front of me.

"If your lieing..." He warns.

"I'm not, look into my memories. Im not! Dont you trust me?" A tear falls down my cheek. He closes his eyes and flashes of the transmitter, my call, and Finn in the field come into my mind in flashes. He opens his eyes and let's me from his force hold. I get up from the chair and just leave the room, trying to find my way back to my room myself.

 ****I really appreciate the reviews. They keep me motivated. :)**

 **Everything I write has a purpose, it may not come out for a few chapters but everything will always be explained. I promise. So much more to come!****


	29. Chapter 29

** kate, I guess that slipped thank you! sometimes my brain works faster than my fingers and I get over anxious 😣 Ill go back and fix that. It's suppose to say he feels like he waited a thousand years for her. It's something my husband always says.

Im working on making sure I have no errors in my typing. I do apologize. I'm learning more as I work on this. It's my first story. Im also working on making the chapters longer. Soon, I really dont know how long this story will be, no doubt over 100k words.

Midna19, I love both sides to him so much**

Chapter 29: Generals

I'm running down the halls, to the best of my memory I think I'm heading in the right direction. Im not so lucky to avoid the stormtroopers as Kylo is. Most of them move out of the way, the smart ones do. Two I had to push so hard against the wall I think I cracked a skull. I hope I didn't. Im rounding what im sure is the way to my room but I am stopped by a unusual voice behind me.

"You should not be roaming these halls alone little lady." I freeze and turn around to see who is keeping me from crying into my pillow. It's General Green, such a strange name for a strange man.

"I'm sorry General. I am just trying to find my room." I say, I want to end this conversation as fast as possible. This guy gives me the creeps. He looks like he was plucked strait from the underworld for this job. He takes a few steps closer to me.

"Where are you coming from in such a hurry?" His eyebrows crease. His eyes sharp.

"None of your business. Now if you will, I'd like to get to my room." Tears building up behind my eyes, preparing the dam that I built to not let them out yet.

"Not yet." He steps even closer I go to take a few steps back, I don't want to be near this man. Kylo was right, he is much worse than General Hux. He even smells like death, the smell burning my nostrils. He grabs my arm. I don't know what Snoke would do to me if I got another one of his generals killed. I try and pull away but his grip tightens. "This is my Ship now and I will not have someone running around unattended that cant be trusted. Scavenger."

"You know nothing about me. Let me go." I pull my arm back again but hes strong."The last General who laid his hands on me left you his job." I say through my teeth.

"And for that im thankful. Maybe he didnt know how to dispose of you properly." His hand squeezes even tighter. His eyes narrow. "You are just a distraction here and I need the Knights of Ren to be at full focus. ALL of them." He lets me go and straitens up.

"General." Kylo emerges around the other the corner at the end of the hall, distracting the generals attention. I take the advantage and run, I run as fast as I can till I finally see the Silver Stormtrooper in front of my door. I wave my hand at the door and just try and will it open but it won't. I collapse against the wall across from my door. Just staring at it, mad at it that it won't open. I feel Kylo walking towards me, I lean against the wall, resting my forearms on my knees. Defeated. I close my eyes waiting for him to come open the door. When I open them he is crouching in front of me, head tilted.

"It only opens for me." He gets up and waves his hand and the door opens. I slowly get off the ground and walk into the room. He follows behind me but I just want to be alone. I don't need him accusing me of anything right now. The door slides shut and he removes his helmet setting it on the table before turning his attention to me. I'm standing by the bed, looking down. I don't want to make eye contact with him because I don't want to see his face.

"Can you just leave me alone now." I say, still not looking up. He pushes into my mind again and reads deep into my feelings. I hate when he does this, he can read every thought I have. He's been really good about respecting my privacy and only communicating through direct thoughts. I feel so violated. I keep my head down and he walks over to me. I clench my hands into fist trying to push his prying away but I can't build the wall back up. This is awful.

 _My whole world is spinning out of control. I'm in love with a Monster and Finn is the new General who is being hunted by that very Monster. How do I allow myself to choose a side._ The thought is pulled from my mind.

"I hate you!" I look up at his eyes, my eyes burning with furry.

'No you dont'

Kylo throws his arm up and throws me across the room into the wall of windows, I fall onto the floor, hunched over in pain. I grip my chest with my right hand trying to get my breath back. Kylo force grabs my foot and pulls me back causing me to fall flat on my stomach and he starts dragging me to his feet. I try gripping at the floor to stop but it doesn't work. He reaches down and grabs my arm in the same spot the General did, squeezing hard, he pulls me up to my feet. His face stern. His eyes burn with anger.

"I'm going to kill him when I see him next, if you like it or not. If I knew then what I know now I would of beheaded him in front of you and forced you to come with me anyways. It wouldnt of been hard, it was just easier to have you come willingly and I didnt want to fight with you about a measly traitor. I told you, this is what I am. So stand there like a good apprentice and listen to me. Since I know your telling the truth I won't be forced to teach you a lesson. But I swear Rey, you make one wrong move and I'll make you kill him." His eyes narrow.

"You can't make me kill him! Are you crazy?!" I scream at him.

The hood falls off the back of my head from looking up at him, my hair falls around my face. He lets me go and steps back.

"I have complete control over you, did you forget?" He smiles back, making me sick to my stomach.

"Did you sleep with me just to control me?" My eyes are fighting to hold back tears. "You did, didn't you?" A tear falls through.

"What? Are you serious right now?" He looks truly shocked. His whole body straitens up. "You really think that?"

"You just said now you have complete control, that you would make me kill Finn if I disobey you. You cant make me do anything you want me to do, i dont doubt you know how. But you wouldnt dare because im telling you now, ill kill myself in retaliation." I sniffle. "I think Iv been through enough today between you and all your buddies up there!" I point up in the direction I think the conference room is. "I want you to leave!" I turn around to hide my face. I hear him leave, though I can still feel him in the back of my mind. He is silent.

"Ugh", the dam of tears breaks open and i run to the bed. Cloak and all. I start thinking about the Lake House and the Meadow and how I would love to go back right now. I think about me and Kylo in bed the night before we came back here, his touch. I cant stop thinking about Finn, and then the Generals warning. What was that about? Should I tell Kylo? I drift off to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Rematch

We are standing in the middle of the training room, Kylo in full gear. I am still so pissed at him, I think maybe he's afraid I'll do something to him. I actually find it funny, but he's right. Ill punch him in the face when given the chance. How dare he probe my mind like that and threaten to puppet handle me. I feel used.

He clears his throat. "Channel your anger into movements. But I want to try things a little different today." From behind his back he brings into view an unusual looking electroblade. He holds it out for me to take. Within seconds I understand what it is.

"A duel electroblade?" I take it and weigh it in my hands. It's so balanced. I look at his mask, I wish I could see his face now. I know he's smiling, and I love to see his smile.

"Try it" he says, and steps back away from me. I ignite it and twirl it around in my hands a few times. When I look up Kylo is standing against the wall, just watching me.

"Its amazing. What are you doing over there? Come fight me." I twirl the blade around a few more times. "Isn't that why we are here? You get me mad and then test out my powers so I'll join the dark side?"

He laughs, "No, but your powers are great when your angry. It actually makes this easier." He ignited his electroblade and walks towards me. I take fighting position. "Truth be told, I don't like seeing you angry."

"Your a monster." I say through my teeth.

"And you are still just a scavenger." He snaps back.

I charge at him, I can move with such ease as I can make contact movements twice as fast and within seconds I land a shot to Kylos arm. He freezes, swears under his breath and steps back. Rolling his shoulder to get feeling back.

"Do you regret giving this to me now?" I say to him. I walk to the center of the room and take position again waiting for him to attack but he disengages his electroblade and walks over to the entrance and knocks on door and steps back. In walks Cornelius, the knight from the round table who couldn't stop staring at me. He thinks I'm not to be trusted.

"It seems here Cornelius says he deserves a rematch. He's pretty bent on the fact you one upped him last time. Since I usually have my knights fight out their problems. I found it suitable for you to fight out yours. I can't have two of my Knights in a quarrel." Kylo states and he walks in circles around me.

 _You can't be serious. No way. Last time was sheer luck._

'There is no such thing as luck'

The Knights eyes burn into me. I shutter. He's a large man, bigger than Kylo even.

 _I feel very unmatched._

'I think you can take him'

The knight ignites a electroblade from his side and walks towards me. I take a step back but Kylos hand finds my back and pushes me forward.

'Focus on his movements along with yours. He's stronger than you. But your faster and have the force.'

"The first one of you to land 3 hits wins. Proceed." Kylo removes his hand from my back and steps back to the wall, hands behind his back. Just observing. Now I know why he is in full gear, I dont think any of his Knights have seen him without his Mask. I take my stance and then Cornelius charges at me, he raises his blade in the air but meets my blade down on impact inches above my head. He's strong, pushing his blade down on mine. I use the force to push out from under me and he stumbles back a few feet allowing me to swing my blade around and catch his thigh. But he's strong, he doesn't go down. He absorbs the pain and somehow comes swinging back. Catching me off guard.

 _Does that count?_

'Yes'

He swings trying to come for my side and I meet him with the electroblade and he pulls back to swing again from up above. His movements are heavy but slow. I duck from under him and his blade meets the floor. He turns around and charges at me. I meet his blade several times before he shifts his movement and lands a kick to my chest sending me across the floor, breaking a two or more. I moan out in pain and roll onto my back. The knight takes no time and starts charging for me. I roll over to my side and force push him so he goes flying across the room, giving me some time to get up.

"Ahhh." This sucks. My one hand gives out trying to get up but I mange to steady myself and get up and my hand shoots strait to my throbbing side. Anger gathers around me, I look at my electroblade on the floor across the room and open my hand. It comes flying to my hand I ignite it. My eyes narrow on the shoulder of the knight where the sword went through. It must still be tender. I let go of my rib and focus on freezing the knight. To my surprise he freezes and I run over and take a swing at the front of his shoulder at the impact point. And then unfreezing him sending him to his knees in pain. I grab my side again and twirl my electroblade around in my hand and land on his to the back of his shoulder where the sword went through. He tumbles to the ground.

Kylo emerges behind me. "I think we are done for today. Understand Cornelius." He takes the electroblade from my hand. He spreads his hand out on the small of my back and proceeds to lead me back to my room.

Once back in the room he motions for me to sit on the edge of the bed. My side throbbing in severe pain. He removes his helmet and brings a chair to sit across from me. "I'm impressed." He says as he starts taking his gloves off. He runs his fingers along my shirt, down my ribs, I pull away once he reaches the spot where I know at least two ribs are broken. He takes his other hand and puts it on my other side to hold me still. His thumb skimming the side of my breast. He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head.

He spreads his hand across my broken ribs and closes his eyes. The cooling feeling spreads through my ribs and side. Like a cooling breeze seeping into my bones. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling. And just as quick as its there it's gone. He removes his hands. I open my eyes and he's just looking at me, he reaches up and touches my neck but quickly retreats and puts his gloves back on. The pain in my side completely gone.

 _I love when you do that._

He turns and half smiles at me. I think he enjoys doing it.

"Are your Knights done trying to kill me?" I ask. I am still so mad at him, I can't stop thinking and Finn. General Finn. I shake the thought out of my head. I don't need Kylo catching me thinking about him.

"Don't worry about them. You made you point fair and square. I'm sure Cornelius will deliver the message to the others."

"What made you think to give me a duel electroblade?" I'm curious of where it came from and why he would give me one before the match with Cornelius. I shutter at that name.

"I wanted it to be a fair fight. And I know your weapon of choice was a staff. It made sense. Did it not?" He looks disappointed that I asked.

He grabs his helmet off the table and turns towards the door.

"Why can't you stay, I hate it here." I ask. I lower my head. I'm so lonely here, even more lonely than on Jakku. Here I still feel like a prisoner. I see his feet from under my eyelashes, he sets his helmet back down and walks over to infront of where I'm sitting on the bed. He crouches down and he looks at me.

"It's not safe." His eyes are sad. He stands up, instinctively I stand up waiting for him to move out the way so I can get away from him.

 _Nothing about being here is safe for me_

He wraps his arm around me and drops me to the bed. Balancing his weight on his one elbow and placing his knee between my legs and the other on the side he balances his weight on. He's biting his bottom lip, his eyes looking over my face, neck, and chest... "It's not safe here. Don't question me. I in fact find you very intoxicating to be around, but I can't be distracted from my work here." He flexes his fingers behind my back, sending chills throw my body and a heat ignites between my things. "We will be leaving right after I get the reports from Arsland. I promise."

"Your not going to fight the resistance?" I'm so confused.

"I am, but we are not attacking right away, the troops won't be ready yet." He says, he plants a soft kiss down the side of my neck, my hands on his chest trying to push him away.

 _Don't start something you can't finish._ I don't need him teasing me. He runs his nose along my jaw. closing his eyes.

"The general thinks I'm a distraction to you already." I say. I regret bringing it up as soon as I do. His eyes shoot to mine and his fingers dig into my back.

"What?" He's mad.

"I shouldn't of said anything. I'm sorry." I look back at him, trying to burry myself deeper in the bed but he pulls me closer to him and lowers himself a little. He's so warm.

"When did he say this?" He growls.

"When I was running back to the room and you caught us in the hallway. Right before you showed up he grabbed my arm and warned me to basically stay in my room, it's his ship." I leave out the part of disposing me. But I feel Kylo pulling it from me anyways.

"Interesting." Kylo cocks his head to the side after seeing it. He looks down at my arm between us and back at me. "Does it hurt?"

"No offense, but you grabbed me there too. So it's your fault too." He pulls back and looks at me shocked, and then he remembers. He rolls his eyes and pulls me to a sitting position and starts unwrapping my armwrap. He stops as soon as he starts seeing the purple blue of the large bruise. He shakes his head and continues unwrapping down to my elbow. Along my tricep and bicep is a serious of purple, blue, and black marksings that wrap around my whole arm. He presses his lips together. I don't know if he's mad at himself or the General.

"This is why I tell you to stay with me at all times when your outside this room."

"Oh so your the only one allowed to fuck me up? Huh?" His eyes shoot to mine and he half smiles.

"Something like that." He says. He removes his gloves and lightly touches my arm and looks at the damage done. His thumb tracing my bicep. He encloses his hands around my bicep and the coolness starts. His eyes close. Concentrating. I roll my head to the side and just enjoy the feeling. My arm has been bothering me all day but I didn't want to say nothing. He opens his eyes and let's go, he rubs my arm lightly and stands up. "I have to go. I'll be back tomorrow. I want to show you around." He then proceeds to put his helmet on and walks out the rooms with the wave of his hand. I lay down facing the window of stars and drift to sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: The Deck

The next morning I shower, put my hair in my 3 buns but my hair is getting noticeably longer. I put on all the proper First Order attire and my cloak. I think Kylo had it made because he knows I'm always cold. I pull it tight around me, I wait by the window for him, I know he's close. The door slides open and I'm happy to actually see him. I'm curious of what he wants to show me. He tilts his head to motion me to follow him. I do as I'm told, following behind him. I'm in a good mood today and I dont know why. He can tell. He keeps looking at me as we walk the halls. And I smile up at him each time. This must be amusing to him. Before I know it we are standing at the entrance to the main deck.

 _I have never been on a first deck of one of these._

'This is actually my favorite part of the ship' he's looking right down at me. I hate that I can't see his face. I follow behind him as he walks through the bustling deck. Some stop and stare. He has quite the impression on people. Some look at me with such confusion, others pay no attention at all. I like them the best. We walk across a small bridge to a set of Windows that span 5 times the width of my room.

 _It's breathtaking Kylo_. The stars here look so bright, and the vastness of space is always such a wonder to me. Could my family be on one of those planets. Kylo is just watching me, leaning against the wall by the end of the windows with his arms crossed. From here you can also see parts of the destroyer and small fighters flying around in and out of ports.

'Not all things on the dark side are bad Rey' and I'm thankful for our weird telepathic thoughts because even though there are so many people around, I feel like it's just me and him up here. I place two hands on the window and just look at everything. Soaking it in.

I look at him, and smile just letting him know I appreciate him bringing me here and showing me. I look behind me to all the people working about and then look back at the stars. I always imagined what it would be like to stand up here on one of these. The hair on the back of my neck stands up and I look behind me and the General is standing in the doorway, his eyes locked on me. I jump when I see him. Kylo stands strait up but doesn't move from his spot.

"General. I came to check on your progress with the clones. I was expecting you to be here. I don't like having to wait." He booms across the room. Kylo has no shame here, no one even looked at him, some cringe at the sound of his voice. Everyone knows their place. He walks over to me, puts up two fingers to motion me to stay put. He walks past me down the bridge to the General. Under the bride are computers and people moving around talking into headsets about nothing I can understand. I focus my attention back to the stars out the window. Pulling my hood up. I have no interest hearing about their clone army. I count 6 shooting stars before I notice Kylo is standing by my side again. I'm smiling.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." I say. Even though I'm thinking about how mouthwatering he looks standing here in the glow of the stars and off planets. I know he cares for me, and I'm lucky that I have him to protect me. He doesn't try and pry at my thoughts right now. He just looks at me while I count 3 more shooting stars. He goes to walk away.

 _I had a vision of you before you found me on Takodona. When I touched Luke's lightsaber the first time._

He turns back around and looks down on me.

'What did you see exactly' People around us must wonder what's going on, two people standing in silent staring at each other. I take notice the General is still in the room.

 _Maybe this isn't the time to bring it up_.

'Tell me. What did you see?' His tone gentle. He looks at the General and back to me. 'Can I see?'

I close my eyes and bow my head and let him search for the memory. He tilts his head to the side when I look back up to him.

'Hmm, interesting' He looks at the stars.

"Let's go, Arsland is back early with reports." He turns and walks away. I follow him, the General and I make eye contact, his eyes cold. So I lower my head and walk faster to walk side by side with Kylo down the corridor. I don't know how he always manages to avoid Stormtroopers but they can appear when he needs them. We reach the bridge at the top of the hanger and he stops to look down at me. "You better bite you tongue, I don't care what you think about FN-2187. He is the enemy now. Stop defending someone you don't know anything about." He snaps.

"Okay." I say to just spare argument because I can't make any promises I won't open my mouth in there. He shakes his head. We continue walking towards the corridor and he stops one more time just to remind me to be quiet.

"I'm serious Rey. I don't need you questioning me in front of my Knights. There are some sides of me you don't want to see." He says and we walk through the door. "Sit." And he points to an empty chair. The Knights don't pay attention to me this time. They all turn to look at Kylo. I'm thankful.

"Arsland. Your back sooner than expected. What did you find?" Kylo asks, standing in a empty spot around the table where a chair should be.

A hologram in the middle of the table flickers on. The knight stands up to point at some building in the middle, his hand moving about detailing a layout beneath the ground. It's quit impressive they got this information so quick. It's the resistance base alright. "There are 6 underground levels Sir. And a hanger located in the hill it rests on. I'm guessing more than half the remaining Resistance is there. If we want to attack we can start with an initial bombing and the go to the ground and take out any remaining survivors." He stands up strait and looks right at Kylo. "An insider tells us they are planning an attack soon Sir." The knight states.

Kylo whips his head to Arsland's direction. "Where?"

"Here sir. Their New General has made it a priority to take this ship down." Arsland sits down. Kylo looks at me but I refuse to speak.

 _It's probably a rescue mission._

"When?" Kylo states without breaking his look from me. I can only imagine the face he is making behind his mask. His anger overwhelms me, I start shaking with chills.

"3 days." The knight says. Kylo looks at Arsland and then to another knight I remember as being the first knight I unarmed in the chamber. He's smaller than the other Knights. Im guessing younger and less experienced.

"Jeremiah and Arsland, you are to go to Kamino and gather all the clones you can, you will all go to the base in 2 days time. We need to get to them before they come to us. We can't have another big loss. The Starkiller almost cost us all our lives and it cost us endless troops. I'm taking my apprentice off base for the time being. She is of no use in this fight. I'm expecting you all to step up and complete the mission."

He slams his fists on the table. The hologram flickers off.

"Is the New General on the base?" Kylo looks at Arsland.

"Yes Sir." Arsland answers. Kylo glances at me again which catches the attention of Cornelius.

"Why not put her out there? She's obviously powerful enough." Cornelius barks. The other Knights don't dare to chime in. Kylo straitens up, about to ignite his lightsaber but stops.

"The time has not come, the Resistance doesn't know she is working for our side yet." he says. And he's right, or they wouldn't be attempting a rescue mission. Maybe he doesn't want me here because he's afraid they will take me back to their base, in the case he wouldn't be able to just blow it up and go crazy. What if they found out about me and Kylo, they might kill me. Knowing I'm his weakness. Kylo holds back his anger to his Knights. He must find them very valuable. I can't imagine him letting anyone else get away with that comment. "We are done for today."

The Knights get up and leave the room. Leaving only me and Kylo. He turns the hologram in the middle of the table back on and starts walking around the table. He doesn't speak, just circles around it twice. I follow him with my eyes. He turns the hologram off and removes his helmet, setting it on the table. He was probably waiting for his Knights to get far enough away that he felt comfortable enough to take it off.

"Will you just keep making up excuses for me to not fight? Won't someone catch on that I refuse to work for The First Order?" I ask quietly. He is looking down at the table, hands spread apart, palms flat on the table. He picks his head up and raises an eyebrow.

"Not unless you tell someone." He says coldly. I doubt he can keep this up much longer. What if the general finds out? He would tell Snoke in a heartbeat. He doesn't like that I'm here.

"Do you wish you could be there? With your Knights on the Resistance Base." I ask him. I can tell how bothered he is by not going.

"I do." I hear him say.

"I think you should go. If you keep taking me away by yourself during these big battles, someone will notice and I don't know what would happen to me then," I frown and look down. I hear him walk around the table. He swings my chair around and crouches in front of me.

"I can't leave you here, not with General Green. I'll take you to the lake house tonight, but tomorrow I must leave. Promise me you will stay there and wait till I come back." He says. I relish in the idea of a few days alone there, the place is so peaceful and warm. I could walk in the meadow and have time to think. I can always talk to Kylo. If I like it or not, 6 other Knights are going... What's one more. The Generals warning echoes in my head.

"I promise. It's not like I can go anywhere without you noticing anyways." I say back. Still refusing to make eye contact with him. I can't believe I'm telling him to go destroy the Resistance while I wait for him. I close my eyes and turn my head, tucking my chin into my shoulder. He reaches his hand up and touches my jaw with his thumb and wraps his fingers around to the back of my neck. He moves my head to look at him. When I open my eyes, his eyes are soft. He lightly licks his lips and pulls my head down to his kiss. It's soft and gentle, his lips move slow against mine. His leather gloves warm against my cold skin. His other hand reaches to the curve of my hip, his hand spreads wide. I can feel the warmth of his hand along my side, it's comforting. I relax and wrap my hands around his neck. My fingers finding his hair. We are in an awkward position, him crouched on the floor while I sit in the chair still, he's lower than I am. His kiss is thanking me. Not that I could of stopped him if he really wanted to go. He parts his lips and lightly bites my bottom lip. Then he pulls away and stands up.

He proceeds to walk over and puts his helmet on. I'm still light headed from his kiss when I manage to look at him again. I wish I could see his face right now. This is not how I was expecting this meeting to go. He tilts his head motioning me to follow him. The only thing I can think about now is having a few days to myself.


	32. Chapter 32

** bluejustice: thank you!

and to all the reviews! I love them. Im glad everyone appriciates the thought and time i love putting in this.**

Chapter 32: Falling Star

Im back alone in the white room waiting for Kylo to come back so we can leave. I start biting at my nails. Im looking at the stars again. As much as I hate this place, the views are amazing. The door slides open behind me but I dont turn around. Part of me is so sick to my stomach for suggesting that he go fight the resistance. He could of just stayed with me in the Lake House and I wouldnt of had to worry about any of this. What if he kills Finn? Can I forgive him?

He walks over and looks down on me, never removing his mask. "Would you rather stay here and watch the stars?" he asks.

I turn around and walk over to the door waiting for him to come open it. Never looking at him. He standing by the windows still, hands behind his back. His head cocked a little to the side. Hes obviously confused by my actions. He walks over and pulls my hood over my head, I finally look up at him. His hands still holding the side of my hood in place so it doesn't fall back down. My eyes trace around the silver of his mask, hiding his eyes from me.

'Do not be like this' He says calmly through thoughts. I think he prefers to do it that way so his voice doesn't sound so mechanical. He lets go off my hood and puts his hand on the small of my back, sending static through my body. He pushes me out the door and when we are in the hallway he lets go and walks at a slow pace side by side with me. We walk in complete silence to the bottom of the open ramp of his ship. He motions me to go up so he can stay behind and talk to a trooper. I go and sit in the second seat. Slouching down and just waiting for him to come up. I hear his heavy footsteps come up the ramp and the door hiss shut. To my surprise he removes his helmet before we even take off. I watch as he engages all the controls. Still refusing to make eye contact. This makes me sick to my stomach. Im only doing it to get a few days alone.

I watch the stars as we go deeper and deeper into space. My eyes heavy. So I turn my head and allow myself to sleep. I wake up to the slow decent of the ship, we are already on Naboo. I feel like he purposely puts me to sleep when we fly. He probably isnt use to having a passenger that talks. I dont mind actually. But its dark out here. Seems much darker than any other night here, and I hate the idea of walking through the woods in the dark, reminding me to much of when I tried and escaped. "Ughh" I huff at the thought.

"Scared of the Dark?" Kylo says from the front seat, he turns off all the engines and the craft goes silent. He turns around and raises an eyebrow to me.

"Thats an understatement." I get up and wait by the ramp. Kylo is not amused by my stubborn behavior. He doesnt stop looking at me.

"Why do you hate me?" He asks. My eyes dart to his.

"Do you really need to ask?" I say, surprised by his question. Its pretty obvious.

 _Lets see... Hm... Kidnapper, King of Knights, Killer of my friends..._

I roll my eyes. He gets up from his seat and comes and stands next to me and ignites his lightsaber. He lowers the ramp and walks out. His lightsaber the only source of light outside the craft. I follow behind. The air instantly makes my skin sticky under all the layers of clothes.

"Come on, I want to move fast. Its going to storm." He calls out to me. All the sudden a rumble emerges in the sky. I hurry behind and we pick up speed. For over an hour we track through the woods till we reach the end of the field so we can cross the lake. Its so dark I cant even see the house. Its crazy that he knows where he is going. Once we are in the boat I remove my cloak and start unwrapping my arms. Im so sticky, I dont know how Kylo bears it. Its even getting hard to breath I am so hot.

"Hold this." He says and holds his lightsaber out for me to take. I can tell hes hesitant.

"I dont want to touch that thing." I say back to him. He rolls his eyes at me and lowers his arm. The only glow around us hues red.

"Im trusting you enough to hold it and not kill me. Take it. Alot of people would kill to touch this." Hes offended. I dont think hes ever let anyone else hold it. I stick my hand out, I just want to get to the house to take a shower. He hands it to me, it weighs more than I thought it would. Its unbalanced in my hand. Heavy, wide, loud, and dangerous. The exhausts on the side scare me the most. I hold it perfectly still above my lap. Looking into its unstable light. Before I know it Kylo takes it from my hand and disengages it. He jumps up onto the dock with ease. He lowers his hand to help me up, I gather my cloak and wraps and take his hand and step onto the dock. He doesnt let go of my hand though, he squeezes it tighter and walks up the stairs. Its almost pitch black, I cant see. He leads me up the stairs. taking his time so I dont fall. at the top of the stairs he stops and lets go of my hand.

"Dont move." And then suddenly a small light emerges from beside me. He lits a candle with just a touch. The small light is enough for my eyes to refocus and I can see the outline of the pillars inside the patio. I let out a sigh, just thankful for the little bit of light that isnt bright red. I never want to touch his lightsaber again, I shutter.

"Can I go upstairs and shower? I cant breath in this." I ask. I feel so sticky and the air off the lake has a chill to it making me cold.

"Sure." He hands me the candle. I walk through the house and up the stairs, quickly closing the bedroom doors behind me. As fast as I can I shower. Im standing in front of the wardrobe with just a towel wrapped around me. My damp hair falling down my back. I settle on a soft pink cotton nightdress dress, it has thin straps and is almost to short but it feels good against my skin. I find a matching robe, it kind of reminds me of my cloak without a hood. Its the same soft pink material. I tie the string around me. Im still to embarrassed to still show so much skin. I fluff out my hair in the mirror. My cheeks are rosey and my eyes bright. I close my eyes and soak in the moment. I tiptoe down the stairs. The downstairs now is lit by a few more candles. I know exactly where Kylo is going to be. Hes out on the patio. Showered as well, and wearing the pants and v-neck tshirt I love. Hes facing the lake, standing attentive with his hands behind his back, holding a lightsaber that I have never seen before. I cant see his face. Its like he isnt really a mass murderer when I see him like this. I lean against the doorway just watching him. The rain falling heavy around the patio.

He turns his head to the side then turns all the way around keeping his hands behind his back. His eyes look at me from head to toe and he bites his lip before making eye contact with me.

"Come here," He says. I slowly walk over to him. The cotton robe brushing along my bare legs and lightly drags behind me. It feels so nice to not be in dirty clothes from home or the first order clothes. Despite the heavy rain around the patio, there is no breeze in here. Im about arms length away. He closes the cap between us in one step. His body flush against mine. He brings one hand to the small of my back. Pressing me even harder against him. His body against mine causing a tingle between my thighs. Hes so alluring, and right now I just want his lips on mine. Its just me and him here.

"Your so beautiful," he whispers and then he kisses me, dragging his hand up my back to in between my shoulder blades. He brings his other arm around but his hand still clutches the lightsaber and I can feel the coldness across my lower back. I freeze. He pulls his head away, he can tell im suddenly terrified.

"Are you going to kill me?" I ask. His eyes widen.

"No," he lets out a laugh. "Never." He drags his spread out hand even higher up my back to the back of my head into my hair. And he kisses me again. His thumb skimming behind my ear. He starts slow, but quickly it deepens. His hand with be saber pulls me tighter. He isnt holding back at all so I dont either. My hands are pinned against his chest. My palms below his collarbone. I stand on my tippy toes to deepen the kiss back but he pulls away and lets me go.

"I have something for you." He says after a few seconds. He back to being arms length away. I wish he was holding me again. I can feel his desire for me, but hes resisting so I take him seriously. He holds the lightsaber in one hand and hes tracing his fingers around the design in the middle. Its a black and white swirl that wraps around the whole thing. Its beautiful.

"Is that what I think it is?" A duel Lightsaber.

"I made it for you after our first training session." He hands it to me carefully and it fits my hand perfect. I twirl it around a few times but dont ignite it yet.

"Why would you make this for me?" I ask. Im puzzled.

"Because I know you arnt going to kill me with it and I wont always be here to protect you. I cant leave you defensless anymore. I was truly impressed with the way you took Cornelius down so fast. He is my top Knight. After that I knew you were ready. Go ahead, start it." He takes a step back. My body starts shaking with adrenaline. My thumb presses the ignite button and two beams of white light flicker out. A steady hum echos with it. I disengage it, I jump into Kylos arms, my bare legs wrap around his waist as the robe parts behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands catch my bare thighs. He has good balance.

"Thank you," I say, and I kiss him. Tightening my arms and legs. He smiles under my kiss and tightens his grip on my legs. I pull back and just look at him. "Like the white of a falling star?" I ask.

"I love you," he whispers. He catches me off guard. My body loosens but his hands under my legs dont let me fall. His eyes searching mine, worried I wont say it back. His words so honest it literally took my breath away, my heart stops a beat.

"I love you too," I whisper back. I tighten my arms and legs again and kiss him. My hair falling around my face. He let me down and takes the lightsaber from my hand and takes my other hand leading me into the house. He sets the lightsaber down on the glass table and starts walking up the steps. I know where this is leading, and I want it too. He stops halfway up the stairs and looks down at me behind him, still holding his hand. He squeezes my hand and keeps walking.

We are in the room and the door is shut, the only light is from a candle I left burning in the corner. Kylo stands me at the end of the bed. His eyes looking all over my body like he doesnt know where to start. He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, and trails his fingers down the side of my neck. I lean into the feeling. His other hand pulls the string of my robe free and it opens. His hand slides inside the robe, tracing the curves of my side and hip with his hand. His other hand wrapped around my kneck, his thumb under my chin holding me still. I close my eyes. His hand in my robe glides along my butt, and then over my flat stomach. The material lightly moves under his hand, he moves his hand past the fabric to my bare leg and he reachs around to my underwear, hooking his thumb underneath it. Tracing the curve of my cheek. It feels so good.

He lets go of my neck but I dont move. He kneals down in front of me. He slides his hands up my legs all the way up under my nightdress and to my navel. His one thumb traces it and then while gliding his hands down back to my thighs he removes my underwear. I cover my face. He stands up removing my hands from my face. He grabs the back of my head and kisses me deeply and then backs me up till the back of my knees hit the bed. He stops, lets go of my head and slides my robe off. It slides to the ground. Exposing so much more of me. Kylo bites his lip and runs his fingers symetrically down my arms giving me goosebumps.

"Mmm," humms from his throat. He places his one hand on my back and the other on the back of my head and he drops us on the bed. My hair laying all around me. Kylos knee between my legs and he shifts so he is only on one elbow, his other hand traveling up my leg. Hes running kisses along my collar bone. I can feel his erection digging into my hip through his pants. he pushes the fabric of my dress up onto my stomach and he slowly inserts a finger. My eyes close and my back archs at the sensation. Kylos mouth is on mine as he absorbs the feeling of decire seeping from me. He rubs his thumb on my clit as he slowly teases me by roating his finger inside me slowly. All my senses fade and all I can feel is his desire for me. He pulls away to remove his all his clothes. He lays on top of me, support his weight with his elbows. I can feel his tip rubbing at my enterance. He slides a hand under my kneck and pulls me into a kiss as he fills me. I moan against his lips. his other hand rotate to under my back and under my nightdress. He pulls his hips back alittle before going back in. I arch my back, moaning again into his lips.

He breaks our kiss to whisper into my ear, "I truly love you." He runs his nose along my jaw and flexes his hips again.

"Ahh," I let out a sigh. He looks up to meet my eyes. "I love you too." I whisper back. I cup his cheek inside my palm and he leans into it. He continues a slow pace of moving in and out, each time deeper than the last. I feel my insides get hot, ready to release. I cant tell hes there too. His fingers dig into my back and he kisses me deep, His tongue gliding against the roof of my mouth. He tenses for a second and looks down on me. He gives me kisses along my jaw as he slowly pulls out. I wince at the sudden emptiness when he gets up and puts his pants back on. I pull my nightdress down and sit up but he crawls into bed pulling me down onto his chest. Hes lightly rubbing my back with his free hand. I close my eyes enjoying the touch.

"I wont be here when you wake up. I have to leave shortly to get things in order. Ill only be gone a few days. I promise." His words fade slowly as I fall asleep, perfectly content in his arms.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Intruder

I'm leaning against a pillar of the patio, looking out to the field where Kylos ship is suppose to be. I knew he wouldn't be here when I woke up, but I didn't think I would feel this empty with him gone. I tie my robe together and take another bite of my pear. It's a little chilly today so I think I'll stay in and explore. I doubt there is anything remotely as interesting as the transmitter. I know Kylo removed everything possible for me to even make one. I go into the kitchen and open the cupboard to see what else there is to munch on. The pantry is full of all interesting foods. I feel bad for being allowed to eat it, going so long without food. This is paradise. I reach in for an apple and close it. Maybe later I'll come back and take a closer look.

I don't want to bother him because I really don't want to know what he's doing. Tomorrow they attack the resistance base and I can't bare the thought of Finn dying. I feel the connection open but we both leave it quiet. He probably doesn't want me to know what's happening either. In one of the rooms is a long bookshelf. The books look old and weathered, maybe this is where he found the Force Bonds books. I run my hand along the spines of them. None of the titles catch my attention. So I move along to lay down on the couch. I fall sleep curled up in the softest white knitted fringed blanket.

When I wake up its past midday. The birds are chirping and the sun is starting to sink in the sky. I walk out to the patio and pull the robe tighter around me. Thankful for its tight long sleeves and its floor length. It's much cooler today than most days, it could be from the storm last night. I noticed before the one room has a fireplace so I walk back into the house, go start a fire,and sit down on the couch with the white blanket pooled in my lap and my lightsaber in my hands. I observe the hard work and dedication that went into making it. It's a perfect balanced weapon. It has the ability to only have one side lite so it's a single lightsaber also. It's so unique. And mine.

Tomorrow Kylo fights the resistance and I'm here sitting next to a fire under the nicest blanket iv ever seen and im playing with my new Sith lightsaber. Waiting for the universes greatest threat to come back and get me. And he loves me. I drop my hands and saber into my lap and lower my head. I'm just so exhausted all the sudden and I feel I could sleep for three days strait. I sit there till I can tell its night time. Iv been running my fingers up and down the lightsaber a hundred times. I lay down and drift again. It's so peaceful here and it makes sleep come easy.

Just then a noise outside the room made me push the blanket off my lap and jump up to my feet. Lightsaber in hand but I don't ignite it. The fireplace lights up the whole room and outside the door, so I wait till I see Kylo come into view. Maybe he decided not to fight.

"Kylo?" I say. I wait to see him pop through the door and I can hug him, kiss him, and thank him for deciding not to fight. But another voice answers me back instead, startling me.

"Rey?" The voice says.

"Finn?" And then from outside the doorway, Finn emerges. In full resistance pilot attire. His face surprised and excited. I want to go and hug him but I don't. This is not good. He looks at me from head to toe and eyes the lightsaber in my hand. He takes a step towards me but I take a step back, the heat from the fire intensifying.

"I can't believe your here. It was a hunch that it would work. Poe scoped this place out when I went to retrieve you from the field. I was actually expecting him to be here with you but it's just you isn't it?" He asks, he keeps walking closer to me.

"Your the General now?" My heart hurts, I need answers.

"You look... Amazing... I need to get you out of here. I know he's planning to attack the base tomorrow. Don't worry. I knew he would be busy trying to ambush us if he knew we were attempting a rescue mission on the Destroyer. I thought he would take you back here. We found the mole a long time ago so we planted false evidence."

"You should not have done that. He's going to kill you for sure. He probably already knows your here." My heart is beating so fast now. Kylo senses I'm under stress immediately and he's pulling the moment from my head.

'Did you send me away purposely so he could come rescue you' he growls.

He's flipping out on his end. I can't hear him smashing things. His violent temper sends a sharp pain through my head and sends me to my knees. I drop the lightsaber and grab at my temples.

 _No! Get out!_

The pain stops. And Finn is right by my side. His hand on my back and the other wrapped around my forearm to help me up when I'm ready to stand.

"What is happening Rey? Come on, there is a small boat I found, I'm in the small field across the lake." He pulls me up but I try and resist him but he's gripping me strong. "Why won't you come with me, I risked everything to come get you. Come on!"

'You set me up didn't you?'

 _You can tell if I'm lying. I did not call him here!_

Another sharp pain stings through my head. Why doesn't he believe me. Finn squeezes his hand around my side and keeps dragging me along. But I manage to break free of his grip. By now we are on the patio.

"Stop Finn! Listen to me. I can't go with you. I told you to not come for me!" I yell.

"What?! Do you fight for the first order then? Is that it?" His question stings me. I can feel Kylo in the back of my mind getting onto his ship. Oh no. It would still be along time before he gets here.

"No, absolutely not!" I yell in disgust.

"Then what Rey? Why won't you come back with me. I lost my arm for you!" He removes his glove to expose a mechanical hand. I start sobbing.

"I'm sorry, I never wanted any of this to happen." I lower my head, pulling the robe tight around me blocking out the cool night air.

"Whatever he has said to you he brainwashed you. I can't believe your even alive! Do you know what type of monster he is, I have seen him in action. He a heartless creature who has held you a prisoner for over a month now. And now you don't want to leave when he isn't stopping you?" Has it really been a month?

"It's nothing like that Finn, I CANT leave. I literally can't. I'm bound to him." I regret it as soon as I say it.

'If you go with him I'll find you in a heartbeat and skin him in front of you.'

"Your... what?" A look of disgust washes over his face. "What has he done to you?"

"Leave right now and you can be long gone before he gets here. He's coming." I say through my teeth, he doesn't know him like I do. The gentle side of Kylo. I'm trying to save Finns life.

"How do you know that?" His head cocks to the side in confusion. "I'm not leaving without you." He starts to walk to me but I take a deep breath and open my palm and call my lightsaber to me and I ignite it. Finn steps back and is taken away by what he sees. The whole patio glows in bright white light.

"I'm trying to save your life Finn, at least for now." I stand up strait and look dead into Finns eyes. "You will leave and never come back. You were never here. You don't remember who I am." I wave my hand not holding my lightsaber. Finns body straitens up.

"I will leave and never come back. I was never here. I don't know who you are." And Finn turns around and walks down the stairs. I disengage my lightsaber and watch until I can't see him anymore. I stand on the patio watching till his xwing takes off. Once he's gone I go back inside.

I feel Kylo punch something really hard. I roll my eyes at him. I throw a few more logs into the fire and I grab the soft white blanket. I wrap it around me and lay on the couch. Oh the wrath of Kylo when he returns.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Making Memories

I wake up facing the inside of the couch, my head on my arm as a pillow. The blanket covering me from hip down. It's light out, and my head is pounding. I sit up and jump when I see Kylo sitting across from me in a chair. He isn't wearing his usual black clothes, but the more relaxed ones he wears when we are here. His ankle hooked over his knee, he's leaning back and his eyes are tight on mine. He's covering his mouth by the way he's resting his and on his face.

"How long have you been there?" I ask, rubbing my eyes to focus them. It's so bright and warmer than its been the past few two days.

'Not long' he answers coldly.

I'm about to speak but he moves his hand from his mouth and holds it up warning me to stop. He doesn't want my excuses.

"Do you think I'm lying to you?" He's going to be mad no matter what I say so I just spit it out anyways. He sits up and shifts so his elbows are on his knees and he's leaning in to talk to me closer. There is a small wooden table I between us. He doesn't speak. Instead he pulls all my memories for the day, all I did was sleep and look at my lightsaber. He closes his eyes and bows his head.

"I can't believe you let him go!" He looks up, his eyes intense.

"Excuse me? Since when do I fight for you?" I stand up and take my lightsaber off the couch and turn to walk out but Kylo stands and grabs my wrist. Squeezing hard.

"You are part of the First Order still. Even if you don't fight for them." He snaps.

"How long do you think you can keep this up, huh? I didn't call him here. I sent you away to take the pressure off me of being something I'm not. I don't want to kill people! I don't want to be like you!"

I pull my wrist from him and walk upstairs to my room. Locking the door behind me. I take a quick shower and look for something simple to wear, I want to get out to the meadow today if Kylo isn't planning on taking me back to the destroyer already. But how he is dressed makes me think we are staying here for awhile. I find a pair of black fitted pants and a black tshirt in a drawer in the bottom of the wardrobe. I feel guilty for wearing this stuff, they are so nice.

I walk down the stairs, trying to avoid him as much as possible. I know he's still sitting in the living room. So I am able to turn the corner towards the back boat without him noticing me. I walk down the stairs and get in the boat. I manage to get out a little bit before I see Kylo standing on the dock. I giggle, but my rowing is weak and I'm moving slow. Kylos eyes narrow and he removes his shirt and socks. I don't want to think about how perfect his body is right now so I turn my head and try to row faster. I hear Kylo dive into the water and I stop rowing.

 _I can't swim._ I plead with him to not do something irrational.

I feel him moving under the water. My hands grip the sides of the boat. He's going to flip it, I feel it. The water shifts before a wave rolls the whole boat over. I plunge underwater, kicking my feet and moving my arms around. Trying to get to the surface. Something from under me swims up and pushes me to the surface. When I break surface I cough up some water and gasp for air. I look over and Kylo has his arm under my legs and around my back. His hair all over the place, he's smiling.

I drop my head back so my hair is in the water, "I wasn't planning on going swimming. I can't swim" my arms around his neck, I lift my head up and burry it into his neck. Somehow he walked back to a ledge underwater, it seems like part of the house. The water is waist deep. He sets me down in the water, my teeth chattering together. My skin cold.

"You have to learn somehow." He says. "I am still your teacher, and you said I was a good one." He smiles and sinks into the water, leaving me on this mysterious ledge by myself. I close my eyes concentrating where in the water he is. He moves fast. He pops up almost in the middle of the lake, he submerges again and within a minute he's right next to me again.

"Shouldn't you be back on the Destroyer now that it was all a hoax." He straitens up, water dripping down his abs. "I mean, now what? That was just a diversion."

"Why must you ask this right now." He splashes water at me. I'm shocked at how playful he is being considering last night. Maybe he doesn't blame me. The next few hours Kylo teaches me how to swim, I finally get the hang of it and I don't want to get out. I swim out as far as I'm comfortable with and then back to the ledge. I'm to exhausted to go to the meadow now, the thought makes me sad. Kylo notices my tiredness and swims over to me.

"Do you want to rest? We have to head back tomorrow. I have a lot to do." He looks down on me. I start shivering. "Okay, enough." He states. We swim over to the ladder off the shaded dock. It feels strange being on solid ground without the water, my legs jiggle. Kylo chuckles and sweeps me off my feet. I lean into him and close my eyes. When he is setting me down I'm standing in front of the fireplace. I'm dripping wet. He starts the fire with one touch and he turns to me.

His eyes look over my body, he slowly reaches for the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head and sets it on the ground. My skin goosebumps at the feeling of the warmth of the fireplace. He runs his hands down my sides and then hooks his thumbs into my pants and removes them. I'm just standing in my underwear and bra. Shivering but warm. I wrap my hands around me, my hair is cold and wet. He proceeds to remove his pants till he is just in his black briefs and he stands in front of me. His hands on my shoulders and then runs them down my arms , cupping at my elbows.

"Arnt you mad at me?" I look up at him, slowly my body is warming up. "You came all the way back here in a rush to yell at me didn't you?"

"Yes, but the moment I saw you sleeping on the couch, so peaceful and beautiful, I couldn't yell at you. And I know your telling me the truth so I don't want to fight with you right now. I don't get you here often." His mouth is on mine. His hands spread out on my back, my hands find his hair. His hand one hand skims over my butt and pulls me closer to him. He moves me back to the couch, I feel it hit the back of my knees. He lowers me down, without ever breaking our kiss. He grinds his erection against my pubic bone. The heat between my legs pool. I just wish there wasn't two layers between us. He slides his hand over my breast and stomach, slowly reaching his hand inside my underwear. Massaging me with his fingers. I moan again his lips.

He stops and spreads his hand over my hip and squeezes. Sending tingles down my leg. He gathers my hands in his one hand and raises them above my head, using that hand to hold his weight up. He removes my underwear and I'm relieved to have them off. They were still wet and cold against my skin. He removes his underwear with his one hand and looks down at me and he's biting his lip. He lowers his head and lines kisses my neck and down between my breasts. I moan at the pleasure I get from his little action. I close my eyes and rest my head to the side on my one arm. I let him take control because that's who he is. And I honestly like it, I'm to embarrassed to do anything he doesn't engage in first. He moves his one hand down and runs his thumb down my already wet entrance, I just want him to take me now. I crave him and his touch. I forget who he is.

He slowly glides himself in and I arch my back in response and Kylo takes the opportunity to slip his free hand under my back and pull me close to him. He lets go of my hands above my head and grabs the back of my neck, forcing me to kiss him deep. And without pulling out he turns his body and is sitting on the couch, I'm strattling him. Sending him deeper into me. I gasp. Until now he hasn't even broke our kiss. He tucks some hair behind my ear and he reaches up and takes my bra off. He runs his hands over my breast and my nipples harden in response. He spreads his one hand along my ribs where they were once broken, he glides his hand to my back, some of his finger spread across the top of one of my butt cheeks. I love his skin on mine. He digs his fingers in and moves me forward and I slide back. The feeling sends butterfly's up my spine. I roll my head to the side, exposing my neck and Kylo takes the chance to kiss me there and down my shoulder.

He pushes my hips again and moans in response, his head falls back and he closes his eyes. I like seeing him be so submissive to me. I start moving the way he showed me and he grips my hips hard. Pushing me down on him. I feel my insides tighten, I'm about to release and so is Kylo, his fingers dig deep into my hips. It's hurts but I push through it. His body tenses and then he leans in and plants a kiss on my ribs. He flips me on my back and pulls out. He gets up and walks out of the room. I hate the empty feeling I get when he leaves.

Each time we make love, we connect deeper and deeper. It gets more intense, and more comfortable.

I roll over on the couch because I have no dry clothes down here. I notice the white blanket on the back of the couch, so I pull it around me and lay down. My body defeated. Kylo comes back from the other room and giggles when he sees me. He reaches down and scoops me in his arms, he's already dressed, at least in dry pants. I lean against him and close my eyes, I fall asleep before we even hit the stairs.

** Make sure you read chapter 33, since I uploaded 2 at once!**


	35. Chapter 35

**** I am so sorry! I had to rewrite the chapter. My computer glitched and didnt save it!****

Chapter 35: Green vs. White

Im only dressed in the light pink robe. Not even bothering to put on anything underneath. I didn't want to wake Kylo because he was sleeping so peacefully. I'm now standing in the kitchen looking out the windows that overlook the lake. I don't want to leave the Lake House, it's so beautiful here. I frown at the thought. I turn my attention to the pantry and try and find something to eat for breakfast.I open the pantry and examine some food I have never seen before. I notice a harmless loaf of bread on the top shelf. I look around me to make sure no one is watching, even though I know no one is. I open my palm and will the bread to slowly come to my hand, laughing at myself. It looks so good, I go to take a bite of the bread and it just smells foul to me. I throw it on the counter and clutch my mouth trying not to throw up. I take a few deep breaths through my nose and walk out of the kitchen, I just completely lost my appetite.

Kylo is standing in the dining room in the middle of the house. "Are you okay? You look a little pale." He says, and he walks over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah, just nervous to go back to the Destroyer I guess," I say. "What do you think will happen to me when we get up there?"

He sighs, "None of this will fall on you. I promise." He runs his hands down my sleeves and grabs my elbows pulling me to him tightly, his hands wrap around me and he lowers his head into my shoulder. "I love you."

I pull back a little to say it back but he surprised me by raising his one hand to in my hair and kisses me. I love this man so much, and I can't deny it anymore. Being here with him like this is what fairytales are like. He bites my bottom lip a little and then pulls back to look at me. I open my eyes and his eyes are serious.

"What are you wearing under this?" He asks and then he smiles. I just shrug in his arms and smile back at him. "We can be late." He whispers and he kisses me again leading me to the living room.

* * *

The next day Im standing in the white room waiting for Kylo to come back, he said he had to make some arrangements. But its been hours and im completely bored. At least I have my Lightsaber hidden under my cloak, a slight comfort. A droid brings me in the usual breakfast of grains and fruit but I still dont have an appetite. I walk over to the table and pick up a piece of fruit eyeing it, but my stomach doesnt agree and I feel the bile rise in my throat. I put the fruit down and breath through my nose. Maybe its my nerves. I start pacing around the room but decide maybe taking a nap is the best option. Im awaken by kylo rubbing my leg, he has no helmet on, his face looks worried. He runs his glove hand down my thigh.

"Your not eating," he says. I roll my eyes and sit up to push past him but he puts his arm in front of me stopping me from getting off the bed.

"I just dont like it here." I push his arm out of the way and get off the bed. "So now what? Keep me in this room forever?" Kylo gets up and goes to stand next to me, I ignore him. Pulling my hood up over my head, keeping my face down.

"Your not going to like it but the Supreme Leader requests both our presence and the Generals in the throne room. I tried getting you out of it but..." He brings his hand up and grabs my chin and makes me look at him. "Do you trust me?"

"You. Yes. Them. No." I know the General is out for my blood. Kylo presses his lips into a fine line. He is very cautious with his movements towards me on the Destroyer. Anyone could see but sometimes he slips up. He lets go and steps back away from me. His helmet hisses shut and he tilts his head motioning for me to follow him. I do as im told. I was calm until we get to the black corridor and saw the General standing at the entrance. Waiting for us. His head darts to me.

"Your both late." He snickers.

'Your just early." Kylo snaps back. He doesnt like being questioned or accused of anything. I look between them. Something is seriously causing tension between these two.

Kylo waves the black door open and I follow behind them with my fingers interlocked in front of me. My eyes on the back of Kylos head because im afraid to look at the General. Its not that im afraid that he will kill me, I am afraid what will happen to me if I kill him. We are all standing on the platform, I positioned myself so Kylo is in the middle of the General and I. He has this vendetta against me, he thinks im in the way of something big. I make eye contact with the General once, and he narrows his eyes at me. He is much taller than I am, even from a few feet away his height and mass is profound looking. The hologram flickers on and Snoke leans forward on the throne.

"Ahhh, Tell me Kylo Ren... How was the attack on Dagobah?" Snokes eyes shoot right to me.

"Supreme Leader, the attack was unsuccessful. When my Knights arrived, the base was empty. They fed our source with false information. My knights are working extremely hard to locate them." Kylo states.

"Were were you when all this was happening Master Ren?" Snoke asks. My heart starts racing and I break out in a cold sweat.

'Calm yourself' Kylos words echo is my subconscious.

"I was busy training my new apprentice. I thought her progress was more valuable than what I had to offer on Dagobah. My apologies if I was mistaken." Kylo says. His voice booms through the large room.

"How are you progressing?" Snoke turns his attention back to me. His large eyes looking me over.

"There is still so much left to learn." Each word burns my throat. The idea of acknowledging him makes me sick. His voice is just as dark as his soul.

"I hardly think she is even a necessity of the first order. I find her roaming the halls unattended and Master Ren has brought her to the main deck. She could easily access our plans and contact the Resistance again. I feel she should not be trusted." The General interrupts. He has some balls for talking like that in front of Kylo but he shows no fear. Plus no one knows the extent of our relationship.

"Is this true Master Ren?" Snoke looks down on Kylo who looks right at the General the back at Snoke.

"Yes Supreme Leader. It was a mistake. It will never happen again." Kylo says and then turns towards me. "Right?"

My heart stops for a second at how to respond. "Yes Master." Is all I manage to say. I bow my head and trace the cracks in the floor with my eyes.

"Hmm..." Snoke says and leans back in his chair. He waves one hand in front of him, "Proceed Master Ren, take the girl and continue her training. I will be visiting you shortly."

"Where do you suggest I take her?" Kylo asks.

"Bespin. Now go." Snoke says and points with a shaking hand to the door. Kylo turns and heads down the stairs and I follow. The General starts talking to Snoke but it slowly fades as I walk towards the door.

"500 Thousand troops are ready now, the other 500 thousand ready in months time..." and we are out the door so I cant hear anything else.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Clouds

 _I thought we were going back to the room._

I want to know more about this Bespin place and why he wants Kylo to take me there. Im noticing that he is taking a different way. I'm stunned when we end up at the bridge before the Knights room.

"Ohhh noooo, I am NOT going over there." I put both my hands up then cross my arms and pout. No way, he's crazy. Twice I have screwed things up for all of them. I'm glad I know I can take them but I don't ever want to have to do that again.

"Yes you are. You don't have a say in what you do or don't do." And he grabs my arm and drags me over the bridge. Squeezing tight, I try resisting. My hood falls off my head and my hair all over the place. He stops and looks at me then keeps pulling me till we are in front of the door.

'Do you think I would let them hurt you?' He roughly lets my arm go and it sends me stumbling back. He's mad I questioned him.

"Just do as your told" he demands and waves the door open. I sit in the only open chair. and dont dare to look at any of the Knights.

Kylo stands in the Kings spot. "We have new orders, we are going to Bespin to continue our efforts in finding the Resistance, we will use it as home base. I will expect all of you to expand your searches. I don't care what you have to do to get answers. Burn villages to the ground. I want to find them!" Kylos words make my heart bleed. He will always be a monster, and yet I love him. "We leave tomorrow at 0400."

All the Knights get up and leave but I know better and I remain seated. "I thought we were going alone." I say when it's just us in the room.

"I still have a job to do." He says coldly. He doesn't think of me as a job, he says he just enjoys having me there. I don't feel that way most of the time.

My eyes narrow and I look into the black of his mask. "What will you do when you find them?" I ask.

"Obviously eliminate them. Nothing will change what I have to do. I'm just going to do my best to keep you out of it so your conscious is clear." He says. I stand up and slam my hands on the table, which stung more than the point I was trying to make.

"If you think I'm going to just sit back and watch you kill all those innocent people you are a lunatic!" I scream at him.

He slams his fists on the table so hard it ripples under the force. "YOU WILL DO EXACTLY THAT! You would have to kill me to stop me." His mechanical voice sounds so hallow. "And I know you are not going to kill me." He stands up and starts to walk over to me. "Because I won't let you."

"What makes you think I can't?" I grab and ignite my lightsaber. This is the first time I'll be able to use it. Kylo ignites his.

"You really want to try and fight me with the very weapon I gave you." He says. His anger radiating off him and I focus on using it to my advantage and feed off of it, I only have to take 3 steps before our lightsabers meet. I swing at all angles but he meets every one of my hits. He's fast. He force pushes me against the far wall near the door. I get up and send a push to his foot sending him to the ground. I hurry to my feet and swing down on him but meet his saber right above his mask. He rolls over, holds his hand up and freezes me mid swing. He stands up and grabs the lightsaber from my hand and disengages it. He unfreezes me and I sink to the floor like the wind got knocked out of me. He starts circling around me. "When a Apprentice turns on their Master there is a break in their trust."

"Good thing... I'm not just... your apprentice." I say between catching my breath. I stand up and he's arms length away in front of me. "I can not just sit back and allow this to happen to innocent people. Your a monster!" And he waves his hand in front of me and everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up groggy on the bed in the white room. My body soar and tired. I sit up and get an awful cramp deep in my core. "Ooooaaaf," I sputter and grab at my pelvic area. It hits again. "Ahhhhhh," I roll back on the bed in the fetal position, clutching at my stomach. In a few minutes the pain passes and I spread out on my stomach, taking deep breaths. Iv never had period cramps like that before. I'm a week or so late, It's probably stress. I burry my face into the pillow. I'll just wait it out and I push the thought into the back of my kind.

The door slides open and Kylo walks in. "When you get unreasonable, sometimes it's better to just shut you up." He says so coldly through his mask. I move my head to the side and blink a few times clearing my vision from being face first in the pillow.

"That's not fair," I state. I press my eyebrows together at him and turn and face the other way out the window. My cloak being used as a blanket around me, I am most thankful for it. He comes and sits on the edge of the bed, I feel it shift as he sits down and I hear the hiss of his mask. He sets it on the bed and I feel him crawl over to me, he places presses his hand in front of my face down on the mattress, he's leaning over me but I can't see his face from the way I'm laying, his body mostly hovered above me. He picks up his hand and brushes the hair out of my faces and over the side of my head, actually bringing him into view. His gloves lights graze my cheek. My hair a no longer protective shield from him.

"Why must you always try and defy me?" He says. I glance up at him then back out the window and then close my eyes. I am so tired all the sudden, like we trained all day. "Are you tired?"

"Mmmm", is the only sound I make. My body half between sleep and awake.

"We have to leave soon." He sighs. I feel him remove his hand next to me, shift his body, and he lays down next to me. His arm goes under my pillow and his other lays on top of my back, his hand wrapped around to my side. He tightens his grip around my waist and pulls me closer to him so his forearm can lay flat across my stomach. My back to his chest and his nose in my hair. He starts rubbing circles along my ribs with his thumb. His touches gentle.

I feel as though I'm dreaming this. "Mm," is all I manage to hum out before my body totally shuts down.

* * *

I wake to Kylo gently nudging my shoulder, "Time to go." He's crouched down next to the bed. He brings his hand up and moves a few pieces of crazy hair out of my face. To quick, he stands up and hisses his mask back on. I frown at him and slowly drag myself out of the bed till I'm standing in front of him. My eyes still heavy start to close and I sway a little but his hands catch my shoulders. "Are you sure your okay? You really need to eat." I open my eyes and look up at him. But I can't see his face behind the blackness of his mask,

"I'm just really tired of all of this." I look back down. He slides his hands down my arms and let's go. He turns around and opens the door with a wave of his hand and I follow him, bringing my hood up over my head as we leave the room.

We don't acknowledge each other till we are in hyper speed again, Kylo leaves his helmet on this time. He turns his chair towards me.

"Are you going to put me to sleep again?", I ask. I don't understand why he doesn't like me awake when we are in here. He's so secretive.

"Do you want me to? I just think it's better than enduring the flight." He says, and tilts his head to the side. Waiting for an answer.

"Why? Do you just not want to talk to me?" I ask. I cross my arms and look out the window. I hear the hiss of his mask and he sets it lightly on the ground in between his feet.

"What do you want to talk about? We have a few hours." He's leaning in, his elbows on his knees and hands folded together. "I do not want to argue about the inevitable." His eyes dark when I look over. I swivel my chair to face him.

"Tell me more about you." I tell him. I really know nothing about him yet I love him.

He laughs at me and leans back in his chair and rubs his chin. "Like what?"

"Ummm," and I say the first question that pops in my head, "What's your favorite color?" I feel the red rise to my cheeks. What a strange question to ask him.

He laughs so loud, the loudest I have ever heard. "Black. Obviously. And red." And he smiles and looks at me, he looks so handsome right now. "My turn," he says, "Where did you learn to fly?"

I think for a second, "I studied them a lot. I can fly anything." I'm proud of myself for picking up the ability to navigate myself if need be.

I smirk, "Can I have my lightsaber back now?" His smile disappears and he shakes his head at me. I pout and cross my arms and turn my chair to look back out at the blue hue of passing hyper speed stars and my stomach growls. But the thought of food makes me feel ill. I break out in a cold sweat and I feel all my color drain. Kylo stands up and walks the few feet over to me and kneels in front of my legs. He removes his right glove and cups my cheek and runs his fingers to the back of my neck.

"Your warm. Do you feel ill?" My eyes eyes look down to him. I haven't been feeling good lately, maybe I'm coming down with something.

"I don't know." I say back. I can't really pinpoint what's wrong with me.

"How do you not know?" He says angrily. "Is this why you are not eating?"

"Yeah, but it will pass. My body is overwhelmed. That's all." I can feel my vision blur. I know it's from lack of food and water I just have been refusing. I try and stay focused.

"Your severely dehydrated and your pulse is weak. You must eat as soon as we get to Bespin. I'm ordering you to." His fingers tighten on the back of my neck. He's upset with me. He stands up goes to look at a hologram of his ship hovering above the dashboard.

"What's Bespin?" I ask. I curl my feet under me, using the arm of the chair for my arm support. Laying my head on my arm, just trying to stay awake. Its actually more comfortable than I want to be right now. He turns around.

"It's a all gas planet, consists of only clouds. It's one of our most secretive bases, it's highly equipped with tracking equipment and allows us access to a galaxy archive. We can pinpoint any planet and see what's going on in real time. It's very valuable for this mission..." At that very moment his eyes light up with joy. "The domes in the sky."

"Have you been there before?" I ask, and yawn.

"It's where I trained my Knights." And he turns around and goes back to the hologram. I close my eyes and fall asleep. Dreaming of the flowers in the meadow.

 ****May the 4th be with all my readers :)****


	37. Chapter 37

**** Maybe its time Rey finds out why she has been so sick ;)**

 **Thank you everyone for the reviews and support! It makes writing even more enjoyable :) ****

Chapter 37: Clouds pt.2

I open my eyes and all I can see is a sea of clouds out the front window of Kylos ship. I pick my head up and stretch my legs. Kylo looks at me and frowns.

"Im going to get you some medicine as soon as we land. And fluids. You woke up right in time." Kylo says and points to outside. I get up, walk next to him, and look out the window. I see endless blue sky and scattered large white clouds. Within a few seconds a cluster of structures comes into view. Some hidden half in clouds. It's has a series of small and large, silver, slightly rounded, saucers. All with surrounding windows to overlook the clouds. Coming off each saucer is a long downward point. There could be endless buildings here. They are all connect somehow with long enclosed glass bridges. Off each of the smaller saucer buildings are ship landing ports.

'It's pretty neat.'

Kylo lands on one of the structures ports. In front of us is a two story house of glass under a slightly curved silver roof. When I step down the ramp a small breeze blows against me. It's cool and refreshing. The air is crisp and it makes me feel a little better. I guess sleeping for basically a whole day was good for me. I turn and half smile at Kylo. He turns around and waves the ramp up and he places his hand on the small of my back and motions me to keep moving forward to the large silver doors. His helmet between his arm and side.

Once inside I'm taken back by what I see. We are standing in a quaint living room with a large sectioned black couch and 2 large grey chairs mirroring it. It's on a fluffy black rug. The floor is black wood and everything else is either silver or black.

"Very First Order." I say, admiring the color choices. I can't deny it feels comfortable in here.

"What else did you expect?" He raises an eyebrow at me. He sets his helmet down on a table near the other door.

There is a long table of coals in the very center of the couch and chairs, a fireplace coffee table. It's looks cozy. Around to the other side of the living room is a kitchen, everything is open concept, allowing you to see almost 360 view of the outside. There is a spiral staircase in the center of the structure. You can't see the other buildings from in here. It's extremely private but also open. But you are really floating in the sky. It's amazing.

"What is this place?" I turn towards him and he removes his helmet.

"It was my home for a long time when I was training my Knights. It's the safest place to be. Completely hidden from the Resistance, they don't even know it's exists. I designed this place myself. Everything in here acts on force." He walks over and waves a hand over a light and it turns on.

"And Snoke trusts you to bring me here?" I ask.

"He trusts me not to let you screw up again. And I plan to make sure you don't." He says. His eyes narrow and then his whole face relaxes.

"How are you going to do that?" I ask. "Are you going to put me in a cell again?" I lower my head and sigh.

"You are going to be staying here. Im taking in account how long it would take me to reach you if you did decide to do something stupid." He says.

"Is that allowed?" I grin up at him. He steps forwards and wraps his arms around me, just lowering his head so his cheek is in my hair. He squeezes tighter. I wrap my hands around to his back and squeeze him in response. He pulls away, holding me away at arms length.

"It's forbidden." He chuckles. "You need to eat, you are far to thin. The fridge is full. Go find something. That's a demand." He says. His eyes serious again. He lets go of me and walks over to the other door and turns on a control panel. He types in a few codes and the doors beep. He walks over and waves his hand over the fireplace and beautiful red and yellow flames spring up and dance. All the sudden then the shades start lowering. It saddens me.

 _The clouds were so beautiful._

"When was the last time you ate? Your as pale as snow right now." He asks, ignoring my thought. I turn around and walk, arms crossed, to the kitchen. It's like, thanks for reminding me how much the only thing I miss about home is the sun. I open the fridge and I pull out a piece of fruit and examine it in my hand. I place it back because I don't think I can even force myself to eat if I wanted to. I close the fridge and turn around. Kylo is standing right there, I actually bump into his chest.

"You trying to slowly kill yourself?" He asks. I brush past him but he catches my arm before I get to far.

"I just don't feel well."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner. I could have gotten you medicine earlier." He says. He looks worried. I should of said something but it didn't seem like a big deal. I figured it would pass.

"I was to busy worrying about if I would have a life to live. Sorry." I'm mad that he's mad at me for not telling him about it. "I want to eat. But I can't, every time I look at or smell food I want to throw up. I'm just sick and really tired all the time, I have horrible cramps and I am super soar. It happens. Okay? Your putting me through a lot." I yell at him and he squeezes harder. His eyes narrow.

"When did this start exactly?" He ask, his tone deep.

"A week ago." I say. "Let me go." I pull at my arm again but he pulls me back into him and he grabs my other arm. His eyes darting back and forth between mine. He lowers his eyes and looks back up at me. He loosens his grip on my arms alittle.

'Could it be possible?' I have no idea if he's talking to me or himself.

"What?" I cringe. He lets me go and walks over to a drawer in a chest behind the couch. He pulls out a small silver mechanism that I don't recognize. He turns it around in his hands a few times and walks over to me. He grabs my hand but he's being gentle, but he never looks at me. From the bottom of the machine, a small pin emerges. Kylo turns the silver device and holds the pin above my finger. Hesitates and shakes his head and then presses it down just hard enough on my finger to draw blood.

"Ouch". I gasp.

He removes it and gives me my hand back. I start sucking on my finger to stop the bleeding. He takes of his gloves and sets them on the back of one of the grey chairs. He stands next to the fireplace. A small hologram flickers on over the device. A DNA strand and a bunch of small data I can't read from this far away. I walk and sit on the couch waiting for him to tell me what deadly illness the First Order gave to me. Probably slipped it in my food.

He suddenly crushes the device in his hand and looks dead at me. I can see his eyes over the flame and I swear they are yellow. I have never seen such a thing before. He doesn't even resemble Kylo. He ignites his saber and slowly stalks towards me. I go to freeze him, I am so confussed. He gets me before my butt leaves the cushion. He points his lightsaber inches from my face. I can feel it's heat.

"I should kill you right now." He says through his teeth, even without his mask... his voice sounds terrifying.

 _Is it contagious?_ Tears fall from my eyes _, I don't understand._

"Your not sick." His voice so cold. I can't see his face past the glare of the saber in front of my face. "Your pregnant." His words bleed into my ears. My heart stops as it registers what he just said.I cant be, I can't have this mans child. My chest literally aches in what feels like grief, my heart breaking at what have I done by allowing this to happen. And how I could be so blind to it.

He unfreezes me, "I should kill you." His voice venomous.

 _Do it! I didnt want this!_ I scream into his head. Tears dripping from my face. I clench my chest and moan out in pain. My life is over anyways. I heave in between sobs. This can't be happening. My body already so weak and giving out.

"Do you have any idea what is going to happen to you? To me!" He brings his lightsaber to right next to my ear. I can't breath I'm crying so hard. I let everyone down. I specially let Luke down. Until now I still hoped I could somehow escape. And now I'm pregnant. Kylo disengages his lightsaber and stands in front of me. He reaches down and puts his hand in my armpit and pulls me up. Thankful because my arms throb but it's still painful. Hes looking down on me. His eyes are still piercing yellow so I close my eyes so I don't have to look at him. The sobs keep coming. My chest feels so tight right now. I'm still clutching it.

"What am I suppose to do with you?" He says through his teeth.

"I...don't... know" I manage to say. My eyes still closed.

"Me either." He lets me go. I hear him hiss on his helmet and I open my eyes. He punches in a code next to the door and leaves towards the other buildings. The door slamming shut behind him.

I will always be Kylo Rens prisoner. Now more than ever.


	38. Chapter 38

****Thank you for your reviews, I love all the feedback. You are all amazing!**

 **I know people think hes possessive, and I agree. But that's because I don't see him being the type to let someone else run the show. They are a good balance because they also bring out the bad and good in each other.** ******

Chapter 38: Regrets

I'm just watching the flames from the fireplace change from red to yellow. I finally stopped crying, my arms wrapped around my legs and my chin on my knees. It's been a few hours and he hasn't come back. I can't believe this happened. I can't believe he just left me in here. I tried both the doors but they won't open without a code.

His heartbeat is beating with unison to mine. I refuse to acknowledge his presence and he doesn't dare to pry at mine. The tears start again so I stand up, in hope that going upstairs to the bathroom and splashing some water on my face will make me feel a little better.

I take my time walking up them, my body is tired from all crying. I barley make it halfway up the stairs when I have to sit down and reevaluate the amount of effort that it would require to walk up the rest of the stairs. I stand up and grip the metal railing and one step at a time make it to the top. It's gorgeous up here. A large square platform bed lays in in the middle of the floor to my right. Its covered in black pillows and blankets. The ground the same black wood. I can see outside up here, the shades aren't down. In the distance I see another structure similar to this one, poking out through some clouds. It's so far away it's impossible to make out what's inside. A ship docked on the platform off it. There are a few dressers and a good portion of the windows are blocked by a room coming off the wall. Must be the bathroom.

Once inside I instinctively lock the door. The windows continues in here but the windows are a frosted glass so it's impossible to see in or out. The shower takes up the width of the room, it's shower head in the ceiling and some on the sides. I have never seen anything like this before. I splash some water on my face and thats when I finally get a look at myself. I am thin and fragile looking. I run my fingers through my thick hair and try and get some knots out. It's pretty long when I don't wear it up. It falls in light waves down to my elbows. My skin almost grey it's so pale. My cheeks look sunken in some. I look down at my stomach. It's completely flat. I slowly take off my layers of clothes till I'm in just a T-shirt and my underwear. I turn to look at myself in the mirror and pull up my shirt to reveal just under my bellybutton. I wonder what I will look like when I start getting bigger. I look down and spread my hand over my stomach and close my eyes. I can't believe there is a baby in there. What have we done?

I open the door slowly just to peak out and make sure no one is there, and no one is. I know Kylo is nowhere near me but I still get freaked out being alone. I walk over and set my clothes down on the floor next to the bed and climb under the covers. I cross my arms under a pillow and lay on my stomach, turning my head to face out one of the large windows. It's so bright in here but I don't care, I just keep watching the clouds till my eyes close.

* * *

I wake to a familiar feeling running down my exposed arm that peaks out of the blanket. I slowly open my eyes to see Kylo sitting on the edge of the bed, just looking at my arm and touching it lightly with his leather glove. His eyes shoot to mine. His face stone and emotionless. His helmet sits by my feet. I can feel the weight of it weighing down on the blanket. He must of lowered the shades because it's dark in here now. The sun never sets here, its always day so these blinds are a must. My eyes water up right away at the sight of him.

"You just left me here." I sniffle again.

"I brought you something to help you eat and sleep." He says and then he brings to view his hand from his lap, in it he holds a syringe filled with a red liquid.

"I don't want to sleep." I say, I'm about to get up but his eyebrows crease and all the sudden I cant move. He wraps his fingers around my arm and injects the liquid. He unfreezes me and within seconds a warm tingle forms from the injection site and grows throughout my body.

"You need to sleep and when you wake you can eat." His eyes flash to my stomach, even though it's covered under blankets. And he looks back at me. "I don't know what I'm going to do. Supreme Leader will order your execution as soon as he finds out about this and I wont be able to say no. An offspring..." He looks down at his hands. "Would be a weakness. I should of never allowed myself to get close to you." He closes his eyes tight. "It's the things we love the most that destroy us." My eyes slowly closing. I don't want to sleep. I go to raise my hand to touch his arm but I loose my fight to sleep. I fight against it but it doesn't work.

* * *

The next time I wake up the shades are still drawn. My body is so soar, I feel like I haven't moved in days. I noticed the set of new clothes next to the bed, and my cloak hangs off a hook near the bathroom door. I'm relieved, I want to shower so bad and then go find Kylo, I know he's downstairs. I shower longer than expected. Half the time my hand kept running over my stomach involuntarily and I would catch myself and pull away. The water was warm and heavenly. I couldn't imagine a more peaceful shower. I wish I could see the clouds though instead of the frosted glass.

After I shower, dry off, and get dressed I look into the mirror and my cheeks have a tint of pink to them. Whatever he gave me seemed to work, I feel like a could eat a buffet right now. My mouth waters for the first time in over a week. I run my fingers through my hair and fluff it out a little. I haven't felt this good is what feels like a lifetime. I peak out the bathroom door and slowly creep to the top of the stairs. I cant hear anything so I tip toe down the stops. The shades are still drawn. Half way down I spot Kylo and freeze, hes sitting in the grey chair watching the flames. He looks up at me and gets up to his feet and starts walking to the stairs. I continue walking down and we meet at the bottom. I stay on the very last step so I am almost eye height with him. His face is soft but his eyes are filled with worry.

"Will you eat now?" He asks and reaches out and grabs at my elbows, drawing circles with his thumbs on my triceps.

"What did you give me?" I ask. I regret not telling him I was sick earlier, this stuff works miracles.

"Nothing. Will you eat?" He is ignoring my question. I shrug out of his grip and brush past him. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. I chug it so fast it hurts, I quickly refill another glass and gulp it down. Its so refreshing. Kylo walks over to me and I refuse to make eye contact with him. He hands me a small roll. It looks delicious. I grab it from him and walk past him to the couch. I sit down and pick it apart, taking slow bites as not to jinx my settles stomach. The bread dissolves in my mouth and it tastes so good. I forgot how good it felt to eat. Kylo sits down next to me on the couch, he hooks his ankle over his knee and leans back in the corner of the couch. He spreads his arm along the back and hold his chin with his arm resting on the arm of the couch.

I take another bite and I slowly feel my stomach turning again. This baby is sucking the life out of me.

Baby.

My eyes start watering, I am so over emotional. I close them tight trying to hold them in. I fold my legs to sit Indian style. I just hold whats left of the roll in my lap. My chest starts to ache in that horrible pain again. I know Kylo can feel it because I feel his body tense next to me.

"Am I going to die?" I ask him. Not daring to look at him.

"If you don't eat, yeah." He says.

I snap my eyes open and look at him. "You know what? I love you even though your a murderer and a horrible person. You have ruined my life too! I didn't want to fall in love with you and I did. Having kids was not part of my life plan, specially not with you. Until now I still had hope to eventually escape from you." I look down at the roll in my hands and turn it around examining it. My anger taking over and I am not hungry anymore. "Are you going to kill me too? Because I am now your biggest weakness. Just like Snoke made you kill Luke and your own father?" I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself.

"No one made me do anything." He sits up and leans in closer to me. I am thankful for the cushion separating us. "I don't know what Snoke is going to have me do to you when he finds out."

"Didn't the Emperor order Darth Vader to kill his son and he couldn't. Didn't he redeem himself in the end and kill his master to save his child?" I say to him. I scoot farther away from him on the couch, afraid what my words are going to do. "Or was that a wise tale? Maybe there is still light in you Ben Solo, maybe you can be redeemed as well."

His eyes narrow. "Your lucky I am refraining from hurting you. Don't use that tone with me. I don't want to be redeemed. I like this life. I told you that."

"I didn't know." I said to him. I hope he knows i am referring to being pregnant.

"I know." He says and leans back into the corner, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I could tell you were just in as much shock as I was."

"And your eyes were yellow." I say to him and then look down to the roll still in my hand.

"Like I said. There are sides to me I don't want you to see. I apologize." He says calmly.

I wipe some tears from my eyes and pick another piece of bread off and force myself to eat it. His words making me sick. He unpinches his nose and I feel his eyes narrow at me. He takes his gloves off and sets them on the back of the couch. He gets up and sits down next right next to me. I flinch when he raises his hand and touches the back of my neck under my hair. His other hand rises to my cheek and he gently forces me to look at him. His skin is so warm against mine. I have missed his touch. I close my eyes and lean into it.

"I love you, okay?" I open my eyes and his thumb wipes a tear that released.

"Okay." I sniffle. I have nothing else to go on.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39: The Main Room

I fell asleep last with my head in Kylos lap last night watching the flame. He was running his fingers through my hair and down my neck. When I woke back up on the couch, my head was on a pillow and I have a super soft throw over me. I sit up and yawn. The fire dancing in my sleepy eyes. I look around the room and I see Kylo looking out a window with the shade up. I just want to go look at the clouds so I get to my feet and walk over to him.

"What are you looking at?" I ask him. He looks down at me and smiles. I'm glad to see his light mood despite the situation.

"Nothing, I just enjoy looking at the clouds here. And as you probably figured out, the sun here never sets." He looks around. "Hence the shades."

"But you always have them closed?" I look around confused.

"Its gets to bright." He laughs. He walks away but leaves the one shade open. I stand there and just watch the clouds. Just like I use to watch the stars on the Destroyer. He comes back and hands me an apple. "Eat." His eyes serious.

"Geesh okay." I take the apple and take a bite. He goes over to another part of the living room which I didn't really notice before. It's a desk in front of one of the windows. Black wood with silver hardware, in front of it is a sleek black chair. Kylo walks over to it and places a hologram down. A image of his ship appears and he studies it. "Are you looking to do some upgrades?" I walk over to him and study the ship.

"I haven't decided." He says not breaking eye contact with the hologram. He touches the image of the ship and it disassembled leaving only the cockpit.

"Better make room for a carseat." I say, letting out a small chuckle. Kylos eyes shoot to me and his eyebrows crease. I cover my mouth and stop laughing immediately. "I'm sorry, not funny." I say through my hand. I turn around and walk back to the open window. Still chuckling to myself. I can see another small dome in the distance. It has less windows. I squint my eyes knowing it's impossible to see into it. "How many buildings are here?" I ask and turn around waiting for an answer. He looks up at me

"12. Would you like to see one of them?" He asks. My heart stops.

"Really?! Yeah." I say, overexcited even though I have no idea what I'm about to see. I run up the stairs and grab my cloak as quick as possible. When k get back down the stairs Kylo already has is mask on and hood up. I swing into my cloak and pull my hood up. Smiling at him. I'm excited.

'Do I really have to tell you to mind your tongue. My Knights are going to be in the main room.'

I roll my eyes at him. Really?

When he opens the door the hallway is long and bright. I can see so much sky. I walk past Kylo. It's a bridge in the sky. I take a few steps into it and my mouth opens, it's like a dream. Down at the end of the never ending hallway bridge I see a door.

"That is a long walk..." I say and glare at him. He tilts his head. "But it's okay." I say quickly recanting my statement, I don't want him putting me back in the room. We walk for what seems like forever. I can't stop looking out at the clouds as we walk. Occasionally touching the window where a could is intersecting the bridge. It's almost better that the meadow.

"So there are no stars?" I ask and look up at him as we continue walking.

'No and I like it that way. Change of scenery.'

We finally reach the end of the hall and Kylo opens the door with a wave of his hand. I'm guessing the coded doors was to keep something in and not out. We emerge in a rounded hallway with scattered windows that must go around the whole dome. Kylo turns and we walk for a minute and suddenly a door comes into view leading to the center of the building.

The door slides open with motion detection and we emerge in a round room with the walls covered in monitors. In the center of the room is a very large round looking table, it's a hologram projector. The middle of the table is sunken down and lined with red grid. There are 3 other entrances into the room forming a cross. The only light comes from a skylight that is in front of each door. Everything black and silver. I walk slowly towards the table, glancing back to see if it's okay. Kylo nods and follows me. I run my fingers around the edges and circle it.

"What is this for?" I ask. He is just glaring at me.

"I'll show you. Name somewhere." He says, testing me. I can't think of anywhere in particular.

"Ach'To." I say, it's the first thing I can think of that sounds reasonable. All of a sudden a thousand planets flicker over the hologram projector. I stumble back and remove my hood. I'm amazed and I am reminded of the map that lead me here. Kylo presses a few codes into a sensor along the tables edge. The beautiful planet emerges. It's so blue, and exactly the way I remembered it when I first saw it. I clutch my chest at the memories swooping in surround the planet.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asks.

"There's more?" I say. Shocked, what more could he possible show me besides he probably holds a map to every planet in the galaxy right here, in the hands of the First Order. The planet gets larger and slowly focuses as more blue comes into the picture, then I make out water, then the mountain, and then... the fire pit with the log where me and Luke talked the day before he died. My staff still prompt up along a tree. My eyes swell with tears. I can see the spot Luke died and emotions overwhelm me. I cover my mouth in reaction to what i am seeing. But something moving on the ground near my staff causes me to lower my hand and lean in. A small scavenger animal is eating a nut by the tree. I glance over at Kylo and I hate not being able to see his expression.

"Here I can look at any location and see whats happening at this very moment. You just have to know what to look for. Its the only weapon of its kind." He walks over to me. I wipe some tears from my eyes. "When I felt you the first time, I came strait here. For a few days I watched you. I couldn't believe he wouldn't train you. Your powers are obviously great but need guidance." My body shivers and I look away from him in disgust.

"Why did you show me this?" I ask, still not looking at him. My nose running from crying. I see from the corner of my eye him run his fingers over a panel and the device shuts off.

"Because I need you to understand what power the First Order has and why Supreme Leader wont let anything get in his way" He says. His voice so mechanical. He takes another step forward and I step away from him.

"And I am in the way now?" I ask, already knowing the answer. I wipe my nose on the back of my hand and turn on my heals and walk away. He doesnt try to stop me. There is no where I can go except out in the hallway. Once in the bright hallway I walk over to one of the windows and lean my forehead against it. Closing my eyes and just taking a few deep breaths to stop myself from crying. I wipe my face with my hands and turn around to walk back inside and face him but I hear footsteps coming from around the bend. Cornelius come into view. I straiten up and look away from him.

"What are you doing out here?" He asks. Im taken back by his acknowledgement of me. From what I gathered before, he does not like me. I ball my fist up in preparation of an attack.

"Nothing." I say.

"Where is Ren?" He asks. I point to the door and Cornelius looks from me to the door and back. I wish i could see what his face looks like.

"Hmm." He humms and the door slides open and Kylo walks out and looks between the two of us and stomps over to me.

'What did I tell you about running off.' His voice demanding even through thoughts.

 _LEAVE ME ALONE! Your a monster, you just wanted to scare me even more. I hate you._

He grabs my arm and starts leading me to his living quarters. Hes stops next to Cornelius.

"Continue looking on Anaxes." He says and pulls me. Once we are inside the hallway and the doors shut he lets me go so abruptly I stumble against a window.

"You were actually watching me. This is beyond disturbing. I hate it here, I hate being near you, I HATE YOU!" I yell. I spread my fingers apart and when he turns and starts to walk in front of me I conger enough energy to throw him forward, hard. I shock myself. Usually I cant land attacks on him because he is so much stronger than me.

'Your getting stronger.' He says on his hands and knees in front of me. 'Don't do that again.' A stern warning.

Suddenly a sharp pain erupts from my pelvis. "Ahh," I cry out. I fall to my knees and grab my stomach. It shoots through me again. "Ah." I hurl over. The pain making me queezy. Its worse than the last time. Kylo gets up, unhisses his helmet and drops it to the ground and runs next to me.

"Dont touch me!" I yell at him and put my hand up to push him away but he grabs my wrist and pins it to my side. Another sudden pain emerges down there. "Ehhhhhh." Im seeing spots and I am so dizzy.

"Your exerting yourself. I shouldn't have taken you out of the room. The doctor will be here soon." He says to me.

"Oh cause my health is such a concern to you now that im a liability.." I snap back. Im looking down at the ground just trying not to pass out.

"Enough. Its not just you anymore." He says. Its the first time he has really acknowledged the baby. I pull my arm tighter around me and try to stand and take a few steps but the initial pain is still there. I stumble and brace myself against a window and close my eyes.

"Cant you just leave me alone." I say under my breath. I feel Kylo's hand travel down my back shoulder blade.

"No." He swoops his arm under my leg causing me to fall into his arms. I actually embrace his warmth. He bends down and picks up his helmet and holds it in his hand by my knee. I lean into his chest and just close my eyes.

 ****Thank you for continuing this journey with me :) ****


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Pain and Pleasure

Once inside the room Kylo sets me down on the couch. I sit up and grab the blanket from earlier and pull it over me and lay my head down on my arm to watch the flames. The pain in my pelvis is gone but I still don't feel right. I hear Kylo fumble in his desk and come back with another syringe full of red liquid.

"Stop. I don't know what that is and I don't want to sleep." I say. I sit up and scoot my but back away from him. His eyes narrow.

"It will help, I promise." He says. I scoot back till I'm in the corner.

"Not until you talk to me." I say. He stops and tilts his head. He sits down on the couch near my feet. He removes the blanket from my feet and starts taking my boots off. I go to pull my foot back but his hand grasps my ankle and he gives me a, don't you dare, look. I relax my leg. "What are we going to do? We need to figure out a plan. Are you just going to keep me in here for 8 or so more months and then take the baby away and give it to Snoke?" Even saying it sends chills down my spine. I look away from him and dig my chin into my shoulder. He removes my boot and then moves to my other foot, repeating his actions.

"The thought crossed my mind." He says quietly. He removes my other boot tossing it to the floor. He lightly rubs my foot. I have made love to this man but this feels more intimate than that. "But then I thought about you and your Light. I don't know why when the star died that the white light waited 10 years for you to be conceived before choosing you. I don't know why the universe would want us to come together and become each other's greatest enemy and yet lovers." He stops rubbing my foot and scoots closer to me, my knees in his lap. Covering himself with the blanket, his warmth filling up the space between us.

I raise my head to meet his gaze. Iv been having this one thought, "Maybe this baby is what the legend meant by becoming one. What if this baby is the one to bring balance to both the Light and Dark?" I say to him, his eyes open wide. He looks at the fire, his face tenses and his finger around my calf tighten. He closes his eyes and shakes his head. He opens his eyes again and looks back at me to meet my gaze. I lower my eyes, embarrassed by the thought. I'm just trying to think of ways to make it so I'm not a burden but valuable to him. I don't want him to keep thinking I'm going to be the one to destroy him.

"You need to eat." He slides out from underneath me and goes to the kitchen and grabs something out of the fridge. He comes back with some grapes and an apple. He sets them down on the couch and moves the blanket to sit back under my legs. Why won't he answer me. He hands me a handful of grapes and stares at me till I pop them in my mouth. "I promise you, I won't let anything happen to you. But you need to understand that The Supreme Leader will make killing you the ultimate proof of my devotion the the First Order..."

My eyes water. "So what are you going to do?" I ask as he hands me a few more grapes. It feels good to eat. Kylos right, if I over do it my body rejects it and punishes me. I need to just relax.

"For now?" He looks into the fire and his face softens. "Stay here and lay low. We have a little bit of time before I'm required back at the Destroyer. If I keep ahead of The Supreme Leader he will have no reason to come here. But I can't have you accusing me of being a horrendous murderer when I am protecting you from certain death. I need you on my side." He puts his arm over the back of the couch next to me, looks at me, and leans in. "You need to promise me."

His face is soft. I look at his full lips and realize how much I miss them. I start biting my lip thinking about how long it's been since he's touched me, really touched me. "I promise." I whisper. I love this man, he is now the father of my unborn child. His other hand comes up and grabs the back of my head bringing me in to kiss him. It ignites electricity before us and the flames bend in the surrounding force. It's like causing lightening to strike. I reach my hand up and touch his face and deepen the kiss. Parting my lips to allow him his tongue to meet mine. He lets out a small moan in his throat. I pull away, "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything." He say looking at me through his eyelashes and his eyes back to my lips. He licks his lips and bites his bottom lip softly. His breathing getting heavy.

"You won't take this baby away from me. Regardless of who you are, I am still it's mother." I let a tear fall. I need to protect this innocent child. A helpless infant delivered into a world where they will always be looking over their shoulder. With powers unknown. I have never seen its face but I know it's loved by me.

"I..." He hesitates and looks at me through his eyelashes and he looks back down at my lips. Licking his and biting his bottom lip. His hand moves to the side of my head, his thumb tracing my bottom lip. "I promise." And he kisses me desperately. Sliding his hand down to my hip and squeezing. He shifts under me till he is almost laying next to me. Never breaking kiss. I hear the apple thud to the floor, now he's laying on top of me. He pulls away and whispers against my lips, "This is torturous." He slides his hand under my shirt and his finger skims my ribs. He kisses me and my hands hold onto his shoulder blades. He moves back and groans and his eyes are on fire. He stands up, the blanket pools to the floor. He bends down and throws me over his shoulder. I kick like a child.

"Ahhhh." I say while my feet kick. He walks over to the stairs and starts walking up them. I know where this is going and I want it to. I crave it, his skin on my skin. We get to the top of the stairs and he sets me down next to the bed. He removes my cloak and it falls to the floor around my feet. He undoes my belt and pulls my tunic loose from my pants. He stops and removes his belt and throws it on the floor, along with his tunic and cloak. He reaches down and removes each of his shoes my body shaking in anxiety. He can feel my excitement. His eyes close and he inhales. He reaches up and starts undoing my arm wraps till both my arms are completely exposed. Revealing some faint bruising on both my triceps, he closes his eyes and when he opens his eyes again they are fire desire again. He grabs both sides of my face and kisses me hard. Pressing his body into mine. He pushes me down onto the bed but stands back up to remove my pants. I'm just in my undies. He removes his shirt and undoes his armwrap a. I sit up and slowly drag my shirt over my head, I don't want him to see my bare stomach and the mood be ruined, but I want this just as bad so I push the thought aside. Now only in my bra and panties, feeling vulnerable. His eyes shoot to my stomach. His eyebrows crease then he looks back up at me. He bends down and kisses me, laying me flat on the bed. His one hand under my back, balancing on one elbow. Laying on top of me but putting most his body weight on his one arm, his muscles bulging.

He pulls away and looks down on me. "I love you, regardless of this situation, it doesnt change how I feel about you. I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to protect you but you need to trust me." He says, so utterly sincere. "I still have to do my work. I am who I am and nothing will change that." His eyes narrow at me.

His words ache my heart, every word sinking in like a hammered nail. "I love you too." Is all I can say back. He kisses me again, moving his hand from my back to my stomach, stopping for a brief second over my pelvis. His kiss hardens. He grazes the band of my panties and slowly moves his hand in. My back arches at his touch. His fingers graze my clit and my senses tingle. He start rubbing in slow circles gently. I feel the dampness start. He removes his hand and hooks his finger into the side of my underwear and removes them. He slips away and trails kisses down my ribs. I dig my fingers into the blanket next to me. He crawls up a little and kisses my neck and then kisses me. His kisses are needy. I'm the only real physical contact Kylo has had in most of his lifetime.

He slips off his pants and briefs and crawls up to balance on his elbows and he's hovering over my entrance with his tip. He touches my face super soft, looking over my features. He plants a soft kiss on my jawbone. "You are much to fragile looking, promise me you will eat more." He says quietly.

"Mmhmm," I mumble. Getting impatient of his teasing. He lifts off to balance on one elbow and he reaches down to guide himself in. I close my eyes and my finger squeeze into his back. He lets out a loud moan. His heartbeat quickens. Instead of bringing his hand up to prop back on his elbow, he grabs my hip and squeezes almost painfully and glides his hand over my butt and pulls me in so he can sink deeper into me.

"Uhhfff" I involuntarily let slip. It feels amazing. My body warms on contact, goosebumps form. His other hand on the back of my head still leaning on his elbow. I'm thankful for his strong muscles. He pulls out alittle and slowly goes back in. My stomach tightens, my legs tingle, and my head gets light. I sink my fingers deeper into his back and he moans into my ear. He stays in a slow rhythm, slowly massaging my vagina walls. It feels like we haven't connected like this in what seems like a lifetime though it's only been a little over a week.

His fingers dig into my thin flesh of my butt and he quickens his rhythm. I can feel the slow rising of my climax and I know he has to be close. I dig my nails into him and roll my head to the side, exposing my neck. He moves his hand from the back of my head to my neck. His thumb grazing behind my ear and down my neck sending chills through my hot body. My body craves his skin on mine. He slides his hand down and pulls my bra strap slowly over my shoulder, my left breast exposed. His thumb skims my already hard nipple and I expload from the inside, my whole body feels like it has butterflies, he thrusts a few more times and stops, his hot breath in my hair. He pulls back to look at me.

"That was... That felt..." He sounds almost embarrassed to say it. He pulls out and rolls on his back next to me. Cool air from around the room hits my burning skin, it's refreshing.

"I agree," I say looking over to him and smiling. You would think he has had practice before. He rolls onto his side and props up on his elbow to look down on me, I'm still waiting for my breath to calm down and I'm still basically naked on top of all the blankets. His eyes follow down my neck, chest, breasts, and then stops on my stomach. I go to cover myself.

"Stop." He says. He brings his hand up and spreads his fingers across my stomach and for a few minutes I let him just think. The fact he is acknowledging that there is a baby in there. Suddenly I get really dizzy and sit up, I feel the vomit evading my esophagus, I cover my mouth afraid to throw up. But I slowly breath in and out through my nose and the feeling goes away, Kylo sits up and starts rubbing my back, gently enough that he almost isn't touching me. I feel a sudden wash of guilt come from him, it pains him to see me like this. "The doctor will be here soon. He's going to run some tests." He says. He gets off the bed and goes into the bathroom.

I use the time alone and pull my panties on and my shirt and crawl under the covers, I'm not really tired and my head is still spinning. When Kylo comes out of the bathroom he is wearing his black sweatpants that I love on him, it's when he looks the most relaxed. He bends down and fishes out the medicine from his cloak on the floor. I turn my head the other way so he can't see my face. I don't know what's even in that thing.

"I don't want to take that." I mumble into my pillow, I don't know if he even heard me. He crawls onto the bed and lays behind me but he's still on top of the covers.

"Its not up for debate." He says. I close my eyes and he slides the blanket down my arm. His thumb draws a small circles and then a small pinch from the needle. Instantly the warm sensation slowly travels through my body from the entry point. I open my eyes and roll over to face him. "I'm sorry." He says while looking into my eyes, my eyelids getting heavy. He runs his fingers down my cheek and just looks at me. "Your the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on." He whispers while my eyes shut.

"Stay..." Is all I say before sleep overtakes me.

 ****Sorry it took me forever to upload this. I have been enjoying my mothers day weekend with the family :)****


	41. Chapter 41

**** I am sorry I missed updating yesterday, I was enjoying my mother's day with my two young boys and husband. I hope everyone had an awesome day! ****

Chapter 41: Terms

I wake up and hear faint mumbling coming from downstairs. I scramble out of bed and put my pants on and walk to the top of the stairs.

"It's for the best." I hear a foreign voice say.

"I do not agree." I hear Kylo mutter.

"What do you want to do?" The voice says again.

"Honestly, destroying it would possibly destroy her as a person. Then what hope do I have. She would turn against me and I would be forced to kill her. I don't want that." Kylo says. "She has been really sick lately, I gave her some some of my personal supply."

"Sir, that was made specifically from your DNA. I don't suggest continuing this..." The voice trails off

"Shush.."'

And then I know he knows I'm up here. I start walking down the stairs and see Kylo and a green skinned man, his head long and eyes black. He was skinny and wearing an all white attire. Very sophisticated and clean. He is carrying a large white bag. His double eyelids narrow. Kylos face serious.

 _Are you made I'm here_

'No, we all need to talk'

"Rey, this is Dr. Greken. He is going to take a sample of your blood and do a scan to see how far along you are." I feel like I'm being violated by this strange man for even letting him take my blood. I'm scared what Kylo is going to do once we know more facts.

"Please, sit down." Dr. Greken directs at me. I turn around and walk over to the couch. I am not going to act happy about this. The doctor sits next to me and sets his bag on the floor to fish out a device similar to what Kylo use when we got here. I look over to Kylo who is standing at the end of the couch, he must feel comfortable around this man, he isn't wearing his mask or usual attire. Instead he's in his relaxed clothes.

Dr. Greken holds out his long hand waiting for me to rest my arm in it. Kylo nods his head at me and I comply. The aliens long 3 fingers wrap around my forearm and his thumb searching for a vein in the crease of my arm. He finds one and uses his other arm to activate the device. A long needle comes out the bottom and I pull back.

'Stop' his stern voice demands, I look up and his eyebrows are creased. So I look at the flame till I feel the pinch off the needle enter, it remains in for a minute or two, my eyes just counting the coals under the fire. Once I make eye contact with Kylo. When the doctor removes the device he lets go and backs up. In front of him are 3 viles of my blood. The machine projects the same DNA strand I saw Kylo looking at. The doctor looks over it and "hmm"s and "emm"s a few times.

"From her levels I say she is just shy of 4 weeks. It's still so very early but obviously her body is reacting faster than normal. The child is from both sensitive parents." He says and stands up from the couch and walks over to Kylo. I hold my thumb over the small hole left from the needle, a small trace of blood dripped out. "It's to early to do a scan, I will have to come back in a months time, if you wish to continue." He hesitates. Kylo pinches the bridge of his nose and walks towards the desk and the Doctor follows. Kylo hold his temper very well around this man, he is able to control himself. He must find him of high importance. They start whispering and Kylos eyes dart to me. He nods his head and the Doctor walks over to the platform doors. "I will be awaiting a call from you." He says. He looks at me and turns on his heal out the door. I get a small glimpse of the clouds and blue sky. It's lovely.

When the doors are closed Kylo walks over to me and sits next to me. He removes my thumb from my arm and runs his finger over the smudged blood. The tiny hole disappears and all that's left is the smeared blood. That will never get old. "Do you want to continue this pregnancy? Even under the circumstances we are under? I guarantee that Supreme Leader will find out about this." He says. His tone calm. "If you don't, now is the time to tell me."

"What do you want me to do?" I ask him, even though I already know my answer. He is being so open to talk about this.

"I don't want to loose you. I love you to much. But I don't like the idea of you being in harms way and bringing a child into this with uncertainty of what their future will bring. If we end this now, we can go strait back to the way things were. I promise."

"So I can go back to Jakku?" I ask, that's what I would ultimately want.

"Hah, no. No. You are my apprentice, remember." He says and smile. My stomach twists.

"So still be your prisoner?" I ask confused.

"You are not my prisoner." His eyes narrow angrily I keep referring to this as that.

"I can't leave." I say. "I think that's called imprisonment and it sickens me that you would want to end this life we created together."

"Your not only putting your life in danger from The Supreme Leader, your physically deteriorating in front of me." He looks leans back in the corner of the couch like he has before, putting his hand over his chin, he looks into the flame and concentrates for awhile. I can't understand why he would want to kill this innocent child, but part of does though. He takes a deep breath. "Iv been giving you a mixture of my blood and a drug called Sydith. It's a high concentrate formula that sets your body into hyperdrive mode to reboot itself. I knew it wouldn't hurt the baby if you decided that you were going to keep it since it does have half my DNA. And it won't harm you since your force sensitive but it's to strong for your small body, that's why you fall asleep so fast. I can't make you to do anything when it come to the baby, but Rey." He leans forward and gets close to me. "You don't understand what will happen to you if you continue..."

"Why do you keep saying that!" I yell. I stand up and stomp over to the kitchen counter. Placing my hands on the edge of the countertop and squeezing my eyes shut hard, trying to contain the energy around me. I don't want to do something stupid like blow out a window. "Why do you keep making this out to be something that I have to decide on my own!" I feel Kylo next to me. I know he's about to touch me back so I move away from him, walking around the island to the other side. "What do you want me to do? I am so confused. I didn't want this but I feel the need to protect this baby. You made this with me, and I thought it was out of love. Don't you love me? Is it so bad to have a family who loves you instead of killing them all!"

I start to pull into his mind. I haven't pried in awhile, meeting my efforts in the middle like an imaginary wall. His eyes narrow. I push harder but he pushes into mine harder. I grab the counter to brace myself. I close my eyes all the way and focus on just digging deep into his mind.

A sudden image appears behind my closed eyes. A sweet womans face flashes infront of my eyes, she is reaching down to pick up outreaching small hands infront of me. A small voice saying mommy.

I feel a sudden warmness on my lip and the distraction caught me off guard but Kylo lowers his just a fraction of a second after mine, as to insure he wouldn't hurt me. I touch under my nose and pull my hand back and there is a large amount of blood dripping from my nose, it drips onto the counter.

"Was that you?" I ask, breathing heavy. Young Kylo and the General. My heart swells.

"I don't know what's going to kill you first. Supreme Leader or Yourself?" He says. He pulls my chin up to look at me. His eyes meet mine, I must look like a mess with blood all under my nose. His eyes soften a little. He runs his finger along the bridge of my nose, tingling it. He walks around to grab a towel from a drawer, and wets it. He walks back over and grabs my chin lightly again, he starts wiping my face with the warm water. I close my eyes, embarrassed.

"I just can't stand the thought of loosing you." His voice sad. "Okay, well since I know where this is heading. Things from here on out are going to change. Your health becomes my number one priority. It's not just you, that's also my baby in there. You must eat, I'll have a droid start bringing you meals often. Also, I will be very busy working. You are not to leave this house at all, by no means. No one can see you." He moves the cloth away from my skin and I open my eyes. "No more force using until your stronger."

"That's..." I start.

"That's an order!" He yells and he lets go and walks over to his des on the other side of the round room. I slowly walk over to him.

"What about after the baby comes? What will you do with us?" I ask softly.

"When the time comes we will figure it out. I have a few ideas." He says. Not looking at me.

"Would you like me to leave you alone?" I ask, before he can answer I turn and walk towards the stairs. He catches up and steps in front of me but I don't look up to meet his gaze.

"I don't ever want to be apart from you. I just am frustrated and I refuse to take my anger out on you." He puts his thumb under my chin and his fingers around the back of my neck. He makes me look up and look at him. "I love you. But I swear, you need to stop defying me!"

"Okay." I say and a tear falls. I wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his shoulder. He wraps his arms back around me and squeezes tight. "I love you." I sniffle.

"I love you also." He says back. Just then a loud buzz from the bridge door erupts. Kylo pulls away and walks over to the control panel. He isn't in his usual clothes so I doubt he will open it. After he presses a few button an image appears on the screen and its Arsland.

"Sir, we have located a something on Anaxes. We advise you come take a look." Arsland states. Kylo turned and looked at me. Rolling his eyes, its obviously only a one way screen, he wont let anyone see him without his mask.

"Okay, Ill be right there." Kylo says and the monitor shuts off. He walks over to the counter and grabs a roll from a basket and walks back over to me. "Eat this." I pout up at him and take it. He turns and walks up the stairs. I walk over to the couch, grab the blanket, and wait for him to come back. In a few minutes he is back downstairs, holding his helmet in between his arm and side, and in his usually Dark clothes. I look away from him and down at the bread. He kneels in front of me, in his hand a syringe of the red liquid.

"No, im not taking that." I try and stand up but Kylo places his hand on my leg, holding me still. He puts his helmet on the floor and uses his hand to grab my arm. "I dont want it."

"Its not up to you. I told you, stop defying me. Until I see you gain some weight and color in your skin, you must take this. You are actually very lucky, you have seen more than anyone I have ever let live long enough to talk about it." He says, his eyes narrow. Hes offended. I lower my head and close me eyes. Within seconds the red liquid takes effect and my head feels heavy. I feel his leather gloves touch my face and he slowly lowers me onto the couch, my body drifts.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: 16weeks Along

"Mmm", I open my eyes and groan. These past few months I have spent so much time alone but I feel more lonely than on Jakku. I convinced Kylo to stop giving me the Sydith stuff. I hate it, and to think it's mixed with his blood makes me queazy. I stretch out my legs and arms and roll over and sit in the edge of the bed. My stomach has pushed out like I ate way to much. I run my hand over the tiny bump and think back to when my stomach was completely flat till about a month ago. I roll my head to stretch out my neck muscles. My body has been more soar and tired but I feel better.

I take a quick shower and throw on some new clothes and grab my cloak from the door because I'm slightly chilly today. I creep down the stairs and am startled to see Kylo sitting at his desk and all the shades open, I must of forgot to close them before I went to bed yesterday. The clouds are beautiful, all other buildings hidden from sight.

He been so busy with the Knights that we hardly see each other as it is. This is a welcome surprise. He looks up and gets up from his chair immediately to meet me at the bottom step. Before he even says anything he wraps his arms around me and tucks his head into my shoulder and just holds me tight. I wrap my arms around his neck and just hug him back. Like most beings he craves physical contact but I am the only person in the galaxy who can show him that and I never really see him. He's always gone. He pulls away and just looks at me. "The Doctor is coming to do a scan." He says and tucks a stray hair behind my ear.

"Really? So you finally caved?" I ask. He hasn't called the doctor back to do a scan since he confirmed I was pregnant. Kylo said he wanted to wait till I got better but I think there are other reasons. Maybe once we see the baby it will be more of a reality to him and that scared him.

"Yeah, I hardly see you so I thought we should do it while I am here for a few hours. He will be here in 15 minutes. Go eat." He says. I pout but do as I'm told. I eat whatever the droids bring. Poor things cross the bridge so many times their parts might wear. Today is eggs and bacon. I eat quick and run back over to Kylo at his desk. Suddenly the port doors open and the immaculate clean Doctor emerges. The door slams behind him. I get an eerie feeling he does not approve of this.

"Mr. Ren, I was hoping for a phone call earlier." He says then shoots a look at me and points to the couch.

"What do I do?" I ask.

"Just lay down on your back and lift up your shirt, please." He says coldly. Even his manners sound fake. I walk slowly over to the couch. Kylo follows behind me and stands behind the couch, I lay down across it. Slowly lifting my shirt. From this angle my stomach almost looks flat again. I cover my eyes with my arm and wait for the doctor to finish fishing out of his crisp white bag. I feel Kylo bend over the back of the couch and grab my arm from my face.

'Don't you want to see?' His eyes soft. I just smile back up at him. I do but I'm just nervous. This will make it so much more real. I take a deep breath when the cold object grazes my stomach, I look down and see the doctor holding onto a flashlight looking object with a glowing ball on my skin. For a few minutes he moves it around and observes the small flat screen that sits in his lap. Dr. Greken stops the motion on my stomach and puts the scanning device away.

He hands the screen to Kylo and his eyes widen. I feel his heart quicken, he turns and walks away still holding the screen.

 _What is it?_

He doesn't answer, he walks over to his desk and places the device down and his hands on both sides of the screen. I can feel sadness and worry. I pull my shirt down and walk over to him. He puts his hand up and freezes me before I get to close to see the screen, but he doesn't turn around.

 _Why won't you let me see? It's my baby too._

He looks over to me but I still can't move. Kylo then walks past me over to the doctor, thanking him and escorting him out. When the door shuts he unfreezes me.

'Don't move' As much as I want to, I don't. He starts circling me.

"Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" He asks. He stops in front of means looks down at me and half smiles.

"You can tell?" I ask surprised. I try to push past him but he puts his arms on my shoulders and stops me. He's laughing now. "What?" I ask, smiling. I step back to see his face better. Taking a deep breath, soaking in all his features. I wonder what ones our baby will inherit.

"Girl." My heart stops at his words.

"Can I see her?" I ask, my hands cover my mouth to contain my excitement. He walks over to the desk and grabs the screen, handing it to me and my eyes fall over every inch of the small looping video on the screen. The 4d image of the tiny pink baby has me speechless. She's just wiggling around in there and trying to suck on her hand. I have not really felt her move yet, just fluttering. I know I will never let anything hurt her. I run my fingers over the image and a tear falls onto the screen.

Kylo takes it from me and goes and sets it on the desk and comes back to embrace me. Comforting me. I just cry for a minute into his shoulder. My body suddenly tired from the excitement, I slouch a little and Kylo catches on. My body has a hard time keeping up with me, I always feel so drained. He squeezes me tighter.

"How would you like to get away for a few days?" Kylo asks, I perk right up.

"Where to?" I pull away from him, his hands grab my elbows.

"Courscant. I have to go check out a few things there." He says. I frown at the memories of General Hux and the King. I lower my head and shiver. That was the first time I felt Kylo cared about what happened to me. "Hey, hey," he grabs my chin and makes me look at him, "This is different. I wouldn't bring you if I didn't feel you were safe and out of eye view." He puts his hand over my stomach and gently caresses my tiny bump with his thumb. "I can't believe our daughter is in there." He says, his words take my breath away, Our Daughter...

"Did you want a son?" I ask, wondering why I felt sadness from him earlier.

"Hah, no. Actually I'm thrilled." He stops touching my stomach and backs away. "We can leave right now if you want."

"What do you have to do there?" I ask, even though I really don't want to know the answer.

"Eliminating an issue. I'll only be gone for a few hours once there. You will be perfectly safe in my apartment. As safe as you are here."

"Do you have places everywhere?" I ask surprised. I walk around him and to the port door. "Ready." I say, smiling at him. I'd like a change of scenery, plus I get to spend some time with him. He walks over to the counter and grabs his helmet and hold it to his side. He turns and walks over to me, touching my face slightly with his leather fingers. I close my eyes and lean into his touch. Suddenly his lips are on mine. I was not expecting him to do this, I feel very distant from him lately. This is all a nice surprise. I kiss him back but within seconds he pulls away. I open my eyes and he is smiling at me.

"I love you, remember that. Okay? And remember to pull your cloak tight around you, there will be some stormtroopers there and I don't need word of this getting out." He says.

"Then why are you bringing me?" I ask, now I feel turned off by the idea of going and jeopardizing everything.

"If I leave you here, it may look suspicious. Plus I want you to come." He says. He smiles and opens the port door with the wave of his hand. Once outside I soak in the sun on my skin. I feel Kylo grab my wrist and snap me out of it. He pulls me on board his ship and within a few minutes was are in dead space. I stare out the window and just stare at the stars. I almost forgot what they looked like. "See why I like that change of view?"

I smile at him, "They are beautiful." I yawn and tilt my head to the side to rest against the side of the chair. I run my fingers over my small bump. The ship jumps into hyper speed and Kylo gets up from his chair and kneels in front of me. I move my head slowly to look at him. "I hate being so tired all the time."

He frowns at me. "I know. But," he removes his glove off his right hand and wraps his fingers around the back of my neck and stroking my jaw with his thumb, "lets enjoy this time we have while she is still in there." He brings his other still gloved hand over my stomach and gently rubs it. I love that he acknowledges her now. "Sleep, we will be there soon." He goes back over his chair and soon I give in to my exhausted body.

I wake to Kylo nudging me away because we landed on Courscant. Stretching my legs I get up and walk around for a few second to bring blood flow back to my body. My stomach growls so loud Kylo looks at me and his eyes narrow.

"Sorry," I mutter and grab at my stomach. He finished shutting every thing down and hisses his helmet shut. Outside the front widow I see the smog coming off the tops of the buildings. They buildings are window to window and we are on the very top of one. Everything so cramped together here. I try my hardest to push the memory of Hux back by closing my eyes and digging it deeper and deeper into my mind. I open my eyes and Kylo is standing right in front of me. He grabs both sides of my cloak and pulls it right around me. I pull the hood up and hold my cloak shut.

The ramp opens and I see the familiar masks of stormtroopers who straiten when the ramp hits the ground, Kylo stomps out and I follow but stop when we come face to face with General Green.

"Ahh, Master Ren and Rey. Nice of you to join me here.

 _You didn't tell me he was going to be here_

'I didn't know'


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Skyline

"I was not expecting you General. Did Supreme Leader send you?" Kylo asks. His posture strait, hands behind his back. The wind up here howls and makes me shiver. Kylo looks over to me and back at the General. "Lets continue this inside."

"Yes, I agree." The General turns on his heal into the door to the elevator. Kylo turns back to me.

 _Why is he here? What are you really doing here? I should of never came. I can turn back now._

I point to his ship with my thumb and give him the "please dont make me do this" look.

'To late now. I suggest you sit down and remain seated.'

He turns and motions for me to get into the elevator. I sqeaze into a corner and bow my head. Not wanting to look up and meet the gaze of the General by chance. The door opens to a very large living room, with a wall of windows directly ahead that had glass door leading out to the balcony.

There are 4 stormtroopers accompanying General Green, each one stands attentive and follows him as he leaves the elevator and stands next to a long steel table. I follow Kylo out and look more around the room, on each wall is 2 large slider doors. The living room has 2 crescent shape couches facing each other on a floor thats 2 steps down. The long table surrounded by eight tall chairs next to General Green. Everything is grey and red, hints of silver everywhere. Kylo always has such nice places.

"Lets get started." The General says as he points to the table. I go to sit in one of the dining room chairs but suddenly Kylos hand is on my back, startling me. He pushes me to sit in the chair next to his at the head of the table. His touch always sends electricity through my spine. I sit down and pull my cloak tight around me, making sure not even my chubby stomach shows. My heart speeds up alittle. Kylo looks towards me and can feel my anxiety increasing. I look up at his mask, he is slightly turned to me.

"Cant this wait till later General?" Kylo turns his attention to the other end of the table.

"No, it certainly can not." The General blurts out. "To continue Master Ren, I would like to start by congratulating you on overthrowing the base on Anaxes. Well done. Im sure you will be just as successful with your task here." The General states. His words make my skin crawl. I dont ask Kylo what he is doing with the Knights. "The Clone army is finished. I made my way here to show you first hand their potential."

"I know their potential General. I am the one who pushed for the matter." Kylo says. He leans over the table on his elbows. "You did not come all this way to talk about my advances against the Resistance. What do you want General Green?" His voice dark.

"Supreme Leader has ordered me to take your apprentice back to the Destroyer." The General States.

I look up to Kylo and he is standing now,"General. I have no intention of handing my apprentice over to you. You understand?" Kylos voice venomous. The General nods his head.

"I thought you might say that. But you must understand my position in the First Order and I, unlike you, follow Supreme Leaders requests. Here, see for yourself." The General reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small holodisc. He sets it on the table and Kylos hand opens as the disc flies into it. He clicks it on and its a small hologram of a black figure sitting on a throne, I instantly recognize it as Snoke, no wonder I had an eerie feeling when I saw the General.

"General Green, I am assigning you to go retrieve Kylo Rens apprentice from Courscant when he arrives in 3 days to secure the threat. I wish to speak to Rey alone. Make sure Master Ren knows his place and completes his task at hand first before returning to the Destroyer." The holodisc shuts off. Kylo crumples it in his hand and looks down at me.

 _I have to go. You cant stop him without putting yourself at risk. Us at risk._

I stand up from the table and my hood falls down over my shoulders as I look to Kylo. He grabs my wrist lightly just before im about to walk over to the General.

"No." His mechanical voice says to me.

Kylo looks back to the General. "I will not allow such a thing. Tell the Supreme Leader I will bring her myself after I am done here."

"I dont think you understand Master Ren. You dont have an option." The generals eyes narrow at Kylo and then he looks over to me. His eyes fall apon Kylos hand around my small wrist, he archs his eyebrow at me.

"She isnt going anywhere." Kylo says, I can tell his mouth is clenched tight. From inside I feel a little kick, just tapping my uterus with her tiny feet. I let out a small involuntary giggle. Everyone in the room looks at me.

"Sorry." I say and put my head down, embarrassed. Looks like she wants to join the conversation. She kicks me again lightly. This is the most I have felt her thus far and I wish I wasnt in this situation so I could touch my stomach, I place my hand on the table to brace myself. The little sensation sends tingles through my body. Kylo lets go of my other wrist and I sit back down in the chair. I dont know how to get out of this situation without using the force, and I havent used it since Kylo told me to stop and I still dont have my saber.

"General, you will rethink your actions before what your about to do. It would be up to your best interest to allow me to take her back. We will leave now." Kylo says.

"That is not how this is going to work Ren. Supreme Leader requests you stay here. So do I. ." The General hisses.

I go to look at Kylo but suddenly I cant see. Waves of white wash over my eyes and then a blinding light. I shut my eyes tight as a warm feeling washes over me. I open my eyes to see the meadow, in the distance Kylo is playing with a small child. Her hair as black as night and waves down her back. She turns to me and puts her arms out. Her face is a small mirror of my own, and ears like her father. She is giggling and laughing. Maybe two or three years old. And the vision stops and my eyes shoot open to back in the apartment on Courscant.

 _Whoa. What was that?_

'What was what?' Kylo looks down at me, totally oblivious that I had a vision of him and our daughter playing in the meadow. She kicks me again. Did she do that?

 _Nothing._ Without warning Kylo pulls it from my mind while the General rants about something. Kylo sits down and pushes his chair out to put his foot over his knee and look at me. I wish I could see his face. This is something that is suppose to bring joy. I want to experience with him and I cant. I stand up and look at the General.

"I will go with you willingly, under one condition." The General straitens up at my words. He is obviously confused about whats going on here. "We leave in 1 hour."

The Generals face contorts, he doesnt know how to react to my demand. "Very well." He nods at one trooper in the corner and they all start to the elevator, followed by the General. He turns before getting in.

"Dont try anything funny. I have the whole building surrounded." He says, his eyes burn into mine. His face as cold as stone. Kylo gets up from his chair and walks in front of me and when the elevator doors shut he punches the door. Startling me, I jump.

"Im suppose to just let you leave with him in an hour?!" Kylo yells at me.

"Dont you understand what I saw? Our daughter telling me everything is going to be okay! Just do what you have to do and before you know it we will be together again." I say as calmly as I can, afraid what using the force might do it a situation like this. He steps forwards and closes the cap between us easily and grabs my elbow with his one hand and puts his other inside my cloak. His fingers wrap around my side but his thumb skims my slightly rounded stomach.

"A few months ago, I wouldnt of cared what Supreme Leader made me do. He is going to take one look at you and know. One touch and he will know. Without me there, I cant stop what he might do and that..." He releases my elbow and caresses my cheek and I close my eyes leaning into his touch. "That terrifies me." I open my eyes to look at his sad face. "Wait here." He says.

"Oh cause I have somewhere to go." I roll my eyes as he walks away. He goes into the elevator and he is back in less than 5 mins. My lightsaber in his hand.

"Take this, use it if you need to. On anyone. Refrain from using the force though. We still dont know what it will do to you if you do. And please stay covered up."

"Thats not a problem, its freezing up there." I smile at him and take my saber, clipping it to my side. Trying to make light of the situation.

She kicks again.

"Omg, I felt her again." This time I grab my lil bump and smile up at him. "She kicked me."

"You cant leave. I cant protect you when your not with me." His words strike a raw nerve in me.

"Where have you been the past three months! I have been pretty much alone except for briefly seeing you every few days. I can handle myself, okay? Geesh. Nothing will happen. I feel it. Okay? I just feel it."

"You want me to go off your "feelings" Rey?" He rolls his eyes and stomps away to stand in front of the window overlooking the skyline. I walk over to him, touching his back lightly and he turns his head to look down to me. "You were perfectly safe on Bespin. Its not just you I worry about anymore. As much as you think I am still a monster, I am, but I love you and nothing will ever change that. I love her too. Her vision made that even more clear. You two are the only thing I have that are mine to love. How do you expect me to put that aside and let you put yourself in harms way. Everyother time I was there. You dont know what hes capable of. You think im powerful." He huffs. "He can put me to shame." He looks back over out the window. Tears fall from my eyes and I grab his arm, wrapping my arms around it and hugging it tight. I feel his nose in my hair and his other hand comes around to my back.

"Im fine, and Ill have you there with me to talk me through it. Just hurry up here. Doing whatever that is."

"Im here because we have located Poe Dameron. The resistance pilot. We believe he knows the whereabouts of General Finn and General Organa. The are holding a secret meeting here. But I have my sources." His words chill me. I step away from him.

"Are you going to kill him?" I ask. horrified.

"I am bringing him to the Supreme Leader." He says. "I should be no longer than a day. I promise."

"What is he going to do to him?" Im just gaping at him.

"None of my concern. You are my concern. I will be there before you meet with him. I promise." He says. He holds out his arms and I walk into his hug. I dont want to leave this man but I have no choice. To protect him and me I must face Snoke alone. He pulls back alittle and brings his one hand to hold my chin and kisses me slow and deep. I close my eyes and sqeaze him tighter. His hand flexs against my back, tingling me. I miss his touch, I crave more. He lets go of me and opens his hand to his side and without breaking my case his mask flies to his hand. Quickly and puts his helmet on. The far doors shoot open and the General walks in.

"Times up." He says, loudly and deep. I lower my head, bring up my hood and walk over to him. Kylo grabs my arm and looks down to me, his face hidden from me.

'I love you.'

 _And I love you Kylo Ren._ I walk into the elevator and turn around to see Kylo standing in the middle of the room, hands behind his back. I watch him until the doors shut and I lower my eyes to look at the ground.


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44: Facing The Past

As soon as the doors open to outside, a sudden cold wind chills me. I wrap my arms around myself and follow the Generals feet to a ramp. I finally look up and Kylos ship catches my eye. I have the urge to run back to him but I know I cant. We load onto the shuttle and then his ship is out of view. The inside is crisp. Obviously the shuttle of a General, no doubt. Monitors line the walls, and a large port widow in from brings into view the city below. Its crowded and hazy. One of the stormtroopers push me down into a seat and I glare at up him.

"Dont touch me." I say through my teeth. He backs away and stands behind my chair. Gun ready in front of him in case I try something. The General sits down in a seat near me and turns to face me. One of the remaining stormtroopers starts the engine of the shuttle and we take off, shortly finding ourselves in dead space.

"I am surprised to see you come without a fight." The General says and tilts his head at me. The motion makes me sick.

'This still makes me highly uncomfortable'

I close my eyes to focus on Kylo. _Ill be fine._

'I dont like this one bit.' I close my eyes tighter and fist my hands.

 _You would put us both more at risk by not allowing us to go._

I replay the vision she showed me. I run my eyes over her shiny black hair, her small stature and her chunky legs. I want to touch her. I sigh and look at the General who is just glaring at me.

"I dont see what all the commotion about you is. I think your useless." The General says. He looks me over and it makes me want to vomit.

"You underestimate me General." I say coldly back. I sit up straighter in my seat. "You dont know a thing about me you slim ball." He stands up from his chair and takes the two steps in front of me. His hand raises and he slaps me across the face, hard. I grab my cheek and glare up at him.

"Dont speak to me that way Scavenger." He spits. I ball up my hands on my lap calling the force around me and then suddenly im thrown from my seat by something hitting the ship. I lay on the ground, covering my stomach to protect her. Another blow to the side sends the ship's controls into overload and they start smoking. I close my eyes, thinking of Kylo.

'Whats happening? Rey?!' I feel his anger and worry run through my blood like poison. I scream out in agony at his rage, it temporarily blinds me.

 _I dont know, we are hit. I dont think we can take anymore damage._

The power to the ship shuts off and I can tell instead of being shot down, we are being picked up by a much larger ship. The General walks over to me, lifting me off the ground by my arm. Just then I notice his head is bleeding.

'Rey!'

"You warned them didnt you? I dont know how but you warned them! TRAITOR!" He yells and shakes me. I wrap my hand around my ribs to hold my cloak closed.

'Rey! Dammit!'

"LET GO OF ME!" I scream. The shuttle shakes and comes to a hult inside the hanger of a large vessel. "Its the Resistance." I whisper to myself.

The Generals other hand wraps around my neck and starts squeezing, I can breath. I reach up and grab his wrist. His hand grips tighter and then the ramp starts to lower and he lets go of me. I fall to the ground gasping. From above me the stormtroopers open fire on the Resistance at the bottom of the ramp. I duck from the blasters and the Restiance shoots back at them. A stray bullet hit my lower leg and I yell out in pain.

'REY! ANSWER ME FOR FUCKS SAKE!'

The shooting stops and I hear a voice in the distance yell. "Rey?!"

I look over simultaneously swinging my leg out to grab my wound. "Ahh", I hiss. A man with black hair in an orange suit runs over to me. Behind him I see Finn with a confused look.

"FINN!" I yell at him but he just looks in Poes direction confused.

"He doesnt remember you for some reason now. Im Poe, Its nice to officially meet you, come on. Lets take a look at that." As he is talking, Resistance in rushing up the ramp to take the General hostage. All four stormtroopers dead. Poe looks back at Finn. "Lets get out of this system! NOW!" He yells.

"Oww" I grab at my leg again. In the corner of my eye I see Chewy. "Chewy?" He is running to me.

"Uuuuuuuuur Ahhhhrr Uhhrr Ahhhr Aaaaaghg." He is babbling so fast I cant understand him. He runs up the ramp and scoops me into his big hairy arms. I hug him back. I never thought I would see. I feel the ship jump into hyperdrive and watch as they escort the General with guns drawn into another part of the ship. "Iv missed you." Chewy says.

"Iv missed you more than you will ever know." I wrap my arms around his neck tighter.

"Lets get her to medical." Poe says. Finn still stands in confusion. I feel Kylo pull at my mind, soaking in everything thats happening around me. He has been careful lately of digging to deep because it drains my all my energy. I fall into Chewy's chest and pass out.

* * *

I awake to bright lights. I sit up trying to focus my eyes and when the fuzziness settles, my head explodes with Kylo.

'Where are you? I cant track you, you are moving to fast. Are you okay? What can you see?'

I grab my head as his words make me spin. I dont even have time to think of anything to answer back. I look down and see im in new clothes and my leg is bandaged up. A tan shirt than grabs at my bump a tiny bit and white tight pants. I also have on new tall boots with buckles on the sides. My hand trails to my swollen stomach.

 _Someone changed me. They must of saw. Oh no._

My head shoots up to Poe Dameron sitting in the corner of the room. Just glaring at me. His friendly demeanor gone. His eyes narrow. Hes holding his chin. In my burred vision I could mistake him for Kylo.

"What did he do to you these past 5 months? Your obviously Pregnant." Poe asks. "Finn doesnt remember you and I would like to know why?"

Kylos emotions overwhelm me. His rage sends searing pain through me and I grab at my heart.

 _STOP!_ I yell at him, concentrating on my breathing. Poe gets up from his chair and runs to my side and rubs my back. The pain stops, Kylo calms down and I feel him pacing the apartment.

"I... I... Who knows?" I ask him. Terrified of his response.

"No one. When I noticed I made everyone leave the room. I bandaged your leg and a droid changed you, dont worry." He says. I let out a long breath and fall back onto the bed and put my arm over my eyes.

"I made Finn forget. I was protecting him from ever coming for me. I..." I hesitate, I cant tell him the truth. He would be the first person I told. "I... Uhh.. Kylo can track me where ever I go. Your not safe." I breath out.

"We can remove the tracking device. Where is it?" He says. "Your safe here. None of us are going to let him get you again."

"You cant remove it. Its a... force thing." I say and peak out from under my arm up at him. Hes leaning over me slightly. Looking down at me, it makes me uncomfortable even though I know its a friendly gesture. Do I tell him the rest? "As long as we remain at light speed he cant get to me." I say and cover my eyes again. Embarrassed.

I feel Poe's weight shift off the side of the bed and he walks over to the door and I hear him speak into something. "Keep her at light speed. Dont stop." He demands. I uncover my face and sit up to look at him. He turns and looks back at me.

"Can I have my cloak please?" I ask. Poe walks around to the back of the table to another chair and he hands it me. I wrap it around me and Kylos scent engulfs me.

 _They have the General hostage. Im safe._

'You expect me to just accept that! I cant get to you!'

Little baby kicks me hard and I grab my stomach. "Shhush." I whisper out and then remember im not alone. I look up and Poes arms are crossed and hes leaning on the wall next to the door. His eyes wide.

'I should of left you on Bespin. This is all my fault.'

 _The General would of came there for me once he realized I wasnt with you. Stop!_

"Can I eat something?" I ask Poe. "I would like to see Finn. Maybe I can undo what I did." Poes body language changes and he straitens up.

"Sure, anything you need. Just... stay covered up." He says.

"Can I have my saber?" I ask wearily.

"Its an interesting saber, I have never seen anything like it. Where did you get it?" He says and walks over to a table and grabs my saber and hands it to me. I clip it to my side. I climb down from the table but the shock of the wound to my leg caused my leg to give out and I catch myself on the table. Poe wraps his hand around my waist and we walk over to the door, Poe punches in a code and it opens. No force doors here. I hop down a long hall till we are back out in the hanger. This isnt nearly as big as the Destroyer. It reminds me a lot of Han Solos ship when I first met him. Chewy spots me and runs over and hugs me, I love this big furry mammoth.

'Your hurt?'

 _The baby is fine, that is all that matters._

"Hi, Chewy." I mumble into his fur. The baby kicks again as my stomach growls. "I really need to eat." Chewy lets me go and I turn and continue walking with Poe. Many Resistance look at me in my black First Order cloak and seem confused. Some I recognize. Poe helps me along till we reach an elevator. Once in Poe leans me against the wall and punches in a combination and the elevator shoot up to the very to floor. When we get out we are on the main deck of the ship. The stars are beautiful, nothing like the view from the Destroyers main deck. In front of the window I see Finns back.

"I thought I was going to eat first." I ask. Poe brings me over to an empty chair and sits me down.

"No, I need you to fix him. He hasnt been the same and I have had to take over as General because he has gone crazy." Poe says and walks over to Finn and says something to him and I couldnt hear over the busting of all the people in the room. Finn turns and looks at me and back at Poe. He shrugs his shoulders and walks over to me. Sitting in a chair across the walkway. He leans forward on his elbows and looks at me. His eyes narrow.

"I have never seen you before today yet I feel I know you. Strange." He says. I straiten up in my chair and concentrate. This will be the first time I have accessed my force abilities since the kitchen incident.

'What are you doing?'

I look into Finns eyes and wave my hand in front of me. "You will have all memory of me back." I say as strong as I can, pulling from the force around me. Concentrating on making him remember. So I try again. "You will remember me now." He looks at me with a blank look, his eyes widen and he blinks a few times.

"Rey?" He stands up grabs my arms pulling me into a hug. "REY!" He holds me tight, tears escape from me. "What happened?"

I squeeze him back. "Finn, I have missed you so much. Dont ever leave me again." I cry into his neck.

'You...you are betraying me. Now im going to slaughter them all when I get to you. You will lead me right to them. They will stop sometime.'

I cry even harder into Finn.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45: 19weeks Along

For the past 3 weeks I have spent cooped up in a small room on board the Resistance ship eating my fare share of food. The Resistance has been interrogating the General for secrets of the First Order but he won't crack. They want me to try, they say I could use my force powers to make him talk.

Poe has the Resistance not pulling out of light speed at the moment because they think they are keeping me safe but instead they don't realize what they have done. Kylos rage grows through me everyday. My mind empty of his thoughts as he has been hesitant to not stress me but the bond makes that impossible to ignore. I have been trying to hide my growing bump but she is becoming more and more noticeable. She kicks me in response to touching my stomach, running my hand over the perfectly curved bulge. I thought being around Finn and being back here I would feel I would do good but they just want to use my powers the same way the First Order does.

My vision blurry with a flash of light and suddenly I'm sitting in the lake house across the table from a small child with long black hair, she is eating a pear and smiling at me. "I love you mommy." She says and flashes her teeth, she must be around 4 years old. My heart melts and I go to reach out and touch her but the vision stops. This is how she communicates with me, showing me flashes of what our life is going to be together, we are always at the lake house. It comforts me but confuses me. She is going to be so powerful and it scares me. So much Light and Dark in her. A knock emerges from the door and I pull my cloak tight around me and Finn enters.

"We want you to try and get through to the General today. Please Rey. We need to know where the Destroyer is." He says, he walks into the room and places his hands on my shoulders. "Please Rey?"

"Well now don't you sound like the First Order." I snap at him. He lets go and looks shocked. "I'm sorry." I say and turn around and face the wall.

"Why won't you talk about what happened there? What did he do to you Rey? I know the type of Monster he is. I have seen it first hand. Do you understand how many men we lost to land the false evidence of the meeting on Courscant? Our goal was to get the General or even Kylo Ren himself captured. When I saw you I didnt know you... I don't..." He says but cuts himself off. "Will you come for a walk with me? Can I show you something?"

"I'm really tired. Can you show me tomorrow?" I ask him and turn around. He's already walking towards the door.

"I don't understand, but when your ready to talk I'm here. Your safe now. We won't let him get to you. Whatever it takes." Finn says worriedly and exists the room. I have to escape the Resistance. I can't believe I'm saying this. I cry into my arms.

 _Kylo?_

'Yes?'

 _I'm going to try and escape._

'Your what?'

 _I'm going to try and get them to stop out of hyper speed and steal a ship. I want you to spare them. For me, please._

'Your going to put both your lives in danger. And I won't be so forgiving when I get to you.'

I can't take this anymore. I'm so torn, I'm being drawn to the Dark Side. Back to Kylo, the biggest threat of the Resistance. I grab my lightsaber from my side and weight it in my hand.

 _I don't belong here._

'I have been telling you that since you got here. They will use you and I would protect you.'

I squeeze my eyes shut and grab the lightsaber tighter in my hand.

 _Poe Dameron knows._

'What?!'

His anger flows through me so strong I fall to me knees and yell out. He is much more powerful than I think I will ever be.

 _He saw the first day when you drained me! Please, stop! He hasn't told anyone!_

'And when you betray them he will tell everyone!'

I hate arguing with a voice in my head. I ignore him and run my hand over my stomach, this is much more noticeable now. I can feel her slight kicks on the outside. I can't wait to hold her. To be able to actually touch her. She won't let me touch her in my visions. I stand up and walk over to the door, unlocking it and it slides open to an empty hallway. I look around and walk towards the hanger. It's around dinner time so I know most of the ship is in the cafeteria. In the hanger I spot a group of people near a few x-wing and I see Poe in the mix, I feel relieved. I don't want to run into Finn.. I take a few deep breaths and walk over to them. I need to convince him to take the ship out of hyperdrive and I have no idea how I'm going to do that.

"Poe, can I please talk to you." I say as kindly as I can, smiling at the rest of the people around him. I don't recognize any of them. "Please." I say again.

"Sure." He turns back to everyone and dismissed them. They all leave the hanger, it's just me and Poe. "What's up?"

Poe is the only person I can trust, he has kept my secret and he doesn't try and pry for any answers since I gave Finn back his memories. He thanked me and ever since then I haven't really seen him. It's just other resistance members coming in trying to convince me to torture the General for information.

Everyone here stills believes that I was held captive. No one knows anything about working with them "supposedly". Which is a relief. They would probably kill me for treason, they wouldn't understand. And if anyone knew about the force bond I would be deemed a liability and they would kill me to weaken Kylo.

"I need to go back." I say quietly, embarrassed that I'm asking for his help.

"You what? To the First Order?" He asks.

"I can't stay here, it isn't safe. I need you to help me get back to Naboo. I'm getting bigger, I can be noticed. Please, take me there. Please." I plead.

He walks over closer to me so we can talk quieter. "You want me to help you get back to him? Why?"

"Because that's where I belong. My daughter is in danger of both the Resistance and The First Order. You wouldn't understand, I need to get away from both." I plead. He reaches down and grabs my hand. His touch doesn't satisfy my bare palm like Kylos does. There is no electricity and there is no spark. It's just a kind human contact. Something I barley know. His skin is warm, his hand not to large and soft. Not the hands of a pure murderer. "I'm in danger wherever I go with you. I can't stay here. I'll be safe there from anyone. He isn't going to hurt me and the First Order won't know I'm there either, please Poe. I don't want anything to happen to Finn, or you.

"How does he know where you are?" Poe asks. I can't tell if he will help me or not yet. I here some chatter behind me as some Peale walk through the hanger but quickly exit when they see me. I turn back to Poe.

"See what I mean, what do you think will happen to me when they know I'm carrying his child. I can't explain it, he just knows where I am, it's a force thing that happened when I was their prisoner. Ever since then he has been kind." I look down at my hands. "He will never hurt me. I'll be safe at the lake house. And you guys will be safe to continue to fight the First Order. You have their biggest weapon in custody. I can't even really use the force right now or it'll hurt me, us." And I rub my bump. The shirt tighter than before. "Please, help us. If anything do it for Finn, this will protect him." I sigh, looking into his eyes. He looks at me confused.

"Fine, but we are going to have to do this in a now. We have to stop for fuel and supplies, we are by the outer rim, not far from Naboo. We plan to only stop for an hour so I will bring you down and secure you a ship you can take to Naboo. You can obviously fly. Can you get there youself?"

"Really?" I whisper as people star filling the hanger. I pull the cloak tighter.

"Lets get you on the ship." I pull my hood over my head and Poe puts his hand on my back and leads me to a far ship in the corner, no one can see us. He sits me down in the passenger seat and clips me in. "Stay here till I come back." My heart starts racing at the thought of getting out of here.

'What's wrong?' Kylo is worried by my sudden heart quickening.

 _Don't freak out, Poe is heping me get back to Naboo. Just let me get there first then you can come. Please. Please just spare them._

'When?'

 _Just be there in a few days._

'Hmm.'

"Okay, they are jumping out of hyperdrive, I convinced them that I'm taking a separate shuttle for parts I need and don't want to slow down the other crew and I'll meet up with them back here. I don't know why I'm doing this Rey. But I know what they will do to you when they find out about you." I strap in tight, not knowing how to respond. He turns and gets the shuttle ready for departure, it's a modern transport shuttle for the resistance. We jolt forward alittle, thankful for being strapped in. We jumped out of hyper speed and I feel Kylo overwhelm with anger, he must realize where we are.

'Putero.'

"Putero?" I say out loud. Poe looks at me with a shocked face.

"How did you..." He says, his mouth gaping at me.

"He knows where we are. I don't know if I can't stop him from coming. We better hurry. Now."

Poe swings around and the ship hovers and shoots through the opening doors. Barley making it. What is Finn going to think?

I slide down in the seat as the blackness of space comes into view with a small metal planet growing in size in front of us.

"Is that a metal planet?" I ask Poe. This place looks man build.

"Yeah, strictly for fueling up. We are going to land in a small port in the trading hall. There should be some people down there that will help me. We just have to keep a low profile. Your cloak might make you... noticeable."

"I am not letting anyone see me." I say to him through my teeth. She kicks me in my side. I place my hand on my stomach. "And I am not leaving this behind." I grab at my cloak.

"Okay." He speeds up and we hit the planets atmosphere. The tall chrome towers come into view. No green in sight. I take a deep breath. We land in a area surrounded by different varieties of creatures and humans. I tap my side to feel at my lightsaber under my cloak. He opens the ramp and together we walk out into the market looking bustling city.

I feel a shift in the force and grab poes shoulder to steady myself. He turns and looks down at me.

"Kylo is coming. You have to get the resistance out of here. Go back! NOW!" I yell at him, "I will be fine. Just go, tell them to get out of here. They are safe now." He doesnt say a word. He runs back onto his ship and takes off. Im standing in the middle of the market and people are staring.

Its cold here. I start running through the ground, bumping into people right and left but making my way through to a ally. I run through to another street that has no crowd, its empty. I turn left and run down the road till I spot an empty metal building in the distance. It looks old, fringed fabric hanging in the window. I run as fast as I can to the 4 stroy metal building. I get to it and am exhausted, I havent had this much physical activity in while. Im thirsty and weak. I creak open a door and look inside. Its pitched black. I walk inside and grab my lightsaber and flick one of the sides it on. The lobby lights up and im standing in a small room. This is like a hotel.

The stairs to my right circle up to every floor. I look strait up and I can see the railing spin up to the ceiling. A walkway off each floor to the stairs. The place smells of rot and mold. I walk over to the bottom stairs and sit down. Surely Kylo will find me in here and thow a fit. Though I just want to see him, I dont want to fight. I lean against the railing, my eyes heavy. my lightsabers hums in my hand. I lay it on the floor in front of me for light. I can hear dripping water in the background. I concentrate on it and my eyes close.

 **** I really debated continuing on this chapter, haha. I hope everyone is enjoying this so far. Thank you to all my readers. You are amazing and I appreciate the reviews. I love them, they make me want to write more. -SSL ****


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46: Running Back

A loud bang wakes me from my snooze. My hand shoots over my belly protecting it. I grab my saber from the floor but there is nothing around that my Light touches that alarms me. I lower my arm and lean back to let out a long sigh. I don't know how long I have been asleep so I slowly open the door to peak outside.

It's deserted, empty, and dark. I don't want to go outside with my saber and alert anyone who might see me with it. I also don't want to go out without it. It's dark. What was I thinking coming back to him. I just knew what danger the Resistance was in and I have no one else to teach me about the force. I just needed to know that I wasn't leading Kylo to the Resistance. Now that Finn remembers me, he won't stop looking for me either. I have made such a mess of things.

Another loud bang erupts from the sky. I disengage my lightsaber and walk outside. In the stars is a serious of red flames, a battle between light and dark. I squint my eyes, the Destroyer blocks out a large portion of the stars, I can only see its black outline. A shiver runs through my body. In the sky is a swarm of red and blue lights. The First Order is attacking the Resistance. I just wanted Kylo to take me somewhere safe and now I just brought total doom to the Resistance. An flaming x-wing flies overhead and lands in the street behind me and engulfed the street in its fiery glow.

"Noooooooo!" I yell out. I run into the middle of the street, everything glowing in the fiery red light of the crash. I instantly become to hot from the heat coming off the scene. I look around me. Where is everyone? I run over to the ally that brought me into this empty street. I run down it and stand at the edge of the shadows.

In the market lays countless dead merchants and resistance pilots. Standing above them are white stormtroopers. I let out a gasp and one looks at me. He raises his gun and pulls the trigger. The beam comes towards me but stops just inches from my face. I grab over my heart and move to stand against a nearby wall to steady myself. The glowing red light shines just nearly an arms reach away. I can't stop staring at it, it frozen in time. But then I feel him, him approaching me. I look into the market and he's stomping towards me. Fist clenched at his sides.

 _You killed them all._

'I did.'

 _Stay away from me._

I spin around and sprint back towards the Resistance pilots burning xwing. Once in the street I turn and run back towards the building I was in. I have no idea what to do. I feel him, slowly wrapping his force around me. Careful not to hurt me. I'm frozen in the middle of the street, the flame still glowing bright. Xwings and Tie Fighters cris crossing above us, but up to high to notice me. I hear him walking up behind me and then he stops and unfreezes me and I sag to the ground.

I quickly get to my feet and spin to face him. He's closer than I thought he was and I gasp. He grabs my arms to hold me from turning back to run.

'Why are you running from me?' What a dumb question.

"Because you murdered all those innocent people! I told you to just come for me!" I yell at him. I bang my fists against his chest as hard as I can. "Why are you such a monster!" I yell. His grasp around my arms tighten. I start hitting him even harder. "I hate you!"

"You also forget they had our General and we need him. If we don't have him I can't stay with you. I would have to run the Destroyer myself." He's so angry with me for running from him when he saw me. I can feel it coarse through my veins and in my very heart. I feel his darkness overwhelm me. I close my eyes and think of the baby's visions and happiness like on Naboo. I try to push his darkness out.

"I hate you. I hate you!" I yell through my teeth, squeezing my eyes tighter. His darkness grows through me. I yell out as I try pushing it out but it consumes me. A warm tingle forms above my top lip and my body goes limp in Kylos hands.

He catches me in his arms, cradling me like a child against his chest as he walks back to the shuttle.

'I shouldn't of done that' He looks down at me, we are almost to the market. He stops and kneels down to balance me so he has a free hand. He reaches over and pulls my cloak to cover my stomach. He stands back up, I can't deny that this man makes me feel safe... Spending these three weeks away from him weren't as pleasant as I thought going back would be. I wanted to be back with him.

"Don't do anything." He says. His words confuse me and bring my attention into more focus. I pick my head up alittle and look around. As he steps into the market with not a Stormtrooper in sight. Finn stands across from us. Baring his teeth.

"I will not let you take her again." He ignites his lightsaber, the same one I saw last time when we were in the field. Kylo looks down at me and slowly lowers my feet to the ground to let me stand, my body still weak from trying to force him out.

"I told you that next time I saw you that you wouldn't be so lucky. Traitor." Kylo hisses at him. I grab at his arm and he looks down at me.

 _Please don't._

"Rey! What are you doing? Run!" Finn yells at me, Kylos head snaps in Finns direction.

Another flash of light forms in front of my eyes, this time I'm laying in bed next to a crying baby in a bassinet at the lake house. I get up to go comfort her but someone steps in front of me. "Finn, what are you doing here? It isn't what you think!" I yell. He looks over to the baby and picks her up. I go to take her from him but instead he steps back. "Give me Ana!" I yell. I didn't know that was her name yet. It just came out. I just want to touch her.

"I... I... Can't. She must be destroyed." And he disappears into the shadows. I snap back out of the vision. My free hand instantly shoot to my stomach and my eyes dart to Finn who is wide eyed staring at my hand over my cloak. He looks back at Kylo then to me.

"Nooo." I say. I feel Kylo pull the vision from my memory as it makes me dizzy for a second.

'That's not going to happen' Kylo turns and steps in front of me. Finn already ignited his lightsaber and his feet shift and he starts running towards us. Kylo snaps his lightsaber on and meets Finns saber just inches from him.

"What... Did... You... Do... To.. Her!" Finn yells at Kylo between slashing. My heart sinks. Kylo will surely kill him now. The sleeve of Finns orange suit slides down his arm, reveling some his mechanical arm.

"Stop!" I yell. I ball my little hands up. Kylo raises his hand and pushes Finn across the market area and into a building on the far side. He runs to me, setting his lightsaber on the ground by my feet. He grabs my hands.

"Don't." He says. I look over and Finn isnt moving from the ground. I look back at Kylo. Is Finn dead? Kylo puts both my wrists in his one hand and leads be behind one of the crome buildings to his ship, stormtroopers stand attentive at the bottom of his ramp. He rushes up the ramp and sits me down. Quickly we take off towards the Destroyer.

This is not how I imagined this going. I feel like I just screwed everything up, I sink into my chair and his ship lands in the hanger. Im noticeably pregnant, maybe not through my cloak, but if Snoke sees me...

And what about the vision? And Ana? Could I name her that. Is Finn dead? Is the General here? My thoughts overwhelm me.

 ****I know some people wonder why I would have Rey go back to him. No matter where so was she couldn't escape him. No one is safe around her. Plus, undeniably she loves him and wants to be with him. She thought she could get to the lake house, but Kylo is a evil person. Maybe that is what draws me to him as a character in the first place, I dont see him as a soft unless in bed ;) The way he would do anything for her to protect her. He in the perfect evil villain man. Thank you always for reading :)**

 **Like I have mentioned before, everything happens for a reason.****


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47: Back on the Destroyer

I'm laying on my side in Kylos room, on his bed. He refuses to let me stay in the white room, he only left me here to go check on something. Iv been super quiet, worrying about the Resistance. Its all my fault. Kylo says his Knights barley General Green out. Some of the Resistance managed to escape from the First Order. I run my hands over my stomach lightly and she kicks in response. Why would she show me Finn doing that?

"Ana?" I whisper... "I like that name. Is that what I'll name you?" I ask down at my stomach. I close my eyes and sprawl my hand over my rounded belly.

A sudden flash of light flickers behind my eyelids and then I see her, she is playing out in the meadow. Maybe 4 years old. Picking flowers, running around between the tall grass, her light green dress flows in the breeze. She looks up at me, her stunning green eyes against her long black hair that is pushed behind her silly ears. So much like her father, yet so much of me.

"Ana!" I yell to her.

"Mommy! Mommy! Want me to pick you some flowers mommy?" And she skips over to me flashing me her wide white teeth smile. She's is so beautiful in every way. Shes over just out of arms reach and closes her eyes. Around me, flower tops start rising from the meadow, being invisibly plucked from all around me. Slowly ascending into the air. The whole meadow is engulfed in floating flowers. I put my hands to my side and touch a few, they sway in her force field.

"Baby, this is beautiful. Thank you." I reach out to her but my vision stops and I sit up in bed.

"Why won't you let me touch you baby girl?" I rub my stomach lightly. I feel huge though I am only halfway there. My belly sticks out to form a perfect curve. My stomach growls and I lay back in bed and put my arm over my eyes. I didn't want to be back on the Destroyer.

The door slides open and I shoot up to Kylo walking in. My heart stops, not realizing how much I missed him when I was with the Resistance.

"Did you kill Finn?" I ask him. He doesn't remove his helmet as he stalks towards me. "Did you?"

"Did you want him endangering our daughter?" He says coldly. Sobs erupt from my eyes. I cover them, hiding my face. My whole body quivers in grief.

"I hate you." I say into my hands.

"Do you forget? Did you not want to come back?" He asks, I look up at him.

"I just wanted to be away from this and that! I begged you to only come for me and spare them!" I yell. I crawl out of the bed to the opposite side. Just the bed between me and Kylo. "I am being used were ever I go. I hate it! You... You use me as just a slave to the First Order, that you can turn me! Well you can't and they just want me because they think I'm like a Jedi savior and I don't want that either! I just wanted to go home." I sob into my hands.

"You think your my slave?" I hear the hiss of his helmet and through my fingers I see him set it on the bed, but I refuse to look at him. "I didn't force you to have sex with me! I defiantly did not get you pregnant on purpose. That was an accident. One I'm still having a hard time accepting." His eyes shoot to my stomach, my black shirt and pants are tight. My stomach in full view without my cloak. "I didn't force you to love me. I didn't force the bond! I don't want any of this either!" He yells at me. I open my hands and look at him.

"You don't want me?" I ask. His eyes widen, his posture straitens, his hands tighten.

"Don't turn this on me!" He yells.

"But you just said..." I gawk at him. "Then let me just go back home. I'll raise Ana on my own." I just like saying her name.

"Ana?" His face twists. "Why do you call her that?"

"Because that's what I called her in her vision. It just felt right... I don't know, I like it." I say. "I'm leaving." I walk around the bed towards the door but he grabs my arm.

"Where do you think your going?" He asks. His face set in stone.

"I don't want to be here anymore. If I'm not your prisoner or slave then I am free to leave." I demand. I shrug my arm trying to get away.

"You are not going anywhere. You may not be those things but you are still mine. Both of you are." He looks at my stomach and back up at me. "Does it not matter to you that I genuinely love you and that I am happy to have you back." He says.

"That doesn't change that you are a monster. You... You kill innocent people. Men, women, children. What makes me think you won't kill our own daughter when she comes. You murderer..." My voice trails off.

"Your scared of me?" His eyes narrow at mine. He feeds off peoples fear of him. "I feel it, its oozes from you."

"Im afraid for my daughter. What type of life can she have with a monster like you as a father. No wonder you were only in one vision." I snap. He shift his body so both his hands are around my upper arms.

"She will be the most powerful force sensitive to ever live. Two force sensitive parents. She shows you visions... I cant imagine what she will do when she comes." He says. My eyes wide. "You've seen it. Haven't you?" My eyes close and he pulls her last vision from my head. When I open my eyes he is grinning from ear to ear.

"So will just kill me after she gets here. This was your plan all along. Make me love you and use me to bring a spawn into the world for you! I rather die right now than allow you to continue to have control over us. I trusted you." I say.

"Stop with your childish behaviors. I would have been able to feel you as soon as they jumped out of hyper speed. If you were on board still, I would have slaughtered them all. But instead you might have saved a few measly lives... Like your precious friend, Poe?" His eyes narrow. "We have to go see Supreme Leader." He says, his eyes cold as ice. My hands shoot to my stomach.

"No." I say.

"No?" He says back confused.

"Hell no! Look at me! I am not going in there!" I scream at him. Ana kicks me in response. Her little feet kick hard.

"You dont have a choice Rey! You are to do as your told. Especially here! I am still your master." He says through his teeth.

"You were never my master!" I snarl back. He lets go of my arms and walks over to the wall were my cloak has been hanging. He throws it at me and commands me to put it on, like im going to go anywhere without it. I jam my arms into it and pull it around me. "Soon I wont be able to hide this." I say with an attitude.

"I know." He says as he walks over to the door and waits for me. His helmet in his one hand and his other hand in a fist by his side. "If this goes right I will be able to take you away back to Bespin. Please just keep your mouth shut and go along with anything I tell you to." His helmet hisses shut.

"Can we go to the lake house? Please." I beg. I want to feel the sun again on my skin and I want to swim in the water. I dont want to feel like a prisoner.

"I dont know." He says while he puts his mask on, the door opens and we walk towards the black corridor in silence.

My cloak flowing behind me as I walk, I feel very first order even though I refuse to be. We turn down the black hallway and I am thankful that I dont get the eerie feeling, so I know Snoke is not in there in person. I take a deep breath, bring my hood over my head and put my hands in front of me holding my cloak closed. when I look down I notice it doesn't lay flat down my stomach like before.

 _He is going to know Kylo. I cant go in there._

I turn around but Kylo catches my waist.

'He isnt going to know. I promise you. Ill feel it if things get to close.'

We walk towards the door and it slides open. At the end of the isle is a badly bruised General Green. His eyes soften when he sees me. We get to the end of the isle and I slowly walk up the steps. The General isn't grilling me like he always does. Instead he nods his head at me and looks forward to the stone throne.

 _Am I missing something?_ _Whats going on?_

'Just follow my lead'

The hologram of Snoke flickers to life in front of us.

"Master." Kylo bows his head.

"Kylo Ren, I see you successfully managed to get our General back. Impressive that you also managed to retrieve your apprentice." His voice booms through the room like a violent thunder.

"Without the help of my apprentice my lord, I dont know if we would have reached the General alive." Kylo looks over at me and back up. "She was able to gain their trust and through their efforts, they still could not make her turn again the General. She was able to escape and alert me of their location."Kylo roars. Proud of his lie.

"General, is this true?" Snoke points his attention to the badly banged up General.

"My lord, I did not once see Rens lady aboard the Resistance vessel." General Green states.

"Mmmm," Snoke humms. His very existence makes me quiver and I want to reach for Kylos hand for comfort. "I see. Tell me young one. Do they fear you?" His eyes burn into my soul. Ana kicks at my rib a little bit, discomfortingly.

"They fear what they do not know and they should." I say back to him. Kylo looks over to me, I cant tell if he is approves of my choice of words. I feel like im talking about myself. My stomach knots. Snoke grills me.

"Hmm, Master Ren. Do you approve?" Snoke looks at him. Ren looks over to me and the up at Snoke.

"I think she has done exceptional Supreme Leader. And with my training she was not seduced back to the Light." Kylo booms with pride, like a puppy he has been training.

"What do you wish to do with her now?" Snoke asks him.

"I wish to take her away to continue her training. I see no reason that my Knights cant handle covering the situation on Bespin. The Resistance is weak now." He says. His words surprise me. He is being very forward with Snoke right now, the feeling makes me uneasy. I also feel my bladder is about to explode because Ana thinks its a pillow. I shift uncomfortably on the heels of my feet. Kylo senses it.

"General, can you manage the building of the new SiderealStar?" Snoke looks to General Green and he nods back.

 _The what?_

"Okay Master Ren, you may proceed. For now." And Snokes hologram flickers off. The General turns to me, nods, and walks down the stairs towards the door. Once he is gone and its just me and Kylo in here, I look to him.

"Are you building another StarKiller?" I gape at him. He leans in a little. Towering over me.

"Better." He says, his mechanical voice deep. It sends chills down my whole body.

"Who is there possibly left to destroy?" I look up at his mask. I wish I could see his face.

"Everyone who stands in my way." His demeanor is dark. He takes my wrist into his hand and traces the lines of my palm with his thumb. How can a man who emits so much dark also be so gentle at the same time.

My eyes flash white and a vision appears. Its Kylo and Ana sitting in the chair by the balcony in the room on the lake. She must be only a few weeks old, she is so tiny in his large hands. Hes holding her gently in front of him, with one hand behind her head and one under her butt, just looking at her. Her tiny feet rest on his chest. But hes wearing his full uniform and mask.

"Ill always protect you and mommy from them." He says to her, my heart just melts. His voice as quiet as the mask will allow. He gets up and sets her in the bassinet by the bed and then he exists the room without a word. I sit up out of bed and I look down at Ana, sleeping on her back with her little balled up hands laying to the sides of her head. I look at the door and then back at the sleeping beautiful baby, I lean in to touch her but my vision stopped.

 ****Thank you everyone for your kind reviews and follows! This story means so much to me, and now the next few chapters i will include some reylo love for you before getting to another big scene.**

 **Much love- SSL****


	48. Chapter 48

**** Thank you all for your reviews, i love every one of them. Thank you for going on this adventure with me :) Let me know what you think so far! -SSL :) ****

Chapter 48: Shower

We arrive back at Kylos room and he takes off his helmet quick with a hiss. I watch as he walks over to the flush wall of drawers. He waves his hand over one and he pulls out some clothes, black of course. He goes to hand me a large shirt. "Would you be more comfortable in this?" He asks. His voice soft. I take the shirt from him and excuse myself to the shower. I catch myself looking in the mirror at my round bump, do I really look that big? Once I finally step into the glass shower, the steam fills the room. The warmth surrounds me, comforting me. A knock on the door startles me and it slowly cracks open. I can't see to much in the steamed up room.

 _What do you want?_

'Can I come in there with you?'

His question makes me freeze, _In the shower?_

I think about it for a few seconds. Looking down at my naked body. I desire his closeness, a chance to examine his whole body makes my skin itch with anticipation. I close my eyes and just let the warm water cascade over my skin. My hands under my stomach. I jump when a cold hand touches and is slowly wrapping his fingers around my upper arm. My eyes spring open and standing in front of me is a God looking man. A body carved out of stone and perfectly chiseled for the purpose of physical combat. I carefully lift my hand up to touch his stomach and the small trail of hair under his belly button. His other hand moves to under my chin, raising it to look up at him. I soften my face and my eyes just fall upon his. He lets go of my arm to sprawl his long fingers on my back and pulls me to him. The water falling in between us.

"Your even more beautiful now, you glow." His hand moves from my chin to my cheek. I lean into his hand and close my eyes. This man, this horrible monster of a man, is mine. And I love him. "I love you Rey. Even more now than the day I first saw you. I can't stop playing thinking about you. Ever. You are the one I want to be with the rest of my life. I can't have you in danger. You are the only family I have..."

"Because you killed them all!" I say. He pulls away. His body in full view. His perfect muscles and form tower over me. His hands in fists by his sides.

"Because they made me weak! You... Ana..." His voice trembles. The force shifts around me, his dark slowly filling me but pulls back quickly. I cross my arms around my chest covering my breasts. "Make me stronger." My breathing deepens and my heartbeat quickens. Kylo looks perfect, even in anger. Sometimes I'm happy he wears his mask to hide his handsome features of his long face, high cheekbones, and a nose that reminds me of Han. His hair is damp around his face. This setting is far to intimate for this talk. I look at the door and go to leave but he freezes me. He steps in front of me again. "I am not only drawn to your power, no doubt still in need of training and perfecting..." He trails a finger down my shoulder. "But I am drawn to your beauty. To your Light." I watch as Kylos hands fall down to my stomach, rubbing it and looking at it. He smiles and then he unfreezes me and grabs my face, leaning into a deep kiss.

I grab his elbows to steady myself from falling. My breast perk when they come into contact with his chest. His skin on fire, his abs pressed against my stomach. Slowly he backs my into the wall. I part my lips to allow his tongue to guide across my teeth. His hands in my hair and slowly he lowers his right hand. His fingers never leave my skin as they move down my neck and collar bone. He runs his thumb over the top of my breast. He pulls away and I'm gasping lightly for air.

"You can't deny that we belong together, you are drawn to me. My thoughts call to you when your awake. Your mind always thinking about me. You can't say that you don't want me to protect you. There is no one who will do it better!" He yells.

"But in my vision, you are leaving. In another Finn is taking Ana from me and you arnt there. I'm alone raising our daughter! I haven't even tested my powers because I physically drain from it, and I haven't even tested my new saber really. I'm useless. Your lies to Supreme Leader. He is going to see through all this. I don't want to be here. You say you love me but I feel like a prisoner. What type of life will she have... What type of father will you be! Let's pray she doesn't become more powerful than you and kill you!" I yell. I cover my chest again. The hot water pooling in arms. "We are done here!" I slide past him to leave but he catches my arm.

"We are not done here." His eyes narrow and he pulls me back to wear I was standing. "You dare to speak to me in that tone? I would do anything for you. When have you ever in your life had someone who would do that for you! Who would shelter you and protect you! Is that why it's so hard for you to love? Do you not know what love is? This! This is more than just a mere bond Rey. I want you to someday be my wife." He says.

My heart stops, I just look up to him and part my mouth a bit, my hair is soaked and my skin is blotchy from the hot water. I blink away the water that drips in my eyes and look at this beast of a man and think could I really marry this man someday. Heck, I'm having his baby.

"I have never had a family before. I sure wouldn't kill them if I did." I snap. His face twists at me and he steps back. "But I do know that I feel like if I lost you, I would die of pure agony. And when I'm not with you..." I uncover my breasts and sprawl my hands across my stomach and look down at the life we created together. Tears fall from my eyes and I hope Kylo just thinks it's water dripping from my hair. "All I want to do is be with you. I can never leave, I don't want to leave you. I just don't want to be apart of The First Order that you portray me as." Without even thinking I lunge forward and hug him, to hide my face in his collar bone. His chin on top of my head and he wraps his arms around me, holding me tight under the water.

"I won't ever let anyone harm you. Even if I am not there, someone will be to protect you. You... You are my main priority. I love you." He says. His voice sincere. One moment we are fighting, the next we are hugging, and now all I want to do is wrap my body around him and claim him. It's been so long since we have been intimate and I crave his touch more than anything. "Can I fuck you right here?" He says. He is breathing heavy, I feel his heart and hear it at the same time as my ear in on his chest. I feel his want, his need, his passion, his lust, and his erection. I pull away from him, my mouth watering for this man.

"Uhh, here.." Im embarrassed and shy still in front of this man though his child lays in my womb. He bites his bottom lip and brings his hand up to streak my hard nipple.

"Mm," erupts from his throat. He brings up his other hand to my rib and moves his hand to mirror is other. Slowly he moves his hands down my sides and then follows to my behind. He bends down alitte. Wrapping his hands around the back of my legs. Without a warning, he lift me into the air. My ankles hook behind him. We are almost face to face. Our bodies slippery and his soaked hair clinks to his forehead. He's panting. He backs me up to the wall and pushes me against it to free his hands. I tighten my legs as not to fall. His hands are in my hair and he pulls me into a kiss, my arms wrapped around his neck for support. Our tongues intertwine, tasting each other. He moves one hand down to my breast and the motion send my head back and my back to arch.

"Ahh," I moan. Kylo smiles at me. He moves his hands down to the back of my legs.

"Unhook your feet." He says. I do as I'm told. To drawn to his actions to argue and I feel the heat between my legs pooling deep within me. I'm crave it, I want more. He grabs me and slowly lowers me so he slides in. The moment his tip fills me I can't help but moan to him. I lower my head into his chest and he thrusts into me. My nails claw into his shoulders, not caring if I draw blood. He lifts me up slowly again and lowers me to thrust in again.

"Oh Kylo." I whisper. His grip tightens immediately. His rhythm quickens. I bring my mouth up to his and grab his head. He stops and pushes me into the wall and kisses me back hard. His need meeting mine. I feel my insides heat and my body ready to give out and release. My breathing deep and fast. He pulls back and thrusts 3 more times before leaning me into the wall and kissing me slowly and passionately. I know he's done, I feel no tenseness coming from his body. We are both completely relaxed and spent. Ready for bed.

He pulls out slowly and lowers me to the ground. "I can never get enough of you." He says into my ear. My eyes close and then I feel to hot. My head is dizzy from the steam. "Time for bed." Kylo shuts off the water with a wave of his hand and pulls me out of the shower. He wraps a towel around his waist quick before pulling a large fluffy towel around me. Lightly he drys me off. Taking an extra second to dry my belly. "You look so beautiful like this." He says and runs his thumb over my belly button. He leaves me in the bathroom to get dressed. I walk out into the room, in his t-shirt and underwear. It just covers my butt. Honestly this is the most comfortable thing I have been in, it doesn't cling to my growing belly.

Kylo is sitting on the edge of the bed across from the windows, his head down. He's dressed in my favorite pants and no shirt. My heart quickens alittle. I walk over and stand in front of him. My legs bare and cold against the crisp Destroyer air. He looks up just enough to look at my legs. He runs his hands down my thighs and then stands up to look at me.

"I meant what I said. All of it." His face stern, his emotions steady with a mixture of joy, anger, want, and need. I don't know what to say to him, his words ring in my ears... wife...

"Can we go to bed, I am so tired." My eyes are half open. I lean my head to the side and my brown waves fall around me, my hair is getting longer by the week it seems.

"Okay." He drops down and scoops me up and lays me down. He walks around and crawls into bed with me. Wrapping his arm around me and sprawling his hand across my stomach.

Ana kicks him.

He removes his hand and sits up to look down on me. I roll over a little to look at him and smile. His eyes are wide and he is smiling from ear to ear. I close my eyes and roll back over. I feel him slowly star to lower himself on to the bed. He stops to kiss my plant a small kiss on my neck, the motion sending a tingle down my spine. He place his hand back. Ana kicks him a few times and rolls under his hand. His fingertips tighten on my stomach and pull me closer. He rubs circles with his thumb against my bump. Quickly sleep takes over.


	49. Chapter 49

**** Hi everyone, thank you for reading :) You are all amazing, thank you ****

Chapter 49: Roots

I slowly wake up to the feeling of fingers running down my exposed neck. I roll over to face Kylo. His face soft and he's smiling at me.

"I could wake up to this everyday." He says. I snuggle into his chest and his arm wraps around to my back, pulling me into him closer. His other arm still under my pillow. We are both laying on our sides and our bodies are flush against each other, well as much as they can be. He plants a soft kiss in my hair, the warmth coming from him is welcoming and I snuggle into him closer. "I want to take you back to the lake house for sometime. I think it's the safest place for you to be." He says. I pull away and smile wide at him.

"Really?" I ask. His hand slides down the side of my ribs and over my hip to the hem of the shirt. With a swift action he rolls me onto my back, he hovers over me with all his weight on his elbows and knees. My insides pool with desire, I never thought I would be drawn to someone in such a way. Never getting enough of him physically and mentally.

"I want to keep you safe and... happy." He says, his face saddens. I reach my hand up and cup his cheek, my thumb runs over his scar. I usually don't notice it, his beautiful face ruined by me. Then he was a horrible monster, well... He still is.

"You can heal, why not heal this?" My heart sinks. His eyes were wandering about my hair and his fingers plying with loose ends by his hands.

"Because Supreme Leader says when I look in the mirror I need to be reminded of what a failure I was that day. Beaten by a scavenger." His eyes dart to mine, he's afraid he offended me.

"It's okay," I say. "You were trying to kill me then. I was fighting for my life." I retract my hand and place it flat on the bed beside me. Looking away from him into the part of the window that's not covered by curtains.

"And you fought well," he said. "You... You don't know how agile and memorizing you are going to be when we get back to training."

My eyes shoot to him, "Can we continue now?"

"It's to dangerous Rey." He says. "We will continue the moment she's here. I want you as powerful as you can be just as much as you want to be. We don't even know your potential yet. Your a quick learner. Much quicker than any of my Knights I assure you." He says. He smiles like a child. Proud to be my teacher, and I am great full to have him as that.

"But I won't fight for the Dark side." I remind him. I try to roll out from under him but he stops me with his body. He reaches down with his left hand and grabs my hand and pins it next to my head, he repeats on the other side. I am pinned down completely. He leans down and starts kissing my neck. Slow light kissed down to the top of the shirt.

"Mmf" He lets out. Frustrated with how much clothing covers me. He lifts his head and gazes down at me. Our eyes locked. "Why?"

"Why what?" I tilt my head.

"Why won't you fight on the Dark side with me?" He asks. His jaw squares. He's serious.

"Because I am no Sith." I say to him between my teeth. "You can't be serious right now." I say. I try squirming away but he has me down. There is no escaping him at all and I don't want to use the force.

"I am very serious. Why won't you willingly fight with me? What is so wrong with what I do? Who I am? Who our child will be. The great-granddaughter of Darth Vader. The Greatest Sith Lord to ever live. I will surpass him someday. I have only just begun. And with you by my side... we would be unstoppable." His eyes narrow. Searching mine for a response.

"Because I am not a murderer. I am a Jedi." I say calmly. He picks up my hands and slams them against the bed.

"They were going to use you for your powers!" He yells.

"So are you!" I snap coldly at him.

"But I love you." He says.

"Uugghh!" I yell at him. "This baby is park Luke Skywalker, was he not the greatest Jedi to ever exist. Maybe Ana will take after him, or Han Solo, or... Your mother! Your the only evil one!" I yell! His eyes glaze over with a yellow as golden as a morning sun. Memories of the night in Bespin when he found out I was pregnant, when we found out, he wanted me dead then because I struck a nerve. I squeeze my eyes closed and wiggle my body around under him. Is he going to kill me now? I open my eyes to Kylo, staring down at me. He lifts his hand and everything goes black.

* * *

"Please wake up..." I hear softly in my ear. I feel his fingers trickle down my arm. His front to my back. I dont even open my eyes, I just roll over and rest my forehead to his chest.

"Im sorry. I just dont want our baby to be... bad." I whisper. I wonder if it is even loud enough for him to hear me. "I just want to believe she is going to do good." I pull away from him and look into his face. "Im going to teach her all the good things. Only the good things."

"And what if she becomes curious of the Dark Side? Are you going to stop her?" He asks.

"No. I just hope there is enough of me in her to want to be good. To not be influenced by the dark side. Like your Mother, she must be like your Grandmother." I say. His brows crease.

"Why must you always bring my family up?" He asks. He props his head up in his hand to look down on me.

"Well, you must admire your grandmother and she had to be beautiful. And for loving such a Dark man like Vader. Wouldn't you want our daughter to be like her?" I say. He looks between my eyes, stunned by my words.

"Perhaps." He says and he rolls out of the bed. "I have to prepare the shuttle and put out a few orders. Be ready in an hour." I watch him get dressed and my mouth waters. He looks over to me as he puts on his last glove and gives me a smile. "What are you looking at?"

"You." I smile back at him. Hes about to put his helmet on but he stops and looks back at me. he walks over and crawls onto the bed and hovers over me. He feels so much more dangerous when he wears these robes. His eyes narrow.

"What are you looking at?" I ask, giggling.

"You." He says. He leans down and plants a soft kiss on my lips before drawing back and putting his helmet. Sometimes I cant believe that man loves me and that we are bonded. If I am to be protected by anyone, Im glad its him. Ana kicks me hard. I drag myself to the edge of the bed and dangle my feet to the floor. She kicks me again harder.

"Ooof." I let out. I put my hands on my stomach. Kylos head whips to me. "Im fine." I hold my hand up to him while looking down at my other hand on my stomach. I feel huge. "Ooof." She kicks again. This time I let out giggles. "Come here." He walks over and kneels in front of me. The moment feeling very intimate. He takes off his glove and I grab his hand and place it right where Ana was kicking. She kicks again right on que to her fathers hand. Our force around us shifting in a beautiful blend of good and bad. I wish I could see his face. It feels as though they are connecting through the force. He slides his hands off and stands up. He looks down on he and touches my cheek with his thumb.

"Nothing will ever happen to you two." He says. And turns around and walks out of the room.

* * *

I wait by the window for Kylo, all dressed in black, my hair in a braid to the side. I look down and when my cloak isn't closed my belly pokes out. I smile to myself and run my hand over it. The door slides open and I look up as Kylo walks in and removes his helmet. I go to turn to him.

"No, stop." He says and sets his helmet down on the table. He walks over to me and takes my hands into his. This is the Kylo I love, the softer, gentle, and calm. Unmasked Kylo. The bond allows us to share memories, feelings, pushed thoughts... but lately its been something different. Stronger.

"What?" I ask, he is staring at me.

"You just look so beautiful. That's all. I'm a lucky man." He says and brings up my hands and gently kisses the top of each one.

"I feel like I am somewhat the lucky one." I say. "I dont feel lucky being trapped here. But lucky i'm trapped here with you." I look down at his belt and his lightsaber that hangs on his side. He half smiles at me.

"I have a surprise for you when we get to the lake house. Something I think will keep you happy." he says. My skin prickles at the thought of the possibilities it could be. I try and push into his mind and find out but he quickly pushes me out. And I dare not to try and push back or he will scold me for using my powers to much. I pout at him. "Ohhh no. Not this time." He shakes his head and smiles. He kisses the top of my forehead before walking over and grabbing his mask. He hisses his mask shut and I pull my cloak closed.

"I cant wait to go to the meadow." I say, my attitude improving by the second the more I think about the beautiful house on the lake. I close my eyes and picture the breeze.

"Me too." He says. My eyes shoot open and hes just looking at me. "Lets go."

I follow him down the corridors. Every stormtrooper we pass stops and backs up to the wall at attention. The feeling of power oozes into my skin alittle bit and I feel it tingle through my body. I push the feeling out.

'Its not something to be ashamed to feel'

Kylo tips his mask to the side so I can see just a hint of silver.

 _I dont want power. I want freedom._

My words wound him, I feel it. He thinks I am free, but we both know that is far from the truth. Especially now, under these circumstances I am under strict watch by him. I have longed for someone my whole life to take care of me, to nurture me when im sick or hurt. And ironically I found that someone burried deep beneath the man before me. I love Ben Solo, hes alive in there, I just know it. There is still light in him. We reach the hanger and at the bottom of his ramp to his ship is Cornelius. We reach them and Kylo ushers me to go in first and he will follow.

 _How am I suppose to join your side if you keep secrets._

He looks down at me and back at Cornelius.

"Go ahead." He says to him. Im shocked Kylo didn't argue and just allowed me to stand in. Im curious at what they are up to.

"We have tracked FN-2187. He is in a medical bay upon Ogem. It seems the Resistance has more than tripled their numbers in the past days. They have new recruits. The weapon wont be ready for a few months Sir. What would you suggest we do?" Cornelius stands attentive, hands behind his back. My heart speeds up and Kylo knows im shocked.

"Go back to Bespin. Continue monitoring. We dont have the number to attack yet. Patients." And Kylo turns toward the ship and stomps up the ramp. My eyes linger to long on Cornelius mask. I catch myself and turn and walk up, the ramp closing behind me. I go to sit with Kylo but hes standing up next to his seat.

"They..." I start but he cuts me off.

"We are not talking about this now." He yells. I can tell hes upset that Finns alive. My hands shoot to my stomach.

"He can still come for her. Are visions certain? Is she showing me things that are for sure going to happen?" I say. Shocked. I dont know why I didnt think of this before.

"I dont know." He says.

"How do you not know? Your suppose to be the best. Can I alter visions from happening?" I yell. I just want answers.

"My grandfather thought so." He says and sits down and starts the shuttle. He points to my seat for me to sit down so he can take off. I sit down and buckle up. Just ringing his last words in my head as his ship ventures out into dead space and soon all I see is the blue of the hyper speed.

"Did he change it?" I ask. Kylo unhisses his mask and set it on the ground before swiveling his seat to face me. He leans back and looks at me with worried eyes.

"No." He says. "But she is showing you points past that. Obviously something happens where we get here back. But he will never even get past the house. The vision doesn't show everything, only a little piece." His words dont make me feel better. I start crying into my hands.

"Oh.. my..y. goddd..." I sob. "Maybe you should have just killed him." I say. I cant believe my own words. But I will do anything to make sure my daughter is safe.

"Believe me, I'm going to. When the time is right." He says. The ship jumps out out hyperdrive and the glorious planet of Naboo comes into view. He swings over to the controls and the shuttle eases into the atmosphere and slowly the field comes into view and we land. Kylo is such a natural in controlling his ship. I could learn from him. We land and I follow Kylo for the next few hours through the woods. I had to stop and catch my breath a few times. Kylo is patient with me and I am thankful for that. When we get closer to the house I can feel Kylos anxiety quicken.

"Whats my surprise?" I ask when we get into the clearing where the boat is. He looks back and smiles wide at me.

"You will see." He says. I pout at him but oblige. I dip my hand in the water the whole way to the house. Enjoying the coolness. I am so happy to be here I cant stop smiling. The sun on my face and the birds in the sky.

"I want to have the baby here. Its perfect. I know the perfect room. Over there by the garden." I point up at a window overlooking a lake of flowers on the side of the mountain. Kylo is just looking at me smiling.

"Your beautiful." He says.

"Your handsome." I say, smiling and playfully splash some water at him. We reach the end of the dock and he ties the boat off. He climbs up onto the dock and helps me up. As soon as we get to the top of the stairs i'm startled by a voice.

"Master Ren. Lady Rey. Welcome back." A 3PO unit says. The female unit is a shiny rose gold color, with a tiny waist and wider hips. She is beautiful. I cover my mouth with both hands to silent my gasp. "I am Dalah." She bows. Her face is soft looking, her eyes big.

"I love her!" I shriek. I walk over to her and run my hand down her shiny soft metal.

"Good. Shes to help you when I am away." He says.

"Away?" I spin and look at him.

"Yes, sometimes I will have to leave for a few days at a time to secure situations. I am still needed up there." He says. He frowns as all the joy from my body dissolves.

"Like my vision..." I say. tears fill my eyes. Dalah turns and walks into the house. Her joints make small hisses as she moves.

"Rey, as much as I want to stay here with you. There are things I have to do. I am keeping that separate from you because I know you rather not know. Nothing is going to happen to you here. I promise. I have taken extra caution. No one will get close to here." He grabs the sides of my face and gives me a deep kiss. Slowly he pulls away. "I dont have to leave for awhile so dont worry." He pulls me into a tight hug.

"Im going to take a shower. I need to wash the First Order off me." I pull away and smile. His face lights up.

"I need a shower too." He says and scoops me up into his arms and carries me into the house up to the room. I know where this is going and I want it too.


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50: 30 weeks

I look in the mirror, standing to the side to get a view of my perfectly round belly. My long wavy brown hair flows down my back. There is no hiding this now. Not behind a cloak or layers of clothes. I drop my head back. 10 more weeks. I feel like a whale, my breast are at least a size bigger and fuller. The rest of me just as thin as ever. I grabbed a floor length, soft, thin light blue dress from the wardrobe. The dress wraps around my neck and falls in a triangle form till the fabric meets again on the low of my back. My whole back exposed and tickled by my hair. It's beautiful and comfortable. No fabric restricting my stomach.

I don't walk anymore, I waddle. I slowly creep down the stairs. I know Kylo is standing out on the porch, waiting for me. It's mid morning, the sun not high in the sky. He doesn't turn when I walk out to meet him. He is standing shirtless looking over the lake with his hands behind his back, his feet partially spread. I rub my stomach slightly and wait for his to turn around.

"Are you okay?" I ask. My hand resting on my belly. He doesn't turn around, I can tell he is bothered by something. I slowly walk over to him and place my other hand on his arm, rubbing it lightly. "What's wrong?" He finally looks down at me and raises his hand and runs his fingers along my jaw.

"Nothing, you should not worry." His face doesn't match his voice right now.

"You seemed worried." I state. He presses his lips together. These past two months here have been amazing. Just the two of us together. And Dalah, she's wonderful. I have tried not to think about Snoke or the First Order.

"I have to leave." He says, his words rip through my chest. He hasn't had to leave yet, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they needed him back. I was just hoping we would have more time.

"When?" I pout.

"Today." He says and retracts his hand from my face. He looks back to the water and his face is as solid as stone. I walk in front of him and wrap my arms around him. Embracing him, he needs comfort as much as I do. He returns by wrapping his arms around me but I know his eyes don't leave the water. My eyes water and I squeeze him tighter. "Hey hey," he puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls away from me, "please don't be upset."

I wipe the tears from my eyes with my fingers. "How long will you be gone for?" I say between tears still falling."

"Not long. I promise." He says. Dalah emerges from the inside.

"Breakfast Lady Rey?" She ask, her voice is sweet and mechanical. I have grown fond of her. I look around Kylo and nod my head, she proceeds back inside. I wiggle out of Kylos grasp and walk inside. I'm mad at him for leaving and mad at myself for feeling this way. I hear him follow behind me. I feel his hand on my back and then suddenly he is standing in front of me.

"Please don't be upset my love. I am surprised I haven't been called in sooner but there is a matter I need to oversee. Don't be upset, I don't want to leave you either." His other hand caresses my round belly and then wipes a tear from my cheek. "Your so beautiful. It pains me to see you this way. You have been so happy."

"Because I am so in love with you." I put my hands on his chest and run my fingers through the fine dark hairs on his sternum. "No First Order, no Stormtroopers, no Supreme Leaders, just me and you." I look up into his eyes.

"It is I who is so in love with you." He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. The motion gives me butterflies. Ana rolls in unison to the tingles throughout my body from Kylos touch.

She hasn't been showing me a lot of visions lately. She still won't let me touch her in any of them. Whenever I get close the vision ends. She has shown me a vision of her and Kylo swimming together in the lake. She must be 7. So beautiful, a face full of freckles and some missing teeth. Her long thick wavy black hair, glistening in the sun. Kylo looks aged some but he looks just as handsome as he does now. She swam over to me and as soon as I went to give her the towel I was back in the living room, 25 weeks pregnant and Kylo asleep in the chair across from me.

Another vision she was sitting in the tub, maybe 3 years old, and making waves with her hands. Not splashing waves but waves FROM her hands. I was mesmerized. I don't even know how to do that yet. I went to take her out the tub and I was back looking at the holodisc Kylo gave me of Darth Vader. I remember that day, I remember when my eyes laid apron his name, Anakin Skywalker, that I realized where the name Ana came from. At first I was uncomfortable, but then I realized that changing her name now would not change her blood. And that I knew why Kylo never fought me to change it. I told him that night that I made the connection and he smiled, proud that I finally connected the dots. There is so much to learn from these visions. She shows me how powerful she will be, but she also shows me what an amazing father Kylo will be. He has been at ease lately, watching the visions. He loves watching her. Sometimes it pains him because he knows he will have to leave us at times.

Kylo lets go of me and walks over to a cabinet by the dinning room wall. He opens a small drawer inside and pulls something out, to small for me to see from where I stand. I watch him carefully as he makes his way back to me. Curiosity peeks me.

"My grandfather gave this to my grandmother when he was a small boy. It was special to her. I want you to have it." He turns the little wooden carved object in his hand before dropping it around my neck. It hangs low, almost resting on the top of my belly. I hold it in my hand and inspect the little carvings and notice the nicks and imperfections of the engravings.

"Did he make this?" I look up at him and he nods. "I love it, thank you." I reach up on my tippy toes and give him a kiss. Before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. My belly almost to big for a decent hug anymore.

"What do you want to do today, I have a few hours. Whatever you want." He asks. There is one thing I want to ask him, and have for a few weeks now but am afraid. I start shaking at the anxiety I get from wanting to ask. "What?" He tilts his head.

"Can we go to the market?" I ask. "Nobody knows who you are. Or I can go alone. I just want to look around the city. I read it's beautiful. Please."

"Absolutely not. And you are to not go to the city when I leave. Is that clear?" He grabs my arms and pulls me in close. "Am I clear?" He says. His tone dark.

"Why!" I ask whinny. I can hear the high pitched echo to my voice.

"Because you are not putting yourself in harms way. End of discussion" he lets go of me and stomps into one of the adjoining rooms, out of view. I'll go, maybe not today but I will, I tell myself. I suck it up and follow him, not wanting to waste the last of our hours together fighting. When I enter the room he has a glass of the amber color liquid in his hand and is sitting in the chair.

"It's to early to be drinking, isn't it?" I ask, sitting across from him. It takes more effort to sit down and stand up. My back hurting more everyday.

"Never." His eyes narrow. "If you try and go out when I am not here Rey, there will be consequences. I will not have you risk yours and our Daughters life. It's not just you I am worried about." He downs his glass and summons Dalah for another one. I look at her worriedly. "Maybe I shouldn't leave."

"No. You need to go. If you don't they will question you and what if they come here." My hands shoots to my stomach. "Don't you trust me?" I tilt my head at him. He smiles wide and lets out a laugh and points his finger at me.

"Don't even do that. I know you." He laughs. He downs another glass and gets up and walks over to me and sits down. He puts his hand on my obnoxious belly. Rubbing small circles. He calls for another glass. Dalah is quick to oblige.

"She's really been active lately, rolling around and kicking my insides like crazy." I giggle. And put my hand on top of his. She kicks under us. "I can't wait to hold her." I sigh.

"I want her to stay in there as long as possible." He chuckles. He downs his whole glass and sets it on the table in front of us.

"Your not the one who is caring her. I want to be able to use the force without draining myself. It's horrible. I feel, restricted. How would I even wield a saber right now. Uuuugghhh, my back hurts!" I tilt my head back on his arm resting across the top of the couch. Kylo frowns at me.

"We'll take it easy when I'm gone. Stay in bed all day if you want. Take a hot bath. Please." He says. Rubbing my stomach still. My skin is tighter than usual feeling and my belly button just barley stays in. I roll my head to the side and look at him.

"Do you have any more good holodiscs I can read?" I ask. His hand stops and he looks at me.

"I have a few. What are you looking for?" He asks. Curious.

"I want to know more about your grandmother." I say. He half smiles and slips his arm out and leaves the room. I hear him ask Dalah for another glass.

 _Do you plan on getting drunk?_

'Maybe'

As I wait for him I fumble with the necklace, I want to know more about it. He comes back in the room with a full glass and a white holodisc in his hand.

"Her name was Padme. She was beautiful, like you." He smiles at me and hands me the disk. "It's a shame she died so young." His face sad.

"How did she die?" I play with the gold disc in my hand.

"That's the mystery though. In the records of the Sith, it is said my grandfather killed her in a fit of rage when he turned to the dark side. But when I found the records to this place..." He shifts his body and looks across the room, his body uncomfortable. "It is said she died because she lost the will to live. A broken heart." He looks at me.

"Like I will if you get killed by the Resistance." All the color drains from my face.

"That won't happen. I promise." He says.

"Even though I'm worried about that still happening, believe me. I'm more worried about who would take care of Ana if something happened to the both of us. This bond. Oh.. Kylo. How did we not think of this!" I stand up and walk to the arch that connects this room to the main dinning room ares. Kylo stands up and catches my wrist wiping me around to look at him.

"That is not going to happen." He says sternly. "Just take my word for it."

"I think we should tell someone, have a black up plan." I say. He looks at me its disgust and slices his hand though the air.

"Absolutely not!" He yells and turns around towards the table, he runs his hand through his hair and turns around to face me again.

"What about Poe Dameron? He knows, he's trustworthy. I can find him and ask him." Kylo takes a step forward and grabs my arms.

"Don't you ever speak of this again." He says. His voice as dark as night, sending chills through my body. He walks around me into the main room and listen as his footsteps go up the stairs before going to pic up the gold holodisc off the couch. I turn and go look for Dalah. I find her in the kitchen making lunch.

"Lady Rey, would you like some teá?" She is always so polite. I think that's what I love most about her.

"Yes, please. Can I have an apple too." I go and sit by the small table overlooking the lake. I stare out the window with my hand resting on my stomach and the other on the arm of the soft chair, propping my head up. I sense Kylos anger from her.

"Here you go miss. Can I get you anything else?" She asks.

"Hmm, noo, I think I'm okay for now. Thank you Dalah." I say and smile at her. She leaves me in the kitchen alone. I take a bite of the apple and set the holodisc on the table and stare at it. I'm waiting till Kylo leaves to open it. A sudden shadow in the doorway startles me. I jump up and grab my chest, almost chocking on the apple. Kylo is dressed in full armor, except his mask. Which is perched between his arm and side. He hasn't worn this attire in eight weeks. It's strange to see him so... Dark. He rushes to my side and rubs my back.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He says softly. I stand up from the chair. Kylo helps me after noticing my slow movements.

"It's okay." I put my hand on his chest. Leaving the holodisc for later reading. "Are you leaving now?" His change of clothes confuses me. He said he had to leave at night.

"The sooner I leave the sooner I can come back." He says. He touches my jawline and then runs his leather gloved hand down my bare arm. He grabs my wrist and leans in to kiss me, setting his helmet on the table behind me. His hand sprawls out on my back and pulls me in to deepen the kiss. I don't want him to leave yet. He pulls away and grabs my hand leading me out to the patio area. He turns and grabs my other hand to clasp them both between his large hand. "I'll be back before you know it." He says. Shifting his helmet in his arm. He seems uncomfortable.

"At least I have Dalah to keep me company." I smile up at him. He shrugs his shoulder.

"No one knows your here. You are safe. I won't be to far." He sounds worried. His tone gentle. He lets go of my hands to tuck a flying hair behind my ear. Sending goosebumps through my body. I rest my hands on my stomach and frown at him, looking down at my growing ball.

"What if someone does come... What, what do I do?" I ask him. He hesitates for a minute before going back into the house, leaving me on the patio. I walk over to one of the columns and lean against it, waiting for Kylo to come back. His hand on my shoulder startles me. In his hand he has my lightsaber.

"Just use this. But I assure you, your safe here." He smiles down at me and I take my saber from him. "I love you my sweet Rey." He gives me a final kiss and walks down the stairs to the dock. I turn and walk inside. To upset to watch him leave.

 ****goodmorning everyone! sorry i took the weekend off with my boys. we enjoyed the nice summer weather. I hope you enjoy this chapter, things will heat up again soon. I promise xxx -SSL ****


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51: 32weeks Along

I lay on a small bench on the patio, I have been waiting in this house for two weeks with no sign of Kylo, he keeps pushing me out just enough that I don't dare to push back, trying to keep his work and me separate but able to sense if I'm in danger. He has not said one word to me. Nor answered anything I have said. I'm not sure he can even hear me.

"Miss, you should try laying upstairs. It would better for your back. I will bring you a snack." Dalah says as she approaches me slowly. She is such a pleasant droid to be around. Always so sweet. I slowly push myself up.

"Your right, no use waiting here." I rise to my feet and drag myself up the stairs and into bed. My long thin satin nightgown clinging to my protruding round belly. The matching robe hanging over each side. I sigh and lay down facing the wall. Ana rolls and kicks at my rib, most uncomfortably. Dalah enters with some tea and my favorite green grapes.

"Is there anything else I can get for you miss?" She asks. I sit up in bed and take the tea from her and plop a grape in my mouth.

"Any fruit would be wonderful." I say at her and smile. She nods and leaves the room. I finish my tea and grapes and lay back down. I fall asleep waiting for Dalah to come back.

A sudden shift in the force startles me awake. I sit up in bed, covered in sweat. I pull the covers off me and walk over to the balcony to get some fresh air. Grabbing my stomach as it tightens a little to my sudden fast movements. I feel a presence coming, it feels like Kylo but I can tell in the back of my mind that he's asleep. I grab my robe off the ground and pull it on, slowly making my way down the stairs. It's dark out, the stars twinkle bright. In the middle of the dining room in a figure standing with their back to me looking out over the pier. It wears a thick brown cloak. I can't see their face, I feel Deja"vu from Ach'To. A light in the corner slowly brightens as I enter down the stairs.

"Can... I help.. You..." I stutter. I don't have my saber near me but I don't feel threatened by this mysterious person. The cloaked statue turns around.

"General Organa?" I stop on the stairs. My heart stops, my body breaks out in a sweat. She lowers her hood and her eyes are wide, staring at my prominent belly.

"So it is true." Her words sting me, her voice not friendly but worried. Her face looks as though she has aged ten years in the last one.

"How did you find me?" I ask. Slowly making my way down the stairs to the bottom step. "No one way suppose..."

"It's not safe for you to be here." She says worridly.

"But I don't want to be rescued." I look at her. As my words register to her her posture straitens and her face twists.

"You want to stay here?" She asks. She takes another step closer to me. "Do you honestly think he won't kill that baby once it's born? He isn't my son anymore, there is to much Vader in him... He won't stop at anything to be powerful. Look what he did to my Han." She reaches her hand out for me but I shy away and walk over to the other side of the main dining room.

"You need to leave." I say. "You need to leave and never come back. Once he finds out your here... You won't be safe. Please leave." I grab my stomach and rub it slightly to mirror where Ana keeps kicking. "I am fine here."

"You don't understand..." She starts but I am quick to interrupt her.

"No, you don't understand. I don't know why you came. I'm sorry, I am not going anywhere. Nothing you say or do will change that. Its my fault all of you get hurt or die. Look at Fin!" I'm getting all hot and sweaty. I feel a tug at the bond, Kylo stirs in his sleep. My emotions triggering his.

"I thought you would say that. Fin is alive, stable and alive." Poe emerges from behind the patio wall, he must of been waiting on the steps for a que to come in. My hands shoot to my mouth. I feel to underdressed. Much to underdressed. His eyes widen when he fully absorbs what he is looking at. I want to run and hug him but I just want to run and hide.

I feel Kylo startle awake at the realization of my situation. He's speechless and unfocused. Still in a sleepy daze.

'How did they...'

 _I dont know_

He flushers out of bed and is getting dressed.

'There's more of them outside.'

His ultimate power never stops amazing me. He can sense my surroundings from across the galaxy. I can't even sense what's in front of me quite yet.

"How many of you are there?" I ask the General, generals...

"Enough, we had to be prepared in case he had you under security." Hesays. His voice is so calm.

"Miss, may I suggest you sit down, you don't look so well. I will bring you some tea." Dalah says from next to me. I smile kindly at her and sit at the kitchen table in the farthest seat from Fin and General Organa.

"Kylo already knows your here. If you don't leave now, I can't stop him from what he will do. Please Poe, for me. Leave. I thought I wanted to help you... But then you only wanted me for my powers to use them against the First Order. I don't want to use them against anyone!" I slam my fist on the table.

"Look what he did to you! Keeping you trapped here like an animal... Your bearing his spawn!" I stand up, focusing my eyes on Fin. His words making my ears ring.

'Stop, you know what the traitor says isn't true. Someone will be there soon to help you.'

His words don't make sense. _Someone? Soon? But my..._

'Just do as your told.'

I sit down, holding my belly tight with my left hand. Ana is super active. My saber is upstairs next to my bed. Why did I not grab it.

"We are not prisoners here." I say.

"Do you think that beast loves you?" Poe face twists in disgust.

"We can help you, hide you and the child." General Organa interrupts.

"Enough. Please..." I start to persuade them to leave but a sonic boom echos in the sky above the house. I rise to my feet, someone is here but I can't tell who. Through the patio beems a ship lowers and hovers over the water. Creating constant waves under the belly of the ship just feet above the water. I can't see much other than that, it's to dark. General Organa and Fin draw their weapons and aim at the mysterious vessel hovering over the water. The door opens and fire opens from all over. There must be men everywhere around the house, I can't count the number of beams flying towards the light of the doorway. I don't even realize what I'm looking at.

 _What's happening?_

'I sent Arsland to get you'

 _But..._

'Just do what he says'

Arsland's ship is close enough for him to jump out to the deck below. He jumps out. General Organa and Fin gave me one final pleading look. But I run up the stairs to shield from what I'm about to see. I shut the door behind me and start to cry. I cover my mouth with my hands to muffle my sobs, it takes me a few seconds to compose myself. I grab my cloak from the back of the door and wait on the bed. I hear blasters and the rumble of some engines in the hills behind the house. Someone screams and I cover my ears.

After a few minutes the door to the room opens and the tall knight walks in, but something is off. He's holding his side and leaning.

"Rey, Please come with me." I feel embarrassed. Did he know I was pregnant. This is most awkward and not who I pictured coming through that door, and the thought makes my stomach hurt.

"Are you hurt?" I walk over to him. My cloak can't close around my stomach anymore.

"Nothing I can't handle. Please, We must leave. Ren is expecting us." He says. Even through his black clothes I can see red pouring out.

"You should bandage that first, your loosing alot of blood." I say, pointing to his wound. I can't see his facial expression behind his mask. "The General?" I look up at him with pleading eyes. He tilts his head to the side, he must be confused of why I would ask such a thing.

"The woman in the cloak and her companion managed to escape just as I was wounded. Ren will not be pleased with that." His mechanical voice echoes. It's a different sound than Kylos. Arsland's voice not as deep.

My inner self is smiling and jumping up and down.

"We need to leave." He says and turns around heading down the hallway and down the stairs. I grab a thin pair of black shoes from the floor and follow. It's still exhausted.

"Stop" I say to him just as he's almost out of view as I reach the bottom of the stops and looks back. He is much broader than Kylo but he is not as intimidating. I'm sure Kylo made a point to make his mask the most alluring. I quickly walk into the kitchen and quickly give Dalah a hug. I'm going to miss her.

"I promise Dalah, I'll be back before the baby comes, can you keep everything in order for me." I know she is only a droid and can't really understand human compassion, but I like to believe she can.

"I promise Miss." She says, I walk back out to the main center dining room and over to the patio. The air cool and crisp. I follow Arsland down the stairs but stop when I'm standing above a dead Resistance member, I cover my gasp and gape at the scene I front of me.

"We don't have time to stop, please." Arsland says from in front of me. I walk around whoever the poor dead man is who lost his life because of me. I follow Arsland onto his ramp to his hovering ship. It's small inside, just two seats but enough room to walk around. He sits in the main seat. Staring at me till I sit down, the door closes and we take off to dead space. Once there we shoot into hyperdrive. Sleep becoming more and more overwhelming as I watch the sloom of blue lights passing through the window. Arsland does not speak and I don't dare try to conversate. Soon the ship pushes out of hyperspeed and the beautiful gas planet of Bespin comes into view.

Arsland looks my way but back out the window quickly. The view of descending on this planet overwhelms me each time. Flying through the bright white fluffy clouds. I see Kylos house in the distance, his ship proped perfectly in the middle of his landing deck. Arslands ship small enough to fit on the pad along sice Kylos. As soon as we touch down I see the doors to his home open and there he is, just in running distance instead of across the universe from me. Arsland gets up and walks behind me to open the ramp. I watch as Kylo slowly walks over to our ship. I struggle alittle to pull myself out of my seat. I slowly walk down the ramp and around the ship, as soon as Kylo sees me he quickens his pace and at first he only touches my elbows, looking at me up and down through his helmet. Then he embraces me in a tight hug. I bury my head into him. He embraces me tightly back, almost to tight but Iv missed him.

"Not a word to anyone." Kylo ushes to Asland above my head.

"Yes sir." And I hear Arslands ship rumble on and take off.

 **** Okay so it took me longer than i thought to write this chapter, I was getting stuck on where to go because I didnt want the boring chapters to follow of her all alone waiting for him, so I scratched those and went to here. But now that Arsland knows (can he be trusted), and General Organa is back... whats going to happen.**

 **Someone in reviews suggested twins... hmmmm ;) ****


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Decisions

Once inside Kylos dark home in the clouds, he removes his mask and throws it on the couch before twirling me around to grab my face and kiss me. I kiss him back, holding onto his arms for steadiness. He lets me go and presses his forehead against mine.

"I was worried." He says quietly.

"Why didnt you come? Why him?" I ask. Closing my eyes, soaking in his scent.

"Because he was closer. I was in the middle of something." He says.

"This is so confusing." I sigh, pulling away from him. "I am running from Snoke, from anyone finding out. Now Arsland knows. Are you sure you can trust him? He was bleeding so bad, will he be okay?"

"He will be fine." He says. "He is my most trusted Knight, he wont say anything. I assure you, he knows better than to cross me."

"You didn't answer me or talk to me for two weeks. Two weeks..." I whisper the last part.

"Im sorry, Its better to keep some things separate from you right now." He says. I grimace at thoughts of what he could possibly hide, what Dark tales. "I could feel you..." He says.

"Your mother looks worried. She only came to help... She is still your mother. Our child's grandmother." I can't control my emotions right now. My fingers tremble. Im just trying to make sense of the last few hours, sleep weighing heavily on my eyelids. All I want to do it have him hold me, I have missed him so much. But I can't keep running from both sides. "And you should of let me handle it! I wouldn't have went with them. I want to be with you! " I said. "What now huh?" I sob into my hands.

"Enough!" He yells. I jump, stifling my sobs and wide eyes looking at him. "Do not talk about her." His voice booming in the round room. "You don't think I know that! You don't think I realize every damn day how much closer we are till that baby gets here. You don't think I know what is at risk. I have been here trying to keep the Resistance at bay and here they are chasing you." He says. I ball my little hand up.

"I am done arguing with you. I am to exhausted I can barley stand, thank you..." I snort, "You are so obtuse." I spin around and head towards the stairs. But Kylo marches over and grabs my arm. "Let me go. I am done talking to you."

"I am not done with you." His eyes stare deep into mine. "You are not alone in this, you may feel like you are but you are not. You and me are in this together, I would never let anything happen to you. Stop acting like you are fighting this battle alone." His words ring in my ears. His heart pounding in my cheat along with mine. He lets go of my arm but doesn't stop staring at me.

"Well I feel like I am!" I yell. I push memories of the last two weeks into his mind. Me walking in meadow alone, looking up at the sky and waiting for him, waiting for anything from him in the back of my mind. Sometimes I would count his heartbeats just to feel close to him. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I had been alone for so long on Jakku that the comfort of someone now known to me, makes me feel even more alone when he's gone. I show him me crying myself to sleep because I'm scared to have this baby. I'm scared I'll raise it alone. Everything I had to contemplate the last few weeks and had time to think about while my stomach grew bigger everyday. I pushed my final thought into his head, me... standing on the balcony overlooking the lake towards the field he would come back home too. And stand there, for hours. The mistress of the Dark Lord... The idea makes me shutter as I pull out of his mind.

"I..." He starts but I feel the warm liquid fall down my lip as his eyes look away from mine and down. A sharp pain jabs my side and I grab it and hiss at the pain. Kylo reaches for me but I step back.

"Leave me alone." I hiss.

"I'm calling the doctor." He walks past me to the panel on the wall and punches in a few numbers, before mumbling something into it. He turns his attention back to me. My side erupts into a burning sensation and makes me fall to my knees. I groan at the unusual pain. Kylo is behind me lifting me to my feet and leading me to the couch.

"Its all your yelling and what did I tell you about the force? It isn't good for you or the baby. That's why I tell you not to worry. Just lay here for a minute. The doctor will be here in soon." Once I'm laying down on my side he kneels down in front of me. He runs his finger over my top lip and his other hand rests over my stomach. His touch is warm and comforting but the pain isn't subsiding. His other hand reaches up and his fingers rub my scalp inside my hair. Darkness quickly overwhelms me.

* * *

I wake up to muffled voices. They get louder as I come to. I try and sit up but my focus isn't back yet. I feel like I just went 10 round with the electroblade. A warm hand is on my shoulder and a voice is in my ear.

"Lay back down." Kylos calm voice says. I do as I'm told. Rubbing my temple slightly. My head throbbing.

"What do you mean?" Kylo snears from far away it sound like.

"The babies are fine, she is fine. Her vitals are stable. I suggest no further stress. Her body is fragile as it is." The familiar voice of the Doctor says. I keep my eyes close as the words swirl around in my head. When I come back to the word "babies" I sit strait up. Kylo and the doctor and at the end of the couch both shoot their heads to me. Kylos arms are crossed, his eyebrows creased. My vision is slightly blurry still, I grab the side of my head to steady myself.

"Babies?" I choke the word out.

"I'm sorry miss, seems I have made a mistake in my last visit. If I would have been allowed more access to you. I would have been able to detect this early on." He says. I look down at my stomach. Why can't I see another child in them. Is she only showing me her?

"I don't believe you." I say to them. I stand up, swaying alittle. Kylo steps forward but stops when I put my hand up. I want to do something myself. "Let me see." I notice the doctor is still holding the same tiny tablet as last time. He looks at Kylo and he nods. Slowly he creeps towards me and hands me the tablet. My free hand shoots to my mouth and I have to sit back down.

I'm looking at two babies now, their little faces look like actual little faces. I bring my hand down and trace their little noses, their faces so similar but I can see subtle differences. A tear escapes my face and lands on the screen.

"Two..." I say out loud. Kylo walks around and sits down next to me.

"A boy..." He says.

"I don't understand... How did you miss this?... How did I miss this?" I look up at the green skinned man. Dr. Greken's face tense with worry. "Two Kylo... What are we going to do?" Tears streaming down my face.

"It explains why your so easily drained. You Rey, carry two of the most powerful force sensitive beings to be ever live... You just don't understand... now... There are 3 of you I must protect." He says. He grabs my hand and squeezes it quick before getting up and excuses the Doctor to his ship. The door shuts and we are alone. My hands rub my stomach.

"Two..." I whisper. "Who are you little boy? Why are you hiding from me?" I question my stomach, no wonder I thought Ana was so active. Now it's Ana and Baby B. I'm speechless. Kylo is still facing the door when I look up, his head down. He looks over to me as soon as I rise from my spot. He turns and just glares at my stomach. It makes me uncomfortable.

"I can't say I'm upset, because the idea of having a successor thrills me." He says.

"No child of mine will ever be a sith!" I yell back. I regret it as soon as I say it because Kylos face darkens, his eyes blacken with anger. I can feel it soar through me.

"They are not just your children. They are also mine. Don't forget that." He stomps towards me but stops half way. "My son will follow in my footsteps, something I had planned for our daughter, but now... Now there is a heir to the throne of Knights." His voice proud, booming. He's so thrilled that it sickens me.

"And if I don't allow it?" I say to him.

"You will." He closes the gap between us. He squats down in front of me to be face to stomach with my belly. My mind still trying to wrap around the idea of two babies. I look back down at the little screen. He reaches his hand up, slowly this time. He caresses my stomach with both hands. "Wow... Two."

"I can't stay here Kylo."

"The doctor said to rest. Now that they will most likely come earlier that expected." He stands up and walk around the couch towards the kitchen running his hand through his hair. I take a deep breath and stand up to follow him, grabbing him by the elbow and slowing him down. He stops but doesn't look at me.

"I love you. I don't want to be without you. Isn't there something you can do? Kill Snoke or something?" I say. Just trying to figure out what is the best option for us. And it seems the biggest problem is Snoke. "What's the worst thing that can happen?" I say to him. He stiffens and turns, his eyes narrow at me and he steps out of my hold on his elbow. He clears his throat and points awkwardly at me.

"Are you suggesting I kill Supreme Leader? You severely underestimate him. He would kill me in a heartbeat and then you, and then..." He looks down at my stomach and then back at me, "Absolute death, no mercy." He says. He isn't saying...nooooooo.

"Why not?"

"He will kill me." Kylo whispers.

"There must be some weakness he has. You have been with him how long. He did not once tell you something that weakens him?" I ask. He still isn't saying no.

"You have no idea what your asking Rey. This is not just someone you turn against and are forgiven. Drop it." He says. He turns and walks away. I snort and cross my arms. I stomp over to the stairs and glance at him. He's hanging over his desk. Palms flat against the top. I sigh and walk up the stairs to shower and change.

After I find a pair of my sweatpants and one of Kylos shirts, I get cozy in bed. I stare out the one open blind at the clouds, watching them slowly pass by. I need to figure out what to do. I move my hand down to my stomach. Two babies... Two... What will I name him? Oh I bet he will be so handsome, like his father. No doubt. I can't wait to see them and hold them. The longer they stay in the better. I hear heavy footsteps pound up the stairs. My heart quickens and I struggle up in bed to sit and face him when he reaches the top. He doesn't look at me, he grabs some clothes and heads into the bathroom.

 _So your mad at me?_

'I'm just trying to figure things out'

I fall back in bed and sigh. Just waiting for him to get out of the shower. I start crying, tears flowing down my cheeks. I'm so overwhelmed. I cover my eyes with my hands and sob. Is this real life. I feel a warm hand pushing my hands way from my eyes.

"When I'm not near you, I feel hollow. Empty. I'm not use to it. Forgive me if I come off as... Protective. But you are the most important thing I have." He's shirtless, in the pants I love. Hovering over me with sincere eyes. I could get lost in those eyes.

"I'm scared." I sniffle and more tears flow out.

"I know you are Love, but I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Alright?" He says.

"What are you going to do." I say. My voice shakes.

"Anything necessary." His eyes narrow. "I'm going to kill The Supreme Leader." He pulls away and eases off the bed and starts pacing the room. Rubbing his chin. I sit up and wide eyed look at him.

"But you said he will kill you." I wipe my face with my hands. He stops and looks at me. His profile looks so... Alluring... In the shadow of the soft light.

"I'm willing to die to protect you." He says. And starts pacing again.

"What will happen to me if..." I stop, I don't want to think about Kylo dieing.

"You need to go back to the Resistance." He says. My heart stops. I slowly slide off the bed and walk over to him.

"What are you talking about?" I say.

"If something happens to me, they will protect you from the First Order. If I succeed I will come back for you. You will know where to find me." He grabs my elbows. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "It's the only way. My mother won't allow harm to come to you and those babies." He opens his eyes, his face softens and he reaches up and strokes my cheek.

"I don't want to leave you. I can't." I whisper. Holding back tears.

"There is no other way. I love you to much to allow something to happen to you, to our children." He says. I try and think about what he is saying. I pull away and walk around in circles. Stopping and looking down at my growing belly. I can't see my feet. I run my hands around my bump. I need to think about them. I need to protect them. I look over to him.

"How long?" I say. I'm hoping just a few days.

"I don't know. I need time... Time to figure out a plan. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I want to make sure I can live through it." He says. "Obviously."

"I don't want you to miss the birth." I say.

"I'll be happy that your even alive to give birth." He says, he's raising his voice but not enough to make me think iv upset him.

"When." I choke.

"Tomorrow." He sighs. "I'm going to take you to the lake house and you will contact them from there to get you. I will say the captured you... To buy me time." He walks away from me, covering his face.

"I... I... I can't believe your going to do this. What if I never see you again?" I walk over and reach up and touch his shoulder. He slowly turns. Tears running down his face.

"It's a chance we need to take. To ensure they are safe. You are safe." He says. "I need you far away from here, but also protected. My Knights can't protect you. If something happens to me, Supreme Leader will order them to turn. I... I..." I reach up and wipe a falling tear with my thumb. He is so vulnerable right now. "I... I can't bare to think of one of them killing you."

 _This can't be real life._

"But if you die... The bond..." My mind shoots back to the bond.

ONE BY THE HAND OF THE ENEMY, ONE BY A BROKEN HEART

"Your heart can't be broken when you will be filled with two more to love. I don't believe that." He says. He wraps his hand around my neck. His hand warm. He pulls me in for a slow kiss, it's warm and deep. I feel his love, his worry, his pain, his sorrow, his emptiness. I feel his need to protect me. A lasting kiss. His other hand fall to my side and pulls me in till my stomach hits his. His thumb brushing along my jaw. I pull away.

"Your grandmother died of a broken heart. Am I going to end up like her? My children separated." I say, I choke on my words. "She lost the will to live. If you die..." I clutch my chest, a hollow feeling fills me, an aching hole.

"So you did read it all...You need to push on. For them." He says. He pulls me slightly till the back of his calves hit the bed. He sits down in front of me. His head in front of my stomach. He lifts my shirt up and stairs at my big round stomach. I watch his eyes flicker around and he slowly lifts his hand to each side of my stomach. He closes his eyes and leans his head forewords and rests it on top of my bump. We stay like this for awhile, in silence. I start swaying at how tired my limbs are. Kylo catches on and pushes me back alittle to stand up. He steps to the side and in one swift action scoops me into his arms and sets me down. I'm still really light to him. He lays behind me and puts his hand around my chest and his other under my pillow. Pulling me close. He runs slow kisses down my neck and nudges me with his nose. Tears slowly falling from my eyes and I fall fast asleep in his warmth.

 **** Hi everyone! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and where the story is going, things are about to speed up a little and might slow back down. I'm sad I'm making the, split, but it's necessary. To move forward with my plannnnnnnnns. 😊**

 **P.s. Would love some boy name ideas 😊**

 **Thank you for all the reviews! I love themmm all!****


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53: Going Back

I look at the stairs leading up to the patio. We are standing on the deck below the lake house in the early sunset. He took Arslands shuttle so we could make it right up to the deck. I dont think I could walk that hike here.

"Do I have to go back? What will I even tell them?" I take one pleading look at Kylo. "Please, I can't bare the thought of never seeing you again. I should of never suggested that you do this..." Tears polling in my eyes. I reach up and touch his arm. He turns and swings around to stand in front of me. He puts his hands around my upper arms and hold me still. His face reads of sadness and guilt.

"Tell them you escaped and you want to get far away from the First Order. I hate to admit it but my mother will keep you as far away from me as possible." He sighs. "I need you to know something." He looks down at the necklace that rests just above my stomach. He takes it in his hand and examines it. His eyes look back into mine. "No matter what happens, I want you to know how much I love you." He lets go of the necklace. And reaches up and cups my cheek in his hand. I close my eyes and lean into his touch. I inhale his sent, musky and sweet.

"I already know you love me." I say. I open my eyes. He is looking at me like I'm the only thing in existence at the very moment.

"Will you marry me?" he whispers.

My heart skips a few beats and I clutch my chest. He smiles, my heart just melts at that smile.

"I love you, this is me showing it." he says. He takes my hands into his and holds them tight. Looking down on me. How can I say no?

"Yes." I smile. He lets go of my hands and grabs my face, he kisses me deep, smiling behind it. He pulls away.

"Come." He pulls my hand and leads me up the stairs. At the top i'm shocked to see a man dressed in black robes standing in the middle of the patio. Around his neck, hangs a cross. "Father Arthur, Rey." Klyo motions his hand to me. The man bows and smiles.

"Pleasure." The man says. His hair as white as snow, his face wrinkly and old. He slouches a little due to his age. Kylo looks down to me.

"Dalah is inside. Why dont you go shower and change if you want. Ill be right here. Waiting for you, take all the time you need." He smiles and kisses my hand. I tilt my head to the side and smile. I walk around him. Dragging my hand across his chest. I walk past him and call for Dalah, she emerges from the kitchen. I tell her to grab some fruit and orange juice and meet me upstairs. I walk quickly up the stairs and shower as fast as I can. When I come out into the room Dalah is waiting for me, my food and drink set on the vanity. I dry myself off with the towel and walk over to the large wardrobe doors and pull them open. I drag my hands across the dresses till I come across a light pink and white one. It long and soft. I pull it off and look at it to examine if it would fit over my large bump.

It strapless sweetheart neckline dress with matching fluffy cuff sleeves. Under the bust is a pink ribbon that ties in the lower back, most of my back exposed. The front of the dress free flowing so it will cover over my bump. I pull it on. Perfect fit. I take a glance in the mirror. Its perfect because it simple and light. Ill look like a whale in anything with this bump.

"Would you like me to brush your hair miss? While you eat." Dalah says. I grab the food and sit down, She carefully brushes my hair and I scarf the food down. After she is does, I stand up and fluff my fingers around in my hair to cause waves and I take one more look in the mirror. And slowly make my way downstairs. My heart racing, Kylos too. When I see him, standing next to the Father, changed into clean black robes... his Ren attire without his helmet... I cant help but love his dark side as much as his light side. I accept him as everything he is.

I walk slowly over to him, he grabs my hands and kisses my cheek.

'You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on'

I feel my face turn red and I shy away.

"My sweet love, im trapped in your love.  
Iv opened up, I have let you in.  
Now my heart is free, No buried in pure Dark anymore.  
You freed me Rey.  
Your all I need, And walking away tonight.  
I will forever suffer till I see you again.  
Your are the beauty in the universe.  
And forever I will be true to you.  
Till my dieing breath I will fight for you.  
For our son, for our daughter.

For Us."

Kylos vows melt my heart. Every words sending a warm feeling though me. Hes confessing his love for me. So sincere. So pure.

"You were always the shadow to my light  
Before I even knew you existed I was drawn to you  
I confess I was weak before I met you  
One look at you,my whole life makes sense  
I cant believe its true sometimes,  
That I get to love you, Its the best thing I will ever do  
Its a promise I will make to you that whatever comes,  
I will never stop loving you  
I promise Ill never leave  
Whatever may come...  
Your heart I will choose  
Remember this moment with me

I love you." I vow myself to Kylo. As I never want to vow myself to another man. If Kylo dies, I will die the widow of the Dark Lord.

"I know pronounce you husband and wife." The father says, Kylo embraces me in a long hard kiss. a stray tear escapes my eye. He pulls away and looks at Father Arthur.

"You may leave now." Kylo narrows his eyes. The Father nods and walks away, and down the stairs.

"That was rude." I say.

"I want to make love to my wife. I dont care who finds me RUDE." HE says. He steps to the side and scoops me up into his arms. "You are still so light. Far to light." Kylo says.

Kylo walks up the steps and lightly sets me on the bed. and steps back.

"You looks so beautiful." He says, his face soft. "You dont know how happy this makes me. You, my wife."

"Was this your plan all along. Seduce me, knock me up, marry me?" I laugh. I roll on my side. My head resting on my arm.

"No. But I think things worked out pretty well anyways." He laughed. He removed everything except his pants and crawled in next to me. He ran his hands over my exposed neck and shoulders. He leans in and kissed me tenderly. moving his hand down my side, slowly scrunching up my dress with his hands to revile my soft legs. He pushes his hand under my dress over my stomach. Im on my side just looking at him.

"I dont want you to leave." I say. He hand stops moving and his eyes flick to mine.

"believe me, I dont want to. But it needs to be done, and I need to know your protected." He leans in and kisses me, moving his hand down and slowly reaching in between my thighs and runs his thumb across underwear. I part my lips to let in some air but instead his tongue invades the space. He shifts and pulls away. He swings over me to spoon my from the back, kissing my exposed neck and back. I close my eyes a feel goosebumps prickles on my skin. I feel him smile on my skin and continue trailing down my arm till he reaches the cuff. He drags his fingers up my leg and stops at the hem of my underwear, slowly skimming him fingers along the edges. Teasing.

"I love you." He whispers in my ear.

"And I you." I say and turn my upper body to look back at him. He is smiling. He kisses me deep, the awkwardness of my belly making this an awkward debacle. He moans against my lips and pulls away. My body aching for his touch.

"Rey. For now... I think it's best I sever our connection."

"Wait what? You can't? I thought... I thought that was impossible." I say, his words take all the breath out of me.

"Till we meet again my love." And he waves his hand next the side of my face and everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up in a cold sweat, laying in the wood bed of my room. I sit up and I feel off. I feel empty. I look down to my large stomach and I run my hands over my face and down my neck. I stop above my heart... Just my heartbeat.

No Kylo, no heartbeat, no extra feelings. It's all me. I break out in a heart wrenching sob. I run to the balcony.

"KYLO!" I scream at the sky. "Nooooo!" I sink to my knees. My heart feeling like it was ripped out by someones bare hands. "Kyyyyy loooo...ooo...oo." I wale into my hands.

He's gone.

I heave in and out for what seems like hours, crying on the balcony looking at the sky. My heart feels like it's giving out... My soul ripped in two. I have never felt this empty pain before, it's new to me... I have never felt more alone that this very moment. It feels like he's already dead. I sob even more. I cry on the balcony until the sun rises, I watch it change into different colors and it comes over the horizon. Tears falling down a continuous stream down my face. After alittle while I get to hot and go inside. On the nightstand next to the bed I spot a transmitter with a little note. I walk over slowly and pick the note up. In fine penmanship are words handwritten by Kylo, I have never seen his handwriting before. It has the transmitting number for the Resistance and a small note.

I'll always be with you even when you don't think I am. -Your Husband

I stare at the scribed note and a stray tear lands on the paper. I have no idea how I am going to do this. I pick up the transmitter and weigh it in my hands, shaking. I punch in the numbers and a image of a resistance member flickers in front of me.

"How did you get these coordinates ma'am? Who are you?" The strange man says.

"Rrrr...Rey from Jakku. I need to speak to General Organa. Please." The mans face drains of all its color and it's almost as though the hologram freezes. I sniffle and wipe my nose with the back of my hand.

"One moment." And the hologram flickers off. I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for the man to come back. I clutch my aching chest waiting for them to answer back. I set the transmitter back on the table. I'm still in my black pants and Kylos shirt. The realization makes my stomach hurt. The transmitter blinks back on and General Organa's face comes into view.

"Rey! Your alive! I sure that knight was going to kill you. How did you get this information. Where are you? What's wrong?" She says.

"I need your protection." I say, choking through my words. "Will you come get me from the lake house. No one will attack you, I'm alone." I look into the holograms eyes.

"Be there soon." And the hologram flickers off. I lay down in bed and cling to a pillow. I cry into it, squeezing it tight to me. "Kyyyyllloooo" I cry into it. Passing out from pure exhaustion.

* * *

A shake on my shoulder wakes me up, "Kylo?" I say, slowly opening my eyes. But it isn't Kylo... My heart sinks and I erupt into tears at the sight of General Organa. I sit up and wrap my arms around her. She just hold me back, not asking questions or prying. But just comforting me. I squeeze her tighter and just cry.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay." She says, I burry my face in her shoulder. She's running her hand through my hair and down my back.

"I need your help." I say. She pulls away.

"Anything Rey, anything my sweet girl." She says. "Let's get you out of here." She proceeds to stand up but I grab her arm and pull her back down.

"General..." I whisper. She sits back down and just looks at me. I put my hand over my stomach and rub it. Looking at the round ball in my lap.

"Leia, call me Leia." She says.

"I just found out that they're twins." Her eyes widen at my words.

"JUST FOUND OUT! Has my son not given you ANY medical attention!" She is upset.

"Well..." I start.

"It will be okay, everything is okay. Thank you for calling me. After our last meeting..." She stops herself. She shakes her head and takes my hand and we proceed to leave the lake house. I catch a glimpse of Dalah as we are leaving, she's sitting in the living room.

Leia tugs at my hand and I follow to her small ship hovering above the water at the end of the ramp. I climb in and to my surprise Poe is in the pilot seat.

"Poe?" He stands up and just looks at me.

"Are you coming back? What is this, a rescue mission?" His questions sting. Bringing me back to my empty feeling. I hold back my tears.

"Uhh, yes." I say. I don't know what to say.

"Talk later. Let's get out of here." Leia says kindly to Poe before sitting in the co seat. I sit in one of the remaining two and buckle in. Sprawling my hands over my belly, rubbing it. Two babies. I can barley take care of myself. I lean my head to the side and watch as we enter dead space.

"It's okay dear, I promise. Your safe." Leia turns and says to me. "You are all safe." And she nods. Poe shoots her a glaring look and then back to me quick. His eyebrow arches.

"Is there something I don't know?" Poe questions to Leia, even though I think his question should be directed to me.

"Now is not the time." Leia says politely. She is so mellow, Kylo defiantly doesn't take after his mother, defiantly Han. After a short time in silence. We jump out of Hyperdrive and a blue grey planet appears. Leia turns to me and smiles. "Everything will be fine." She says and looks back at the planet. We sp Ed around and enter the atmosphere to see trees and lakes. It's beautiful. At the edge of one of the large lakes is a castle. Maz?

"She almost rebuilt all of it?" My mind in awe. Poe turns and looks at me.

"You've been gone almost a year." His voice bitter, he must still be mad at me.

"It's beautiful," I turn my attention back to the castle and away from Poe's sneer attitude.

"I called ahead, I think Maz will be able help us. We cant take you back to the Resistance like this." She says. No wonder Han loved her so much, her calm demeanor helps the situation. We drop the shuttle down close to the castle and we proceed to make our way to the front door. Good thing it was only a short walk, my back aching. The babies so active today.

The doors open but inside isn't like last time, it's empty. No life signs at all. We make our way through the big room and into a small hallway. Leia open the door and Maz is standing by a small window. She slowly turns and her eyes widen as big as moons when she sees me.

"My child... The force flows off you like a burning sun. It's strong, I can feel you coming from far away. Your with... Children." She says. She walks over to me and reaches up to take my hand. Poe's head snaps to me.

"Yes, a boy and a girl." I say.

"Their father..." She lets go of my hand and steps back. "These babies have great power."

"We need your help Maz, she needs safty." Leia chimes in. Maz looks me over from head toe.

"I can see... Well I agree, these babies in the wrong hands would bring horrible things. Come, let's talk." She takes my hand and leads me to a conjoining room. There we sit down and I tell them a fake elaborate story about how I escaped from the Knight and that I felt more in danger than safe. They buy it and I feel relieved.

"I have a small castle in the mountains, It's remote and only accessible through a secret passage. I think it will be perfect for the next few months.

So remote Kylo can't find me kind of remote.

"Who else knows about this Rey?" Maz draws her attention to me.

"Just everyone in this room... And Fin." I look over to Poe. He hasn't said anything about me leaving last time, he still hold this grudge against me for making him take me. It's all my fault that Fin got hurt and Resistance members killed. I don't think he trusts me anymore.

"Ahh." Maz inhales.

"I think we need to get a doctor here, now. She needs to be examined. Look at her, she looks so frail." Leia reaches for my hand. "You made the right decision coming back here, this is what Luke would of wanted."

"Me pregnant with the Dark Lords children. I think not! I don't even know how it got to this..." I look down and run my hand over my bump. "I just want them safe." I look up at everyone at the table. "They need to be safe."

"And we will do everything in our powers to make that happen." Leia says and squeezes my hand.

"Why are you helping me?" I ask them. "I was just refusing your help." My emotions are all over the place.

"Because, your family now." Leia says. "Maz, when can you take us. We need to keep this a secret. I know Han trusted you."

"I volunteer to keep an eye on Rey, till the babies come. She will need someone to make sure she is safe." Poe looks at me. "What if he comes looking for you?"

"He won't." I says, holds back tears. I can feel the hole in my chest rip back open. "I don't think he will ever come for me." I say, knowing it's the truth. He might never come back.

"How do we know this?" Maz interrupts.

"Because... Because..." I can't it when the tears start. I cover my face with my hands.

"That's enough for today." Leia says.

"Yes, let's go." Everyone stands up from the table, I'm last because I'm moving slower and slower these days. Leia grabs my elbow and helps me. My chest aching, my tears not slowing down, he might never come because he will be dead. And I have no way of telling him where I am. This was a horrible idea.

 _KYLOOOO_ I scream into my head.

I would do anything to just hear his voice.

We load into the shuttle. Maz in the passenger seat. Leia in the seat next to me. Her hand outreached to hold mine. Poe in the pilot seat. The shuttle grazes over the ground through some flat land, lakes, through the hills towards a remote wooded area. Behind the woods I see a stone castle, not as large as Mazs. But it's beautiful.

"This place hasn't been used in almost 500 years. Castle Heast is sacred to the Jedi. Once used for cover from the Sith. It's inevitably undetectable. I promise you." Maz says from the front seat. "Land over there dear boy."

Poe lands the ship down in the field at the base of the castle. The ramp drops and we all exit the ship. Nearby there is a lake under a mountain and fields of tall grass. Trees as far as the eyes can see. It's remote for sure.

"Well, let's check it out." Maz motions her hand for us to follow. We walk up to the front of the castle. The castle is made of white and grey stone, stacked neatly on top of each other. It's 3 stories tall with two tall large towers, circular with surrounding framed out stone Windows. We walk up to the large wooden door and I notice a large brass lock. From Maz's hip she draws a circle ring of keys. All shapes, sizes, and colors. She separates one from the rest and they fall to the opposite side of the ring. The key is long and brass like the lock. She puts it in and the door unlocks, from the inside of the door it sounds like a million turning wheels I latching from a century old of death. The door lets out a final hiss and cracks open. Maz places both hands on the door and pushes it open.

We enter to a large grand room. Everything is open but it's an error feeling when everything is covered by white tarps. The last residents stuff protected from the years of sun and dust.

"It just needs some... Refreshing." Leia says from beside me. Maz strikes a match s lights a candle.

"It's getting dark. We will stay here tonight, in the morning this young man will take me to get supplies and to gather our best doctor. We need you monitored, your what... 33 weeks?" Maz looks to me.

"Almost." I say.

"Okay, well let's find you a place to rest." Leia says. She grabs a lite candle and proceeds to eat me up the grand staircase on the far wall. It's a stone staircase that whoops down and curves towards the end at the wall. We walk up to the second floor. We peak through a few room that were small and quaint.

"Let's keep looking." Leia comforts me when I stop and run my back. "There has to be a better one here."

We keep looking till we get to the last door. We open it to find it over looking the water and mountain.

"Perfect." She says with a smile. She walks around and pulls off the old white tarps. The dust flickering the the setting Suns rays through the room. She gathers them al, into a ball and throws them in the hallway. The room has a large bed, made for someone royal no doubt, a door leading to a fresher no doubt. Another with a closet full of robes and clothes. A dresser and a vanity. It's quaint.

"This is where the master Jedi would stay, it's perfect." Maz says from behind us.

"Thank you Maz, for helping. Your really amazing." I say. "I wasn't expecting all this when I asked for help." I secretly wanted to be easily found.

"Your family now." She says. And her and Leia leave me alone in the room to rest, Leia giving me a polite hug and smile before leaving.

I crawl into bed and fall asleep, crying... Thinking of Kylo.

 ****I struggled with the idea of them being apart, and actually was really sad writing this chapter. I feel her pain. Now she feels as though he never existed... a distant memory. We will see how things go here, with Poe and Leia. Maz plays a big role too. Im sure Fin will pop back in.**

 **And as always thank you for reading! You are all amazing. and for Boys names... im still stuck (I was thinking Ben) lol****


	54. Chapter 54

Chapter 54: Castle Heast

I slowly wake to the rising sun outside my stone framed window. I crawl out of bed and into the bathroom to take a quick shower and in the closet I find some black sweatpants and a tshirt, it's sorta to big but it will do. I walk down stairs and its only Leia. The whole place looks different. Everything uncovered and the light shinning through now. She is making something to eat. I walk through the large living room. There is a stone fireplace on the wall. 3 large sofas. And a dinning room off the kitchen. It's very open though. You can see anything from anywhere you stand. Stone pillars stand around various spots of the room for support.

"Wow, you really know how to clean up." I say, she startles and looks at me.

"Oh, I'm glad your up. Come eat." She grabs a pre made plate off the kitchen tables and brings it over to one of the sofas and sits down, motioning me to sit next to her. I walk over and sit down, she hands me the plate and I begin to eat the bread and eggs. "Poe and Maz left not that long ago. They went to get supplies and some... Important... People. It's better to keep you here than anywhere else. I just want to know something Darling." She looks at me with such a mothering face. I forget that I'm in love with her son, married to him.

"Anything." I say in between mouthfuls. The food tastes so good.

"How is he?" She says, her eyes swelling with tears. I swollow the food in my mouth hard and put my plate on the small table next to the couch. I turn and hold her hands, I want her to know that I trust her, to feel that I'm trying to make a connection to her. I need her help if Snoke comes for me.

"He is okay. I wish I could tell you more about how all this came to be, but rite now it's just to painful. All I can tell you is that he isn't a bad person Leia, but he is to Dark to ever be Light and I realized that and that's why I came back." Even talking about him opens the hole in my chest back up, wrenching my heart in different directions, I feel I might cripple beneath my sorrows. I'm drowning in memories of his touch. "I love him" I say to her.

She reaches up and brushes a tear off my cheek before brushing one off her own. She looks down at the necklace hanging down just over the top of my belly.

"Did he give this to you?" She says, she hold the tiny carved object in her hand. I almost feel sick that she is touching it.

"Yes." I say. I want to take it out of her hand and hold it close. She drops it.

"When the babies come, we will stay here. If word gets out about this, people will come for them... Want them destroyed. Spawn of the dev..." She stops herself. "They don't understand him like you and me. I wont let anything happen to you or those sweet babies. It's all I have left of Han and Ben. I want to protect them just as much as your do." She's is so sincere but part of me thinks she is doing this for her own selfish gain, to be closer to the two people she lost. Ben is dead to her, I fell in love with Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo.

"Your so sweet, and to take me in when I gave you the cold shoulder just a days before. I should have never left to go back to him, but I understand now. My place is here. With you." I say, I'm lieing through my teeth, all I want is to be with Kylo. And my visions give me hope. "I'm going to go for a walk." I say, I need to clear my head.

"Okay, they should be back soon. Please don't walk far." She says. She pats my stomach and the babies roll around. I love feeling them move. To think the whole time I thought there was only one. Leia helps me to my feet and I make my way outside. The sun shining on my skin.

Why would Ana show me these visions of happiness, of us being a family, of sadness, or any of this if Kylo would die? Seems so unfair. He has to come back. But she also left out this little boy... Where is he in my visions... The thought makes my stomach sick. I find myself walking through the fields. I don't even have shoes on. I make my way over to the edge of the lake. I can still see the stone house in the far distance behind me. The wind blowing in my hair. I close my eyes and imagine I'm in the meadow. The way the sun hits my skin just right to give me a warm feeling. I wish I wasn't wearing so much clothing. I open my eyes and reality sets in. I fall to my knees and buckle under the wall of tears.

"Why did you have to pull away Kylo. You left me... Alone..." I cry into my hands. I have gotten use to for a whole year, Kylo being in my head and being in all my thoughts. I forgot what being alone felt like. I feel like I'm suffocating in my own thoughts now.

I would do anything to be near him right now. How much I'm drawn to him, to his scent, to his appearance, to even the darkness that flows off him. Suddenly it's a flash of white in front of my eyes.

Im standing in the rain, looking out over a dark plain, a field of some sort but its dark out and I cant see far, A tiny figure in my vision, he turns around and I'm stunned. A child like Kylo with slightly different features... The boy. From my side Ana tugs at my cloak.

"We need to leave, it isn't safe mommy." She says. The boys eyes, yellow, his eyes narrow.

"Come here, please." I yell out to him. They have to be 5/6 years old. Just a youngling but Ana seems terrified of her brother. I can feel the darkness, so much of his father in him. I don't feel that from Ana, I feel her light.

"You should not be here mother." He says. He reaches to his side and withdraws a child size lightsaber. Red like Kylos. "You should not have came."

"Stop this, what are you doing?" I plead with him. Ana tugs harder on my cloak.

"Leave!" He yells with his small voice, the ground starts to shake and the earth cracks open causing me and Ana to fall to our knees. My heart racing, she fell away from me. To far for me to reach, she's on the other side of the crack. Suddenly a strong arm wraps around me pulling me to my feet. I look over my shoulder to see Kylos mask. I feel like he is real, touching me, his arm wrapped around me.

"Your here." I whisper. The vision stops and I open my eyes back to the water. Tears falling. I feel more broken than ever before. An evil son and a good daughter? Is that what this is. I don't get what she is showing me. Why now she is showing me him and not before or is this him showing me?

I feel lost. For a few moments I look at the water and think about Kylos arm around me and how much I crave his touch.

Does he crave mine just as much? I force myself to my feet and turn and wlk up the slight hill to the stone structure.

I make it almost to the door just in time to see Maz and Poe landing. I make my way slowly to their ship and watch the ramp lower. Two people I dont recognize get off and walk over to me and introduce their self's. They are perfesional, but dirty. I can tell they are resistance. They look like they have been through hell. One man short and plumpy with a soft face, he looks kind. The other man tall with a flat face and large bird nose. His limbs long and slender, he clears his throat.

"I am Doctor Jeckle, this here is my assistant, Burg. We are going to take good care of you." Just as hes talking. Poe, Maz, and Finn come out of the ship laughing and talking. It distracts me from the other thing the doctor was mumbling about.

"Ahh Rey, I see you meet two of my close friends already. Cant wait for this little lady to catch up, huh?," she nudged the thigh of the fat man and he chuckles. "Lets go inside, Poe and Finn will bring in everything." I glance over to Poe and Finn, quickly locking eyes with Finn. He looks away fast. I frown and turn to walk to the house. Leia waiting in the doorway, watching me. Im glad I will have good doctors to watch over these next few weeks though. For that im thankful but my mind shifts back to the vision. My head spining.

 **** Hi everyone! Thank you for reading. Ill update again Mon or tuesday. Im going away for the weekend to a Bachlorette Party! So i wont have time to write. The next chapter will get intense between Finn and Rey, and Poe defending Rey. Happy Weekend! ****


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55: 36weeks Along

My feet hurt, my back hurts, my boobs hurt. I know its coming soon. I feel it in my body, preparing to give birth. Its strange to know that in no time at all, this little boy and girl will be here and its up to me to protect them. Kylan and Ana are my whole world and I havent even met them yet.

Iv had no more alluring visions. I feel like the last one was a warning and then they stooped. Their powers will be uncontrollable when they are toddlers. I want to make sure they get the best training I can provide. Iv been studding holos and reading old books left here about Jedi ways. I think it makes Leia feel like im actually apart of the resistance and if Kylo is dead, I have to accept that I am. Though I much rather be with Kylo... but I press on.

Right now Im laying in the field, soaking up the sun. Maz was able to locate me some rather comfy dresses for my big belly. I much appreciate her. She doesn't hover like Leia, she just can sense when I need something. Just thinking about the other visions Ana has shown me in the past worries me. Specially the one about Finn. In my hand im holding a holo about visions. I havent opened it yet. I waited till I could be completely alone.

I take a deep breath and open it. I read about how visions can come true. How some have predicted a war before starting. Some have predicted huge deaths and the outcome of polls. There is so much research here about the origins of visions. The part that caught my attention was the part about visions being wrong, or visions going off feelings. They are rare but can happen. There are ways to prevent visions, thats why the gift of visions was used across the galaxy, visioners captured and held prisoners by kings, emperors, rulers, anyone of high power or the highest bidder.

I grab my stomach, thinking that if someone finds out that they would take them. If Kylo doesnt kill Snoke, he would find us and take my babies and raise them for his use. I will never let that happen. I throw the disc across the field in anger and stomp away. Maybe she is showing me what she wants me to see and the thought upsets me. Because she has shown me Kylo, them together playing. Was she just projecting what I want to see...

Finn still wont talk to me, I have approached him several times and he just walks away. Poe told me he came to protect me. He is still mad but wants to make sure im safe. I fight with myself about the decisions I made. My body still craves Kylo so bad but each day seems to get a little easier to be apart. My mind setting into a different mode, mom mode. I have pushed him in the back of my thoughts, not wanting to think about him and rip open the hole that is left. Im worried about not being able reconnect with him if he comes back.

"Rey!" A far voice cries out. Its Poe, I see him walking towards me. His black hair glistens in the golden sun, he has been so sweet to me, so comforting. He knows the hole in my heart is raw and he doesnt try and ask about it. "Rey, im glad I found you. Dr. Jeckle would like to run a few tests. He says its getting close." I roll my eyes at him.

"You mean Leia wants him to run more tests." I say to Poe. He chuckle a little.

"Yeah, I guess its more her than anything. Shes worried about you thats all." He says, his eyes melt into a sad look.

"Its fine, Ill go. I know its getting close anyways." I smile at him. He holds his arm out for me to put my arm around for support. Such a gentleman. Together we walk back to the castle. Laughing about how Burg snores so loud in his sleep you can hear it throughout the castle. Poe always knows how to put a smile on my face. Im thankful he is here. I lean my head on his shoulder the rest of the way.

Once inside the house I take a seat on the sofa and Poe sits across from me in the big chair. He usually observes the exams, I dont think he trusts Dr. Jeckle but I dont understand why. I can tell Poes presence makes him nervous. I almost ask Poe to leave but its comforting having him here, he can distract Leia if she becomes to hovering. I catch Poes wink when the doctor takes my wrist to examine my veins. Hes checking my blood flow apparently. I dont really know. I dont ask him alot of questions because I just want the examine over as fast as possible. I rather doing anything other than sitting here being observed like a animal in a cage. Kylan and Ana roll around kicking and punching my insides. I know Im going to miss this someday but right now I feel like a whale and would like my old body back.

"All done, I suggest you stay off your feet the rest of the day." Jeckle says.

My heart sinks. Another day of "bed rest". Yay. I get up and slowly make my way up to my room to take a nap. I run into Leia on the stairs.

"I didnt know you were back inside already or I wouldnt of came downstairs. Do you need anything? Do you want me to run you a bath? Do you need more blankets?" Shes hovering again but for once her idea of a bath sounds amazing and decide to take her up on the offer.

She wraps her arm around my back and walks with me back to my room. I let her do her thing while I wait sitting on the edge of the bed. Memories of Kylo pushing into my mind. My heart feels empty, my stomach drops, and I break out in a small cold chill. I ache for his touch. To see his face again. To have his arms around me. I close my eyes and push the memories back. I cant be weak now. I cant give in now when I am so close to giving birth. Leia emerges from the bathroom and looks into my eyes. She knows im hurting bad and I think she hovers because she feels guilty that its her son.

"Thank you. A bath is going to feel amazing." I say and get up and walk towards the bathroom. Giving her no room to talk or acknowledge my breaking heart.

* * *

The next day I feel more revived. After a long bath and then a good night sleep I could defiantly use a good walk. I creep down the stairs and no one is around so I tiptoe out the front door and out to the lake to a worn patch of grass that I love sitting in. It gives me the perfect look or the lake and I can also rest my back against a tree. My peace. Im just trying to take it one day at a time. I hope that he turns the connection back on or else he wont be able to find me and the thought bothers me. I want to figure out how he was able to stop it, I thought it was impossible once we had sex or maybe once we conceived the babies. Maybe the book was wrong or he lied to me.

I close my eyes and just rest. I dont know why I keep being told to stay inside. Its so nice out here, and Maz is the one who told me its safe. Leia is very protective. Just like Kylo knew she would be of me. I run my hands over the large bump.

"I promise babies, I will always protect you." I say to them and smile. I slowly start singing a melody to them while resting my eyes and I dose off to a peaceful nap.

* * *

"Hey, wake up." A small nudge on my shoulder wakes me up. I slowly open and rub my eyes.

"Finn?" His blurry silouette comes into form. He stands up from next to me and extends his hand to help me up. Its the first time we have really been face to face since he got here 3 weeks points to the clouds. The sky is growing dark and the rumble of thunder is in the distance. "Its about to storm out. I just want to make sure you get inside before it rains. You dont need to get a cold."

"Where is everyone." His kind gesture throwing me off.

"They went to to check in on the other Resistance bases. I guess something is going on. Dr. Jeckle and Burg are in their rooms. Iv been keeping an eye from the roof when I heard the thunder and thought it be good to bring you inside." He says. He turns to walk to the castle. A drop of water lands on my cheek.

"Well thank you Finn. I defiantly dont want to get caught out in the rain. I appreciate it." I say to him. He doesnt respond. He holds my elbow for support as we walk to the house. Halfway there the rain starts, like a dam broke in the sky. It was raining so hard I couldnt see where I was going. Finn never letting go of my elbow.

"THIS WAY!" He yells from right next to me over the loud rain. Somehow we make it back to the castle, I stop in the doorway to look out through the rain. The sky dark as night. Thunder rumbling loud and lightening striking the ground near the castle. Finn pulls me back and shuts the door. I hear the pounding of foot steps down the stairs from behind me.

"Are you okay Rey? Sit down, let me examine you." Burg says.

"Im fine." I snap. Annoyed with their hoverness. Burg quietly sits down on a nearby sofa while Dr. Jeckle follows me to the kitchen area because I was going to grab a warm drink to bring upstairs with me. I whip around, "Can I please be alone. Geesh." I shove past him and decide to just go upstairs and change my wet clothes. But I notice at the bottom of the stairs Finn is laughing.

"What?" I say.

"Nothing, come on... like I said before, you dont need to get a cold right now." I walk up the stairs, Finn following behind me. When we get to the top of the stairs I stop and look at him.

"Why are you following me? For weeks you havent said anything to me and now you want to help?"

"Stop it, you know I care about you. Thats why im here but you have to understand..." He looks me up and down. "Your pregnant with his kids, that a tough one for me to swallow. I know what type of monster he is, I have seen it first hand. Im worried about you. That he is using you... What if he decides to kill you after and was just using you to make an heir for him...and you went back to him how many times..." He points to my stomach.

"Ana and Kylan will be safe where ever I am. Im going to protect them. The second they are out I will be able to use my force again without putting them in danger. And Kylo would never harm us. He loves us." I say. "But I realized he is to dangerous for us to be around." I lie to him, truth is he wanted to leave us... to risk his life for us. Such a selfless act. I turn around and slam the door in Finns face. Leaning against it. The tears starting. I walk over to the window. The rain falling hard against the outside of the curved glass. I put my forehead against it, its cool to the touch.

It starts in my knees and travels up. Cold shivers unlike anything I have felt before. I walk towards the bathroom hoping a warm shower will help. I stand under the water, watching it waterfall down my breast and stomach. The warmth welcoming. The thunder booming through the castle. One in particular makes me jump and I decide to get out of the shower. I dress in warm clothes and sit on my bed and brush out my long hair. I turn and lay down, watching the rain hit the window and my eyes fall heavy.

Someone pounds on the door startling me awake.

"Come in." I say. Poe barges in out of breath.

"We need to leave right now!" He yells. I jump out of bed.

"When did you get back, how did you even fly in this?" I ask. wondering when they even got back.

"The First Order is attacking Maz's Castle. They must know your here. We need to leave." I waddle over to the door. I have a bag packed for in case this happens. I pick it up but Finn grabs it out of my hand and leads me down the hallway. Another loud sound of thunder erupts from the sky outside.

"Where is everyone?"I ask.

"Everyone but Burg, hes on my shuttle. Everyone else are already loaded and gone on a separate shuttle. They are going to meet us in the new location. I dont know how the First Order found us or why they are attacking. But my main priority is your safety. And I dont trust anyone else flying you. Not even Finn. Now come on, Im right outside the door." We get to the bottom of the stairs and Poe hands me my cloak. I havent seen it in a long while. My hand shakes, Kylos memories flood my head. "No time for tears. We need to..."

The ground starts shaking and I have to grab onto the closet piece of furniture to hold steady, which is a small couch. Poe holds onto a nearby table to hold still.

"They are closer than I thought." Poe says.

What if its Kylo coming for me? It cant be, he wouldn't know where I was unless he opened the bond again.

In an instant my whole world changes.

Warm liquid flowing down my legs and puddling under me. I shoot a look at Poe who isnt paying attention. The castle still shaking.

"Poe!" I yell out. Grabbing my stomach. His eyes shoot to mine and he looks at me from head to toe... his eyes focus under my feet.

"Your water broke?" His face in horror. My stomach slightly cramping, causing me to wince. My body is going into labor. "Great. Just great." He wobbles his way over to me and wraps his arm around my back. "I need to get you on the ship, come on." And the castle stops shaking suddenly and we both look at each other.

"Lets go." I whisper. I take the opportunity of the stillness to shuffle my feet to the door, Poe opens it and I can see the ramp of his shuttle down through the rain. He looks down at me and tightens his arm around me and we walks fast through the rain to the shuttle. Once inside he sits me in the closest seat to the ramp and just runs to the controls. Closing the ramp and the shuttle takes off. Burg looks at me from beside Poe. He must register my face. I grab my stomach in another small cramp like pain. "My water Burg..." Im out of breath. "It broke" I huff. I can see through the front windows the blackness of space and the stars. But my eyes widen when The Destroyer comes into view. My mind shoots into overload.

Is it Kylo?...

Is it Snoke?...

Is it the General?...

 ****Thank you everyone for reading and your wonderful reviews! They keep me going! Im so happy to put a smile on your face for a short time when your reading my story, your are all amazing! Thank youu! ****


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56: Birth

We are face to face with the Destroyer. My heart pounds, memories of me and Kylo on the ship flood my mind. I close my eyes at tight as I can and I scream for Kylo in my mind, reaching for him. Searching for him.

"Rey, I need you breath through your contractions. I don't want you to deliver the babies on this shuttle." Burg says to me. He must think I'm in pain, and I am. Just not contraction pain. My heart is breaking. Wondering what's going on onboard the Destroyer.

"They haven't spotted us yet I don't think." Poe zips the ship around to the right and morphs into hyperdrive to get up out of there. "Better to be safe then sorry." He mumbles. I grab my chest as my heart aches for Kylo but I can't let them see how much pain he is causing me to be in, if he dies I need them to think that I'm with them. I don't even want Poe to see my true colors. My eyes water and another contraction hits. I grab my stomach tight and breath out. A unreal pain erupts through me, unlike anything I have ever felt.

"Ahhhh!" I yell out. Burg unbuckled from his seat and kneels in front of me.

"We are almost there." He grabs my hand and gives it a friendly squeeze and the contraction passes.

"Where... Where are we going..." I say through catching my breath. Poe looks back at Burg. They make a worried looking eye contact. "What's going on?" I say. "Where are we going?"

"We have strict instructions to take you to Smaug, to one of our underground bases... But I umm..." Poe hits a button and unbuckled and stands next to his seat. "I don't think it's safe. I think we need to take you to the Hexis to deliver the babies. They have the best medical staff. Burg here feels that some of our friends are to not be trusted and I have to say I agree. With your permission I'd like to go with my plan..." His eyes lower.

"Just get these babies out, please!" I say. He nods and sits back down. Flicking a switch and within a minute we jump out of hyperdrive to a greying green plant. Another contraction hits and I squeeze Burgs hand. I don't have the time to digest what he means by who can't be trusted. And I'll be sure to ask the second I can think strait.

Something in my heart pulses, an unusual heartbeat. A single hard thump. I hold my chest as it tightens and my vision blurry for a second. My body chills. I quickly snap back. Quickly blaming it on anxiety.

Poe surges through the sky traffic to the off ramp. He talks into the intercom explaining that I'm a pregnant woman in destress and in labor with premature twins. They answer back giving us the clear saying medical will meat us at the bay door. Poe stand up and walks over to me. I swing my arm around his neck and stand up. His other arm supporting my back. We wobble down the ramp. Outside around us is a busy city, but it's crisp looking, clean and uniformed. We walk over to the sliding doors. Burg traveling close behind. When the frosted glass doors open we are greeted by an arm of medical personnel. They start all talking. Rushing me onto a flat gurney and making me comfortable. I have to admit, this is real comfortable. Soft like a cloud. I'm thankful for it.

Another contraction.

"4 minutes apart." Burg erupts from behind the 5 white jacket people. The tall blonde nods and looks down at me. She walks next to the bed as they wheel me down the hallway.

"Dear, you will be alright. We are well equipped for something like this. Don't worry." She says soothingly. "Your husband brought you to the right place."

Her words run through my head. Who is she talking about? Poe? I look at her but decide not to argue since all I care about is delivering Kylan and Ana and that they are healthy. We go through a series of hallways and onto a small off door leading to a small shuttle. It's beautiful, a pure white long narrow ship built for transporting medical emergencies. I am thankful for this, to have all this instead of delivering my babies on the other dirty shuttle floor.

"It's just a quick ride to the maternity ward." The blonde smiles down at me again. I close my eyes and relax my body. She covers me with a blanket as we cross the open area to the shuttle. Once inside they hook me up to an Iv and wrap a cuff around my arm. One poked my finger for a blood sample. And the blonde lady just runs her fingers through my hair. I sneak a peak at the corner where Poe and Burg stand quietly.

Another contraction.

The pain tightens even more. Poe pushes past the two white coats next to me and grabs my hand. Comforting me through the pain.

When the contraction is over I open my eyes and look up at Poe.

"Thank you." I say. He lets out a small laugh.

"Just don't break my hand. I need it to fly." He gives me a big smile.

"Almost there." Tall blonde states.

"What's going on Poe? Why didn't you take me to Smaug?" I plead with him for an answer. I don't feel right, not having Leia here. She must be freaking out right now, she must think the First Order got us. My stomach sinks.

"Can we talk about this later, your fine here." He says.

"Why here?" I say as a short red head wipes some sweat off my forehead with a cool rag. It feels wonderful.

"Because this is where I was born." He smiles at me. My heart pounds again in the violent thump as before. Startling me. My body chills and breaks out in a cold sweat. Poe's face gets fuzzy and around him blackens.

"Her pressure is dropping... She's going into cardiac arrest..." And than blackness.

* * *

Slowly I open my eyes. The surroundings are a crisp white, clean, and neat. It takes me a minute to focus. I try and sit up but a stabbing pain in my gut causes me to fall right back down.

"Shhsh." A warm hand touches my shoulder. I look over and see Burg looking at me and he slowly rubs my shoulder. My eyes well up when I suddenly remember everything that happened. I look strait down at my stomach which is oddly smaller than before. "They are fine, just in the room next door." He whispers into my ear.

"What happened? Are they alright? Can I see them?" I try and sit up again but Burg holds his grip on my shoulder.

"Your heart stopped working. We cant explain it. Maybe all the stress and your labor. But they did a cesarian and the babies are fine. Beautiful, both with full thick heads of black hair. The nurses really are buying that Poe is the father. I suggest you just stick with the story. k?" He nods at me. I nod back.

"Can I see them?" I ask.

"Of course." He steps away and walks over to the door, whistling for someones attention and waving his hand in the come here motion. After a moment Poe pokes through the door with two small little bundles wrapped in his arms. A moment I would of rathered shared with Kylo. He slowly walks over and places the two small bundles in my arms. I look between their two little faces and I cant help but cry. They are perfect.

Both are sleeping peacefully and the only way to tell them apart right now is by her pink bow hat and his blue plain hat. I look up at Poe and hes smiling at me.

"We thought we were going to loose you for good at one point." He says, his eye are filled with worry now.

'I honestly dont know what happened, but here I am... so lets not dwell on it." I smile at him and look down at the babies. Ana shifts alittle and scrunches her face. Kylan yawns. Two beautiful little humans that are all mine. "Now what?" I say to Poe.

"Well for a few days you will remain here under my protection, I also have a squad on the roof, all men I trust. We will know if anyone is coming, but for now we remain hidden from both the First Order and The Resistance." He sounds proud to have been able to keep me out of harms way.

"Thank you Poe, Thank you." I smile wide at him. Yawning myself.

"You need sleep, here... let me take them... Burg, grab Ana... and you get some sleep Rey, your going to need it. Let the nurses here help while you recover." He runs his hand through my hair before grabbing Kylan out of my arm. Right before Burg is about to grab Ana I stop him. I reach my hand up and run y fingers for the first time over her soft pink cheek. She is so tiny. I touch her eyelids and run my finger over her button nose. I give her a small kiss on her forehead before slowly handing her to Burg. They are right. I do need sleep. Not only for rest but to not think about Kylo right now.

* * *

The next week flies by, the nurses come in and out, sometimes I am able to hold both babies at once and sometimes I like spending one on one, memorizing their tiny bodies. Counting fingers and toes over and over. I notice each baby has a small birthmark on their wrist. In the shape of a cresent moon. Its adorable. I kiss them all over. Their tiny feet and hands. Their noses and little lips. I cant get enough of them. Sometimes I overdo it and my insision acts up. I wish I was able to learn the healing power so I could take the pain away. But it was worth it... to see their faces. Reminding me so much of Kylo. I feel closer to him at least. Still empty inside, still alone.

Burg is great, he helps with the babies alot. Showing me how to change them and everything. He must of had kids or delt with babies as a doctor. Hes amazing. Poe is usually standing outside the room as guard, but sometimes he comes in and holds on of the babies. When you look into thier little blue eyes you forget that their father is one of the most evil men in the galaxy, and I wonder how their could be any evil in them. They are so innocent right now, pure.

On this occasion Poe has decided to join me and Burg in the room, we are laughing and talking about baby things when I have a sudden sickening feeling.

"Why didnt you want to take me to Smaug?" I look directly at Poe. He lowers his eyes and starts pacing, biting his nails. He stops and preceeds to try and explain this mess to me.

"Okay, so dont freak out. Finn has been acting alittle off, and Leia has been way to overbearing. Something is up between those two and I think they were going to take the babies into secret from you. I couldnt have that happen to you, I dont know their reasonings. But no mother should be taken from her children. I know you will do right by them." He says, he looks so worried, gauging for my reaction. I decide not to press on because I dont want to get angry right now. My force is way out of wack, I can feel the babies force radiating off them and that frightens me. Being able to feel such strong feelings from something so small. Maybe Leia felt that too somehow. Im just grateful for Poe and Burg.

"Where are we going after this?" I ask. Looking between them two.

"I thought for now you would be more comfortable at the lake house. I dont think they will come looking for you there, it be the last place they would think I would take you. And its secluded. Just for now, till we figure out a better plan. We can leave tomorrow." Poe says. He knows thats exactly where I want to be. My whole body tingles with excitement.

"YES!" I yell. Startling Ana in her sleep. Shes snuggled into my arm. "Oopss." I giggle. She doesnt wake just frowns in her sleep and is still again. Burg holding onto Kylan who wakes and lets out a little cry. "Time to be feed. Out you two. Can you put Ana in the bassinet?" Burg switches babies with me and lays Ana in a near bassinet. And they both leave me to feed my little boy.

I sit up best I can and pull up my shift, grabbing my swollen breast and moving him slowly onto my nipple. He latches on quickly.

Just like his father.

Kylan is a easier eater, a natural. Ana not so much, she takes a little work to get it right but I keep trying. Once he is settled I run my hand over his cheek and through his black hair. He looks so much like his father except he has my button nose. Tears drip onto his little wrapped swaddle. My chest feels so empty. I want to be sharing these moments with my husband, instead I have no idea if he will ever meet them.

And what was that thud in my chest that caused my heart to stop... I cant be weak now, I need to be strong for Kylan and Ana. And to keep them safe.

 **** Thank you to all my readers, I know you are all wondering about the Destroyer and the reason it was there will come out soon. You are all amazing, sorry for leaving you hanging last chapter... cliff hangers are the worst ;)**

 **Thank you for the reviews, I really enjoy writing for you guys. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I know some of you are wondering how I came up with Kylan (beside the obvious name mashup), and honestly it was going to be Ben, but i was watching TV the other day and heard the name and was like BAM thats it. lol.**

 **Stay tuned, Anas vision of Finn will be explained soon too. XX-SSL ****


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57: Traitor

It's been 6 weeks, and the babies are doing wonderful. Burg said they are right on track for babies born at their size. Both a little over 4lbs, now around 8. Poe had gone to the village not long ago and was able to get some baby's clothes. I love dressing them up. But every time I look at them my heart breaks a little over missing Kylo. They remind me of his soft side. His gentle touch and our late nights in this bed.

Both the babies lay cooing in the middle of the bed while I get dressed. A cool breeze blowing through the balcony. I finish brushing my hair and lean over the babies. My incision almost completely healed. I feel almost back to normal, wearing black pants and a plain white shirt. I can fit into all my old clothes. I'm thankful for that.

Poe knocks on the door and slowly pushes it open, "Breakfast is ready. Do you need help?" He says.

"Sure. Want to grab Ana?" I reach over and grab Kylan. Kissing his nose and cheeks and I walk past Poe to the door. I walk downstairs, hearing Poe right behind me.

"Coffee ma'am." Dalah asks. She is such a delight to be back around. Helping with the cleaning.

"Sure." I lay Kylan down in the makeshift large bassinet and sit in a nearby chair at the dinning table. Poe lays Ana next to Kylan and sits down across from me. Burg emerges from the living room and sits down next to me.

"Your doing great Rey." He says and squeezes my shoulder. He looks exhausted, big black bags under his eyes. In his hand he holds a small red book. I recognize it from above the shelf.

"Why are you reading that?" I ask and point to the little book in his hand.

"Ohh, Force Bonds." He laughs. "I get bored here and how often will you be able to read such great book." His words sound eerie. There is no way he would ever know that about me and Kylo. No way.

"Oh yeah, good book." I say and excuse my self from the table. Checking on the babies before walking out into the patio. The water shimmering in the sun. Poe comes and stands next to me. "I miss him you know. A lot. Every time I look at those sweet babies I think of him." I say and then I look Poe, pleadingly.

"I know." He says and offers me a consoling hug. He lets go and steps back.

We spend the day playing with the babies, taking turns passing them around. Bed time comes quick, and they sleep up to 8 hours so I know if they go to bed now will be able to get a good amount of sleep since it's dark out. I lay them down each in their own bassinet and kiss them goodnight after their final feedings. I crawl under the covers and close my eyes. Ready for bed.

I wake up to a rustling. The room is dark, the sound unexpected. I turn and flick the lamp on next to the bed and in the corner is a face I will never forget. Finn, looking at me with almost a snarl, reaching for Ana.

"Get away from her!" I yell.

"It's for the best, they are the last Jedis, the survival of the Resistance depends on it Rey." He pleads with me. He reaches for Ana a little closer. I raise my hand and for the first time since the twins I froze something, Finn frozen in fear, not expecting me to wake up and ruin whatever plan he had. Poe comes barging in the room.

"How did you get in?" Poe yells out. "I'm sorry Rey. We have to leave here right away." I squeeze my hold around Finn and he grasps for air. "Stop Rey!" Poe yells and grabs my raised hand. I loosen my hold and Poe rushes over, tying Finns hands behind his back with a belt.

"Who else is with you? How did you find us?" I say, worry filling me. If their are more then how will I take them. I don't remember a lot of my training. I don't know where my saber is right now and I'm to tired.

"This was just a stop on my places to look for you. Last place I thought you would be. But here you are. Leia sent me, those babies need protection Rey. You think Poe is going to protect you? I'm suprised you arnt dead already... When we saw the Destroyer we barley got away. We assumed they took you guys but when we got Intel from the inside, there was no word. And Leia and I figured that their was still hope them. For Kylan and Ana to be raised as Jedi, not Siths... If they were to ever get to them." Finns says this all through his teeth. Spitting and eyes bulging in anger.

"I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK! THEY ARE MY BABIES AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE THEM!" I yell, I don't know either to kill my dearest friend from what seems like a lifetime ago or take him as prisoner. My heart pounds through my chest. I unclench Finn and Poe drags him out of the room. I frantically start packing everything I will need. Now we are on the run again. I was hoping Kylo would sense I was here and come back. But lately, ever since the twins where born I feel more distant from him. I throw my clothes and the babies clothes into bags. Rushing frantically around the room. Kylan fuses in his sleep and starts crying. I walk over to him and pick him up, cradling him close in my chest, he must sense my distress.

"Mommys little man, I love you so much. I will not let anyone get to you. I promise." His eyes quickly close and he's fast asleep. I kiss his little forehead and get their carriers together. They are just flat baskets with blankets piled in for comfort, Burg intertwined rope handles to the flat baskets so they have little transportable beds. Right now they look so small in them as I carefully one by one place them in their little pink and blue carriers. Pushing their hair into place and walking to pack my last bag.

Burg walks in, "We loaded the prisoner..." He hisses the word through his teeth, "... Onto the ship. Are you ready? What can I grab?" I point to the three large bags on he bed. I pick up the baskets and awkwardly carry them down the stairs, Burg huffing behind me from my heavy bags. When I get to the bottom of the stairs DalAH TAKES Kylan's handle from me and carries him the rest of the way to the dock where Poe has his shuttle hovering at the end. Dalah hands the baby to Poe while I catch a glimpse of a furious tied up and gagged Finn in the back.

"What are we going to do with him?" I ask Poe.

"Not sure, but if we send him back he will just come looking for us. We will take him with us. Or drop him at the nearest desert planet." He shoots a narrow eyes look to Finn who's eyes bulge out of his head.

"I could wipe his memory again." I say to Poe. "Or make him believe we arnt his enemy. We could use a pair of extra hands around here."

Poe looks nervously at Finn, "You don't want to kill him?" He asks me while still staring at Finn. I hear Burg shuffle onto the ship behind me.

I look back at Poe. "We need to go someplace new, hidden. I'm make Finn forget all the stuff about what Leia has apparently corrupted him with. And we can go. Okay?" Poe hesitantly nods his head. I walk over in front of Finn and look him in the eyes for a few seconds before shutting mine and concentrating. I raise my hand and pry into his mind. I watch what Leia says to him about the babies and all the places he looked...

Even Jakku...

I clear all these and wipe it a clean state, leaving him with only the good memories of us before before Starkiller. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. I let go of his mind and open my eyes. He's slouched over, unconscious on the seat. I turn around and lol, at Poe.

"If that doesn't work, then I don't know... Drop him off somewhere. But I refuse to kill him." I say. I walk over and sit in the seat next to the baskets. Both babies sleeping peacefully. I slide down my seat. And we take off to a new place...

* * *

The Twins Turn One...

* * *

We have made a home on the planet of Gnash, it's a beautiful planet with large oceans and islands full of fresh fruit and harmless wild game for food. We landed on one of the islands exactly one year ago today with an empty minded Finn who soon believed that Poe was the father of Kylan and Ana, with all that black hair he very well could be. Once in awhile Burg and Finn will leave for half the day, getting supplies or clothes for the fast growing babies. They managed to pick up an extra shuttle at one of the exchanges.

We built little shakes out of the forest and keep mostly to ourselves now that the babies are alittle older and I can do more with them by myself. I'm trying to teach Ana to walk, Kylan was a much faster learner than she is. Her chubby wobbly legs and gummy one tooth smile.

I'm watching them play in the sand, slowly filling their cloth diapers with sand.

"They are defiantly going to need another bath." Poe says from behind me.

"Ha ha, yeah. I shouldn't of let them do that huh?" I look over to him, he makes his way past me and sits down next to the kids and starts brushing some sand off Anas cheek.

"Do you think we can stay here forever?" I ask.

"I hope so. It's relaxing you know, not fighting all the time." He says and looks up at me.

"I want to take the babies to the meadow. Just me and them for the day. It is their birthday" He winces and stands up. Walking slowly towards me.

"Why?" He says.

"Because I keep dreaming about it and I want to take them there. Just for a few hours. I will be fine. I am free to leave right?" I say.

"Well yeah, but I" he starts...

"I am going alone. I need a little space." I say. Putting my hand on his chest and pushing him back.

"Okay." I'll help you get your stuff together. One day can hurt." He says and shrugs.

We spend the next few hours getting the babies ready and he helps load them into the shuttle. Each in their baby seats Burg picked up one time on a trade. I can tell Poe is worried.

"We will be fine. No one but me and well you.. Know about that place. And by now I think Kylo might be dead. No one in the first order knows about the lake house at all. Or about its secret meadow. I'm going to land right in there. I'll be fine, a few hours at most." I say.

"Okay, yeah. A few hours." He says, he gives me a small hug. "If you don't come back then what?" He says and let's me go.

I laugh, "I'll be back. Kay?" I say. "Iv had a lot more practice with my powers, I can defend myself if need be... From the giant flies." I laugh again, he rolls his eyes and walks off the ramp.

I look down at the kids, sleeping away and raise the ramp. Take seat in the pilot seat and take off, smoothly in order to not wake them. Before I know it I see the darkness of space and the twinkling stars for the first time in a year. I slump in my seat. Thinking of Kylo, he's somewhere out there. Either dead or looking for me.

But he stopped the connection, he could turn it back on.

I shake my head, press all the correct buttons and type in the coordinates for Naboo, to my meadow.

* * *

When I arrive the littles are still sleeping. So I lower the ramp and walk down into the meadow. Running my hands over the tall grass. Closing my eyes and soaki in the sun. It feels different here. Like home. This place feels like it calls to me, like I belong here.

I wore my best dress and took time brushing my hair before coming here. I wanted to feel totally different than the dirty mom on the island, running from the wrong of the resistance and the wrong of the first order. I don't know where our place in the galaxy lies. Without Kylo... I feel lost I grab my chest because I feel the hollowness in my heart. Where there should be something that was ripped out. I fall to my knees and cry, silently. Silent sobbing to myself. To my broken soul.

For the first time I really believe Kylo might be dead.

Ana starts fussing and calling for mama so I get up and wipe my tears. Walking back into the shuttle to grab my bag and unstrap the littles. I put Kylan down and let him walk off the shuttle while I follow close behind with Ana. Setting her down on the grass and fluffing a blanket to sit them on. I move Ana over and make Kylan sit while I hand the handfuls of Island berries to gobble up to keep them still. I lay down and let the sun hit my bare arms. Listening to the bustling waterfalls and the giggles of the twins, now throwing berries at each other.

We spend hours playing in the meadow. Me holding Ana while Kylan wobbles behind, his walking is strong for his little legs. I don't worry about him falling. Ana laughs and claps. Kylan giggling behind us. I move the blanket into the shade of the shuttle and lay the littles down, Ana passed out in my arms. I wait for Kylan to quickly fall sound asleep before walking over to the waters edge and dipping my toes in. The close waterfall misting on my hot skin. I pick some flowers and make a bundle for back on the island. I start gathering my stuff, ready to take the kids back but letting them sleep till I put everything away in the bag.

"Rey..." A deep voice from afar, so low but I can still here it. Calling to me. I drop the cup in my hand and slowly stand up, All the hair on my body stands up. Not knowing who was somewhere behind me.

I cautiously turn around and in the distance is a black hooded man. His face smothered by the shadow of the hood. My heart pounds in my chest. I start walking backwards towards the littles, sleeping peacefully in the shade of the wing.

"Don't run..." It says... I stop moving, something about the hooded man seems to catch my attention. I squint my eyes and try and see into the shadow.

My hands shoot to my mouth and my heart leaps from its place, thumping out of my chest, out of control. My eyes fill with uncontrollable tears.

"Ky...Kylo..." I want to run to the man but he hasn't removed his hood yet so I can't be to sure. I take a step forward... Being pulled in his direction, my heart filling with joy.

Slowly he raises his hands, both black and gloved and holds onto the brim of his hood, pausing for a second. My heart just can't take the anticipation. His hood drops and my heart stops.

"Kylo." I start running, as fast as I can through the field. He slowly walks towards me, through the blooming flowers and tall grass. I slam into him, hard. But he remains upright. Wrapping me in his embrace. Our lips meeting and it's like they never were separated. I wrap my arms so tight around his neck I don't know how he didn't suffocate. Tears draining from my eyes. He pulls back and places his forehead against mine and slowly lowers me to my feet.

"I'm here my love, I'm here." He says. Pulling me close so our bodies are flushed against each other, feeling his strong form through his shirt. I loosen my arms around him and just run my fingers through the hair at the nap of his neck.

"Where have you been? How did you find me? I was..." And then I stop and pull back, my mind registering his face a few second ago... His scar is gone.

I pull away just enough to look at him face. Iv missed his face so much.

"Your scar." I say, the words barley leave my mouth. He uses one hand sprawled on my back to hold me still as he reaches up and touches my face.

"I won Rey." He says. And gives me a quick soft kiss. "He's dead. I am now the Supreme Leader." He smiles, his smile much larger than I remember.

"You... Your the new leader?" I can hardly speak. I quickly peak around my shoulder back to the blanket with the sleeping toddlers. Kylo catches my glance and his fingers tighten.

"I want to see them." He says.

"Of course of course. Today is their birthday you know." I push off his chest and grab his hand, pausing for a second... It's much harder than I remeber, her gives me a small squueze and looks down at me.

"Today? Odd." He looks down at our hands intertwined, "We can talk about that later." He kisses me again and I start walking fast to the kids, pulling Kylo behind me till we stand directly in front of them.

"Anas a peaceful sound sleeper and Kylan is like you... Snores in his sleep." I laugh and wipe away some tears. His eyes never leaving the blanket. He squats down and takes off his right glove, which is still a flesh hand.

"I can't believe this is real right now, Iv dreamed of this moment." I say. He reaches up and runs his giant fingers over Anas small arm and then to Kylans. His hand trembling.

"So have I, I am sorry I waited so long. There were... complications..." He says. He stands back up. He still looks the same to me, except his scar is gone. I can't stop thinking about that, out of all things. I kinda liked it, it made him even more special because he loved me even though I did that to him.

"But you arnt connected to me anymore... You turned it off. For over a year... Left me wondering." I look down at the babies. Ana rustles in her sleep. Kylos posture changes as he straitens up.

"I had to do what I had to do, to make sure you were safe. Like I said, we have a lot to talk about." He frowns. My heart drops at the just sheer sight of him, how much I have longed to see him. I walk forward and wrap my arms around his ribs, burying my head under his neck and just holding him tight. He embraces me. Kissing my hair and brining his ungloved hand to the back of my neck, holding me tight. "It's okay, I'm never leaving you again."

I sniffle, "How did you know I was here, why can't I feel you... Why haven't you opened back up the connection?" I say, my words muffled by my sobs in his chest. I inhale his misty sent, filling my nostrils with it. A smell I never want to forget.

"I..." He starts, a loud noise comes from above us and I step out of the shade to see our other shuttle landing in the meadow. My heart pounding. Kylos eyes narrow at me.

"Its Poe." I say to him.

"The Resistance pilot." He says confused, his face slowly turning more angry.

"Yes, hes been very helpful while you have been away." I snarl at him. I turn my attention back to the landing shuttle. The ramp lowers and my throat is in my stomach. I try to talk but I can tell from Poe's expression he is misunderstanding the situation.

"Is this why you wanted to come here?! Is this why you wanted to come alone... did you plan on ever coming back?!" He yells. Every hair on my body stands up, caught between Kylo and Poe in a total misunderstanding.

Kylo raises his arm and I feel it, a push at my force as he searches all my memories of the past year and two months. I fall to my knees and through the muffles I hear running. Poe running to me but then it stops... but not close.

I look up and Kylo has his arm outreached to Poe, holding him mid run, Searching his thought, something I refused to do to him.

"You...you love her." His eyebrows narrow at Poe. I never thought of his affection as something of love, because no love could compare mine for Kylos. I always though of Poe as a great friend but from the outside it might look different. I wobble to my feet. Noticing that Kylan is standing up walking for his father, a man he has never yet but feels drawn to him. His arm upwards wanting to be held...

 **** Thank you readers! Kylo is back :) ****


	58. Chapter 58

***8* hi everyone! i apologize for my absence lately. i picked up a night job so my time to write has dwindled alittle, i promise to pick back up and hope you enjoy this chapter, i loved writing them all together. :) ****

Chapter 58: Family

The whole world stopped for a split second when Kylo bends down and picks up the child. Who looks so small in his arms. Kylan lays his head on his fathers shoulder and closes his eyes. The movement looks so natural to him.

Kylo raises his hand and runs it through his sons messy thick black hair. Soaking in everything about him that he can. He pauses, looking strait at Poe with narrow evil eyes.

"They are my family. Not yours." He raises his hand from Kylans sleeping head and waves Poe unconscious and looks back at me. "I haven't decided what to do with him yet... but you... come here.." He points to the ground in front of him. I take a quick glance at Poe, laying on his stomach in the ground. I slowly walk to I front of Kylo and reach to take Kylan from him but he grabs my hands in to his free hand. "Do you love him? The resistance pilot." He says. In a deep tone that indicates he is angry.

"No! Absolutely not! He has helped me out this last year. If it wasn't for him I'm sure I wouldn't be here right now. I have spent the last year and such waiting for you! You just left..." The tears start and he drops my hands. "I would just look at the stars and cry for you. YOU! I pushed with my thoughts, I tried to find you with the force, I couldn't sense if you were dead or alive! What did you do? Why did you leave me like that! For so long!" I wipe the running tears off my face and step awake. Turning away from him and cry into my hands. I hear him shuffle behind me and then his hands are on my shoulders and I look up to meet his face. He takes a deep breath while I look behind me to see Kylan sleeping next to Ana again.

"Do you want to talk about this right now?" He closes his eyes and when he opens them again them look sad, sunken, and depleted.

"I need to know." I say quietly. He pulls me in for a hug and kisses the top of my head before stepping away and rubbing his chin. Looking over at Poe and then back to me.

"When I left you that morning, I was torn between staying actually. I didn't want to leave my beautiful pregnant wife to send her to my forsaken mother, but I thought..." He winces. "She would keep you safe. But that proves once again I'm the only one who can keep you safe."

"And Poe." I say, his eyes narrow and he looks at lifeless looking Poe, making a disgusted face at him and back at me.

"By seclusion you on a fucking island." He says.

"Oh cause you secluding us is any better." I say. I

"Actually yes, because I'm your husband. Did you forget?" He says. I cross my arms and turn away. I don't want to be arguing with him right now. It's pointless no we have spent so much time apart that we are wasting our time now with bickering. Stubborn Kylo. "I spent the next few weeks in Bespin. I know your angry that I turned off the connection, and I promise to tell you how. But I only shut it off on your end. I could still feel you... I knew you were safe. I used the holo in Bespin to watch you."

He stop, inhaling the look of disbelief on my face.

"I use to watch you nap near the lake. Your belly growing big. I was planning my attack on Snoke..." The first time he has ever called him Snoke, he spits the words out with disgust. "But he decided to pay me a visit on Bespin, and he found out about you. I pleaded with him to let me explain, but he would have no such thing. He ordered the General to go and retrieve you. He was going to have me kill you in front of him Rey, I couldn't have that. So I..." He shuffles his feet. Uncomfortable. "I attacked him."

"But you won." I say. Reassuring him he did the right thing.

"I umm.." He runs the bridge of his nose. "I died." He says. He looks at me quick and back to the running water of the falls. "I lost part of my arm and my lower leg." He wiggles his left foot. "My heart stopped, but for some reason it was able to restart. A year ago today... And I tried to turn the connection back on but I couldn't. I don't know, maybe I'm messed up. I knew you came here with the babies after they were born, I was relieved to see you. I couldn't come just yet. I was healing... I was angry you were with him..." He runs his hand through his hair. "Then you left and that's when I couldn't find you."

"You died?..." I pause. "Well that explains things." He snaps his head in my direction.

"Explains what?" He says.

"Didn't you see when sifting through my memories? The ways the babies were born. My heart stopped." I say to him. He grabs my face and kisses me hard at the same time looking deeper into my memories for that day. His lips part from mine and he gasps.

"Maybe we broke the bond." He frowns.

"You should be happy. I won't be bothering you every second." I chuckle.

"I always want to be with you." He says, he closes his eyes and grabs me into a deep hug. Inhaling my sent. I forgot what it felt like to be held like this. I squeeze back. Taking in everything at once.

"You can't kill him. I will never forgive you..." I start but then I hear a shuffle next to me. Ana crawling off the blanket. I back away from Kylo and go and pick her up, rubbing the dirt off her little knees and hands. I look up and Kylo is just watching us. Ana r aching up and squeezing my nose and giggling. I walk over to him and hand her to her dad. He takes her with ease. More gentle than with Kylan.

Ana reaches up and runs his fingers down her little cheek.

"Just like her mother." He says as her eyes close and she leans into his big hand. "I won't kill him, not in front of the children. But you are coming with me. Right now." He says to me. I look down as Kylan wraps his little chubby arms around my leg. I look at the three of them and over to Poe, who is still unconscious on the field. I look up at Kylo.

"Okay." I say. Kylo smiles and surprises me by tossing Ana in the air. She smiles and giggles. My heart melting at the sight. Kylo leans down and scoops up Kylan in his other arm. Looking between the two of them. Memorizing their faces. The faces of his children that he has never met.

"We will finish talking about this later. They are waiting for us back on the ship. Things will be different now. Don't worry." He says.

"Can you wake him?" I ask. He looks over to Poe.

"No. You are to never speak to him again." He says and narrows his eyes at me. He starts to turn to walk up the ramp.

"How did you find me here?" Did you know I was going to be here?" I ask. He stops and turns back to me. Ana puts her arms out for me and starts to cry, I walk over to him and grab her. Instantly soothing her.

"I have had certain places under patrol. This place being one of them. I knew eventually you would find you way back. I actually am surprised it took so long." He says. He puts his free arm around me and continues me up my shuttle ramp. He sets Kylan down in his seat and I do Ana. I am surprised at what was Kylo is around the kids. He doesn't even second guess anything. Once the kids are buckled in I look out the ramp to Poe, still laying on the ground.

"You can't leave him like that Kylo. I will never forgive you..." He puts his hand up and stops me.

"I just got you back, I am not going to make a mess of things. He waves his hand in Poe's direction and slowly he starts to move his arms and then lift his head up to meet my gaze before Kylo shuts the ramp door. He drags me over to the co seat and sits down and takes control. The shuttle rumbling to life and off the ground. Before I know it we are in space.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"The SiderealStar." He smiles at me.

"You... You finished it." I ask. Amazed and also disgusted he has built such a weapon.

"Yes, I have had a lot of free time on my hands and... I needed to focus on something." He says. "The new troops work much faster than I inticipated. General Green has been assigned to command the Destroyer. I trust him." He says. He hits the hyperdrive bottom and we soon are in a swirl of blue.

I get a memory flashback of the Destroyer when we left Castle Heast. I mark to ask about that later. I just look at Kylos face and how much I have missed it. Missed him.

"I love you." I say. He turns to me and smiles. He slowly gets up from his seat and kneals in front of me. Leaning in for a kiss. Pulling me in to meet him halfway. It was a deep passionate kiss. A kiss I have desired for so long to come from his lips. He pulls away, his eyes still closed.

"I have waited for you to say that for what feels like a lifetime." He says. His eyes open, full of lust and love. "I love you too." He gives me another quick kiss and sits back in his seat. "We're here." And the shuttle shoots out of hype drive and a large metal planet, someone resembles the Starkiller, is in front of us. Covered in greenery and mountains. We fly low and land near a door in the side of a mountain. I can see the top of the mountain is surrounded by Windows. A place hidden in plane sight.

"This is massive." I say. He looks over at me and laughs.

"Welcome home. It's the safest place to be, I can assure you. I designed it myself of course. Plenty of space for them." He looks behind us to the kids passed out in their seats. Exhausted from a long day in the sun. Doesn't look like they will be getting much of it here and the idea saddens me. How is this prison any better than the island. Secluded from the world.

Is this how my whole life is going to be.

He gets up and goes to unbuckle Ana and cradles her in his big arm, she's to big for me to do that. I slowly pull Kylan to his seat and shift him to my front to lay his head on my shoulder, Kylo lowers the ramp and we slowly walk out. Greeted at the large metal doors by two Stormtroopers. They salute Kylo and stand like that till we are inside. I can already feel Kylos power among them.

"Does everyone here know about us?" I whisper once inside. We load onto a small elevator and Kylo hits a few buttons, I feel the elevator jolt upwards slowly.

"Around here, Yes." He says. "Their lives are programmed to defend you three." His eyes serious. Ana shuffles in her fathers arms. We reach the top and the doors open. I'm amazed and taken back.

A comfortable roomy living room, large and open with a view of the Siderealstar that could take your breath away. Land and woods for as far as I can see. I see a hallways on the left, an open doorway leading to what I can partially make out as a kitchen, and then two large wooden doors beside it.

"Do you like it?" Kylo says, placing his hand on my lower back and easing me forward into the living room. "I built it especially for us, for Ana and Kylan." He looks at the sleeping boy on my side. What a long day they have had. "I like his name." He smiles at me.

"He's heavy." I note to him.

"Oh yes, their rooms." He says. He walks towards the hallway. "Iv been waiting so long for this." He walks about halfway down the long hallway and opens a wide door, gesturing me to walk in first. Inside the room are dark blue walls, painted with a black rubbed paint to resemble space. White dots for stars. A large round crib with blue fabric around the bars, and a tall black matching dresser.

"Fit for a Prince." I smile up at him. When Kylan wakes up he is going to love this. I lay him down in the bed on the soft black satin sheet, covering him with the dark blue blanket laying over the side. He looks majestic in the soft light. A window covered in dark shades is on the far wall over a small black bench. I turn and slowly walk out the room, closing the door behind me.

He turns and walks to the next door. He slowly opens it to a brighter, white and grey room. Resembling the clouds in Bespin on the walls. A white round crib, draped in white nylon. Accents of yellow surround the room, resembling sunshine. He slowly walks over to the crib and lays Ana down, covering he with a white blanket and rubbing her head before turning to me. It's dimly lit. Perfect for a nap, they will be up soon.

We walk out of the room and I let out a long held in breath. A sigh of relief. For the first time ever they have actual beds... rooms... I start crying. Overwhelmed by the day, still in shock I'm here with Kylo. Poe's confused face as we left. I cover my eyes with my hands, trying to forget the image. What is he going to tell Finn, Burg... He's bound to go back to the Resistance and tell them I turned. I never got a chance to explain.

I feel Kylo wrap his arms around me.

"I wish I could feel what your feeling, I miss it. Iv missed you so much Rey." He kisses the top of my head, causing me to cry harder. Iv missed him. His touch, his smell, his everything.

But what I miss the most we don't have anymore.

"How will you still love me if you can't be connected with me?" I pull away and look up to him.

"There is so much else to love about you." He breaths. "And maybe we can try and spark it back up." He leans in a kisses me. My insides bubbles and heat. I want this too. He leans down, without breaking a kiss, and swoops me into his arms. I pull back and giggle.

"Can I shower first?" I say. Almost embarrassed.

"Of course. I'll make you something to eat." He says. He gives me another kiss and carries me to infront of the two large doors. "Caring you over the threshold." He smiles and kisses my forehead. He closes his eyes and the doors open. He steps forward and sets me down.

We are in a large black and red room. A large dark wood bed with tall posts is in the middle of the room, large windows scaling the walls covering in sheer back shades, masking most of the outside glare. Two large dressers and a... vanity. I walk over to the bed and run my hands over the soft fur blanket over red satin sheets. The headboard covered in a surplus of black fur pillows and red sleek pillows. I could sleep for days here. I look over to Kylo, who is leaning against the doorway. Hand overnights chin, just watching me with a smirk on his face.

"I don't believe you designed this." I laugh.

"Well when your the ruler of the Dark Side, you get whatever you want." He says.

"Weren't you kinda the ruler before?" I ask, looking over his perfect structured face. Now even more handsome with the scar gone.

"I was... But I had no need for these things. And Snoke would of never approved." He snickers. "The fresher is through those doors. Your clothes are in the short dresser. I'll be waiting for you." He leans away and the doors close behind him. I'm alone in this master room. I shake my head and walk into the large black marble bathroom. A large glass wall shower with two shower heads on one end and a wall to wall black tub. I run my fingers along the sink and look up at myself. I'm thin, frail. My hair is so long and wavy. I need a good wash and a good meal.

For awhile I let the hot water hit me. Enjoying the feeling. When done I finger curl my hair and brush my teeth. Making myself as nice as I can. I walk over to the drawers. Curious of what I'll find. Kylo was so prepared we would be here one day.

I search through, find a bra and underwear... I flush when I see them. Picturing Kylo buying these.

I dress in black tight pants and a black long sleeve. There is more in there but this deemed appropriate. I walk out into the living room, slowly. Kylo is standing, looking out the window. I walk over to him and touch his arm, his eyes widen when he looks down at me, running his fingers through my hair.

"You have been away far to long." He says.

"I was just waiting for you." I say. I look at his hands one still covered in the glove. "Can I see?" I ask. He lifts his right hand and wiggles his fingers. He lifts his left and and slowly takes of his right glove. A black metallic hand emerges he pulls up his sleeve. It stop right under his elbow.

"It doesn't hurt." He says and smiles at me. He lowers his sleeve and puts his glove back on. I look around the room and in the corner my eyes focus upon something that makes my skin tense. His helmet. He notices I'm staring at it.

"Do you still wear it?" I whisper.

"Of course." He says.

"I almost forgotten what it looked like. I always just pictured your face." I say. He grabs my chin and slowly makes me look at him.

"Your face never left my mind. I felt so empty without you. So... Alone." He says. His other hand reaches around and sprawls out on my back. Just then my stomach rumbles. I look down and frown. Of all times...

"I made you some food. We have all the time in the world together. Your home Rey, right where you should be. And I will NEVER let you go. I love you." He leans down and kisses my neck, he stops when he notices the chain above my collar, just tucked in my shirt. He leans back and slowly pulls the chain up to revel the small carving he gave me before he left. He runs his hands over it.

"I never gave up hope we would see each other again. No man could ever replace you. I would have waited a lifetime." I say.

"Thank you." He says.

"For what?" I tilt m head to the side, my hair tumbling over my shoulder.

"For never giving up hope." He leans in an kisses me. Letting the necklace dangle down. He grabs my hand softly and kisses it. And leads me to the black marble kitchen with a eat in breakfast nook. It's cozy, fit for a small family. On the table is a sand which and a glass of milk.

I turn and reach up and kiss his cheek... "We will continue this..." I lean and kiss his lips... "Later..." And I kiss his other cheek.

 ****But we all know good things dont last..."**


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59: Adjusting

Halfway through my sand which I hear Ana call for me.

"Mama, mama." I hear. I scoot from the chair and walk into the empty living room, Kylo nowhere to be seen but our bedroom door cracked open so he must be in there. I walk through the hallway to Anas room and slowly open the door. She just sitting in her crib, looking at all the new things to her. The walls and decorations. Her eyes wide with wonder until she spots me and smiles. She puts her hands out and I slowly walk to her.

"Hi my princess. Did you have a nice nap?" I say to her while scooping her onto my hip and walking around the room, rummaging through drawers looking for necessities. Kylo was fully prepared. I find her a new outfit and change her diaper and clothes. Running my fingers through her thick black tossed hair. Gathering it into a small ponytail on top her head. "Perfect." I scoop her up off the floor and walk over to Kylans room to wake and change him.

When I'm done I walk into the living room with a baby on each hip and to my surprise Kylo is sitting on the couch. Just watching us. Ana lets out a giggle and Kylan bops her on the cheek. She retaliates by pushing him.

"Stop you two." They both look at me and stop. I set them down on the couch and in a matter of seconds they are off and causing mischief. Ana holding onto the couch for support as she stands. Kylan walking over to the large windows and tapping on it.

"Kylan stop..." I start to walk over to stop him. Kylo grabs my wrist as I walk by, stopping me.

"They can't break anything, that glass can sustain a blast from any ship. I'm sure it's baby prof." He pulls me down and I fall into his lap. He starts trailing kisses down my exposed neck, sends shivers through my spin. I crumble into his arms and he swiftly moves so his laying on top of me on the couch. I look over at Ana, just bouncing up and down while grabbing to the side of the couch, close to my head. Just looking at us. Looking at Kylo. I look back up and Kylo who is still looking over me and Ana.

"Are they everything you thought they would be?" I ask. He looks down at me, just looking over my face. I get butterflies in my stomach, almost like he is a forbidden fruit I shouldn't be eating. But iv longed for him for so long. My insides crave his touch, to make this all a reality. Finally here with him.

"More." He leans down and kisses me, digging his erection into my thigh. He lets out a small groan from his throat. He pulls away and just touches my cheek. I close my eyes and just enjoy his warmth. I open my eyes and look at him.

"I need to make them something to eat." I say.

"I have to make a few calls. We will finish this later." He leans down and gives me a small kiss before pushing himself up, his weight shifting off me almost makes me sad. He puts a hand out to help me up. I take his left hand and stand up to we are flush against each other. "I don't know how much longer I can't wait." He rolls his eyes and kisses my neck and pulls away, going off into one of the other doors in the hallway.

It takes me a second to compose myself. I don't even like not being in the same room as Kylo now. I long for his touch. I still don't believe I'm actually here. I chase Kylan around, tickling him once I reach his silly self. I scoop him up and blow kisses on his shifted shirt that is exposing his chubby belly.

"Want to eat?" I say to him, he stops wiggling under my grasp. He loves to eat. I set him down and hold his hand as we slowly walk to Ana. I pick her up from the floor as she slowly crawls to make her way to the window. "Come here little girl." I pick her up in my arm, facing her outward on my hip. I bring them into the kitchen and look around for somewhere to sit them and feed them. I decide to set them on the floor and look around for something for them.

After supper I take the kids into Anas room, pulling out some of the small toys in the corner, Kylo really was so prepared. The thought of if he never found us and this being an empty room forever saddens me. The three of us play on the fluffy white round rug on the floor. It's softer than any fur iv ever felt. Of course it is.

"Have they shown any signs of force yet?" He says. Startling me. I turn around and he's standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Don't scare me like that." I say and laugh. I stand up from the floor and walk over to him wrapping me arms around him and just snuggling into his chest. He is wearing the pants I love and a black short sleeve shirt. His electronic silver arm in full view. I look down at it, examining it. It doesn't bother me. If anything it makes him more alluring.

"Do they?" He asks. I totally forgot he even asked a question.

"Oh, no. Not yet." I say. "Is that a bad thing?" I pull away, leaving my fingers interlocked behind his back.

"Not necessarily." He says and looks over me at the two precious littles playing with the blocks on the floor. "Usually starts around one." He smiles and looks down at me. Without answering I just burry my head into his chest again. Inhaling his scent.

"Like they not already a handful." I laugh.

"Their perfect." He says and kisses the top of my head. "I need to leave for a few hours. I have something to take care of."

I let go and step back.

"But...but... I just got here." I say. Tears welling in my eyes. I am not trying to sound needy. But I crave his affection right now, and the last thing I want him to do is leave.

"I know love, I know." He steps forward and grabs my face, using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. "It only for a short time. I am the Supreme Leader now. My presence is needed in certain places at certain times. You must understand that." He sighs, kissing my forehead and looking at me again. "You, Kylan, and Ana are always going to be my main priority. I swear. But in order to keep you safe, I need to keep order. Okay?"

His demeanor is so calm, everything about him right now just convinces me he is telling truth. This man loves me, and I know that now more than ever. Building us a palace in the mountains... Ironically on top of the biggest weapon in the galaxy.

Sometimes I still find it hard to hide my anger and disgust for the First Order, because my love for him surpasses that hate.

"Oh Kay." I whisper back.

"I'll be back before your ready to go to bed." He smiles at me. He rubs another tear off my cheek and kisses me softly on the lips before slowly slipping away into the hallway. He's gone before I even open my eyes. My heart sinks but I snap back and realize I can't fall apart, not now, not in front of the babies. I turn and continue playing with them, suddenly overwhelmed with feelings that I'm forced to burry for the moment.

A few hours pass, the kids are feed, bathed, and ready for bed. Their eyes heavy. I take my time, tucking each one baby in and admiring their relaxed sleeping faces. Thankful that I have beds to put them in.

I slowly shut Ana's door and walk out into the living room to pick up the mess from today. Looking around the room at the messed up pillows, some loose little toys that made their way out here, and the blanket piled on the floor makes me laugh. For the first time in so long I feel at home. My heart sinks, realizing Kylo isn't here.

So I clean up everything quick. Making sure not to leave a thing out of place. I watch out the window for while at the terrain down below. It's rough with woods, reminds me of the Starkiller to much and my body shivers. I hear the main doors behind me slide opens and jump, startled. I turn around clutching my chest in shock. It's just Kylo... But he's wearing full uniform. Head to toe, and I haven't seen him like this in what seems like a lifetime. For once I'm actually intimidated by it.

"Oh," I gasp. He reaches up and unhisses his helmet. His black hair falling perfectly in place along the sides of his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." He says. He walks over and places his helmet down on the corner pedestal before looking at me with his soft eyes.

"You didn't." I say.

"Your lying." He says. "Does it intimidate you?" He points to his mask.

"Yes but no. I guess it will just take some time to adjust to it again. The kids are asleep, they should be fine all night." I say. He smiles wide and as he makes his way over to me, he starts stripping off his extras. He throws his gloves on the couch, his cloak on the floor and undoes his boots and tosses them to the side before reaching me. Embracing me in his arms. "Iv waited all day for this. Not that I didn't want to see the kids. But I just needed..." He squeezes me a little tighter so I return by giving him a light squeeze back. My heart flutters. "...I just need to touch you. To make sure your really here."

"I feel the same way." My eyes still closed, my cheek buried in his chest. He pulls away and looks at me from head to toe and in a swift motion, scoops me into his arms. I let out a loud laugh in surprise. Wrapping my arms around his neck. He starts walking to the bedroom.

We kicks open the slightly cracked door and heads strait for the bed. Lightly tossing me on it before stripping off another layer of his clothes. I watch as he undoes his arm wrap, paying close attention the the mechanics of his right hand. Only the best.

"What does it feel like?" I say quietly. I don't wanna ruin the mood but the question flowed out involuntarily. He finishes unwrapping and looks at me.

"Nothing." He says. His bare arms make my insides heat. Just seeing him in general is hard to believe I'm actually married to this God.

He's standing at the side of the bed in just his pants, tossing his shirt to the side. My eyes tracing every perfect line of of muscles, he's built for speed and defense. He catches me staring.

"Is everything okay?" He ask, snapping me out of it.

"Yeah, yeah..." I look up at him. "I just..." He's batting his eyelashes at me in that way that I between my legs starts to simmer. "I'm admiring your more defined muscles." I say. Trying to be serious but I want to smile and laugh at myself.

"Iv had to release my anger in training... Maybe a little excessively." He laughs. He kneals on the edge of the bed and start crawling to me, I'm sitting cross legged on the far side. Effortlessly he grabs my ankle and pulls me fast underneath him, pinning me on my back under him.

It feels like the first time all over, nervous to touch his bare skin with my hands. My fingers trembling.

"What's wrong? " He says.

"Nothing," I blink up at him. "Kiss me."

He shakes his head, smiling and leans down and kisses me. For a few minutes our bodies intertwine together. In a motion of love and need. My hands in his hair and on his back. He grunts and pulls away.

"Your still dressed." He says. Looking down at my clothes. He pulls away till he is on his knees over my ankles. He reaches up and slowly pulls down my pants. Taking his time as more exposed skin comes into sight, he bites his bottom lip and bends my leg to pull them all the way off. He repeats on the other ankle. I feel so exposed. Just in my underwear and tshirt now. I slowly slide my ankles out from under him and sit up. I reach down and pull my shirt off, just leaving me in my bra and underwear. Kylos eyes scan the surfaces of my skin before meeting my gaze. "Your so beautiful."

He shuffles over to me, grabbing my face and kissing me. And the. Somehow sweeping me on top of him so he is on his back and I'm Stratford over him. Kissing him slowly and deeply. I feel his erection pressing against the thin fabric separating us.

He lets out a moan and I push down and rubbing against him. His hands leave my face, slowly skimming down my body and cupping my butt. I let out a little giggle and pull back. He smiles big up at me and flops me onto my back. Running his hand up the back of my thigh and down my leg, slowly back up and traveling his thumb over the thin fabric of my underwear. I slowly arch my back, the heat burst between my legs.

Wanting more. He kisses my neck slowly and he moves the underwear to the side with his finger and runs his thumb down my sex. He stops for a second when his finger comes into contact with how wet I am.

His other hand under my back tenses and he continues, inserting his thumb and starting a circular motion, my whole body shivers and heats. I let out a small moan. He pulls away,creating a cool breeze. He slips my underwear off. And slowly pulls off the rest of his clothes, I sit up and unhook my bra while he isn't looking, when he turns back his eyes drop to my now exposed breasts and back to my face. His eyes full of desire. He reaches up and runs his finger down my breast, circling my nipple and over to my side and down.

"I have never seen something so beautiful. And to think know your only mine..." He runs his hands up my arms and slowly lowers me onto the bed, laying on top of me. He starts kissing my neck, slowly moving to my collarbone before sucking on my breast a little. Giving me a small bite and then pulling back up to meet our needing lips.

His kiss is deep, he runs his length along my dripping opening, teasing. I have never wanted him more than in this moment. I have never wanted anything more. He pulls his lips away, positions himself just right before entering. In a swift motion he fills me. My finger grip into his back and I told my head back. Both our eyes shut we feel it at the same time.

The spark.

The return.

I feel the force shift around us, twirling around like an uncontrolled storm. The items on the dresser start to vibrate. I open my eyes and look up to meet Kylos, so full of love and passion. He slowly starts moving in and out. Pushing alittle deeper and harder each time. I feel him entering my soul, my void filling. It starts from our contact and slowly seeps up to my heart and then pours through my body. The warm tingling sensation, his life coming together with mine.

He slows his pace, "I can feel your..." He mumbles against my neck and he trails kisses and his hips rotate into mine. The heat growing.

"I can too." I say, arching my back when a slow foreign feeling enters my heart, one not mine but Kylos, his need.

His need to please me, both here and out of the bedroom. A need to be a great father, better than his own. And a need to protect. Protect what he loves. His love filling me with joy, happiness, completeness.

I have never loved this man more than I do now, to know what loosing him would now mean. To know what being apart is. I will never do anything to loose this. I will do anything to protect my family... He picks up his rhythm and I feel my body ready to explode, I can feel Kylo too. He's ready. I climax, my whole body releasing. Ready to collapse. And he slows and stops. Panting on top of me his fingers digging into my hip.

He pulls out and shuffles to lay next to me. Wrapping me in his arms. Kissing the back of my neck. I slowly drift into sleep. My body exhausted.

* * *

I wake to an empty bed, pitch blackness except for a crack of the door being open. I pull the satin sheet off the bed and wrap it around me. Making my way to slowly open the door. I see Kylo, standing legs slightly parted, in his pants I love, with his hands behind his back. I take not of his left mechanical foot, I didn't even notice in bed.

He senses me and turns slowly. His eyes looking me up and down. My hair a mess, and a blanket warped around my chest, arms exposed. One leg popping out.

"I have never seen you look more radiant." He says. I slowly walk to him, reaching up with my hand not hold the blanket up and touch his face.

"I feel it all again, everything. Like you never left." I smile at him. He places his hand over mine and leans against it.

"I know. It's wonderful." He says.

"Can I ask you something?" I say. He pulls my hand down but doesn't let go of it.

"Anything." He says.

"Can you tell me about how you killed Snoke?" I ask. Worried about his reaction but I need to know. I want to know what happened to him. I want to know everything and right now his guard is town, maybe he will tell me more.

"Okay..." He says. He turns and looks out the window and back down and my hand and tuning it over to examine the lines in my palm.

And then k hear it, in the back of my mind. The voice that hasn't invaded my head in so long, but I welcomed it. Closing my eyes and absorbing the feeling of him again.

'It all started...'

 ****Thank you everyone for just being so patient and kind, i love the reviews and all the support! Your are all amazing :) 3 -SSL****


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60: Snoke

 **** Hi everyone! I'm going to tell this chapter in 3rd person from the day of Kylo and Snokes big fight. It's easier to get more detail in this way. Back to Rey next chapter!**

 **So many are probably wondering why I have been MIA for a week and I sincerely apologize. Life(marriage) got in the way and I found it hard to sit down and focus on this story so I took a little break to clear my head. I am sorry for the delay! i hope to get another chapter uploaded later tonight :) ******

Kylo pushes everything off his desk at his house in Bespin. Frustrated that he can't be with Rey, holding her, touching her. He can only watch from after on the holo after all the Knights have surely left. He closes his eyes tight, thinking of her smell, her long brown hair. Her warmth mostly.

He has been trying to think of ways to kill Snoke, but nothing seems to have a good outcome when the odds are weighed. He knows he has to do it soon, the longer he waits the longer he is away from his wife who could give birth any day.

A knock on the door echos through the house. It's almost pitch black in there. He doesn't dare open the shades and let light in, it makes him think of her. He stomps to the door and waves his hand to open it. Much to his surprise it is Supreme Leader.

"My lord, I was not expecting you. What do I owe this visit too?" Kylo says, Snoke gracefully walks in and looks around, making a disapproved face at the mess of the house. Kylo has been sleeping on the couch. He can't sleep in bed. It's to lonely without her.

"I have come to check on you my boy. You have been awfully distant. I see no progress. Have you found the scavenger? She is to not be given another chance." His eyes narrow at Kylo. He is thankful for his mask, he's able to hide his expression of pure disgust.

"No my lord. She has... disappeared. I simply can not find her. She must have gone back to the resistance and being protected." He says. He remembers when he told Snoke Rey had escaped and tried to make it as believable as possible. He fears Snoke has some how sensed his lies. Knowing very well of his punishments.

"I see that, but you swore to me you would find her. She knows to much now. I thought bringing her here would show her that we have much more to offer her than whatever the resistance could. But she choose her path, and now you must show her consequence." Snoke says sourly. He looks at Kylo and narrows his eyes in a sense that he knows Kylo will follow his every command.

"My lord, don't you think.." Kylo starts but Snoke wants to hear no more.

"You have grown fond of the girl?" He says. Kylo starts to pace around the room, trying to control the anger the boils in his veins.

"I have not, but she was my apprentice for almost a year. I have taught her many things. I think she isn't going to come without a fight." Kylo says.

"Do you fear her?" Snoke runs his grimy white hands along the back of the couch while walking to the stairs. He stops and looks up the spiral stairs before making his way to Kylos desk. Immediately Kylo walks over, trying to hide the scramble papers on the floor before Snoke saw. Under the pictures was the small screen tablet with the video of the twins.

"I do not hold no fear to no one. Your training and guidance has taught me to be fearless. I will find her, I just need time. My knights and I are looking." Kylo straitens up and motions for them to walk back over to the other side of the room.

"She knows to much!" Snoke glares at Kylo. Nervously Kylo walks over and punches in a few numbers before the door slides open, motioning for Snoke to walk with him, and Snoke does... Much to Kylos surprise he follows. Snoke snickers at Kylo as he walks past him, always walking a step ahead of Kylo. Together they walk down the hall in the clouds. Kylo looking out thinking about how much Rey loved looking out the windows here, she was so amazed at the view. The simplest things please her, he smiles to himself at the thought of her but his heart aches for her.

He can feel her, her sadness and it kills him. He knows she misses him just as much and he hates himself for parting with her.

They reach the end of the bridge and walk into the main room. Arsland waiting by the holo surprises Kylo. He was not expecting him to be here. He is confused at the site of him. Kylo stops right before the step down onto the floor where the holo is sitting, Snoke walks over to Arsland and places his hand on his shoulder.

"You have done well, you may leave." Snoke says to Arsland. He nods and proceeds to walk toward on of the doors but Kylo raises his hand and freezes Arsland mid step.

"What are you talking about?" Kylo directs his answer at Snoke. The Supreme Leaders eyes narrow at Kylo as he walks around he holo, glaring at him. He taps the side button and Kylos heart almost stops at the sight he sees.

Tie fighters shooting at Maz's new castle, settling it to dust. Kylo looks over to Arsland and without a second to spare he crunches his hand and stops his heart. No pity, no time for explaining, no chance to even defend himself. Kylo takes no mercy.

"It seems you have been keeping busy." Snoke says bitterly, sending chills down Kylos spins. He knows that now he will have to execute his plan of attack. Thankful for his mask, hiding his face that is twisted in disgust. His hand moves to his saber, Snoke eyes his action and then proceeds to reach under his cloak and grabs his own saber. Something Kylo has only witnessed one time as a young child when Snoke first took him under his wing.

"You don't understand." Kylo says through his teeth.

"HAVE I NOT TRAINED YOU WELL?!" Snoke yells. "Love is an illusion. Love is not real. She used you and you fell for it my poor boy. Love will get you killed, the idea of love freaks of death. And now, you here... You want to fight me to protect her?" Snoke hisses thro his teeth. Upset his apprentice has turned on him.

"Love is nothing like you described. Her light... it calls for me. She is my soulmate and I will not allow you to take her from me like you have everything else." Kylo ignites his saber, the red crackling next to him. He sees the tie fighters turn towards the direction of Rey's castle. He wipes his head back to Snoke. "Yes, I would die for her but today I kill for her and my children." Snokes eyes widen and he ignites his saber, a black saber with a black light. Except his saber gives off no glow like Kylos red saber. Instead, it's black cracking is even more dangerous, specially in the dark. It's invisible to an opponent. Kylos grip tightens.

In a sea of red and black sparks, Kylo joins sabers mid air with Snoke. Together the fight, but Kylo knows all Snokes tricks... he taught them all to him.

"I have sent the Destroyer to kill her, General Green will obey anything I tell him to do. Your lover no more." Snoke hisses. And with the force he shift the holo to the image of the Destroyer, closing in on where Rey is. He can feel her fear, something is wrong.

Kylo jumps back just dodging the saber that swings down toward him, hes must faster than Snoke. Kylo swings around just in time to hit Snoke's side with the hilt of his saber but a stunning pain erupts from his left leg and he falls over, looking down to notice his leg is missing but there is no blood, thanks to the saber for searing it shut. The image sends Kylos blood boiling and he pulls himself up and without a second to spare he lunges at Snoke, holding onto the small railing and using it for momentum.

Snoke is surprised and from the palm of his hand a spark emerges. A static electricity only the great of the great seem to acquire. Kylos flinches but doesn't stop his winging, still holding onto the railing for mere support as his one leg is missing.

Kylo falls back and rolls over to the side and from under Snoke he digs the Saber into his side, through and through, but he missed his crucial point. His heart.

Snoke comes back swinging and with a flick of his wrist he send a shock through Kylos body unlike any pain that he has ever felt. Kylo withdraws his saber and hurls over, feeling the Snoke will use this to his advantage and swing down at Kylo. Kylo remains careful to not damage the holo because he will need it to locate Rey, so he tucks and rolls out from under Snoke just in time to see his saber hit the floor.

"You have betrayed me Kylo Ren, for the love of a scavenger." Snoke hisses. His word make him even more angry as Kylo drag himself up. "Do you really think you will be able to rule the galaxy?!"

"She is not a scavenger. She is even more powerful than even you can ever hope to be." Kylo launches himself at Snoke, plunging his Saber right into his heart, the force of the impact causes Snokes body to give out an electric charge through the saber, up Kylos arm and He feels it... in his heart. The charge. He looks into Snokes eyes as the black starts to cloud his vision. Together they sink to the floor, Kylo cant move his hand holding the saber, he cant move his body at all. The static still giving off little charges, he feels his chest being crushed. His heart slowing down. His last thought, of Rey running in the meadow. The sun glistening off her skin... and then blackness.

* * *

He wakes up in a sterile room, wearing fresh new black linens, in his medical room on the Destroyer. His body heavy, he goes to wipe his brow with his right hand but it feels to light when he moves his arm. He sits strait up in bed, looking down at his arm where his once right hand and forearm use to be. there was nothing there. and under the indent of the blanket he could see the reminder of his left leg gone too. He falls back onto the pillow.

"DRRROIIDDD!" He yells out.

"You finally woke up." A chuckle from the door erupts. Kylo opens his eyes and is looking right at General Green. His arms crossed and his mood light. He starts walking to Kylo. "I wasnt sure what I was going to find when I arrived at Bespin. I didnt think a dead Supreme Leader and Knight. You.. half living on the floor." He looks down at his arm. "There was no saving that, Im sorry."

"Why are you helping me? I killed Snoke." Kylo says. Sitting up in bed and looking at the General Green.

"Thats exactly why. I may not like you, but Rey saved my life. I owed it to her, regardless... She is going to need you in your... situation." He lifts an eyebrow at Kylo. "I also has a strong hate for that son of a bitch."

"Do you know where she is?" Kylo says. Wondering what the General really knows. He tries to pry but his head is pounding and decides now is not the time.

"No, last we saw was a vessel leaving Takodana with a registered 3 lifeforms. I let them go... I didnt know..." He says.

"No, no. You did the right thing. I should be thanking you." The general is surprised by Kylos kind words. Taken back by the gratitude of the King of Knights. "How long have I been out?"

"A week Sir. I suppose you are the new Supreme Leader?" The general says almost nervously. He is still threatened by the power of Kylo. The man able to kill the strongest man in existence. He could of let Kylo die but he deems him useful and a strong alliance instead. "The droid will be here soon to fit you for your new prosthesis."

"Perfect. I must get back to work as soon as possible. I must find Rey." Kylo shifts uncomfortably. "Start preparations for the Star and prep the rest of the clones. We must act fast. The Resistance will think of this as a weakness and try to attack. We need to be prepared and shock them when the realize how much stronger we now are."

"Agreed Sir. I will tell the troops." General Green tips his head and turns and exists. Leaving Kylo to only his thoughts and to the realization he cant feel Rey anymore. His stomach twists... What has happened?


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61: Hearts

His words stun me, his story elaborate and terrifying. The idea of Snoke attacking him, the idea of anyone hurting him makes me sick. I knew there would be a battle. That's why he sent me away. But I didn't think I would be so sicken by the actual event itself. A Knight betraying his Master, Kylo trusted him. Another person to let him down. What of the rest of the Knights?

I scoot over to him and crawl onto his lap and wrap my arms around him. In this moment I need to be comforted as much as he does. To be held and loved. To feel that this is real, now it's hitting me... we are really all together. Tears for in my eyes and I grab his face, kissing him hard. Taking him in, his hands tighten around me, sprawling his one over my side. He kisses me back with just as much intensity. Then his hand travels under the sheet, my body naked and ready for him to pull me even closer.

I crave him, his touch... his lips... his everything. I didn't think I did, when I was with Poe, I thought I remained strong. Always putting the kids first. Of course I missed Kylo, but I prepared myself that he wasn't coming back. Now that he's here I couldn't be more thankful for it. I soak him in, tears falling down my cheeks through our kiss, I can taste the salt. I know he can but he's won't break away, running his hand down my thing and up my side. Giving me chills. I pull away for a second to catch my breath, exhaustion hitting me. I'm still tired. He reaches up and wipes a tear from my eye.

"It be unfair for me to take advantage of you right now. Your freezing," he chuckles, "you need sleep, I think I might have overloaded you, it's okay.. We will talk more tomorrow." He scoops me up in his arms and carries me to bed. He scoots in beside me and holds me tight. "We have the rest of our lives together. No one will separate us again." He whispers and kisses my cheek, my mind heavy and I pass out quickly.

* * *

"Mama!" I hear a faint cry. Ana. I scoot from bed, Kylo snoring behind me and I quickly pick up pace to Anas room, I'm not use to being so far away. I walk into her, sitting in bed, clapping and laughing. My sweet little Ana. But from the corner of my eye I see what appears to be her blocks, levitating in the corner. Spinning as she claps.

"Ana, stop that." I say, stunned by the sight. Kylo was right, one year... He will be thrilled to find out one of them started to show but I am not ready to bring it up. Ana drops the blocks and looks at me. Smiling. "Sweet baby, let's just enjoy a few days of normalcy before things get crazy. Okay?" I say, though she is young she is smart. I know she understands what I'm saying. She giggles. I quickly change her and wake Kylan.

Together I let them play in Kylans room till I finish making them breakfast. I can feel them, playing... I can feel their emotions unlike anyone else. I know what they are doing when I'm not there. Hands wrap around my stomach. Making me jump.

"Shh," Kylo whispers in my ear. I was so focused on the kids I wasn't paying attention to Kylos force. Iv missed being so close to you..." He runs his nose along the back of my ear, sending chills down my spine.

"Iv missed it too." I smile and finish stirring the oatmeal while Kylo squeezes me closer to him. He kisses the small opening through my hair where my neck was exposed and he pulls away and walks back to the living room, towards the kids.

This is how a family is suppose to be.

As the kids are eating breakfast I have a realization that having Dalah here might be a real help. "Kylo?" I ask, I don't know why I still feel nervous around him, he is my husband.

"Yes my love?" He answers back while he bounces Ana on his knee from the far side of the couch.

"Is there any possible way to get Dalah here for me? I could really use her help." I say, looking else wear than at him. I don't want him thinking I'm incapable of taking care of the chi,Daren, Dalah would just allow me and him to have more time together when he is here. I have no idea when he is leaving again. Because that's the question... When... Not if.

"Absolutely. I'll send for her later today." His cheerful tone puts a smile on my face and I finally make eye contact with him, from the corner of my eye watching fascinated Kylan play by the window with some blocks. "Is something worrying you?" He gets up from the couch and set Ana down near Kylan and he proceeds to make himself comfortable right next to me under the soft blanket I found in the bedroom. Iv been running my fingers up and down it, enjoying the softness of it.

"No, no, I'm fine." I weak smile at him. He looks past me at his helmet on its pedestal near the wall. He looks back at me and reaches up and runs his long fingers along my jaw, giving me the chills. I lean into his touch, his skin much warmer than mine.

"Your freezing." He says, his eyes narrow.

"I'm sorry," I pull the blanket tighter around me, "I'm just use to warmer weather, that's all." Kylo wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap. I can feel his heat through his thin tshirt. It's so warm, a heat more alluring than the sun. He wraps the blanket around us. Even in my black sweatpants, long tshirt, and thick socks... The cold here is piercing,

He is my sun.

'Better?' His warm voice soothes my mind, hearing him in there is comforting. Iv missed it. I snuggle closer.

"Much." I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment.

"I love you so much, there where times I never thought I would see you again. It drove me mad." He squeezes a little tighter.

"I also had days like that. I would stare at the stars wondering if you were staring at them too. I was alway grateful for the babies, it brought me closer to you. It gave me hope."

"I must go take care of something. I promise to be back before bed." He says. I pull away, looking at him. I shouldn't be surprised... I am cuddling the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Ehhh, the though makes me sick. I don't see that when I look at him, this kind gentle soul I have come to love and who has shown me great love. But in reality he is evil, dark, mysterious, and dangerous. Though I trust him with our 3 lives more than I trust my clumsy self.

"Ok." I say. Why argue, why ask him to stay when he has to go, why put our lives in danger trying to prevent him from doing what he has to do? I refuse to get in the middle of anything that has to do with the First Order, specially if it involves the resistance. My friends.

"I don't want to, but I have to. I will not be like Snoke, I will show up and do my dirty work myself. Everyone will know to fear me, not just the idea of me." His fingers flex alittle but he relaxes and kisses my cheek. "Do you fear me?" He whispers against my cheek. He says it in a way that sounds sad, he doesn't want me to be afraid of him. He wants me to think of us as equals but he's wrong...

"Yes." I say. He pulls away, his face sad.

"But you shouldn't, now that we can begin your training again... You will be my Empress someday and everyone will come to fear you just as well." He says. His words send a shockwave down my whole body. Is that what he ultimately wants?

"But I don't want that." I say. Looking at him closely. He arches his eyebrow.

"Oh no?" He chuckles. "You don't want to rule? Or..." And in the blink of an eye he scoops me up and shifts me onto my back so he laying on top of me on the couch. His elbows on either side me, holding his body weight so he doesn't crush me. His eyes narrow, "You don't want to be more powerful?"

"I do want you to teach me, but I still refuse to fight the Resistance for you... Kill innocent people." I shiver. "I won't be your puppet." My words strike him hard, he has great plans for me. Plans I don't want to carry out.

"Try and push me off. With the force. Try." He closes his eyes, I just look at him and decide to play this silly game. I close my eyes and push...but he doesn't budge. I tilt my head and push with my mind even harder... He doesn't move a hair. I feel it, his force putting up a wall not allowing me to move him. Something iv never felt before. I let out the long breath I was holding...

"What... What was that?" I say. Breathing heavy.

"Ultimate power." He says. He gives me a quick kiss and pulls off me. Instantly chilling me. He goes into the bedroom and shuts the door.

The encounter leaves me stunned for a moment. Thankful for the babies behaving well and playing together, I decide to put them down for a nap. After they are changed and in bed I go to find Kylo who is dressed and about to leave, holding his helmet.

"What else happened? You seem..." I look down, almost talking myself out of saying it. "Powerful." I watch his feet as he sets his helmet down and walks over to me. Raising my head with his finger at my chin.

"I am indeed. But that doesn't mean you should fear me. I would never hurt you or my children. This power is a gift, it allows me to keep you safe." His words seem sincere. He reaches his mechanical hand up, covered by a glove, and places his thumb on my temple.

A warm sensation travels though my body, a feeling of euphoria. My eyes close and behind my eyelids are a dance of colors, lights, twinkling, and simmering. It's beautiful, in the colors I see two white lights, dancing in circles. They would get close and seepage and twirl. My body is overcome with a warm feeling of love. The images fade and I open my eyes again. Kylo is just smiling at me.

"What... what was that?" I say, almost out of breath.

"The pull to your light, the way I feel it. Your warmth, your love, your essence. I'm drawn to it. Drawn to you love." My eyes swell at his words, tears unwelcoming fall. It was magical. Something I can't even explain in words.

"I want to teach you. I am hiding nothing." He kisses my lips slow and warm then let's go of my chin. He walks back to his helmet. "When I killed Snoke..." He shakes his head. "The shock made me absorb some part of him, his energy, a power so strong it stopped my heart but at the same time started it again but stronger, faster." He puts his helmet on, looking at me one last time

'You make me stronger' and then he walks out.

 ****Authors Notes:**

 **When I am not writing this story, I am thinking about it. About their love and how I plan to keep that everlasting. I am as dedicated to this story, I pour my heart into it. I am sorry for delayed updates.**

 **I also never want this to end either! Their love is amazing, I have become attached to this story. I wish it could be a Harry Potter series, ha ha. Thank you all for being such amazing readers and your reviews really brighten my day, they remind me why I started this even when being a mom or a wife gets in the way, working 12 hr shifts. I was not working when I started writing and when I am at work, I constantly wish I was at home, in my comfy chair with some tea writing for all my faithful readers. I never thought so many people would love Rey and Kylo as much as I do. Thank you, for holding on with me while I write.**

 **-SSL 3****


	62. Chapter 62

****Fewww, I got a few hours of em time today so I decided to write. A much needed self therapy. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend! I worked.**

 **Well, thank you for the reviews and the continue encouragement to continue this story. You are all amazing xoxo -SSL****

Chapter 62:

By night I was tired from chasing Kylan around, the two had so much energy I could use a nap. As I'm ready to collapse on the couch after getting them to finally sleep but there is a knock on the door. Startled I walk over to, not sure at first how to open it. So I try the obvious Kylo way and use the force. It's opens and I'm standing in front of two stormtroopers and Dalah. She leaps for joy when she sees me.

"Miss! Miss! Oh thank god, I thought I was doomed!" She walks over to me, I instinctively wrap my arms around her. The two troopers nod their heads and I wave the door shut.

"I'm so happy your here Dalah, I could use the help." I say. She looks at me up and down.

"You need a nap and a shower Lady Ren. Now." She says.

"Let me show you around and I'll take you up on the offer. I'm so glad to see you. I give her one more hug and lead her to the hallway, pointing to Kylans door and then Anas. Giving her a small tour. She seems impressed at the size and decor of the place.

"This is a fine house miss." She says. She is such a delight to see. "Go, go." She pushes me towards the master bedroom door. I don't argue with her, I just really need a hot shower.

Everyone I know is gone, and I don't even know who I am anymore. I have grown so attached to Poe and the past few days I have pushed those thoughts aside but I can't help but think of his face, so sad... so confused. I want to explain things to him. That no matter when Kylo came back I was always going to go with him... Kylo was and always will be my destiny. And nothing Poe or Finn of even Burg could say to change that.

Kylo can protect me better than anyone and there is no denying that. He says I shouldn't be afraid, and I'm not. I'm fuckin terrified. His powers are greater now that ever. His temper runs hot and cold, that will never change.

I jump in the shower. Taking my time with the hot water. I love the feeling of being clean. All those years without the luxury of a fresher to use. I use it every chance I get.

After my shower I put on a pair of silk pants and button top pjs and climb into bed, Kylo promised he'd be back. I don't want to pry into his mind when he is working.

'Your thinking of me, I can feel you'

His words make me smile. I'm almost embarrassed so I squish my face into my pillow.

 _I was thinking about how lonely this bed is without you._

'It is indeed even lonely. Many nights I laid there thinking about you'

 _But now I am here... And where are you?_

"Late." A voice books from the doorway of the room, I sit strait up and clutch my chest. My heart pounding. I was not expecting that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He walks fast over to the best, sitting on the edge of the bed and wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay." I mumble into his neck. Breathing in his scent. He is still in his full attire except for his helmet.

"Im going to take a shower and then I'll come lay with you. But I must go to my office to finish something after you fall asleep." He says. His voice was sweet. He gives me a quick kiss. His smell lingers after he gets up and goes into the fresher. Taking a shower. I listen to the sound of the water running. Waiting for it to turn off. I close my eyes, and involuntarily fall asleep.

* * *

I wake to a pitch black room, the door to the fresher is cracked open but the light off. I sit up and notice I'm alone. Damn it, I didn't want to fall asleep. I swing out of bed and shuffle around for a sweater. I find a soft dark grey one in my drawer. It so warm and slightly large but it's comfortable. Falling down covering my butt and hanging slightly off my one shoulder. I ball the extra fabric in my hands and wrap my arms around my self and creep out to the living room. I don't see Kylo anywhere or hear any noise at all.

He said something about a office? I walk through the living area to the hallway where the kids are fast asleep. I feel them... so peaceful and calm. I walk past their doors and to another door in the hallway, I creak it open and in the faint of light I make out a large wall of windows overlooks the same view as the living room. I see a small desk and Kylo. Leaning over it.

He looks up and looks behind him to me and I see him smile.

"You are so beautiful when you sleep. I didn't want to wake you. Come." He looks back down on his desk. I can't yet see what he is looking at so I creep in. Almost tippy toeing to him. I look down at his hands. Its a saber, almost like mine but... better?

"Is that for me?" I ask. That sounded greedy. Oops. It's just slipped.

"Yes, I see you lost your other one. This one is better. Iv had more time to work on it. I put a special design in the handle for easy handling."

He picks it up. It looks to small in his hand. He holds it out for me. My hand trembles and I take it. It's been awhile since I have held a lightsaber or wielded one. I weigh it in my hand. He's right, it better than the other one. It's even more beautiful. The handle hand and delicate lace design around the center, surrounded by gold. Lots of small gold detail. It sparkles in the light. Small traces of white pop design, such thought and time went into crafting this.

"It's magnificent." I say. I look up at him and he's smiling.

"You are magnificent Rey." He wraps his arm under mine and around to my back, he pulls me close to him. Flush to his body. And kisses me deep. His other hand find the nape and of my neck, deepening the kiss. We stay like this for a few minute. Enjoying each other lips, touch, and just companionship. We have gone so long without each other that no time together will make up for that time lost. All we can do now is make sure we enjoy the time we do have.

There is always the chance of death. Things changing. The children developing powers. We could be forced to separate again, though I doubt Kylo would lets that happen.

He pulls away and takes a deep low breath. He opens his eyes back up and just gazes into mine. His hand still holding the back of my neck.

"Do you like it?" He asks.

"Your kisses?" I giggle. "Can I have more?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "No, your lightsaber."

"Yes, it's the most exquisite thing I have ever seen. And the fact you made it for me makes me love it even more. Thank you." I rise to my tippy toes and give him a small kiss. "Did you do this so I would want to train with you so I can play with it?"

"Maybe." He says. He stiffens a chuckle but I hear it in his chest. I hear his heart quicken. He loves the idea of us training together.

"I don't want to fight the resistance." I say and frown, I try to back away but he holds me tight. I let out a deep sigh. "And I don't want to fight with you right now."

"There is nothing to fight about. You have great potential. You desire to use it. I know you do. Your curious and you will hurt yourself or somebody if you don't learn how to control it. What if you need to protect yourself, the children, maybe even me? I want you gone strong and prepared. That all." He says.

"Protect from what exactly?" I say, his words sounded off. Like he is hiding something.

"There is more than the Resistance out there. Don't be so niece Rey." He says.

"Like what. Give me an example." I say. His eyes narrow at me. He's angry, something bothering him majorly.

"There is a King, at the farthest end of the Galaxy. Past the outer rim. He has been building an army and plans to attack the first order."

"Can't you just use this SiderealStar to destroy him." I ask. "Your Kylo. You can do anything."

Is he doubting himself. His shoulders relax, his grip loosens a little.

"This is the only weapon that can protect us, that is why I have you 3 here. I need you safe."

"Then why haven't you used it on him. You are heartless when it comes to murdering things. People." I snicker at him.

"Because he is to far out of range. We didn't know that anything existed that far out." He releases me and grabs a small holo from his desk and holds it in his hand, he flicks it on. A large round green gas planet. The gas will kill the troops in seconds. Their suits are not..."

"Made to filter out toxins..." I interrupt him, my mind flickers to the day I met Flynn. My heart sinks a little at the thought of him and I miss him.

"Yes." he gives me a strange look, I know he wants to ask how I know that but for now he lets it go. "And we have not been able to develop a mask that will work. And once we do it will take awhile for mass production of a new suit." He looks down at the plant in his hand.

"King Grew is a mean old King, that is all we know, his armies are great, his ships thick, and his mind fast for a mortal. He to breeds his own troops, clones. We have come to just learn about him from an accidental encounter while looking around for you using the holo is Bespin. We spotted one of his ships, traveling through the outer ring and followed it closely. There are bigger threats out there than just your little pilot friend." He says. I stare at the green gas planet.

"So he knows of you... Of your power?" I say. "Does he know about me? Or about..." I say.

"No and I have Cornelius keeping an eye on the surface of the planet. Nothing yet." He lowers his head and shuts the holo off. He places it back down on the desk and embraces me in his arms. Tight. "They have the ability to turn invisible. Something I could never have the power to do. I can't explain it. But they see me as a threat, everybody does."

"Do you think they will attack?" I ask.

"Not if we develop an armor that can withstand the poison gases. We will level them." He pulls away and walks over the the wall, where another drawer from the middle pops open with a wave of his hand. A drawer invisible to someone who doesn't know it's there. He pulls out the force bond book from what seems like another lifetime. It's red cover. My heart flutters alittle. He walks back to me and just looks at me.

"This is the reason we are here. This is the reason we exist. Purely to be together." He weighs the little book in his hand. "When my heart stopped, yours did to. I found the medical records after we got here so I know everything." He looks down and mumbles, *fucking pilot*.

Oh no... I didn't list any father for the twins when they were born but he could of still found out about saying Poe was my husband.

"I want you to train with me because I need you to be able to protect yourself because we will really both die if one of us does. And then who would protect and train the kids? He arches his eyebrow.

"I never thought of it that way." I say.

"Of course you didn't. Your scared of your own potential." He snaps.

"I am not." I yell. "I just refuse..."

"I know!" He slams the book on his desk. "And I'm telling you that you wouldn't need to. Don't you trust me?"

His words hurt alittle, of course I trust him and he is right. There is more out there than the Resistance, and who would really raise these babies if something happened to us.

"Okay." I whisper.

"Okay what?" He says.

"Okay, you can train me" His eyes light up at my words. He smiles wide and scoops me up into his arms and spins me around.

"I'm ready for bed." His eyes say more though.

"Me too." I smile at him. I lean into his chest and he carries me back to the room. He lays me on the bed and then crawls on top of me. Holding his weight with his elbows and running his finger down my hairline around my face. Almost studying me.

"To know what it's like to not have you is a pain I never want to feel again." He says softly. I love this soft Kylo. We spend the rest of the night in each others arms. Kissing every inch of each other, holding eachother.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63:

I awake in the middle of the night to a strange sensation in my gut. I look around the room, Kylo sleeping peacefully next to me so i get out of bed and throw on just my large soft sweater that laid on the floor along with the rest of my clothes after last night. I head strait to the kids rooms. I check on them and they both are sleeping peacefully. Im confused at why I would have such a sudden strange feeling. I stand in the middle of the living room looking around to see if anything looks off. But nothing catches my eye. I walk over to the large wall of windows and look out to the forest beneath me.

I scan the the tree line and the surrounding area before my eye catches something... the trees are moving vilontly in a wave motion near the middle. I squint my eyes. Something is moving away from the mountain. I cant see what it is but I cant tell its big. Whatever it is.

"Why are you awake?" His voice startles me. I spin around to Kylo just inches away. Looking past me out the window and back down at me.

"Whats out there?" I ask.

"There are other reasons this is the safest place in the galaxy for you to be. If anyone lands here... there are things that will take care of them." He says.

"Likeeeeee?" I say sarcastically. He doesnt find me ammusing. My thoughts must of woke him up and he seems kinda irritable.

"Rathtars." He says and walks away, rubbing his eyes and the bridge of his nose.

"Rathars!? How did you get them here? They cant get in here can they?!" I say, my voise sounds shakey as I think about the first time I met Han Solo and accidentally setting the Rathtars free. Out of all things... it had to be those.

"Of course not." He shoots me an *isnt that obvious* look.

"Did you do it to prevent me from leaving?" I ask. I wouldnt think of leaving him after we just finally got together and like he said, I know its safer to be here than to be anywhere else.

"Do you want to leave?" He straitens up and looks at me.

"Not at all." I pout.

"Then they are to prevent anyone unauthorized to enter. Please, come to bed." He waves his hand towards him motioning me to come with him. He's mouthwatering to look at in just his low hanging relaxed pants.

"What other things are here that I should know about?" I look back out the window. I hear him let out a large sigh and he walks over to me.

"Only things that will protect you. Nothing can get you while you are in here. These windows are made from special material. We can see out, but nothing can see in. You need to promise me that you will never venture outside this complex unless with me. There is much here for you to do. I will show you the other levels tomorrow." He reaches up and touches my cheek. I lean in and look at him, giving him a half smile. I do not want to argue and I'm intrigued by the other levels of the house.

"I promise you," I reach up and touch his face were the scar use to be. His face more ridged and grown since the first time I laid eyes on it. But still gorgeous, perfect. "I'm not going anywhere." I look back over my shoulder at the trees, still and silent.

I shiver.

"Let's go to bed. It's the middle of the night and you look chilly." He drops his hand from my face and grabs my hands into his. Soft and caring. He kisses the top of them ever so slightly and then proceeds to lead me to the bedroom.

* * *

After the kids are awake in the morning I give them a bath and dress them in whatever is in the drawers. Ana is in a cute black dress, her hair in black bowed piggy tails and black shoes. Kyan I dress in a nice black shirt and pants. He looks very Sith, the thought unsettling, but I know it will please Kylo to see them like this and I love seeing him smile. As I'm putting on Kylans last shoe a block flys right past my head and hits the wall. I look over to Ana, who is standing by herself, clapping as she looks at another block and throws it against the wall. With just a look.

I finish Kylans shoe and rush over to Ana and pick her up. Looking into her eyes as I figure out if I should tell Kylo or not about it.

"Mama. Mama." She says and blows raspberries at me.

"Mama." Kylan hugs my leg, I bend down and scoop him up into my other arm. I wonder when he will begin throwing things at the wall. I turn toward the door and I jump when I see Kylo in the doorway.

"They look," he laughs, "really cute."

"I thought they looked the part." I say and smirk at him.

"They certainly do and perfect because we have company coming." He says and picks strait up. "General Green and General Phasma will be joining us soon with updates."

"I thought no one came here?" I say. He walks closer to me and grabs Ana from my arms. He looks at her like she is the most precious thing in the world. It melts my heart.

"Would you rather me go there?" He raises an eyebrow at me. "I thought you would prefer we meet here."

"Well yes." I shrug. He walks out the door and down the hall. I follow. "Who is Captain Phasma?" I ask from behind. He sets Ana down near the window where some toys lay out. I put Kylan down and let them play. I follow Kylo into the kitchen.

"She is in charge of my troops here." He says.

"She?" I have never heard of a female head before.

"She is excellent at her job." He gives me a hard look.

"Okay." I walk out of the kitchen, thinking about Kylo and her. I wonder how close they are, ugh, I'm being stupid.

"Are you really jealous?" He says from behind me, he grabs my arm and spins me around. "I can feel your feelings. Remember?"

"I...I..." I can't even explain what came over me. I never felt jealousy before. It was like a ping in the gut. "I am not jealous." Psssst I spat and throw my hands up. I squirm out of his grip. I storm off into the bedroom. I hear Kylo follow me.

"Dalah, tend to the kids." He says and follows me into the room and shuts the door behind him. "Your being silly."

"So your not jealous of all the time I spent with Poe over the year? The time I spent with Finn?" I spin around and yell. He creases his eyebrows.

"That is different. I am not jealous. I'm disgusted rather." I straitens up and twists his face. "The way he looked at you. If I would have died I'm sure he would of made a fine husband to you."

"That's sick." I say and cross my arms. "I would have never. My heart belongs to you and only you."

He raises his hand and pulls me to him, with a lint thud I hit his chest and he wraps one arm around my waist and one on the back of my head.

"And mine to you. Never have I laid eyes on someone so beautiful. You are the only thing that keeps me going." He says. "I would show you what happened when you were gone but I will not burden you with such sadness and anger. Your light shines so bright, I try not to dull it." He says and leans in and kisses me hard. From behind the bedroom door the door alarm goes off.

They are here...

He slowly lets go and turns and walks out the room. Leaving me breathless and long for his touch more. We are like hot and cold. I can never tell how our conversations will end. But somehow he always makes me speechless. His sense of care for me, for my feeling. I have never had that. I need more time with him so maybe training will be a good thing, I will feel closer to him.

I walk out of the room and Kylo is waiting by the door but it isn't yet open. He is waiting for me to stand near him before his does. He waves the door open and I'm floored when I see a dashing General Green in a matte attire. With clear symbol pinned on his collar showing his rank. He looks relaxed and he bears a wide smile when he sees Kylo.

But my eyes glue to the tall blonde with a shoulder length lob of the straightest blonde hair I ever ever seen. She is impeccable clean. In a woman's matte black knee length skirt and blazer. She is stunning with sharp features, white snow skin and big pink lips.

"General Green and General Phasma, thank you for meeting us here. General Phasma I would like to introduce my wife to you, Rey." He gestures towards me.

 _She is so pretty_

'Stop it' he shoots me a cold look.

"It's so nice to finally meet you Lady Ren, I have heard so much about you." She nods over to Green, I'm sure he filled her in about me. Then she walks over to me and shakes my hand. She is so poise. I give her a nice smile and thank her for coming. I look over to Kylo who is still giving me a stern look.

Dalah has taken the kids in the back before we all got in the living room. I am kind of glad. I wonder if Kylo arranged for her to hide them. I sit next to Kylo but not close to make him feel uncomfortable. I don't know how he is about affection in front of people.

He looks at the space between us and then at me, he raises his eyebrows. I shrug my shoulders.

 _What?_

'Nothing' he shakes his head and proceeds.

"General Green, please fill me in with everything Cornelius has since briefed you on. I have not been able to touch base with him since our last meeting. Right now his whereabouts are unknown." Kylo sits back and crosses his leg over his knee and places his hand on his chin. Ready to listen. I take a quick glance to Phasma, who is looking intently at Kylo. It bothers me how comfortable around them he is without his mask on. Usually he only takes it off for me. But now he seems relaxed, not bothered by the fact his young face is revealed to them.

General Green takes a big sigh, "Sir, Cornelius has told me the King has since doubled the size of his army. His numbers now reach over 50,000. The Druids grow fast, strong, and their numbers continue to increase. Last I heard Cornelius was heading to the planet to snatch one of them for further study, but we lost communication along the way." General Green states. "I believe his ship malfunctioned in the atmosphere of the world. I suggest we send a party to find him."

"How can we rescue him without the proper equipment?" Kylo says, I look at the Generals who smile at each other and the blond parks up.

"We do." She says. "We have developed the correct mask to deflect the toxins from the planet. We are ready to march at your command my lord." Kylos eyes flicker to my face. I must be white as a ghost because he sits up and puts his arm on the back of the couch, he is sitting just far enough that his hand reaches the back of my neck. He rubs his thumb down the tip of my spine. The gesture kind.

"Send a unit to the planet to try and retrieve Cornelius and one of these Druids. I, myself, would like to speak to it." Kylo flickers his eyes back to me and then back to Green. "Also, keep and eye out for the resistance. They may try and retrieve Rey at some point. I trust you both will keep the skies clear of any x-wings."

I can't bare to even look at Kylo. I just look down at my hand and play with my thumbs. This whole thing makes me uncomfortable.

"I will see to it personally that everything is taken care of." Phasma says and bows her head slightly. Kylo nods back.

"What do these Druids look like?" The question leaves my mouth before I even think about saying it out loud. Everyone looks at me. I shake my head, " Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." I put my hands up alittle and look at Kylo and mouth, sorry, to him.

"No, no, it's okay. Hold on." Kylo removes his hand from the back of my neck and gets up and leaves to goes into the hallways towards his study. Leaving this awkward tension in the room. My unbalanced feelings and not really wanting to make any form of small talk, but the blond pushes for a conversation.

"Tell me Lady Ren, do you enjoy being back?" She says.

"Yes, of course." I answer her. What a stupid question. "Do you think that we can beat him?" I ask General Green.

"I think our chances..." He stops and looks past me to the doorway and I hear Kylo walk back in. Totally ignoring me now the Generals attention is diverted to Kylo. Kylo sits down next to me and places a holo in my hand and turns it on.

My eyes flash white, like that of the visions I use to get. In front of me is a disturbing sum of creatures, that of a nightmare, quite a few of them. We are standing in a dark place. A green cloudy sky above us, metal building surrounding the small opening.

They have saggy grey skin, stand tall and lanky, covered in grey cloth and holding a long double knife staff. Their faces long and theirs eyes much to big, the skin on their hear bare, and their ears huge. Their faces... Have no nose and their mouths large and out hangs a mouth full of sharp teeth. They are standing over bodies, blood everywhere. Some of them are ripping bodies limb from limb. Eating them. My hands shoot to my mouth and I try to run but I can't. I'm stuck. My feet clued to the floor. I try and scream but nothing comes out, one of the creatures spots me. I try and wiggle free of this glue hold. But I can't. It drops what it's eating. It's an orange fabric, I recognize it as the Resistance pilots suit. I look past it and my eyes fall on Poe. Behind Poe is Finn, behind him is General Organa and soon I start noticing everyone I know and many orange suits laying out being picked apart by Druids.

Everyone I know dead. I search of Ana and Kylan but I don't see them. I'm relived. I try and try to scream for help, stuck in place. I call for Kylo in my mind, I try and use the force. Nothing is working it seems. It starts walking towards me, swinging its blades with a smile as wide as its face, covered in blood, he gets closer.

From behind me I hear a familiar buzz. My heart flutters and I feel his presence enter. The red glow comes into my view. I try and speak but no words come out. He looks at me from head to toe. He is in his full suit, I can't see his face. I want to see his face.

I mouth help. He shakes his head. Almost in disapproval. He walks forward and raises his saber to the beast and my vision flashes white again.

"Did you... did you..." I stutter, he touches my face and searches my mind and watches my vision unfold.

I thought they were Anas visions... But maybe they were really my own, just something that didn't start till we connected the bond.

I have never seen such a vile looking beast. I don't know what to make of the situation. I look up at him, my hand starts to shake. I don't know why I am having this panic attack. The thought of being face to face with such a thing is terrifying. I don't want to fight them. They... they look horrible. How am I suppose to stay strong. Kylo is scary, but in a powerful way. These things are scary in a visual way.

"I think we are done for today Generals." Kylos voice erupts from next to me. He takes to hologram from my hand and turns it off. Removing his hand from the back of the couch. He stands up. Bother Generals stand attentive and I listen to them leave, not looking up from my scared look. I listen to them leave. I relax into the couch, just gazing at the couch across from me but no really thinking about what I'm looking at just about those Druids.

"I need to warm them. I need to find out if they are going there. I can't let them all die Kylo. I can't. I won't." I start saying as soon as Kylo sits down next to me, he leans back into the corner and rubs his fingers over his chin. "I can't Kylo, if you love me you must let me warn them."

"You don't know what that vision was telling you, it was almost more of a bad dream. I don't know what to make of it but I will certainly not let you contact them. You are here now." He says, his voice is so angry now. Him thinking of me going back to them, back to Poe sends some vile thoughts through his head. I stand to my feet and look down at him.

"I will not allow them all to be slaughtered by those vile things. I will not!" I go to stomp away and I get about halfway to our room before I can't move. He is holding me in place. I hear the small humm of the force through us, I can't break away.

"You will not do anything irrational right now. We are in war. You choose to not pick a side, I don't push..." I hear him walking closer, his footsteps heavy. He walks around to face me. I'm still frozen. "You will not go behind my back and betray me though. I am telling you, YOU WILL NOT CONTACT THEM." His voice stern, his eyes sharp. His hand behind his back he stands tall and serious. He lets me go and I let out s long sigh. I'm shaking, his demeanor is scary.

"But they are my friends, I have spent more time with them than I have you. Please, something must be done." I say.

"I just got you back. I just finally have everything just the way I want it. You need to take a deep breath and realize you don't even understand them." He says. His eyes searching my face. I can't bare to look at him right now, I turn around and walk towards the hallway, towards the kids and I stop when my eyes catch his helmet on the pedestal. I look at it and back at him with a quick glance and keep walking.

I need to find a way to deliver my message, even if that means upsetting Kylo. What harm would it do if I did. From behind me I feel him before his hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around.

"I said no." He says through his teeth.

"You saw what I saw." I say quietly. We are in the hallways near Anas door. I can hear them playing from here.

"I did, but you don't know what it means." He says. "And you remember what's out there if you try and leave." His eyes narrow.

"So I'm a prisoner?" I say.

"No, no." He says. His body language changes, "I never want you to feel that way again. I want you to feel safe."

"I do but..." He puts his hand up motioning me to stop what I'm saying.

"I have to go take care of something. We will finish this conversation later. Ill be in my office." He kisses my cheek and walks past me to his office and closes the door.

 ****So a little cliff hanger, this chapter was really hard to write and be descriptive without giving away to much of what I have planned, I again, thank all my readers and the reviews. I love hearing about your ideas and advice. It really helps. Thank you for sticking with me through this journey. 3 ****


	64. Chapter 64

****Hi everyone, sorry it took so long to update, believe me... when im not writing i am constantly thinking of this story and i get so mad when I dont have time to sit and write. but i have not thinking of ya'll.**

 **please enjoy this next chapter, i will try to post the next by the end of the week.**

 **WhisperingLight- i love your reviews! Your so sweet :)**

 **lolaren- im so glad you liked it! i love this story, it has come such a big part of me!****

Chapter 64: Warnings

The next night I woke to a bad dream, the vision replaying in my head. Kylo fast asleep next to me I roll out of bed and go to the cool windows in the living room. I pressed my head against it and just listened to the welcoming sound of rain outside. I feel him walking toward me, but he is as silent as a feather.

"Whats wrong?" He says. His hands wrap around me from behind, he hustles his nose in my hair.

"I'm having nightmares." I say, he stills for a second, his heart skipping a beat.

"About what?"

"Them." I know he knows what I'm talking about. I turn around and look at him.

"If I let you send them a warning, will you let it go? I can't bare to see you like this." His voice trembles. He's hoping I say no.

"I would like to tell them myself, in person" I say as bravely as I can, his grip around me tightens.

"You want to leave?" He says.

"Only for a day. I need to talk to them." I plead with him with my eyes, searching his for any clues. "Alone."

"No." He says. He backs away, turning around. I can see his fist clench at his sides.

"You say you love me, prove it. Let me go to them."

"If you go, they won't let you return. And then what?" He turns and looks at me. His eyes narrow. "Then what?" He says, this time more harsh.

"They will, in exchange for what I know." I say, crossing my arms. Standing my ground.

"Why do you want to protect them?" His eyebrows crease, his anger boiling. I can feel it slowly creep under my skin.

"Because it's the right thing to do." I say. "You will be with me the whole way." I point to my head.

He lets out a deep breath, "Okay." He then pulls me in for a tight hug. "Promise me you will be safe. I haven't even begun to train you."

"I'm going to be fine." I pull away and look up at him. "Dalah can tend the children. I promise... only one day, really a few hours." I lean into his hand that he brought up to cup my cheek. He rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. "I need an unmarked ship so they can't trace it back to here. You can't attack them, please, I know where to find them but I must have your word you won't attack the base?"

"How do you know?" He says. I feel him pushing at my mind. I push back.

"Because, I overheard some conversations back on the island and I know where their base is." I give him my sweetest smile.

"Your beauty is undeniably my weakness." He smiles back.

"Oh, I need something warm." I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. Thankful he isn't trying to fight this. I am a grown woman, why can I not do what I want?

"I think I can cover that." He scoops me up into his arms and start kissing my neck. His warm breath on my skin feels good. I close my eyes and lean my head into his chest. His large hands wrapped around me. I feel the cold of the metal on his one hand through the the fabric of my clothes, sending a chill down my leg. "I can't believe I'm letting you do this." He mumbles against the skin of my jaw. He lays me down on our bed and crawls over me, looking down at me and brushing a loose hair off my face.

"You need to trust me." I say.

"It's them I don't trust." He closes his eyes and bows his head slightly. "The pilot loves you, you think he will let you leave?"

I cock my head to the side, "Let me?" I laugh.

* * *

The next morning I dress in my black tight pants, long sleeve black shirt, and wrap a heavy belt around my waist to hold my new lightsaber from Kylo. I buckle my knee high boots and wrap my cloak around me and think to myself, this isn't warm enough for were I'm going. I huff and latch the last button. I walk out into the living room and see Kylo playing with the kids on the floor, Dalah must of dressed them. I don't mind the help. The last year has been pretty much all me, I enjoy the little break. Kylo swings his head around and glances at me, his eyes look at me from head to toe.

"How cold is it going to be?" He asks.

"I think I need some gloves and a hat." I say. He shuffles away from the kids and walks over to the wall, waving his hand and a tall door opens. He motions his fingers for me to come to him. I do, my boots clicking on the floor. He slowly unbuttons my cloak. I reach up and wrap my hands around his.

"There is no time for that. I have to go." I say, he smiles wide.

"As much as I'd love to rip those tight black clothes off your body. I to am on a schedule." He chuckles.

"I need this, I'm going to be cold." I say.

"I know, I have something better." He says, assuring me that he isn't up to no good. He undoes the last button and throws my cloak over the nearest chair. He turns towards the closet and pulls out a large white fur cloak. Made of rough thick white fur with a large hood similar to my cloak. He swings it around and fasts the top button allowing me to move my arms out. It's surprisingly light but I already feel the heat inside starting rise. And a perfect fit no doubt.

"Wow." I mutter. "It's perfect."

"I'm glad you like it." He smiles. He enjoys giving me new things, things Iv never thought I'd have and he knows it. He knows my deepest fears and what my desires are.

"I know that you will know where I am. But I need you to not interfere. After this is all done I will be yours, only yours." I grab his hands.

"My Empress." He says with a smile. "Officially."

"Okay." I lean up and kiss his cheek where his scare use to be. He lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around me through the inside of the thick cloak. He reaches one arm up and kisses me hard and retreats.

"If anything goes wrong. I will interfere." He says. "I will fly in and get you. You won't like the chaos I leave behind." His voice dark, deep?

"Nothing will go wrong. They are my friends. I belong to you. They know that."

"You better tell them. I will hear you... You will tell them you are the Empress of the First Order there to deliver a message." His eyes narrow at me. "You deliver the message and leave."

His fingers around the back of my neck dig into my skin alittle.

"Promise me Rey or no deal." He breaths. His eyes scanning my face.

"What if they try and kill me for renouncing the Resistance?" I glare at him.

"But I thought they were you friends, surely they will understand why." He says and chuckles a little but then gets serious. "If they even lay a finger on you, I will come."

"Okay." Everyone is going to think I'm crazy, but if it allows me to warn them, then it's worth it. I should get my goodbyes in while I have the chance.

"Okay, I'll walk you out." He says, we get into the elevator and as we descend he looks down at me and touches my cheek lightly. "If they touch you..." He says through his teeth.

"I can handle myself." I say while patting my side. The doors slide open and the bright light from outside slightly blinds me for a second.

"Are we safe out here?" I ask only because I distinctly remember beasts being out here.

"You are always safe with me." He smiles at me. He walks me over to a small unmarked sleek white craft. It's beautiful actually. "Untraceable." He says, taking me out of my daze. I smile up at him and he proceeds to give me a goodbye kiss and help me settle into the cockpit. I watch him walk inside and I slowly start my craft, listening to her purr. I set for Evrost, the all snow planet where and old Resistance base lies.

I arrive to the planet and am awed at the vastness of white snow and mountains I see. That's all this plant consists of. I fly around, looking for sign of a entrance to somewhere but come up empty handed for awhile. Suddenly I spot a large grey door on side of a mountain, hard to see with all the snow. I land at the base of the mountain in a small plain, I button up the cloak, put in the new matching hat and gloves and pull up my hood. I feel warm, protected. Kylo also provided a scarf to pull up over my face, he really thought of everything.

I open the cockpit and the breeze hits my eyes. I pull down googles, similar to the ones on Jakku that protected my eyes from the sand and sun. I glimb down and begin walking up the mountain, I struggle alittle. With the cold and thinner oxygen.

'It is far to cold Rey, you are going to die out there'

I grunt at him.

 _I'm almost there_

I feel him pacing, he doesn't like this. I reach the door and knock three times. A little slit in the door pops open and closes. The door rumbles open and I step into the dark vast entrance. My eyes adjust and I hear a familiar voice in the distance.

"Poe?" I whisper.

"What is your business here?" The man says from beside me with urgency. I pull up my goggles and down the scarf to expose my face and the man gasps. "Right this way." He says and beacons me to come with him, walking me strait to the crowd in the corner. The man lets out a large whistle and everyone stops talking and looks my way. I look obnoxious in all this white fur, but I'm warm and they all look cold. I remove my hat, the rest of my scarf and gloves, setting them in a chair as we pass it.

"Rey?" Poe says and pokes his body through the line of people, he runs to me and wraps his arms around me. Squeezing me. "You escaped. You escaped. But how..." He says.

I can feel Kylo grow angry with Poe touching me. I back away, snarling at Kylo in my mind.

"I did not escape." I say stern, I can't put him in danger. "I... I..." I look around at all the stunned faces. The girl from Jakku, in all white and I must say, I look pretty high class. Not some escaped prisoner.

"What?" He puts his hands on my shoulders, he eyes the fur between his fingers.

"I need you to promise to not hurt me?" I whisper.

"Hurt you? Why would I ever do such a thing? I thought you were gone for good." Then his eyes widen so wide. "Where is Ana and Kylan?" I hear the worry in his voice.

"Safe." I say. "Promise me Poe."

"I promise." His eyes narrow. I back away from his touch and start walking in circles while I think about how to word it.

'Your procrastinating...'

"I come with a message." I say, I stop and look up at Poe. "I as..." I clear my throat, "I as Empress of the First Order have come with a message."

You could hear a pin drop in the room, I look around and people were just looking at each other and then to Poe but yet no one spoke a word. He takes a step forward, his face in aw. A man from my side raises a gun and me, I look over to him and eye the gun, using the force to throw it from his hands and then back at Poe?

"Your what?" He says.

"I warn you, if any harm comes to me your base will be destroyed. He knows I'm here." I say.

"SHE LED THEM STRAIT TO US! SHES ONE OF THEM! KILL HER!" A man shouts, Poe raises his hand to the man to silence him.

"They will not attack, I come with a different message. One I have risked a lot to deliver to you." I say, I try to remain calm.

"What could you possibly say and us believe you, I don't even know who you are Rey. One minute your with the resistance and now..." He says.

"You need to let me explain, I know it's all hard to take in and I'm sorry. But I came to warn you of a new threat." I say, my hearts pounding.

"What?" His eyebrows crease. He's angry and I'm starting to worry about my safety.

"I had a vision." I start and I hear a chuckle emerge from behind me. I look back and flash an evil look at the man. "That you will all die." I look at Poe.

"You saw this? I thought...?" He says.

"It was me, not her. I need you to listen. There is a King, King Grew, he is on a far desolate planet with an army of nasty flesh eaters. I saw that they will attack and you will be killed. All of you..." I say, my words fall out of my mouth to fill the empty silence in the room. Some whispers emerge through the crown circling me. "I don't know when or anymore details than that, but you must believe me. You are not safe. You need to protect yourselves."

"Enough." Poe yells. "At one point I thought I did love you, but that's exactly it... I thought. Your words bring no comfort. Only fear now to all these questions that I'm sure you will leave unanswered as you run back to him."

"I risked everything coming here to tell you. If you let me explain..." I say.

"You risked nothing but leading the first order directly here!" He yells. "Finn and Burg would be disgusted with you, the white lady of the first order." He makes a disgusted face.

'You need to leave or I will make him eat his words'

"I need to go." I walk over to the chair and star to put my gloves on. "I won't bother you again, since your all gonna die anyways." I say through my falling tears. I try to hold them back but I can't. I pull the scarf over my head.

"Your just gonna let her leave? GO BACK TO THEM?!" A voice yells.

"If they wanted to attack they good of, The Emperor has no intention on fighting today. He let me come, but he warned me of your reluctance to believe me. I should have known. He's been the only one right all along." I sniffle and pull the scarf over my nose and pull my goggles down, shooting a last look at Poe.

"Let her go." He says. He takes a step forward. "Don't come back. You are not welcome here. The only reason I will not kill you right now for being the traitor that you are is because of those babies. Never... Come... Back." His eyes narrow at me and I leave the room out to the white cold snow.


	65. Chapter 65

***** OKay, so this took so long because i rewrote this chapter 3 times. I could not piece my ideas together how i wanted to, till last night so i stayed up to finish this when it finally all clicked. i hope everyone likes this :) I really wanted the king to be involved in the story sooner than later. i dont know how many chapter i will write after this, I might only have a few left.**

 **reviews are always apppriciated :) thank you as always for reading :) *****

Chapter 65

I walked through the the snow for awhile, but I can't find my way to the ship. I think I'm lost and it's getting dark. Kylos mind is busy so he is distracted right now by something. I don't bother him as I trail through the snow, my body shielded from the wind that howling against the darkening sky. It's getting dark fast and the wind picks up.

Before I know it I'm lost in the trees, can't find my way back to the dang ship. I lean against a tree for rest and to shield from the wind. A crackle in the tree beside me stops my train of thought. I look around and see nothing so I keep walking, the wind has blown my old path away. I trail through the woods. Waiting to see something familiarity. I walk through a tree and the snow falls down into me, making me sigh, I start wiping it off when I hear a crack from the side of me. I look over and I'm eye to eye with a man I don't recognize. He throws a punch and hits me strait in my jaw. I go flying to the ground but land softly on the snow. I can't see the mans face through his face wrap and the dark ending sky. But he stomps towards me as I rub my jaw from the throbbing pain.

I'm hunched over, grabbing the side of my face when he lands a swift kick to my side causing me to roll on my back. I reach for my saber but the man get on top of me and pins me down. I try to use the force on him but the last thing I see is his elbow coming towards my face, then blackness.

* * *

I wake up in a dark cold room laying on what feels to be a metal bed, much uncomfortable. I'm immediately to hot, I feel the sweat dripping down my face. I look around the room and realize it's an interrogation room. Like the one they held General Green in. Attached to my arm is an IV pinched in my arm. I try to pull it out but my other hand is cuffed to the bed.

I cry out for Kylo in my head but I can't seem to get through, I can't even use the force. This medicine is somehow blocking my will to use it. I strain my mind as I push to use it but it only makes me exhaust all my energy and I close my eyes for a few seconds just being thankful I'm still alive.

If I can't get through to Kylo, does he know where I am? Am I still on the snow desolate planet? I wonder if Poe is behind this.

"Help!" I scream out, knowing it's downright pointless for me to yell for help, since obviously the person who put me here isn't going to help me. All the sudden the handle on the door rattles and a hissing sound rises from the door as it opens.

A man to be in his mid twenties with piercing blue eyes and blond hair. His jaw square and his build strong. He is running his hand through his hair, sort of like Kylo does when he is frustrated, and mumbling to himself before he looks at me on the table.

"He will come for you, he will kill you." I saw through my teeth. The mans eyes narrow and he crosses his arms and leans in close to me.

"He will come for YOU...but by then it will be to late and you will be no longer useful to us. My name is..."

I spit at him before he finishes, "I don't care what your name is. Let me Go!" I strain against the restraints but the throbbing in my jaw and side is enough for me to stop.

He wipes the spit off his face and backs away.

"My name is Commander Duke. I am in charge of the Resistance now that Poe and the others have resigned their spots on the council. I'm guessing they don't want to be involved in the agreements we have made. Which is fine by me. I plan on switching around certain things anyways and I don't need anyone getting in the way." He sneers. This man may be attractive but he sure is evil enough to make my skin crawl. He should work for the First Order with a mindset like that, nothing like a true Resistance Leader.

"Agreement?" I say, confused.

"Yes, I hear you have had a vision... I would like to hear about it." He says. He circles the table. I refuse to look his way and tilt my chin up, refusing to answer him. He uses the opportunity to throw a punch to my side causing me to loose all the air in my lungs and almost faint of pain. "You will talk."

"I'm glad I saw you all dead, I hope you all burn in hell." I say. I try so desperately to reach Kylo in my mind. I feel him in a far away spot, like a whispering whisper but I can't seems to pull it closer.

"King Grew has been on our map for sometime. We watched him from afar at first, noticing his army growing in size. When you came to us to tell us you saw his betrayal I knew something had to be done. So we made an agreement... I will hand you over to him, in exchange for peace and partnership to take down the First Order. But first you must tell us the location of the Sidereal Star. We know it exists."

"I will never tell you anything." I say. He standing at my feet now, looking down at my boots. I notice my white cloak in the corner, covered in splats of blood. He grabs the sole of my boot and twists, sending a cracking noise echoing through the room. The pain was unreal, sending a shockwave through my body. I scream out for Kylo, for him to save me but all this Duke guy did was laugh and walk over the IV and turn up the speed of the drips. Within seconds my head goes hazy but the pain from my broken ankle is still there, tears roll down from my eyes.

"Just in case you try to leave." He says and leaves the room.

Blackness takes over.

* * *

When I come to it I'm in the cargo hold of a ship, my hand tied together and chained to the wall. And iv still pumping fast into my arm. The first hing I notice is the pain in my foot and when I look down I'm mortified by the sight of how limp my ankle it. I cry out in pain. My tears burn my cheeks as I notice the second thing. It's so cold I can see my breath. I'm in just my thin black shirt, pants, and boots.

I push into the whisper of my mind but it's so cloudy. It's mumbling. I know it Kylo reaching for me and I just hope he's strong enough to sense I'm reaching back to him. I need him, I need his arms around me and him telling me everything is going to be okay. But the pit of my stomach tells me that might not happen.

I look around the cargo hold and notice the man with the gun in the corner. He has it pointed at me. He's probably scared I'll do something, so I try not to make sudden movements. I rest my head on my arms and close my eyes. Trying to direct my attention other than my ankle.

The ships jolts and I feel the landing gear beneath me release. My heart pounds so hard that I'm sure the officer man can hear it. He doesn't move though, he keeps attentive with his gun pointed right at my head. The door opens and in walks Commander Duke. He squats down next to me and undoes the chains, leaving my hands still tied.

"Now we are going to do this the easy way or the hard way. I can either carry you or I can have one of his creatures come in and get you. I'm sure they would love to look at the soft flesh of a young girl." I turn my head away to not look at him. Disgusted at each of the options but this mixture of drugs they are giving me leaves me no energy to argue. I drop my head in defeat and Duke scoops me into his arms. Undoing the IV, he must of seen the glimmer of hope in my eyes when I saw him do it because he instantly became a sharp ass again, "The drug will take a full 72hrs to wear off, by then you'll probably be dead."

I try not to lean into him but I have no choice when my head feels like it weighs a millions pounds. Before we walk out he sets me down on a bench and puts a clear mask over my mouth and then puts one over his. This my protect us from the toxic air outside that the Generals where talking about.

He walks down a ramp into a vast opening, our ship is surrounded by flesh eaters. Instantly I start to squirm and Duke drops me on the ground, hard. I scramble to my knees, unable to stand and I look around in awe at the first hand sight of these creatures.

I close my eyes and try so hard to reach for that whisper again, to make him feel me, I need him to find me. But the whisper seems even farther away and I collapse under the amount of effort it took. I lay on the ground breathing heavy when from the side of my I hear footsteps approaching, I slowly pull myself back to my knees and the I see the eyes of an old King who looks as though he's lived a thousand lifetimes the way his skin sags.

"Ahhhhhh, my package." He says. Instantly his face frowns in disappointment. "I thought you said in one piece. You broke her." He says disapprovingly.

"Only to ensure she didn't escape." Duke says. "I can ensure you that doesn't deteriorate from the value." I look around with wide eyes at the creatures whose beady eyes all stare at me. Their mouths open in hunger.

"Let me go, please. I beg you. If you show mercy I'm sure my husband will let you all live." I plead. They both laugh, the king is not amused by my outburst, rather more irritated.

"Child, no one can save you now. Commander, please load her onto my carriage and your job here is done. I will stay true to my word. We will attack when your ready." Grew says.

"She won't reveal the location of the Sidereal Star to us, I was hoping you had better antics than we are capable of doing without causing further damage to the property. Now that she's yours, I'm sure you will find a way." He nods his head and grabs me from under my arms. He pulls me up slightly and drags me over to a long hovering sled type thing, he halls me on and then locks the chain to the side so I can't move. "Also, the drug will wear off in 72 hours, you have till then till she can access her powers which we still don't know what that consists of. I suggest you move fast, we will attack as soon as you get the location. We are ready." He nods his head and leaves. I watch as the ship takes off and tears pour from my eyes as I look around, I have never felt more alone.

The king looks back at me and smiles a smile I can never forget. His black teeth dripping of a tar like substance. "My creature will only do as I command, they are controlled by me, and me alone. My mind and theirs are one. So don't be afraid, they won't hurt you unless you try and escape... then I won't hold them back. They all think you look mighty tasty. But I'm not sharing so don't mess up and make me loose out on a good meal." He licks his lips and I cringe. He's going to eat me?!

I nod my head and in my head I start planning all escape possibilities.

Once we are back to his place he closes the doors after the sled brings me in. He unlocks the chain and through the mask I can smell death coming off him, I can see stains of blood on his tunic, and a necklace made of small bones... baby bones?

He grabs the rope around my hands and pulls me from the sled, my tailbone thumping on the ground causing pain, he drags me across the floor and throws me into the middle of the room off to the side. A large furnished room.. Licking his lips and looking at me from head to toe. I see the mask fogging up under my eyes, my breathing heavy and a unsteady heartbeat that is about to jump out my chest.

"Now tell me where it is?" He says. I shake my head, I will never betray Kylo. I would never tell them were he is because that would put Kylan and Ana in danger. The Kimg stomps towards me... "Tell me where he is hiding!" His voice booms.

"Never." I say through my teeth.

The king stomps towards me, grabs my arm and rips my sleeve off in one movement, that's when I feel his cold dead skin touch my pink flesh. He stops for a second, closing his eyes at my warmth and then when he opens them his mouth opens to and he leans in and bites me! Almost like a warning bite, blood oozes from the two crescent shaped marks on my arm. The king licks my arm. Causing me to gag, forcing myself to not look and not puke.

He grabs my mask and rips it off my face and looks at me as blood drips from his mouth. I breath deep and unsteady as I try and pull away but he is to strong. He notices my frustration and backhands me across the face. He drops my arm and I hear him sucking on his lips, enjoying my taste.

"You taste so pure, I have never..." He takes a deep breath. "I bet all of you tastes just as good. I need more..." He turns back towards me and his eyes are bright red. Like the taste of human blood changed him I squirm into the corner of the wall, trying my hardest to inch away from him but with only one good foot to use as leverage I didn't get far before he grabbed my by the hair and pulled me back into the middle of the room. He grabs my shirt and rips it off, leaving me in my bra and pants. Feeling the most vulnerable I have ever felt. He kicks me to the ground and pins me. I feel cold radiating off him, something I never knew existed. Even someone as evil as Kylo is warm to the touch.

I'm afraid now of what physically he is going go do to me, besides suck my blood like a leach, and I couldn't even fight him off because I have no will power or energy. He takes bites me on my collar bone, and then sucks for awhile. Soon, everything goes blurry and darkens around the edges. I think I'm dieing.

I think of the meadow, of Ana and Kylan. Of Kylo.

And everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up, in the same spot I passed out but I'm cold. I sit up and get a good look at all the bruises and bites from last night. My pants are gone.

My skin pale and white.

I'm in my bra and underwear and I have bite marks everywhere. My thighs, chest, hips, ribs. Dry blood all over my body. My ankle is swollen and limp and my hands still bound together. I couldn't even walk if I wanted to the rest of my body is so sore. I lay back down, trying to take the spins away. Footsteps approach from behind me. I feel like I am dead already and this is hell.

"Ahh, my pet is awake. I need a morning snack." I hear his lips smack together and he kneals down next to my basically naked body. "I have never seen such a beautiful women, no wonder Ren enjoys you, but has he ever had your blood? It's quit delicious. Sweeter than a baby's."

"He isn't sick like you." I say. The king is taken back by it and decides to not take a taste now and instead he'll come back soon.

He spend the next few hours circling me and mumbling about wheat he's going to do when he destroys Kylo, and how he will rule the Galaxy. I let him rant for awhile till I'm so famished I can't concentrate anymore, I haven't eaten or drank anything I a few days it seems like and my body is shutting down.

"What makes you think you can kill him?" I say through cracked lips.

"What makes you think he can kill me?" He spits out.

"Iv seen him kill the greatest Jedi of all time and he's killed the old emperor. You are an ant to him... A nothing... An easy kill." I say. The king comes over and kicks me in the side, I roll to my other side and cry out in pain. He takes the opportunity to kick my in the lower back. It feels as though he's broke my back but I know it's just a stunned nerve. For a moment I go completely limp. But the tingle comes back to my legs after a few scary moments of thinking my spine is severed. I stay in that position.

I open my eyes when i feel a sharp pain in my neck, I open my eyes to find the king taking a sip from my neck. I try to wiggle away but his cold hands pin me down. In the distance I hear something, and the king hears it to as he pulls away with a blood stained mouth and turns his attention to outside. He pushes me away and I roll a few times on the hard ground.

"He's here, he found me." I mumble out with my little bit of life I feel I have. I think the king has drained me of almost all my body can take in blood loss. I feel my systems shutting down.I can't fight much longer but we must be coming close to the 72 hours because I feel him, I feel his energy. His force pulling me. I reach for it and it clicks. His mind swoops mine and I feel him comforting me, I can't hear what he's saying through the ringing in my ears, but I feel his anger and he senses my pain. And the sensation is gone as my life slowly starts to drain away. The King leaves the house and all I can do is listen, and hold on till he's here.

I can hear screeching, and screaming. Guns blasting and a familiar sound. Kylos lightsaber swooshing though the air, fearlessly and fast. He is taking no mercy as he fights. For a few minutes it's sounds of slashing, and blowing up, and blasting away. I listen for him as he gets closer. I try to listen to other things but all that matters is him.

"Kylo.." I whisper... The noise around me stops. I don't know if Iv fallen into a eternal sleep or there is actual silence. The door to the castle flies open. Heavy footsteps enter and then stop. His lightsaber retracts and he runs to me. I wish I could open my eyes to see him but my body won't let me.

"Baby, no no no." He says through his mask. He can heal me, that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about if he made it in time and he's thinking about the fact that someone actually did this to me. I feel his gloved hand slide under my head and raise it. The motions giving me the spins. He runs his other gloved fingers down my thigh. In this moment I'm glad my body is to weak to feel his emotions. It would probably kill me. He slowly lowers my head and I hear the swoosh of fabric and then the material of his cloak on my skin. He pulls me into the sitting position and slides the hood over my head and covers my near naked body.

"Sir, the King has escaped along with some flesh eaters." A woman's voice says from afar. General Phasma.

"We have what we came for, leave him for me to deal with another time." He says, I can't tell where in the room she is standing. He shifts his body and I feel the floor disappear beneath me and the welcome smell of his clothes. He starts walking.

"I didnt say anything." I say with the last energy I have as my body goes into full limp mode. I loose my sense of hearing. I can still feel him, holding me. But my eyes are to heavy to open to see. I just want to see him.


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 65:

When I wake up I feel entirely to comfortable for what iv endured the past few days. I stretch out and the texture of the fabric around me makes me realize im in my own bed. My eyes shoot open and I sit up. Looking around the room, I can see light coming from the living room through the slightly cracked open door. I rub my eyes and push the hair out of my face, I examine my skin in the soft light. The marks are gone... but im in new panties and bra. I still feel I need to shower and wash the King off me. I turn to get out of bed, knocking a glass of water on the floor from the nightstand, causing the glass to clink against the floor. I pause and decide to scoot back into bed when from the other side of the door I hear a shuffle and footsteps. He knows im awake and my heart speeds up waiting for him to enter the room, anticipating him yelling at me for being so dumb and going in the first place.

The door slowly opens and he stand in the doorway, leaning against the frame in just his pants that I love. His tall broad figure blocks out most of the light. His arms are crossed but his face is surprisingly light. He doesn't look as though he wants to yell at me, instead his face reads worry and regret.

"You almost died." He says. I look away from him and down at my hands, twiddling my thumbs together. I cant bare to look at him and admit he was right all along. That they cant be trusted.

"I..." I start to say I know, but instead decide to just not talk.

"You what?" He straitens up and starts walking towards me. He sits on the bed with his feet still on the floor but twists his body and puts his arms on either side of me.

"I thought I was dead when you came." I look up at his eyes. "How did you find me, I couldn't feel you... I couldn't reach you." He reaches up with his left hand and strokes my face running his thumb down the bridge of my nose and leans and kisses me. This kiss was soft and loving. I let out a long sigh through my nose and wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a deeper kiss. I could never get enough of his touch or kisses. He pulls away and takes a deep breath. Resting his forehead against mine.

"I was distracted by General Green the moment our connection was tampered. I was instantly aware you were in danger. Its my fault for not being more alert. I thought I lost you... again." He pulls away and looks at me. His hand still on my face. "But no drug can totally sever our bond. I could still feel you, it was just harder. Like you were fuzzy and distant. I could tell when you were awake and when you were asleep."

He pulls the blanket away from my lap and runs his hand down my leg, just then I remember my foot. I pull up my leg to look and my ankle, examining his fine healing work.

"You put yourself in great danger. Never again ask me to let you do something so reckless." He says. Running his hand down to my ankle. He shakes his head at it and lets go of my leg. It pained him to see me in pain.

"But how did you know where I was? Could you sense that?" I say.

"No, actually it was a call from General Phasma that had me confused. They were patrolling his planet when a few resistance ships entered the area. Careful to not intrude they followed and watched from afar when they took you off the ship. She called me and I told her not to intervene till I got there. I knew them attacking would only put you in more danger and I was not willing to do that. You were already at risk. I cant piece together though why they brought you there." He looks at me and raises his hand to the side of my head, "I need to see what happened." I nod and close my eyes.

I feel his force like a cool breeze on my mind, it overwhelms me at first. Hes being intense and thorough. His other hand, the metal cold on my skin grabs at my neck to steady me. He runs his fingers down my neck in a patterned tapping motion. I can tell what hes seeing is disturbing him. His thumb grazes my jaw where a large bruise should be. I dont open my eyes as he proceeds on to the king...

His finger stop tapping, his thumb stops stroking my jaw and I can tell he is refraining from having a snapping episode. I open my eyes and his are shut tight. He seeing what I felt, the feeling when I was dieing. He opens his eyes and looks at me. The feeling overwhelms me of what I believed were my final moments.

He is hesitant now with me. He looks as though he wants to say something.

"It's not your fault, I shouldn't have gone. It was stupid of me to think they would listen. I just had no idea they would be working together. I fear I have made things worse." I look down. I don't want him to blame himself for what happened to me. I'm a big girl, I can see that it was all my fault.

"Your right, you shouldn't have." He puts his finger under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his gaze, "But now I have a reason to slaughtered them all. Look what they did to you Rey, he basically sucked the life out of you. I am in no way going to allow him to live another day. Tomorrow I am leaving and I am going to wipe out his entire flock."

"I... I..." I start but he cuts me off.

"Not another word. You still need rest and the kids will be up soon. You've been out of it for a few days. I had to keep you under till I could heal all your wounds." He says and runs his fingers through the tips of my long hair. "If I would have lost you... If I hadn't made it there when I did... I don't know what I would have done." His words are so sincere, his voice alittle shaky. And in my head I make a vow to never make him feel like this again.

"Can I just go peak at them, oh Iv missed them." I plead. He nods his head and stands up. He walks across the room and disappears into the closet for a moment. I swing my fee out of bed and stand up only to realize I'm much to cold in just my bra and underwear.

As if he already knew what I was going to say, Kylo emerges with a soft, thin, long, black robe. He holds it out for me to step into. It's soft, like cotton but even softer. It feels so warm on my tingling freshly healed skin. In some spots I swear I can still feel the residual bite marks. I pull up the sleeve and rub a spot on my arm. Kylo reaches over, softly grabbing my arm to comfort me. How one large hand wraps around my wrist and pulls me to him.

"What he did to you was monstrous and he will suffer because of it." He says. Warmth radiating off his chest onto my tear soaked cheeks.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

I cry and wrap my arms around him. He pulls away and holds me at arms length. "You have made me into who I am today. I am stronger, faster, more powerful because of you. And with that power comes the responsibility to protect my family. Never again will harm come to you." His voice, his posture, his face, all read serious and honest. He is pouring his heart out and I can't help but love this man even more for being so open with me.

"I love you Kylo Ren, all the dark you have inside you doesn't matter to me because I will forever love you and only you till my dieing breath." I reach up, grab his neck and pull him in for a hard kiss. I just wanted to feel his lips on mine. He wraps his arms around me tight and deepens the kiss. He pulls away but grabs my hand and leads me past the living room to the kids room.

One by one I check on them. Watch them breath for a few minutes and kiss their sleeping faces before going to meet Kylo back in the hallway, but only to find him not there. I look down to the end of the hall and notice his office door cracked and a light on. I walk down there and slowly push the door open and see Kylo standing over his desk, fiddling with something I can not see. I walk over to him and place my hand on his back, running it down his spine and back muscles. He is built like an ox now. So strong and solid. He's been training hard and it shows. He turns around and I'm shocked to see my saber with in his hands.

"Please don't leave this behind next time, though I'm not sure when I'm going to let you back out of here." I know he's serious. "My solider found it when I sent him to retrieve your ship. Said it was just lying on the seat. Do you mind explaining it to me?"

Confused I respond, "Dont you think you would have seen if I had anything to do with that. I thought it was lost for good because when Duke caught me off guard I reached for it but that was the last I remember. Maybe he put it back?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I'll find out when I search his mind, as soon as I find the fucker I am going to split his head open." He makes a fist and punched his table, causing some papers to fly in the ground and a tiny statue of his ship to tip over. I jumped alittle. His metal hand can withstand punching hard metals apparently.

"I'm really tired now." I turn and start walking out of the room. Even saying Dukes name makes me want to vomit. I want to know more about where he came from and what he meant by Poe and Finn resigning in counsel after my abduction. I would love to know why... My mind is running a million miles a minute. I reach the living room, clutching my saber tight, I walk over to the windows and look outside at the trees moving in the violent wind. I hear him walking into the living room but I dont turn around. I continue t watch the trees sway.

"Do you believe me now?" He says, his voice is close. I know hes standing behind me waiting for me turn around, his question catches me off guard.

"Believe what?" I say, still not wanting to face him.

"That the Resistance is the true evil." He says, gloating. I spin around bumping into his chest he is so close. He grabs my arms to prevent me from tumbling over.

"Not all of them." I say.

"You really believe that?" He archs an eyebrow at me and I have to admit, hes right. I dont believe in anything they stand for now. I cant bring myself to think that they will do whatever necessary to eliminate our family. Where is Leia? Would she really order them to kill me or kill Kylan and Ana. I doubt it.

"I believe that their is still good in everyone." I know my response is not what he wants to hear but he knows what I mean.

"All that matters now is that your safe. okay?" He sighs. "Lets go to bed."

Im entirely to exhausted to fight right now and he knows it. I want to get to bed so I can see the kids in the morning, oh how I have missed them. My senses reach out and feel them, feel how close they are and I smile at Kylo. A smile to hide how I really am feeling.

Confused. Overwhelmed. Angry... the list goes on.

I go crawl into bed next to Kylo, my back to his front. His warm hand wrapped around me, his other cold hand under my pillow. He pulls me extra close and snuggles his nose into my hair. I can feel his warm breath on my skin and its comforting. The night I have laid awake thinking about how much Iv missed him, and this was one reason. When we touch my body goes numb to my surroundings. I can forget the other things going on and just peacefully drift into a deep sleep.


End file.
